Sarah clacked her fingers. “That’s just
it… what else could I possibly talk about?” Sarah touched Penny’s arm lightly.
“Because of your bluntness, I refused to sit in front of that damn television
any longer. It was hard in the beginning,” she admitted, smiling proudly. “But
I did it thanks to you.”
“That’s just great Sarah.” Penny felt
uneasy: she really didn’t feel like she had done a good deed. But hey, Sarah
Bentley looked on top of the world. The tables had turned, and now she was the
pathetic one with nothing to look forward to other than the Tonight Show. “I
switched jobs, you know!” She tugged Winston’s face away from Brutus’ butt.
“Really, where are you now?”
She tried to sound self assured. “I am a
nurse on the oncology floor at Wayside Hospital.”
“Wow,” Sarah sighed. “You really are my
role model.”
“Well, let’s not get carried away.”
“Dating anyone?”
“Nope.” She felt a pang in the pit of her
stomach.
Sarah touched her arm again. “Gary has
this great friend who happens to be single. Would you like to meet him?”
She wondered who the stranger was in her
head who said on her behalf: “I’m open to anything these days.” She felt a
twinge of guilt that she had wanted nothing to do with this woman. Now, in just
a few short minutes, Sarah had become more interesting. “I would like to meet
Gary’s friend. It could be fun.” She shrugged: she didn’t want to appear too
eager.
Sarah grinned and checked her watch.
“That’s a plan then. I’ll set something up soon, I promise. Got to run, but
we’ll be in touch.”
Penny waved her hand nonchalantly. She
didn’t want to seem like she was climbing up the walls for a quality date with
a man. A nice restaurant or a movie sounded like heaven. It had been far too
long since she had done that, and the desperation was nipping at her like a
thousand paper cuts.
She thought about the irony of her situation.
Telling Sarah how boring she was may have improved her mornings, but Sarah had
gotten an even better deal out of it. Hey Sarah, I think you owe me big time,
she thought as a smile spread across her face.
The following day, she was at work promptly at 7AM,
ready for whatever hellish challenge this hospital should conspire to throw at
her, ready for indifferent colleagues and tricky procedures, ready for anything
except the sight of Dr Bruck, leaning against the wall by the main desk, deep
in conversation with one of the prettiest nurses on staff. Peggy Mastersen.
Blond, petite, and perky. She was hanging on Dr Bruck’s arm, laughing merrily
at something he had said. Penny could have been invisible when she shouldered
past Dr Bruck and his over-attentive groupie. To make matters even worse, Reins
was waiting at the end of the corridor. Great start to the morning. Penny
hurried towards her.
“We have a situation in room 202,” Nurse
Battleaxe said, briskly motioning her to follow. “A patient with cancer of the
esophagus is smoking in his bed. He lights up the minute we take our eyes off
him. I’ve told him repeatedly that smoking is forbidden, but our patient
doesn’t seem to be listening. Granted, my bedside manner isn’t exactly
saintly.” Reins stopped and turned to face Penny. “I want you to persuade him
to put the butt out pronto or I will have no choice but to call security.”
Her jaw dropped. “Me? What can I do about
it? If he won’t listen to you, or any of the other nurses, what makes you think
he’s going to heed me?”
Reins’ eyes narrowed, like a hawk about
to swoop down for the kill. “I had Peggy talk to him, and she can ooze charm
with the best of them.” Didn’t she just know it. Rubbing her forehead, Reins
turned haggard. “Last night Mr Romin was informed that his cancer has spread.
Before you talk to him, review his chart and it will tell you everything you
need to know. Let’s try one more time to reason with this man. I don’t want to
resort to having him hauled out of bed.”
The moment Penny entered Mr Romin’s room,
she reviewed his chart. Just as she had suspected, his prognosis was not good.
Penny could plainly see the look of despair on the older man’s ashen face. Half
a Marlboro dangled from his hand.
Mr Romin’s eyes rested on Penny’s with
disinterest. He sunk back into the small TV on the wall. Penny could hear
shouting coming from it and wondered what he was watching. The lit cigarette
was now dangling from his lower lip. She moved closer to him. “Can I get you
another blanket?”
His absent gaze didn’t leave the TV.
Retrieving a blanket from the closet, she
put it on him and gently pulled it up to his shoulders. He held the cigarette
up carefully.
“Hey,” Penny said brightly, “how about an
ice pop?”
He looked at her as if she’d just suggested
something crazy. “An ice pop?”
“Sure! They’re the best I ever had.”
Leaning down, she whispered, ‘I’m hooked on them.” She headed out and returned
quickly with a cherry popsicle.
Opening it with one hand, Mr Romin
stubbed out his cigarette with the other. He had a white paper cup under the bedsheet
with a splash of water in it just for this purpose. After opening the ice pop
he sucked on it meditatively. Penny stood by his bedside in silence.
Finally, with a quick laugh, she put it
to him: “Now Mr Romin, tell me the truth, what tastes better, the cigarette or
the ice pop?”
He stopped sucking for a moment and
looked up at her. The look of sadness was so heartbreaking that Penny instinctively
took hold of his hand and squeezed it.
“There’s a whole lot of those in the
freezer,” she offered. “All you have to do is ask, and we have all sorts of
flavors too, lime, orange, and lemon, you name it. Don’t tell the other patients
but the best flavor is lime, you’ll have more for yourself.”
He gave a faint smile. “It hurts to
talk.”
“You don’t have to say a word, just ring
if you need me for anything.”
“No I mean,” he pressed his hand to his
heart, “it’s been a really bad day.”
She gently lifted the covers and took the
paper cup with the wet cigarettes away, along with the pack of cigarettes.
Taking a deep breath, she prayed that
this time she would say the right thing. “My mom smokes like a chimney, I understand
how hard it is to quit. But smoking here, right now, isn’t going to make
anything better.” Putting her hand on top of his, she added, “You may not think
so now, but you will absorb the shock of what you just heard.” She chuckled
lightly to take out the sting of her words, “and you certainly don’t want
Security to come and haul you out of here, ’cause then your bad day will become
even worse.”
“If the lime is the best flavor, why
didn’t you bring me that in the first place?” Mr Romin asked softly as his eyes
fixed once again on the TV. Penny swore she saw a slight twinkle in his eye.
“Next one is lime, I promise.”
The next few hours were nonstop. The
oncology floor was full, and there was a stack of requests and procedures to be
performed. She was feeling more in command; she was that much more organized;
and she was able to administer medications to patients with relative ease. The
knot in her stomach was not as acute when she had to draw blood, and as far as
she could see not one patient winced. She felt proud to bursting.
She also made a mental note to appear
open to meeting new people. Whenever she passed the other nurses, technicians
and doctors working on the floor, she tried her best to make eye contact and
glue a smile onto her face. But she still felt invisible. A few of the nurses
nodded politely, or said a quick hello, but none of them wanted to take the
next step: an actual conversation. She was well aware there were cliques in a
hospital. Breaking in was going to be a challenge, but she was sure as hell
going to try.
Sitting in the nurse’s lounge on her
lunch break, she thoughtfully munched her turkey on wheat bread. She didn’t
think she could face another day in the cafeteria. Looking down at her nurse’s
slacks, she noticed that they were loose at the waist. Her eyes strayed over to
the weighing scales at the far end of the room.
Standing on the scale, she had to move
the lever down to balance it. She’d lost nine pounds.
“Which is it?” she heard a male’s voice
say, “Lost or gained?”
She whirled around to find Dr Bruck
standing not ten feet away. She gasped, pushed the lever to a lesser weight,
and jumped off the scale.
He laughed. “Most women never let you in
on what they really weigh. Every female patient I’ve ever taken care of takes
at least ten pounds off her real weight.”
Her face heated up; the blood was
pounding in her ears. “I lost,” she stammered, and quickly added, “But I have a
way to go I’m afraid.” She felt like kicking herself around the room.
Rummaging through the refrigerator, Dr
Bruck called over his shoulder, “Nonsense, I think you look perfect just as you
are.” He grabbed an apple and turned to face her as he took a huge bite. Before
he could say anything further, the intercom spat into life and his name
crackled around the room. He departed with a wave and a smile.
A rush of excitement went through her so
quickly that she shuddered. The rush rebounded from her feet with a deep chill
going up her spine. Dr Bruck thinks I’m perfect, she thought, and repeated it
over and over. She said the words softly out loud and they rolled off her
tongue like happy pills. She dumped the uneaten sandwich in the garbage.
Just as she took in a deep breath to
contain her giddiness, Reins burst into the room and announced in a clipped
voice, “The patient in 202 is complaining of dizziness.”
She jumped away from the garbage bin as
if something had reared up and bit her.
Looking at Penny, Reins said evenly,
“From what I hear Mr Romin has not lit up since this morning.”
“I’m so glad to hear that.” A bolt of joy
ran through her.
“Peggy found the paper cup filled with
the discarded smokes in the garbage.”
“Maybe he decided to switch to ice pops.”
Turning to go, Reins said, “Well,
whatever you did, it seemed to work. Now go see about our patient in room 202.”
She waited until Reins closed the door
before clasping her hands in front of her. She accepted the possibility that
perhaps Nurse Reins had just complimented her on a job well done. Another rush
of happiness washed over her and she stood for a moment basking in these
wonderful unfamiliar feelings.
“Hey Penny,” she said to herself, “I
should accept compliments graciously; after all, I am worth so much more than
that.”
The day Penny dreaded was now before her. Her nephew’s
Communion Party. Over a hundred people would be attending the luncheon at Wells
Inn, and Amber had been busy planning it for weeks with Dolores.
The past few weeks Penny’s mother had
called her at least a dozen times. Penny had tried her best to avoid her. After
the Communion, her mother would have time to turn her attention back onto her
daughter and Dolores’ attention was always a very bad thing.
Penny arrived at the Church late. Walking
briskly, she hurried inside and quietly seated herself in the back pew. Dolores
and Amber would be furious about her tardiness, but she didn’t care. She knew
she had to get through this day and prepare herself for the questions that
would be assaulting her shortly. Her insensitive relatives would soon set her
teeth on edge.
Her neighbor for the morning was Aunt
Hazel. As Penny sat and tried to zero in on the priest’s sermon, her aunt whispered
in her ear, “Any good news for me Penny?
“I have a new job,” she whispered back.
Aunt Hazel dismissed that with a wave of
her hand. “I don’t mean that kind of news.”
“Sorry, nothing else to report.”
Shaking her head slowly, Aunt Hazel
turned away.
After the service Penny stood by the
banister of the church stairs and watched everyone flow out. Steve and Theo
hurried by with their two-year-old daughter Carrie in tow. Carrie was sniffling
miserably. She rubbed her swollen red nose and cried out, “I want to go now.”
She tugged down hard on her mother’s sleeve.
“Don’t wrinkle my jacket,” Theo scolded,
pulling her arm away. She struck quite a figure in her white Armani suit. Penny
knew it was Armani because Theo had taken every opportunity to tell her,
repeatedly, what she would be wearing. She did look beautiful though. Theo had
black shiny hair, a slim figure with a tiny waist, and a great ass. Penny
always envied her ass. It was perfectly round and always looked fabulous,
especially in a pair of jeans.
“Hey,” Steve said when he spotted Penny,
“I see you bailed out of there fast too.” He laughed and playfully punched her
shoulder.
“I said I want to go,” Carrie shrieked.
She leaned in close and yanked her father’s sleeve.
“What’s your excuse for being late?” Steve
asked with a wan smile. He looked down at his daughter. “I have mine.”
Shrugging, she managed to smile back. The
knot in her stomach twisted even tighter. She answered in a pinched voice, “The
onslaught of family always fills me with acute anxiety.”