First and Only: Callaghan Brothers, Book 2 (7 page)

Lexi stole glances at him throughout the service, he was sure of it, thanking God each time he felt the familiar prickling on the back of his neck.  It meant – well, he wasn’t sure what it meant exactly, but at least she was still looking; she wasn’t ignoring him completely. 

Other than a slight inclination of her head out of sheer politeness, she had not openly acknowledged his presence.  Each time he had glanced at her – and the times he had probably numbered in the hundreds over the course of the afternoon – she’d been looking elsewhere.  If she had any reaction at all to seeing him with Kayla, she didn’t show it.  She stayed in the back, out of the limelight, letting Kayla and her mother play center stage throughout the service.  He noted that she remained alone in the pew when the rest of them went up for Communion, looking even lonelier than he felt.

“Thanks, Uncle Jack,” he heard her say after the Mass as they waited for the casket to be placed in the hearse, “but I really don’t think it’s a good idea.  I would just like to go back to my hotel.”  Ian managed to get within hearing distance while Kayla “composed herself” in the ladies room, though as far as he could tell, she hadn’t shed a single tear.

“This is not a time to be alone, Alexis,” Jack said kindly, but firmly.  “You belong with family, lass.”

“I don’t want any trouble.”  Lexi scanned the crowd, no doubt looking for Kayla.  She took a half-step back, instinctively seeking the shadows of a marble column.  Ian doubted she even realized she did it; hiding came naturally to her, and for some reason, that pissed him off.

“Of course you’re coming,” Kieran said adamantly, and for once, Ian agreed with him.  Ian guessed that they were speaking of the gathering immediately following the burial.  They would be holding the traditional Irish wake at the Pub.  It would be an opportunity for the friends and family of Brian O’Connell to informally panegyrize him, to remember and eulogize and say their final farewells while sharing drink and song in his memory; a celebration of his life, laced in grief but more so in fondness, and hopefully one that would remind Lexi of better times and of the fine man that had sired her. 

As a bonus – albeit a selfish one on his part, perhaps - Ian also believed that anything that put him in the same physical location with her was a great idea.  It would sure make it a hell of a lot easier than tracking her down later.  Plus, he could keep an eye on her.  Yes, his father and brothers seemed to be doing a great job of it, but she was looking smaller today.  More fragile.  And Ian felt somewhat responsible for that.

* * *

L
exi felt Ian’s eyes on her again.  His expression gave nothing away, but his crystal blue eyes were as intense as she’d ever seen them.  Was he angry at her deception?  Disgusted?  Ashamed? 

Other than the looks he was shooting her way, he hadn’t spoken a word to her, nor had he given any indication that he wanted to.  Lexi wouldn’t have traded last night for anything, but she wished she could spare him the awkwardness now.

“He was your dad, Lex,” Kieran was saying, his voice filled with compassion.  “You have more reason to be there than anyone.” 

Lexi’s breaking heart swelled.  Kieran had always been her friend, her champion.  She knew her abrupt departure all those years ago must have hurt him deeply, but, amazing man that he was, he didn’t seem to harbor any resentment.  He had been at her side all morning, offering his quiet support.  Still her big brother, even after everything that had happened.

Lexi shook her head.  Kieran meant well, but Kayla and her step-mother had been shooting daggers at her all afternoon.  While she didn’t care in the least what either woman thought of her, she would not dishonor her father’s memory by causing a scene.  It was her love for her father that had her leaving all those years ago in the first place.

“I shouldn’t have come.  This was a mistake.” 

“Don’t let them get to you, Lex,” Kieran said.  “Patricia won’t dare say anything around Dad, and Ian will keep Kayla occupied.” 

Hearing her stepsister’s name paired with Ian’s opened up old wounds that had never completely healed; visions of Ian and Kayla all those years ago.  She fought to keep it under the surface where it belonged, her face betraying none of the pain she felt. 

“They’re still together, huh?” she said casually, but Ian heard the hollowness.

Kieran shrugged, his voice laced with disapproval when he said, “You know Ian.”

Yeah, she thought sadly, she did.  She knew now what it was like to be held in his arms, loved by his body, brought to the heights of passion repeatedly and in such varied and creative ways.  How could she ever fault Kayla – or any other woman for that matter – for doing everything she could to hold on to that?

The moment of silence that followed was heavy.  Against her better judgment, she sought Ian out, finding him standing in the shadows of the little alcove.  Her eyes locked onto his. 

Forgive me, Ian
, she begged silently.

Kieran followed her gaze, his eyes narrowing.  “Is that why you don’t want to come, Lex?  Because of Ian?”

Of course Kieran would think that.  Even as kids he had sensed her feelings for his older brother.  He’d never embarrassed her by coming right out and saying anything, but he’d dropped enough hints, warning her away in his attempts to spare her a broken heart.  Too bad she couldn’t have listened. 

Though Kieran’s voice was tender as he spoke to her, his eyes blazed at Ian.  He was still her protector.  Thank God he had no knowledge of what she and Ian had done last night; if he had, she would probably be mourning Ian’s death right along with her father’s.

Before she could answer, Kayla chose that moment to emerge and demand Ian’s attention. 

“Ian!  Let’s go, already.”  Kayla’s voice rose over the respectful, muted conversations of those exiting the church.  When Ian hesitated, Kayla followed his eyes, landing on her with barely concealed hate.  Kayla pressed her body up against his side in a clearly possessive move.  Ian clenched his jaw, but he didn’t stop her.  That told Lexi everything she needed to know.

Lexi lowered her eyes, accepting it for what it was.  She had known the previous night was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and had been mentally preparing herself for the stark reality of the morning after.  Admittedly, she hadn’t foreseen Kayla’s blatant posturing, but that was her own fault, and ultimately, it changed nothing.

With one last lethal glance Ian’s way, Kieran slipped his arm around her protectively and guided her toward the exit. 

* * *

I
an stepped away from Kayla, refusing to meet her eyes.  If he did – if he saw the malice and cruelty he instinctively knew were there – he wasn’t sure he could maintain this little charade.  He was doing this for his father, no one else.  Reluctantly, Ian led Kayla out to the black Lincoln that would take them to the cemetery, then back to the Pub.

If there was a hell on earth, Ian was in it.  Several hours later, Kayla was drinking too much, getting louder and growing more obnoxious by the moment.  Every time he tried to slip away she pulled him back again.  If she made one more blatant reference to the need to be comforted, he was going to be physically ill.  Thankfully, most of the crowd had left, and only family and a few close friends were still around to witness it. 

“Rough night, huh bro?” asked Jake, slipping him another beer.  Kayla, satisfied that Ian was within grasping distance, turned to speak to someone else, giving him a few minutes of peace. 
Thank God
. 

“You could say that,” Ian admitted, raising the bottle to his lips and downing half of it in one swallow.  “Throw a shot in there, would you?”

Jake raised an eyebrow but wisely said nothing, tipping the bottle of Connemara over his glass.  “Not as bad as she has it, though,” Jake said, nodding toward where Lexi was sequestered in the back of the room.  Ian could think of nothing to say, so he remained silent.

“Do you remember her?” Jake prodded.

“Sort of.”  But the image Ian had in his mind of that young girl was nothing like the goddess he was stealing glances at now.  The one surrounded by his family but looking so lost among them.  He remembered a skinny, shy creature who always seemed to get lost in his brother’s shadow, a wisp of a thing of whom Kieran was insanely protective.  Definitely not the beautiful, sexy, curvaceous embodiment of his every fantasy come to life.  Fantasies he now knew without a doubt were absolutely true. 

There was no indication of her wild passion now.  Her hair was pulled back so that only the closest examination would have shown the streaks of vibrant colors.  Her dress was simple, classic; dark but not black.  No hat, no veil, no jewelry.  Lexi wasn’t here for show.  If anything she was embarrassed by their attention.  And in her face, Ian saw true grief at the loss of her father.

“You should,” Jake said, with enough admonishment in his voice to make Ian turn to him.

“Yeah?  And why is that?”

Jake gave him a knowing smile, but it wasn’t a friendly one.  “She had it bad for you, bro.  Used to drive the rest of us nuts.  Especially Kieran.”

Ian blinked, the only indication of his total bafflement.  “She did?”

“Oh, hell yes,” Jake said.  “Until the night she caught you and Kayla together, anyway.”

Vague, hazy memories appeared in Ian’s mind.  He was supposed to pick Kieran and Lexi up after a basketball game, a condition of getting use of the family car for the night.  But Kayla had other plans for the car.  She’d gone down on him while they waited in the parking lot.  Thinking about it now, it seemed odd that she’d waited until she saw them coming out to do it.  But he’d been seventeen then.  He didn’t question an offer of head.

He still remembered the look on Lexi’s face when she’d seen them, could still hear Kieran’s curses ringing in his mind.  Lexi had taken off running, Kieran tearing after her.  Ian hadn’t understood then, but he did now.  He’d bet anything that Kayla had known about Lexi’s crush, and had gone out of her way to hurt her.

Ian put his beer down and straightened, his eyes fixed on the far side of the bar.  This had gone far enough.  He’d done what he’d been asked to do.  He needed to talk to Lexi. 
Now
.

“Don’t even think about it,” Jake breathed in his ear.  Jake had a knack for knowing what Ian was going to do before he did.  It was a bit scary sometimes.  “And get Kayla out of here before she causes another scene.”

Why was Kayla suddenly his responsibility, Ian wanted to know?  But he already knew why.  Because no one else wanted to deal with her.  At one time, Jake had been the one to handle Kayla, but not even he wanted to risk the wrath of his new bride. 

On the plus side, the sooner he got Kayla out of there, the sooner he could figure out how to get Lexi alone for a few minutes.  His entire body tingled at the thought.

He grabbed his suit coat, reached for the keys, and turned to tell Kayla it was time to go.  Except that Kayla was no longer where he’d left her.  His stomach dropped when he saw her teetering over to where Lexi sat.

“Well, well, well,” Kayla said, her voice carrying clearly throughout the bar.  “If it isn’t the little princess herself.  Broke her daddy’s heart and then comes back to get her greedy little hands on her inheritance.  Well you’re not getting anything, sweetheart, you hear me?”

The bar grew silent, and all eyes turned in her direction.  The tension in the room increased tenfold; Ian saw his brothers stiffen.  Thankfully, Jack had left a bit earlier to drive Patricia home and wasn’t there to witness Kayla’s latest scene.

Lexi kept her face neutral, but Ian could see the flames in her eyes.  Could
feel
how much Kayla’s words were hurting her.  He’d never been able to do that with anyone other than his brothers before, so that unexpected and intimate connection shook him a little.

Kieran shifted, positioning his body in front of Lexi’s.  Shane stood slowly, catching Jake’s eye across the bar, but Lexi put her hand on his arm, stopping him from going any farther. 

She looked so beautiful, Ian thought.  The picture of class and composure, even in grief. 

“I don’t want anything, Kayla,” she said, her voice calm and even, though weary.

“The hell you don’t,” Kayla sneered.  “But then again,
I
got what you really wanted, didn’t I?”  She shot a look back at Ian, her smile laced with more cruelty than he’d ever seen.  She might have been pretty once, but her spitefulness made her ugly.

For the third time that day, Lexi’s eyes met Ian’s.  In that moment, he would have given anything to change things, to take away the hurt he saw in her eyes.  To hold her in his arms and feel the wonder of her heart beating against his.  And it had nothing to do with sex.   

But he couldn’t.  Damn it all, he couldn’t.  Not here.  Not now.  Not in front of his family.  He’d embarrass Lexi, and that was the last thing she needed.

“For Christ’s sake, get her the fuck out of here,” Jake hissed in his ear.

The only thing Ian could do was put a stop to the flow of vile things still spewing from Kayla’s mouth, so he would.  He crossed the floor.  “Time to go, Kayla,” he said, hating what he was forced to do.

“See, princess?” Kayla taunted as she wrapped herself around Ian.  “He still wants
me
.” 

Ian had never wanted to strike a woman as badly as he did then, but his father had raised him better than that.  Instead, he removed her hands and propelled her toward the door.  But the look on Lexi’s face was burned into his mind forever.  The hurt, the betrayal in her eyes seared his heart. 

It was the second time in his life she had given him that look.  He would not survive a third.

“S
tay with me,” Kayla pouted as she tried to pull Ian into her house.  “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

He’d gotten her safely to her door, but that was as far as he was going.  Ian peeled her hands off of him.  “No, Kayla.”   

“It’s her, isn’t it?” she spat, her eyes narrowed to slits.  “Little Miss Perfect.  You feel sorry for her, just like everyone else.”