Authors: Madlen Namro
Day in and day out, a life of monotony. The many years in the service of the United Nations had taught the commodore to discard emotions and not to rely on feelings. But these last few years in the company of Jo, David and Alec had begun to reverse this transformation. He was starting to understand that sometimes being human was more valuable than being a soldier.
There were times when his thoughts would drift to the images of his daughter, living somewhere, thousands of kilometres away. He would even allow himself a moment of longing, but never for longer than a moment. He had ambitions to realise, goals to achieve. The commodore scratched at his beard and started towards his private patio. He needed a moment of meditation. After that he was planning to do some yoga.
Yoga was a popular form of exercise among commandos and everyone else living in space for that matter. Forced to come to terms with the specific living conditions of the space base, they treated the sport as a remedy for stress which at the same time allowed them to stay in shape. Most of its adepts were far from seeing it as simply a vent for physical tension; they had kung fu, box and karate for that. Yoga was, above all else, a mental and spiritual art, a means of looking deeply into ones own soul, of awakening the mind. Through it, they were able to feel free for at least a brief moment. While practicing yoga several hundred thousands of kilometres from the Earth, the commandos worked towards the illusive equilibrium between the body, mind and soul. They would also include asana in their exercises, improving the body’s flexibility and vitality. Breathing was also important if one wished to calm one’s senses and maintain the asana for an extended period of time. Focussing on those simple tasks allowed deep relaxation and took their minds off Earth, the fate of their families and even the most personal troubles lurking somewhere at the backs of their heads.
The commandos practiced yoga because it was a way of development in virtually all the aspects of a person’s life, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. It was the
sarvabhauma
– general learning.
Leon and Eric, the shuttle’s pilots, were great lovers of the sport. It was through their efforts that a specially adapted exercise room had been created here on Atlantis, a room where they now spent most of their free time. Leon lay face-down on the floor, folded his elbows and placed his hands on the floor, along his waistline. He spread his feet by less than thirty centimetres and breathed in. Then he lifted his body off the floor, supporting it only on his hands and toes.
In this position his body stiffened, aligned above the floor. His knees were tense. Leon closed his eyes and drew a few deep breaths. As he exhaled for the last time, he leapt some thirty centimetres forward by suddenly lifting his hands and feet off the floor. As he landed, he repeated the breathing sequence before making another leap. He had begun one of his favourite exercises, the dance of a crocodile. While carrying on with the
Nakrayana
asana, which in fact literally meant ‘a crocodile’, he asked Eric,
“David could pull off one hell of a body twist, couldn’t he?”
“He’s probably pulling them off right now.” Eric looked around the room for ropes. “I’m glad he completed the mission and all, but I wonder if anyone’s going to pull him out of there.”
“Don’t you worry.” Leon made another leap forward. “Levi wouldn’t leave him behind. He’s the best of the best, isn’t he?”
“Sweet mother Earth…” Eric hung head-down from a rope, folded his knees and pulled his feet together. “If it wasn’t for his son, I wonder if he’d even want to come back.” He released and hung down loosely, touching the floor with his fingertips.
“But he does have a son. And don’t forget about Jo. Those two are really close. They’ve been through a lot together.”
Leon reversed his exercise and began leaping backwards while exhaling until he reached the spot from where he’d started. They continued their exercises, not speaking any more, each one’s thoughts drifting to David and his mission on Earth. They envied the opportunity to walk the plane once more, even for a short while. But they also remembered the courage and determination it must have taken for David to pull off this almost impossible task. His knowledge of Arabic languages, dark complexion and hair colour must have helped, but it couldn’t have been easy to actually become one of the enemies, to become a terrorist.
He had done it all in only six months, surprisingly fast considering the extreme danger and conditions he had had to work in. Why the hurry? The desire to return safely to his son was all the motivation he’d needed. It had given him almost superhuman abilities. In only a few hours he was to contact the commandos. It wouldn’t be long before he could see his friends again.
* * * *
The big hall, built only a year before, housed only several water barrels, chairs placed in a semicircle and a table in front of them with several more comfortable seats. The metallic walls gave the room a stern feel. Groups of commandos and a few commodores entered the room through a number of entrance passageways. Levi welcomed them as the oldest officer there and waved them to their seats. When everyone had settled down, he was the first to speak.
“Today, on the eve of the Defence Council’s next session, we are summoned here to discuss issues of the utmost importance. We have with us a senator, a member of the council.”
A gray-haired man rose from his chair and the commandos, alarmed by the sudden and unexpected assembly, began to whisper amongst themselves. The senator returned to his seat and nodded at Levi to continue.
“Firstly, the Defence Council wishes to be presented with the complete list of towns and cities regained from the terrorists. Secondly, we are to discuss our plans for the future and the new strategies which you’ve been so painstakingly working on this year. Thirdly…”
The room grew quiet. They all realised that the Luna was the only shuttle that had attempted to infiltrate the enemy’s camps by sending a man to Earth, the type of mission which in the Council’s directive no. 45 was determined to only be the last resort, considering the danger involved for the soldier.
“Thirdly…” The commodore spoke louder to keep the commandos’ attention. “As you may be aware, one of our men has managed to place a transmitter amongst the group surrounding Alexander vel Alkhim, the son of the terrorists’ leader. Soon, our computers will be able to closely monitor the area and we’ll be informed of the enemy’s every move. Our top priority at this point is to assemble a team to rescue our commando stranded on Earth.”
At this the whispers grew much louder. Alec kept glancing over at Jo. He realised that once David was back, he and Jo would soon meet. Alec was curious how the commando would react to the news that his closest friend did not even remember him. He tried to conceal his happiness at the fact that the two would be somehow separated.
Suddenly, Jo leant towards him and asked quietly, “What’s that around Levi’s neck?” She pointed discreetly at the commodore.
“I believe that’s some sort of memorial data access code.”
“The volunteers,” Levi continued, “willing to take on the mission will report to my office within three hours of this meeting. And now, the senator wishes to say a few words.”
The politician got up and slowly manoeuvred between the commodores’ chairs. His expression clearly suggested that he had not come there to praise.
“In the last few months not a single city lost to the terrorists has been returned to the United Nations. We all know how the terrorists think. They are ruthless and unpredictable. And now they are lead by the best strategist we’ve yet to face. You all know of this man and most of you may have heard his story. He is a genius and a mad man, spreading fanaticism at every step. His name is Kaminsky.”
Even the sound of the name made the commandos feel uneasy. Jo’s was the only face expressing a lack of recollection. She tried to search her mind for any information about this man, but there was nothing there.
“The only way we can beat him, is by being equally ruthless and determined. We must support the commandos stationed in the free zones on Earth. Now, if this new transmitter turns up, to our expectations, we will be able to take that support to a new level. We must help our brothers in the struggle, even if it means the most dangerous, direct involvement. We must do our best. I know you will not fail us!”
The commandos rose to their feet and rewarded the speech with an ovation. As they clapped their hands, they felt a renewed enthusiasm surging through them. Only Jo remained silent, lost in her thoughts, staring blankly as she pondered on everything she had forgotten of her life and her identity. She glanced at herself in her inner mirror. She begun to realise that in all this, her soul had somehow been torn to shreds.
* * * *
All rooms on Atlantis were identically planned. Cramped and rather dark, with a small kitchenette and a bathroom. To get to them, the residents had to use the building’s outside elevators. As they stepped out, they could see seemingly endless directions. Room corridors. Teflon was everywhere.
In most cases, the rooms were decorated to at least resemble Earthly conditions, which was a lost cause considering all the metallic elements. The base as a whole was, generally speaking, a rather discouraging sight.
Levi’s room was strictly ascetic. Although there was a small kitchenette, he usually ate all his meals in the canteen. He had neither the time nor desire to cater for himself. He also did what he could to avoid nutrition pills. They tended to upset his stomach and they tasted horrible. In fact, all he had in his kitchen at that moment was some leftover ersatz coffee, stashed away for longer than he could remember. He served a cup to Jo. There was no need to ask what was eating her. He knew all too well.
“My last clear memory,” she said after a long pause, “is of the day I came to tell my parents I’d been accepted as the Luna’s pilot. I remember their faces, tears in Mom’s eyes, her pride, Dad hugging me…”
narrow corridors entrances were leading off in all
located along the “Jo.” He sat next to her. “Stop beating yourself up. We talked about all this for a long time before the procedure, about what would happen after… You were confident you could handle it, that you’d not be tormented by the past. Now I see that the lack of those few years is really bothering you.”
Jo stood up and walked to the window from where she could see a wide panorama of Atlantis.
“I feel as if I’ve lost my face.” She finished her coffee with one anxious swig, ignoring the burn on her tongue. She looked back at Levi. “Not to mention that every person passing me knows who I am and I have no clue whether I should recognise them or not. Like Robert today. The kid runs up to me and I’ve no idea who he is. All I could see is the surprise and fear, maybe even despair in his eyes.”
She sat again. The commodore poured her another cup of coffee. She’d always loved it.
“It’s really difficult. I feel nothing for anybody. I don’t know who’s a friend and who isn’t, no love, no hate, just emptiness. I don’t know if I can handle it…”
“I know where this is going.” The commodore was beginning to sense trouble. “I’ve known you for more than five years and I know how cunning you can be. But I promised you something before the procedure and I’ll repeat it to you now. You’ll never get the access codes from me and it would be much better for your own sake…” He stressed the last words. “To just let it go. You yourself predicted that one day you might try to force it from me, but trust me, it won’t happen. I’ll destroy it if that’s what it takes.” He motioned to his chest where the access codes were hanging on a thick chain.
Jo had been discreetly glancing at the codes all that time and Levi was perfectly aware of the fact.
“There’s no argument you could make that would change my mind.”
Jo had tears in her eyes as anger and frustration began to surge through her. The commodore took her hand.
“And as for friends, remember that those who were on your side before are still there, provided they truly care for you.”
“Commodore, is there anyone I should know of? Do I have any real friends at all?”
“Yes. You have me and David.” He neglected to mention Alec on purpose.
“David?”
“Yes. He’s a commando, one of the best on the Luna. His name is David Scar.”
He left her there to digest all she had to face and walked out of the room. It was time to choose the commandos for David’s rescue mission.
* * * *
After the meeting with the Defence Council member, the commandos who had families on Atlantis would sequester themselves in their rooms, while those who were single or had lost their loved ones in terrorist attacks sought company in clubs and community areas where they could have a drink and chat. Others preferred the solitude of gyms or computer screens.
Alec was, by all appearances, one of the fortunate ones, with a family of his own, a wife and soon a child, but nonetheless he was not a happy man. There’d always been something eating him inside. Most people who knew him would say he was a man torn by contradictions, that he was unreasonably chaotic and disorderly. David and Levi had both been equally surprised by the way Jo used to be attracted to him. Maybe it was nothing but chemistry or maybe there was more to it. She had invested so much of her heart and soul into that relationship and he’d thrown it all away without a second thought. And what for? Neither was able to answer that question.
It was stuffy. Alec lay down on the floor, because the bed was too soft for him to stretch his muscles, sore after his workout. Diana was watching him closely. Neither had said anything for several minutes and it was apparent the she would have to be the one to break the silence.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked hesitantly. “Nothing,” he answered coarsely, his frown looming with anger instantly growing in his expression. Diana walked across the room and approached him wearily.
“You’re thinking about Jo.” She gestured at him, desperately. “Ever since she stopped remembering you, you haven’t thought of anything but her. You want to get back in her graces, is that it?”
Alec got up from the floor sensing another long discussion about Jo. But they’d not been together for over a year. Even at work they didn’t seem to get along too well anymore. He felt that Jo was blocking him somehow, as if hiding something, that there were things they should have discussed but never managed to. Now that she’d erased those five years of her life, it was as if their whole relationship had never happened and whatever chance they’d had to rectify their unresolved issues was now gone.
“Stop it.” Alec made an attempt to calm his wife down. “Jo is our captain, Levi’s right hand; we have to get on with each other. I’ll do my best to make sure she finds it in herself to like me, as a colleague that is.”
“You’re hiding something. Don’t think I don’t see it!” Despair and hysteria took hold of Diana all at once. It was obvious that thoughts of Alec and his past had tormented her for a long time now.
She staggered back to her armchair and sat. Her belly was sore. Alec walked up to her and started to stroke it gently.
“You’ve never told me the whole truth about her. I’m your wife. I have to know.”
“And I’m your husband. You’re supposed to trust me. How many times must we go through this? Jo was close to me. Once. Then I met you…”
He walked to the bathroom, slightly hunched, a man caught up in a relationship without a future, a man who had broken somebody’s heart, who’d failed and who had only realised it once it was far too late. For the first time in his life he felt defeated and lonely. He was beginning to realise what it meant to be stranded among people. He needed to talk to Leon. If anyone could set him back on track it was him.
Diana followed him with her eyes as he left the room. She did not believe a word he had said, regardless of how often he’d assured her of his love. She wondered if he’d said the same things to Jo when they were together. She reached into a bedside drawer and fished out a book with an old picture of Jo and Alec. Jo was wrapping her arms around Alec’s neck, kissing him on the cheek. She saw genuine love in her husband’s eyes, something she’d never felt when he looked at her. And while Alec was taking a shower, Diana tortured herself with endless worries about the past and future. Finally, she was too tired to go on. She got up and decided to dress for supper. They were going out.
The canteen was one of the few places where one could, at least for a moment, forget about terrorists, computers, shuttles and superiors. Here, the soldiers could socialise or just sit down and think and plan for the future.
Jo remembered this room full of tables, with the little bar at the far end where alcohol allowances were distributed. Commandos stationed at the base were only allowed a drink once a month, but whenever you walked into the room it always seemed full of people. Some rules were meant to be broken. She chose a table by the window so she could watch the base.
She studied the view outside as if trying to memorise the layout of this miniature town. She ordered meat porridge, her favourite. Chewing slowly, she tried to awaken some memories through the familiar taste. She surveyed the runway in the distance. She recalled getting onboard one of the spacecrafts, leaving the base, colleagues seeing her off, waving. Then the doors closed and… that was it. The rest was a complete blank.
“Excuse me,” a voice shifted Jo’s attention from the window. “Can I join you?”
She looked up curiously and saw a man of medium height with hazel eyes and brown, closely cropped hair. His look paralysed her. She felt a sting in her heart. For a moment she was so affected, she almost forgot to breathe. Am I supposed to know this man?
“My name is Victor.” He shook her hand. “Victor Berg. I’m….” He sat apparently assuming she didn’t mind. He was himself distracted by her beauty. He’d seen her pictures on many occasions but, cliché as it would sound, he had to admit they hadn’t done her justice.
“Yes?”
“I’m actually not sure how to say this.”
“Are you a commodore from one of the shuttles?”
“No, no.” Victor smiled at her unpretentiously as the waiter served his fish with bread and
juice pri
, a vitamin and mineral drink.
“Okay, let me guess. You’re a constructor… no… more likely a senator.” Victor’s smile widened. He took off his glasses and placed them next to his plate. This woman attracted him like a magnet. He felt a peculiar vibration in his groin just from looking at her, as if he had found some sort of a long awaited treasure.
“No, Jo.”
“Seems that you know me but I’m afraid I don’t remember you. I’m sorry.” She looked up timidly and met his gaze.
“There’s no need to be sorry. I know you, but you don’t know me. I’m a tracker.”
Jo choked on her drink. Victor helped her as was usually expected, by patting her on the back. Levi had told her so many stories about trackers, the invisible people who seemed to know everything. Ruthless when necessary, highly intelligent, in unmatched physical shape, masters of martial arts, lethal… and here… one of them was cheerfully smiling at her from across the table. In fact he seemed to be rather amused by her surprise. It took Jo a moment to realise that she’d never heard of a tracker blowing his cover like that. It was hardly expected of them to just sit down across from someone, say their name and throw in their occupation details. Why, then? She couldn’t have known that Victor and Levi had been friends for years and the commodore had asked him to watch over her. Victor realised he hadn’t played his cards right. He wanted to win her trust by being bluntly honest, but maybe he’d gone too far? He couldn’t focus. She enchanted him and he found it hard to even look away.
Jo, although thrown slightly off balance, was the first to gather her wits. She used a napkin to wipe her lips and hands and then reached out to introduce herself.
“Joanna Starska, captain of the Luna. People call me Jo, but apparently you already know that.”
“Yes, I do,” he answered calmly and resumed eating, the corners of his mouth still rising in a light smile.
This startled Jo even more.
It didn’t take long for them to start talking as if they’d known each other for years. They didn’t notice the canteen filling up with new guests. Among them Alec and his wife Diana, who quickly spotted Jo chatting cheerfully with a strange man. Diana immediately began watching her husband’s behaviour, waiting for a reaction. They walked to the bar and ordered food.
A moment later they were joined by Leon, Eric and Margaret. Diana motioned over to her friend to talk to her privately, while her husband started chatting with Leon.
“Any word on the volunteers for the rescue mission?”
“Don’t think anyone’s volunteered yet. Levi’s still waiting. Why? You planning to volunteer?”
Leon and Eric exchanged knowing glances. Alec was hardly likely to stick his neck out for David. The commando moved closer to Leon and whispered.
“Have you cast my runes yet, as I asked you?”
Leon took Alec aside.
“Yes I have. The first rune was
Isa
,” he whispered. “It means ice. You know – ‘ice is extremely cold, immeasurably slippery. It glistens clear as glass. Most like to gems. A floor wrought to frost is a fair sight’.” He smiled at the commando, amused by his own quotation from the old-English description of the rune. “It means that the solution to your problem depends on you and you alone. You have to focus and act decisively, because beauty is accompanied by danger. It also suggests that you are now frozen in some way.”
“What’s that thing about beauty and danger?” Alec didn’t understand most of what he’d been told. Leon lowered his voice even more.
“You’re a handsome man and women find you attractive.” He scratched his ear. “But you’re dangerous as well…”
“What on earth are you talking about, man?” Alec was bewildered. He considered himself neither particularly handsome nor dangerous.
“You have a talent for, somehow, placing charms on people… evil charms… or even…” However, he couldn’t find the right words.
“Or even what?” Alec pressed, intrigued.
“You are even capable of killing the ones you love…”
“Oh please. Don’t give me any of that nonsense,” the commando cut him short. “Just go on with the runes. What else?” He knew that Nordic magic was Leon’s hobby. The divinations were something that gave him hope and comfort.
“The second rune is
Raidho
,” the pilot went on. “A journey awaits you, a long one. You’ll be moving house soon.”
Alec raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“And the last one is
Ehwaz
. You’ll have to act, but you won’t be alone. The rune clearly indicates some sort of partnership.”
“And what about Jo?”
“Sorry man… didn’t really read the runes with women in mind…”
Alec gave him a disappointed look, then thanked him and started back towards the bar.
Meanwhile in a far corner of the room Diana grabbed Margaret’s arm.
“Is something wrong, Diana?”
“Yes.” She glanced at the table where Jo and Victor were sitting with a strange expression on her face.
“Listen, Meg, there’s something I have to tell you...”
As she spoke her eyes travelled anxiously between Alec and Jo.
“What is it, Diana?” Margaret encouraged her.
The two friends moved on to sit at a table.
“I can’t take it anymore,” Diana started. “I simply have to know.”
“Diana, please stop doing this to yourself.” She took her friend by the hands. “I really don’t think Alec still feels anything for Jo.”
Diana reached into her pocket and produced her husband’s photo with his old girlfriend and showed it to Margaret.
“You know perfectly well that there used to be something special between them.” She quickly pocketed the photo as she saw Alec coming in their direction with plates in his hands. “I must know the truth. You’ll hook me up to the…”
“Are you insane?” Margaret couldn’t restrain herself, attracting the attention of the people around them.
“Calm down.” Diana tried to quieten her. “Please. You have to upload Jo’s memory to me!”
Margaret wanted to get up and walk away, but her friend forced her to remain seated. She could no longer bear to listen to Diana’s crazy ideas. She’d already gone too far with this.
“Do it for my baby’s sake, I have to know the truth about his father, my husband.” Alec was almost at their table. “I’ve had enough of his lies!”
The man set the plates at the table and said he would fetch something to drink.
“You must help me. Please understand…”
“Diana, we don’t even have the access code. Even if I did want to help you, we couldn’t do anything without it. Anyway, I never agreed to any uploading. You said you only wanted a copy!”
“I know.” She lowered her voice even though she’d much rather be screaming with all the anger boiling inside her. “I also know the commodore has the codes. Get them from him,” she finished in an imperative tone and turned around to look at Jo again, but there was now no one at the table.
Victor calmly strolled alongside Jo with his hands in his pockets. They talked a lot, although he had warned her earlier he was much more of a listener than a speaker. He was himself surprised by his talkativeness this evening. They marvelled at the wonders of modern technology, stopping by a workshop with state-of-the-art engines set up for repairs, raising their voices whenever the hum of machinery got too loud.
“I’ve learnt a lot about your life, but to tell you the truth I’d much rather find out something more about you yourself, the kind of person you are.” Victor was curious how she would react to such a blunt statement.
“You know that there are many things I simply cannot say.” Jo suddenly realised how true that was.
They stopped in their tracks as a group of senators hurried past them. The tracker frowned, alarmed.
“Excuse me, but it seems I’ll have to return to my duties.” He leant over and kissed Jo on the cheek.
“Umm… You’re going to do some tracking I gather.”
“Yes, I am.”
After a few steps he turned around once more and looked at her.
“See you soon, Jo.”
She smiled and glanced at her wrist watch. It was high time for her to go as well. It had been nearly three hours since Levi had called for volunteers to go on David’s rescue mission. She hurried towards the shuttle. She remembered that all mission briefings always took place onboard the ship that was assigned to it. Levi had been waiting for over two hours for a volunteer to come forth, but none had. He was immensely disappointed. If nothing changed, he would be forced to neglect a direct order and fetch David himself. He had given his word and had no intention of breaking it. He did realise, however, that as a commodore he was not authorised to leave his post without prior consent of the senators, and in this case their orders were clear. This mission was to be carried out by the commandos, not him. Suddenly, he felt a strange sensation. He closed his eyes. His telepathic senses told him someone was in his room.
Margaret sneaked onto his patio unnoticed. She’d made sure Levi wouldn’t be there. He was waiting at his post. She also knew that for the next hour or so no one would be walking down the corridor either. Step by step she surveyed his room, hoping to come across the access codes. She had much more cunning than anyone might have expected of her. The key, carried by the commodore on his neck, was only an imitation. With a trained spy’s meticulousness she searched every possible stash, moving as silently as a cat.
The commodore frowned, opened his eyes and decided not to interfere for now. It was better to wait for the situation to unfold itself. Either way, he could not be bothered to walk back to his quarters now. He had to wait for the commandos he was still expecting to turn up for the mission.
Alec caught up with Jo on her way to the shuttle.
“Captain!” He ran up to her and grabbed her arm. “I’d like to volunteer for the rescue mission.”
Jo studied him, surprised by his outburst. She vaguely remembered he was going to become a father soon. This was hardly the time for him to go on such a perilous mission.
“Denied,” she answered firmly and this time it was Alec who could not hide his surprise.
“Why?”
“Because your wife is going in labour any moment now.” She stressed the last words.