Drew didn’t answer. He continued to drive until they pulled up on a familiar street. He parked, then shut off the engine. Ash’s breath caught in his throat as they faced each other.
“No, I won’t. You’re coming home with me.” Drew reached across the seat, his hand extended. Without any hesitation, Ash took it and gave a gentle squeeze, then opened his door and got out. Together they walked to Drew’s building, neither speaking.
It was dark here, the leafy oak trees creating a canopy, arching over both sides of the narrow street. They blocked out the night sky, allowing mere glimmers of luminous moonlight to filter in between its branches. Ash held back, looking upward toward the sky.
“It’s so peaceful here, so safe. One could almost believe nothing bad happens in the world when you stand here.”
Drew touched his shoulder. “Come. Let’s go upstairs.”
He followed Drew, desire building with every step. By the time they’d reached Drew’s door, Ash’s heightened arousal had him trembling from restraint. Finally the door opened, and he pushed Drew inside. With a rough intensity that surprised him, Ash pressed Drew against the wall. He grasped Drew’s hips, eager to feel his hardness against his own arousal.
“I want you,” Ash gasped as he licked and nuzzled Drew’s throat. “But you need to tell me.”
Drew bucked his hips against Ash, his heavy arousal evident even through his jeans. “Tell you what?”
“That you want me. Tell me you want this, want me in your bed, in your body.” Ash bit down on Drew’s shoulder while thrusting his cock into Drew’s groin, and was rewarded with a deep moan.
“God, yes. Fuck it, Ash. I want you so badly it’s killing me. I was dying inside being without you these past months.” Drew’s lips against Ash’s cheek brushed soft and warm, his breath gusting sweet. “I’m tired of worrying about what everyone thinks I should be. I only know even when I was with Shelly, I was still lonely. And all I could think of was you.”
Ash could barely recognize his own voice, hoarse from desire and need. “I haven’t been with anyone since I met you. No one. I want you so fucking bad, baby, my head is goin’ to explode.” He pulled Drew against him. “Put your arms around my neck and hold on.”
Drew wound his arms around Ash’s neck. Ash picked him up, and Drew wrapped his legs around Ash’s waist, their cocks nestling together. “I’m taking you to bed and not letting go of you until the mornin’.”
Ash walked through the apartment holding Drew tight while kissing his neck and whispering in his ear. “I love that sexy Southern accent that comes out when you’re excited.” Drew kissed Ash’s ear. “It’s such a turn-on.”
Finally reaching the bedroom, Ash dropped Drew on the bed and pulled off his shirt. Drew’s pale skin almost glowed in the moonlit room. Ash made short work of his own shirt, pants, and boxers, until he stood naked and fully aroused in front of Drew, who stopped undressing to stare.
“I remember in your apartment how you took me in your mouth.” Drew’s fingers clasped his erection, his eyes bright with desire. “I want to do that for you.” He licked his lips and dropped to his knees. Ash almost came on the spot. When the sweet, wet warmth of Drew’s mouth closed over the head of Ash’s cock, sliding down, grazing the sensitive underside with his teeth, he whimpered.
“Fuck, Drew. I’m gonna come in your mouth if you don’ stop.”
Drew licked and swirled his tongue all around his shaft, running the tip of his tongue hard along the sensitive underside. While one hand gently pumped him, the other tickled his balls, teasing the sensitive skin.
Though mindful that it was Drew’s first time, Ash couldn’t help getting swept away by the overwhelming sucking sensation of Drew’s talented mouth and tongue. He tried to show restraint, but his hips began to thrust, forcing his cock farther into Drew’s mouth. Without stopping, Drew’s tongue continued its teasing, tickling path.
“Baby, be careful; don’t wanna hurt you.” Ash panted. “Oh God, fuck me, it feels too good.” Drew took him in all the way, deep, until the head of his cock touched the back of Drew’s throat. A few more pumps and Ash’s body seized and shuddered as he came hard, crying out in the night.
“Oh God, shit, Drew.” He dropped down on the bed as his cock continued to twitch and pulse. After a minute, he pulled out of Drew’s mouth, still shivering.
Boneless and sated, he fell backward and pulled Drew snug up next to him. “Baby, you didn’t need to do that. Tonight I was supposed to take care of you.” He kissed the top of Drew’s silky head.
Drew’s mouth was buried in the sweet spot where his neck met his shoulder. The movement of his lips sent shivers of delight rippling under his skin. “Who takes care of you? It’s time you let someone know you and be there for you.”
Emotion threatened to overcome common sense, as Ash wanted to say words he’d never before imagined possible. Instead, he rolled on top of Drew, their bare chests rubbing together, creating a delicious friction. The walls came crashing down as he held Drew’s face in his hands. “Let me kiss you.” And for the first time, willingly, he kissed a man, kissed Drew, plunging his tongue into his mouth, tasting the faint saltiness of his own essence. Their tongues teased and danced until he licked his way down Drew’s jaw to his neck and throat. Ash wanted to both laugh and cry with the delicious sensations unfurling in his body. Denied for so long, Ash’s lips throbbed as Drew nipped and nibbled at them.
This exorcism of his sordid past could only have been with Drew. He made everything possible in Ash’s impossible dreams. As they learned each other’s curves and softness, tasted one another’s lips and breath, Ash knew no matter what happened, he’d never be able to remove the mark that Drew left on his heart.
Their deep kisses turned to sweet, light brushes of lips. Ash rested his forehead against Drew’s. “You’re still wearing your pants. That’s not acceptable. Take them off.”
Drew’s fingers trembled against his stomach as he popped the tab on his shorts and pulled down his zipper. After he wriggled underneath Ash, which provided some interesting results, Drew kicked the shorts off so he lay only in his boxers. Freed from the constraints of clothes, Ash watched the rosy tip of Drew’s cock peek out from the top of his underwear as it swelled and grew.
Still straddling him, Ash flexed his hips so their cocks brushed each other. Though he’d enjoyed an eye-popping orgasm only minutes before, his cock twitched and perked up at the contact. He braced his arms on either side of Drew’s head and bent down to once again kiss his lips. When Drew sighed his pleasure, Ash’s lips curved in a smile.
“Happy, baby?” He couldn’t help but nibble on Drew’s neck. The man tasted so damn sweet. Like a cat, Ash rubbed his cheek against Drew’s neck, nuzzling into his warmth as he reached down to grip Drew’s hard cock. Steel cloaked in hot silk. He caressed Drew’s length and rubbed the thick head to pick up wetness.
“Oh yeah, I’m so fucking happy I could die right now.” Drew sighed as he arched his cock into Ash’s hand, pushing hard.
“We have all night. Don’t die on me now.” Ash chuckled, the laughter catching in his throat as Drew continued to thrust hard, his cock sliding and rubbing against his hand. Within minutes Drew’s body arched off the bed, and with a grunt he came all over Ash’s stomach, shooting up toward his chest.
Drew sank back on the bed, and Ash collapsed on top of him. They lay belly to belly, chest to chest, their cocks spent for now. After a few minutes, Ash got up to go to the bathroom to clean himself. He brought back a warm, damp washcloth and rubbed down Drew’s stomach, kissing it after wiping him dry. Tossing the cloth off the side of the bed, he put his arm around Drew and pulled him close, smiling as the man curled around him. As he drifted off to sleep, it occurred to Ash that this was the first time he’d ever slept next to another person or shared a lover’s bed.
Chapter Eighteen
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t my fault; it wasn’t my fault.” Drew bolted upright in bed, sweat pouring off his face. A strong arm came around to hold him, and he stared into the steady, silver eyes of Ash.
“What’s the matter, baby? You have a bad dream?” Ash kissed the top of Drew’s head and hugged him close. The beat of Ash’s heart thumping, so real, calmed Drew, but the violent images of his nightmare remained in his mind. He nodded, then rolled away from Ash.
“I’m sorry I woke you. I get them since my parents’ accident.” He stiffened, shocked at how easily that confession, never before revealed, slipped out.
“Do you want to talk about them?” Ash lay on his side, his face all but hidden in the shadows of the night, aside from the glint of his eyes and the gleam of his white teeth. “You’ve never really told me about your parents. Unless of course it would bother you too much.”
Drew flopped onto his back, the black emptiness of the bedroom perfectly matching his dark mood. “I had the best of childhoods, yet for some reason, I lived in a constant panic it would all be taken away from me. I never liked being alone, thinking that if people left, they wouldn’t come back.”
From the living room he heard his cat’s plaintive meow. Domino was now used to sleeping in his bed and didn’t appreciate being evicted. Perhaps he didn’t like being alone either. They were alike, he and his cat. Two strays, lonely for companionship. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, determined not to let loose the tears that threatened to spill over.
“It was my fault they died.” He gulped air down his swollen throat and curled himself in a ball, facing away from Ash.
“I thought they died in a car accident?” Ash sounded confused.
“They did.” Oh God, why did he have to have that nightmare? Perhaps he could distract Ash, and he’d stop asking questions. He sat up and grasped Ash around his neck.
“Kiss me?” He tried to press his lips to Ash’s, but to his surprise, Ash drew back and sat up in bed.
“You’re deflecting, Drew. If you don’t want to talk about it, fine. All you have to do is say so. But”—he took a deep breath—“I think you need to get this off your chest, and I want to help you get through it.” Ash took his hand and laced their fingers together. “Talk to me, baby. Let me help you through your pain. Share with me; tell me your secrets like I told you mine.”
Drew rubbed their entwined fingers across his lips. Compared to what Ash had been through, he had no right to complain. “It’s stupid, but when I started college, I lived away from home for the first time, and I missed my parents and my friends. I was so lonely and spent most of my time in the library. I guess I was the nerdy little premed everyone thought.”
Ash gathered Drew in his arms, his body a solid wall of comfort. “I bet you were a hot, nerdy premed, though.”
Drew rubbed his head on Ash’s shoulder, inhaling his heady scent of vanilla, coffee, and male musk. “Actually I had few friends. I missed everyone at home so much, and I begged them to come visit me all the time.”
Ash said nothing, merely stroked his hair, occasionally planting kisses on his head and cheek.
“My mother didn’t drive, and my father hated taking such a long trip, but I guess I made them feel so guilty, they agreed. They came, and we had a great weekend. On the way home, they were hit by the tractor trailer.” Hot tears coursed down Drew’s cheeks as the agony engulfed him. “If I wasn’t such a needy, pathetic bastard, they’d still be alive. They’d told me they’d almost brought Rachel. For God’s sake, I could’ve killed her too.”
He lost it then and sobbed into Ash’s chest. The pain and self-reproach that had clawed at him all throughout Rachel’s minor breakdown and his grandmother’s grief finally broke free.
“Let it out; it’s okay. Baby, it’s been almost ten years. You need to let it go. It wasn’t your fault. It was a horrible accident with your parents being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Drew wiped his eyes and gazed into Ash’s face. “All these years I always blamed myself and tried to make myself a better person. I grabbed on to any women who liked me, whether or not I found them compatible.”
“Like your ex-wife?” Ash murmured, his hands drifting downward to massage Drew’s shoulders.
Drew nodded. “I guess so. Yeah.”
Ash’s hands roamed over Drew’s body, tweaking his nipples, reaching down to grasp his cock. In between biting his ear and kissing his jaw, Ash licked his neck and whispered, “I think you’re amazing with what you’ve done with the clinic. You care so much about people, and you’re so good with the kids. I’ve never known anyone as good as you.”
The gentle caresses turned more purposeful as Ash rocked his stiff cock against Drew’s ass. Hands still clasped, Drew kissed Ash’s fingers and wondered why it didn’t seem strange to lie in his bed with a man instead of a woman. Instead of soft breasts and smooth perfumed skin, it now was a strong jaw and hard muscles he craved to touch and kiss.
Was he gay? Damned if he knew or even cared. He’d known Jordan his entire life and loved him as a friend for almost as long. Man or woman, what did it matter who he slept with, and why did people think it was any of their business? As his body warmed to Ash’s touch and his cock swelled with need, everything faded away until the only thing that mattered was this man and how they felt about each other.
“I want you. Make love to me. Now. I can’t think about anything other than your cock inside me.”
In one fluid motion Ash trapped him beneath his body. “You’re sure? You want me? It will never be the same after this.”
Drew shivered. A hard throbbing need uncoiled from within, releasing something wild. “Fuck me, Ash. Fuck me hard. I ache for you.” He writhed underneath Ash, seeking the friction he so desperately craved.
“Oh God, you’re gonna kill me.” Ash’s strained voice broke, then gasped out raw and needy. “Tell me you have condoms. And lube.”
“Night table,” he rasped. Drew heard the drawer open and Ash rustling around. Cursing, Ash turned on a lamp, casting a glow of light over the room. A strip of condoms hit the bed along with a bottle of lotion; then Ash came crawling back to him on all fours, looking like a large, dark jungle cat. Drew lay back admiring his lover’s handsome face and muscular shoulders. Dark hair sprinkled down Ash’s broad chest and washboard abs and led a trail down to his stiffened cock, which rose up straight and proud.