Authors: Michele G Miller
"Sorry, I haven't."
"Well I’ll be sure to bring him by to say hi to you when he reappears."
I smiled tightly at her as my father pulled me away, already engrossed in a conversation with Gage. He held his arm out for me with a smile, and I gratefully placed my hand on his forearm; gaining strength from his.
It didn't take long for me to spot Daniel in the crowd. He was standing close to one of the open bars with a group of guys I recognized from high school. They were laughing at a story a tall red head was telling animatedly.
"Will you excuse me for a moment?" I asked Gage quietly as he stood listening to a few of my father’s friends debate the merits of a particular golf club.
"Sure. You alright?"
I nodded my head towards the groom. "Closure."
Gage's eyes narrowed as he took in the group of younger men where Daniel stood. Surely he was trying to determine which one could possibly be the ex that had hurt me so badly.
"I'll be right here waiting." He smiled and leaned down to kiss my temple sweetly.
At that same moment, several of the overly loud gentlemen standing with us burst out in what could only be called a chorus of guffaws. As I stepped away from Gage I noted Daniel looking directly at me; his attention obviously drawn to the noise.
Meeting his eyes, I held my head up high and slowly but purposefully made my way across the room. Several of his friends took note of me making my way over when Daniel didn't reply to them.
"Dude, is that Savannah Guthry I see coming our way?" blustered a slightly paunchy Blake Silver. Blake had been on the soccer team with Daniel in high school, and graduated the same year as me. "Holy shit, it
is
Savannah." His jaw dropped as he took me in from head to toe.
He took a few steps forward and met me with a giant bear hug. "Girl, I haven't seen you since… that party we had before we started college. You look amazing."
"You too, Blake," I laughed, hugging him back.
"Please tell me you're here without a date."
I pulled from his embrace and met Daniel's gaze again. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm here with someone. I can't believe you're still single, though."
As if that was his cue, Daniel stepped up smirking. "Not Blake-the-date Silver. He's never single. Savannah, it's good to see you."
We both stood there in that awkward place.
"It's good to see you too," I finally admitted; looking him over. He looked as handsome as ever. His face was more mature, and his normally messy blond hair was cut shorter, neater. "Can we talk for a minute, in private?"
Daniel glanced around the room and then whispered something to Blake before pointing me towards a set of French doors to the left that led out to the balcony.
I stepped out into the oppressive June heat and walked around the corner, away from the view of the doors and any prying eyes.
A moment later Daniel followed behind me, glancing around like a guilty teenager as he spoke. "I asked Blake to keep an eye on Mary Anne."
For one delicious moment I thought about how nice it would feel to slap him across the face for the mistake of a night we’d had sex. It was a brief moment filled with hurt and anger, and as quickly as it came it was gone.
Daniel's eyes looked me over as he spoke. "You look great. Nashville obviously agrees with you."
"Thank you. You look good too, as does Mary Anne. I'm happy for you both."
"You are?" He stepped closer, and I smelled the alcohol on his breath as I took a step back.
"Well of course. Why wouldn't I be?" He gave me an incredulous look and I modified my statement. "Well, I mean I guess I can understand why you’d think I wouldn't be, but that's actually why I wanted to talk to you. I wanted us to have some closure."
His hand reached out and skimmed my bare arm. "What kind of closure are you talking about?"
"Daniel, you're marrying my cousin in two days."
"And?"
"
And?
" I asked incredulously. "Are you serious? Why are you marrying her if it means
nothing
?"
"Grow up, Savannah," he mocked; his face cynical. "You know who we are and where we come from. Our parents have been planning for an alignment between our families since we were in grade school. Besides, half this country club should have pineapples hanging over their doors."
"You've
got
to be kidding me," I growled. His pineapple comment, the urban legend signifying swingers, made me want to throw up. "When did you become this guy, Daniel?"
He shrugged. "Probably around the time I caught my dad screwing the maid, honey." He said it so nonchalantly, like he really couldn’t have cared less.
"Does Mary Anne know about us?"
"Us? No, I wouldn't do that to your family. But don't think I don't know about the times she’s screwed the tennis pro. She does her thing and I do mine. We’re both good with that."
"I can't believe you. You know what? Thank you. I've got my closure now. You're not half the man I thought you were, and I hope you're both happy with each other."
"Go ahead and judge me, Savannah. But your holier-than-thou attitude isn't going to change the way things go around here." He leaned in closer and my back hit the stone wall. "You know you still want me, Savannah. I see it in your eyes. I'll be right here when you're ready."
My jaw dropped and I raised my hand quickly and without thought; slapping him across his cheek. His head snapped to the side and he cursed; his eyes black beads of anger.
"I'm going to guess that you deserved that, and ask that you step away from her before I have to intervene." Gage's angry voice caused us both to jump.
"Do you even love her at all?" I snapped, straightening and pushing his chest.
"Sure I love her. I wouldn't be marrying her if I didn't. But love and sex are two different things, Savannah."
"Like hell they are. Don't screw around on her Daniel, or I’ll make sure your life is a living hell." I said it out of an intense loyalty to my family. Suddenly, the mere thought of having Daniel weasel himself into my family made me sick.
"Mary Anne certainly didn't mind hurting you when she screwed me into breaking up with you, so why would you care about
her
?"
Tears of fury and embarrassment sprang to my eyes as I absorbed what he said.
"Step back, mate," growled Gage under his breath, and he took a menacing step forward. "Get the hell out of here before I decide to have a little chat with the Guthrys about you."
"Hey man, chill. The Guthrys need me right now, dude. Tell him Savannah. Who’s going to run GW in a few years, huh? There aren’t any sons in the family line, and you know damn well that Mary Anne has no sense and you've all but run away from it."
My brows knit in confusion as Daniel continued, "Like I said, your family has been angling to add me to the family charts for years. I'm just not marrying the daughter they expected me to."
"You won't get your hands in GW, Daniel - I can tell you that right now. You can be sure of it."
"Really? And how is that? You're a country club debutante who’s trained at doing nothing but looking pretty and satisfying your man in bed."
I grabbed Gage's arm when I saw his fists clench. Realizing that he'd gone too far, Daniel raised his arms and swept around us both; keeping his attention glued to Gage. "She's all yours, man. Besides, I've been there, done that." He slid swiftly back through the door before Gage could react.
"What the hell was that?" He turned to me and I could see the anger drip off of him as he clenched his jaw like he was trying to forcibly hold his tongue.
I leaned against the stone, my body in complete shock at the tumultuous confrontation with Daniel.
"That was
high society
," I said sarcastically. "I'm truly…speechless right now. I just…" I trailed off. I honestly didn't know what to do. How could I just stand by idly and let him marry into my family? Why should I care? The one thing I knew for sure was that I would do
anything
to keep him out of Guthry Whiskey.
Looking at Gage standing there, his hands now stuffed in his pockets, his face solemn, I made a decision. "You want to get out of here?"
"I'd go anywhere with you - you know that."
I held out my hand and pulled him towards the outdoor staircase so we wouldn't have to go back inside to the party.
"I'll take that as a yes, then." I flashed him a grateful smile and we headed off into the sultry Charleston night.
Sitting on a bench along the water thirty minutes later, I leaned against Gage's shoulder and sighed in comfort as his arm held me tight.
"Do you think sex and love are two different things?" I asked absentmindedly, glad for the cover of night so he couldn't see the pink stain on my face.
He tensed at the question. "Savannah, he was only trying to hurt you."
"Yeah, I know."
"Okay then sweetheart, why ask me that? It's not exactly a black and white answer."
I pulled out of his arm and looked up at him. The moon and nearby light post provided some light, but for the most part his face was cloaked in shadows. I stared at him and tried to think of what to say.
"Come on, Savannah. You're asking if I think sex and love are the same thing. I can't tell you that I haven't had sex without love."
"God - that was really stupid of me. I'm sorry Gage, I shouldn't have asked you that. Of course people have sex all the time without love. It's just the way he said it, you know?"
He turned and placed his hand along my face, his thumb rubbing my jawline. "He was wrong, Savannah. A lot of people have it wrong in this world, and I can't speak for them. But I can tell you what I want and what I feel."
"What's that?" I breathed, letting his hand pull my face closer to his.
"The truth is I don't think he
knows
what love is. If he did and he was really in love, then he would be content. I would never marry someone if I didn't want them to be the one person for me, for the rest of my life. I want love and I want sex with one woman forever. The past - the meaningless sex - would never be enough for me again."
I smiled into his palm and kissed it. "Good answer."
Friday - June 14, 2013
Let's Skip It
I woke up Friday morning with a pounding headache. Seeing my mother in the kitchen when I finally made an appearance after a hot shower did not help it.
"I was quite disappointed and embarrassed to find that you two ran off early last night, Savannah. How could you be so rude?"
"Oh, mother. Nobody even cared that I wasn't there."
"Of course they did dear. Would you believe that Honey Jenson had the
nerve
to suggest you left because you were jealous? After all these years."
"And you care what a woman who calls herself ‘Honey’ thinks, why?" I grabbed a mug and placed it under the espresso machine.
"For heaven’s sake, Savannah. Don't you even care what others think anymore? Where is the girl I raised?" She flipped her brown hair agitatedly and stomped out of the kitchen; her heels echoing on the wooden floors as she walked away.
I sat at the kitchen bar and thought about the day to come. I was expected to have afternoon tea with family and the bridal party at one, and every last nerve in my body screamed
NO!
at the mere thought of it.
My father invited Gage to go to the driving range for the morning and then have lunch at the club, and I wondered how his day was going. I didn't have a clue if he even knew how to golf, but when my dad asked, Gage said yes immediately and seemed excited at the prospect.
As I sat and sipped my steaming espresso, I wished wholeheartedly that I could have just gone golfing with the guys instead of being forced to attend this tea. Gage had talked me down from most of my anger with Mary Anne the night before while we sat by the river. I was extremely hurt by Daniel's insinuation that he and Mary Anne slept together while we were a couple. I wasn't even sure if I could believe him. Gage made me realize that whatever happened back then didn't really matter anymore. I was done with worrying about Daniel Livingston, and after tomorrow Mary Anne would have to put up with him.
I checked the time and rushed to get ready before my mother had cause to complain. I would go to the tea, smile and make nice, and then come home to Gage. Pulling my dark hair into a fancy ponytail, I slipped on my pastel pink and white striped sheath dress. I kept my makeup light and fresh and grabbed some pastel aqua heels to complete the look. My outfit made me feel soft and light when I met my mother in the living room.
The tea ended up being a good deal larger than I expected. Luckily the bridal party was seated at a head table, while the rest of the family and friends were scattered about the room. In a seating arrangement gift from the Heavens, I was placed at a table with a few girls from Mary Anne's sorority and Wendy, one of our mutual high school friends.