Don't Close Your Eyes (2 page)

"Maybe another time?" she offered as though she were trying to ease the disappointment that was busy lancing through my previously dormant heart.  Her already prominent eyes took on a new look altogether.  So big, so innocent, so angelic, almost pleading!  This woman had a weapon of her own in that look alone, damn it! 
Was she using it on purpose?  To make me a blasted slave to her?
  Apparently it was working because I was ready to give her whatever the hell she wanted of me with that look, ready to pledge fealty to her from my
knees
. 

I clenched my jaw as I tried to swallow this feeling while giving a speechless nod.  I couldn't speak through this.  It was too much.  How was I to deal with the fact that I wanted someone so badly for the first time?  That she made me feel at all?  That I wanted her light for my own? 

Sweet Remission, do not leave me!

Leave me, she did.  She stepped off the elevator, and I had no choice but to move so I could look at her fully as she departed my presence, tugging me by that invisible line she still held. 

Mine. 

It was a single word that hung in my presently hollow mind as I watched her pretty, polka-dotted dress sway softly with her hips as she walked, her heels enhancing her amazing calves;
hell, she had great legs for being so petite.
She cast a beseeching glance over her shoulder at me, and her expression was no longer light.  I could practically
hear
her beckoning me to follow after her. 
Go after her!  Move, damn it! 
I couldn't, though!  I was stuck!!! 
Shit, how do I proceed?!
Come back to me, Love.  Come help me to follow you! 

Instead, she gave me a wistful smile, and I felt like there was no way that the desperation I felt was not showing on my own face as the doors closed and my opportunity was lost. 

Lost. 

I’d lost. 

Me. 

I didn’t lose anything, however,
I’d just lost at something.
 

I’d never had an addiction to anything in my entire life, but I had never felt more sober than this moment, as though I’d slammed into the hard ground of reality and couldn’t shake its cruel, lingering pain in the absence of what was a blissful high.

“Shit, shit,
shit
!!!!  You nesh bitch!!  Where the hell were your balls, you friggin’ pussy?!”  I let my head fall against the doors in desperate disappointment. 
What floor had she gotten off on?!  I needed to go back to it now!!!  I need her!
 

The elevator stopped at my floor, and I wished to God I had been watching that damn counter so I could have tried narrowing it down. 
What had it said when she had looked at it? 
Twenty something...?

Oh, God!  What have I done?

I’d just allowed the only woman who ever sparked that kind of longing within me walk away from me!  I had been so lost in my own thoughts of what I would like to do to her, that I hadn't even had the sense to ask her bloody name?!  "Well, it was a good thing you managed to ask her to a lunch that you had already eaten instead, you fuck up..."  

I gave curt nods in response to all the pleasantries that were given as I made my way to my office.  I was angry as hell now.  I wanted to shove shit off of the desks I passed and throw a postal fit. 
Why had I killed both of those guys last night?  How I wished I could kill tonight!  I need that girl!  I need that light!  Focus, King.  Hunt her down.
  Should I go back to the first floor and wait to see where she goes?  Who her father is?  Was she leaving with him for lunch, or were they ordering in?  Ask around the building?  A redhead with features like that one had were bound to be memorable to someone.  Where did I begin?  Damn, wait a bleeding minute!  This wasn't hunting, this was all out
stalking
!  What the hell kind of wanker was I already being reduced to in the name of a woman I hadn't a bloody clue about?  But that was the problem, wasn’t it?  I knew everything about anyone I wanted.  I wanted to know everything about her.

I ignored Abigail as she proceeded to try and give me the messages that had been left for me over my lunch break.  "Not now, Abby!"  She cringed with a flush to her pretty face and walked away in a bit of defeat.  Poor woman, I would have to apologize and calm her down later.  I couldn't deal with that shit now.   

There was a knock on the door frame of my office, and that cunt, April, poked her head in with a dirty smirk at my expression.  She sauntered in wearing a very sexy black dress no woman with professional integrity should ever wear to the office.  Normally, I may have subtly skimmed her figure, right now I wanted to put her on my hit list because I was so pissed off.  

"Klive, what's the matter, dear?  Anything I can do to calm you down?" she purred suggestively and snickered as I shot her a look that told her to fuck off.  It seemed to only make her want me more.  Go figure.  Didn’t matter that I was ready for launch, I was never a desperate man, and I was definitely not this desperate. 

I waved that skank away and and locked my office door after that.  If she wasn't so valuable, I'd have fired her on the spot for her shit.  Especially right now!  How could I ever look at another woman when that innocent had clouded every damn area of my brain to make me feel such sharp conviction at the mere idea?  Ugh!  I speared my fingers through my perfect hair, for once not giving a shit if I messed it up.  I was so bloody screwed if I couldn’t find her.  Probably because the prospect of screwing suddenly wasn’t so appealing if fiery hair, tanned skin, innocent green eyes, and the voice of a phone sex operator weren’t a part of the package.  I put away the idea of how relieving it would be to unload inside of her and pulled my phone to my ear. 

"Chris, contact the security department of my building.  Get the surveillance tapes for the elevators for today from between eleven and two o'clock.  If you could outright hack the system and watch for a redhead in a pink, polka-dotted dress, pony tail, white bow and heels, that would be even better," I told my PI.  Barked would be a far more apt description.  I worked to calm my tone.

"Everything alright, Boss?  Something complicate one of your hits, or is she a new target?  Let me know, I'm your man.  Whatever you need," he told me efficiently, a hint of his French accent coming through.

"Chris, come now, have you ever known me to cock up a hit?"  I felt bad.  I knew my attitude wasn't exactly the best in this moment, but Chris knew better.  It wasn't as though I were the nicest guy outside this building anyway.  "This is personal.  Not Nightshade bullshit.  Track her down.  I want info.  I want her schedule, her job, her address, her bloody name for fuck's sake,
all of it
!"  Alright, I may have escalated pretty quickly on that last bit...

He cleared his throat, in a bit of shock, I think.  I sighed and waited with a roll of my eyes.  "Alright, Boss, I'm on it.  I'll be in touch this evening with anything I come up with by th-"

"You get me the shit I want, I will give you one hell of a bonus," I emphasized.  "You know I'm good for it."  He whistled, and I could practically hear the bloody grin on his face.

"Sounds like your
own
number is up, then, Boss?" he chuckled.  "This is just rich, can't wait to see what this girl must look like to have earned his majesty's attention," he said in amusement.  I clenched my jaw in irritation.  I think we can all agree that there is a certain bit of courage we allow ourselves on a telephone that we may not possess were we speaking face-to-face, correct?  Chris was mighty courageous.

"Chris..."

"Sorry, couldn't resist.  I'm on it."  He had no real reason to fear me as we were too close, but it didn’t change the fact that I was one dick you didn’t want to piss off.  The fact that I could still hear the smile in his tone had me fighting one of my own. 

I hung up and walked to the windows, looking down at the ant-like people milling around below on their lunch breaks.  Was she down there now?  Was she only so many floors below me?  Wherever she was, whoever she was, I hoped that I would know by tonight.  Patience would just have to be the order of the day, and it was all I could do to wait until then.

CHAPTER 1

             
Nearly Two Years Later

I sighed in complete exasperation.  I hated dealing with any kind of shit on my Sunday mornings.  Sundays were mine.  The day for simply holding to any shred of humanity I might still have left since this bullshit with Nightshade had completely overtaken my bloody life.  It didn't used to be like this in the beginning.  Hell, this damn year was taking its toll on me, and I was finding it hard to be cordial anymore.  The hospital visits were the only thing keeping me from flipping out and losing it on this son of a bitch on the damn phone with me now.

"Ray, Tom tells me you fucked with one of the servers.  You fuck with one of them, you're fucking with me.  You know that.  Says she put in for a different shift so as not to be harassed anymore.  I will not tolerate shit that does not pertain to our actual business at hand, and I am not tolerant of your distraction when we are neck-deep in this damn deal!  You are not to go into the bar again without me or my strict permission, understood?!" I shouted into the phone.  I was hardened for sure.   I needed to see my sweet little Anabelle who was so soothing, keeping reality of the value of life at the forefront as she fought so bravely for her own.

I heard him sigh, and I knew he wanted to pop off, but he wisely kept his damn self in check.  "Yes, Boss.  No more."  Good minion.  Still didn’t feel good enough, though.

"I mean it, Ray, you keep your damn dick in your pants, otherwise I might just have to cut that shit off when I straighten your ass out if it happens again," I told him, and I heard his choked cough as he knew I meant every bloody word.  I didn’t make empty threats.  It was a widely known fact about Mr. King.  I ran my finger along my lower lip in thought.  "Eh, maybe I will let you keep that and take your balls instead.  After all, only a man with no balls gets off on harassing a woman the way Tom claims you did, enough of this shit.  You are dismissed.  Do not make me get involved, you prick.  I mean it." 

I sat back in my dining room chair and rested my feet in the one across from me as I clenched my jaw in irritation.  My back hurt from my bone marrow recovery, and I shouldn't be doing any of the hard shit for at least two more weeks.  My damn coffee would probably be cold by the time he had the balls to answer me, still I waited... my eyes narrowing, my finger moving about my lip as I kept my whole body in check even as I was ready to explode. 

"Alright!  Yes, Klive!  Shit..." he pushed foolishly.  I lifted my finger from my lip and snapped them with a smug smile.

"Perfect, I will be sending my guys to pick you up and bring you over so I can remove one for the tone you so foolishly took with me."  I hung up on him and pushed both hands through my hair in complete frustration before sending a text to my muscle.  I bet Ray was looking for a quick escape about now if he knew what the hell was good for him.  Stupid!  We were so close!  I only needed him through April, if I could just hold off on killing him until then it would be a bloody miracle.  That asshole had gone from being my valuable second hand man to a complete pain in my ass as he let the "power" go to his head in his standing with me.  Cocky and arrogant in his threats.  Normally I was fine with that when it came to the shit that got in our way or just getting the job done in general.  This?  No, this was not alright.  He was developing into a bloody monster if he thought it was in any way alright to fuck with a woman that way.  It made me uncomfortable, especially where he was concerned considering the ways I'd seen him treat a whore.  Always pushing that envelope just a little further than I was comfortable with.  I didn't want to know what that sick asshole might be capable of...

I went ahead and called Joey to be ready to move into Ray's position for the moment I was done with his skanky shit.  After all, maybe I’d end up killing him instead if I felt the situation merited such action?  That poor girl.  At the bar, no less.  Ray could only have a death wish.  What else could it be? 

Naturally, Joey got onto me for taking this on when I was still recovering.  He volunteered to do the dirty work while I called the shots.  I agreed it was smarter.  Joey wasn’t Nightshade, but I still looked at him as a lieutenant of sorts.  He was my bodyguard, a trained hitman by none other than yours truly, and above all, one of the few men I allowed myself to be close enough to that I called a friend.  I didn’t make many of those in the line of business I was in outside of the office.  I was far better at making frienemies in the underground.  They all served their purpose, and in return, I allowed them to keep their lives and say they were on good terms with me so as to improve their clout and standing when it came to underground hierarchy.  My surname might just give you a hint at where I was in my own ranking.  You didn’t make me your enemy, and those who did didn’t last long enough to hold a grudge.

Maybe I would still be able to salvage this day if we could straighten Ray out quickly enough.  Should I cut one of his balls off this time, or should I just give him one hell of a beating that he may not forget?  I flipped open the velvet ring box to examine the ring I had bought for Anabelle, and a glimpse of my heart came through.  I sighed heavily again, resigning to leave his balls intact this time.  The extra bloodshed would only take my time away from her, and it was bad enough that this was already going to bleed into that time as it was.  Sunday is
my
damn day off for goodness sakes!  Is nothing sacred?! 

My phone rang just as I was getting up to make a fresh cup of coffee, and I relaxed when I saw that it was Chris, who also happened to be Joey’s real boss, by the way.  "Hey!  What's up, Chris?" I smiled automatically. 

"How much do you love me?" he asked, and I could hear the grin in his triumphant tone.  Hmmm.... what the hell could he be so chipper about, especially this early on a weekend...