Sanctity (14 page)

She was, as far as I knew, my only living
relative.  I believed that my parents had died in a car crash
and that I was with them when it happened.  At first I tried
to mourn them but no matter how hard I struggled and strived I
couldn’t seem to remember them at all.  Margaret said the
doctor’s thought that I may have had some head trauma and that it
could have affected some of my long-term memories.  I hated
not knowing but sometimes I thought that not remembering was
actually a huge blessing and that it was sparing me from the
overwhelming grief I was sure I would have felt if I had known how
much I had lost.

Eventually it began to matter less and less
especially since Margaret was always there for me.  We were
open and honest with one another and I kept very little from her,
in fact I told her just about everything. 

It wasn’t until I was nearly 17 and in my
junior year of high school that I did one of the first deceitful
things to Margaret that I could remember.  It was during my
spring vacation; the Sunday before classes were scheduled to
resume.  I slept very late that day and after lounging in bed
for a few extra minutes I opened my bedroom door and was
immediately assaulted by Kaley.

“Good morning Baby,” I cooed.  I
reached down and patted her back and scratched her ears. 
Though her fur looked wiry and unkempt it was always very soft to
the touch.  She licked my face with her happy tongue and tried
to follow me as I trudged toward my bathroom.  When I got to
the doorway she attempted to charge in with me but I pointed to a
spot just outside the doorway.

“No, you know the rules,” I
chided. 

I told her to sit which she did somewhat
grudgingly, then she decided better of it and plopped down on her
belly.  She put her head on her paws and looked up at me with
a confused, yet devoted expression as I closed the door.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” I called.

She was exactly as I left her when I opened
the door but Kaley bounded to attention as soon as she saw
me.  I smiled at her and made my way along the hall to the top
of the stairs.  She ran ahead of me and did a bunny-hop all
the way down to the foyer.  I never understood how she managed
to get her massive hind legs to bounce in unison as she raced
toward the front door and I shook my head as I watched her plunge
down the stairs.

I slowly followed in Kaley’s wake and as I
got closer to the landing I could smell bacon frying and something
sweet and citrusy mingling with the scent.  I rounded the
stairs and strolled into the kitchen.

“Good morning Aunt Margaret.”

“Oh, good morning, Lily.  I thought
you’d never get up.  What time is it anyway?”

I looked at the clock and saw that it was
nearly 10 am, “I’m sorry I slept so late; is there anything I can
help with?”    

“No, I’m just about finished here.” 
Then she added concernedly, “How are you feeling, you’re not coming
down with anything are you?”

“I feel fine,” I shrugged as Margaret pulled
some orange cranberry scones from the oven. 

There was fresh fruit washed and ready to
eat lying just beside the cooling rack so I pulled up a stool and
began plucking some grapes off one of the clusters.  I popped
them in my mouth one at a time and after making a little gnash in
them with my teeth sucked a bit of their juice before chomping them
down.  Kaley was resting her head on my knee and looking
thoughtfully at me while I ate.  She tried to get me to toss
her one of the grapes but I spoiled her far too often and Margaret
was eyeing me suspiciously. 

“People food can be dangerous for dogs,” she
said, “has she been out yet?”  Margaret turned back to the
island and started putting together a nice breakfast for me.

“No, I’ll take her now, before I get too
distracted by those scones,” I widened my eyes in emphasis.

I grabbed Kaley’s leash from off the kitchen
table and headed toward the front door. 

“Make sure you pick-up after her if she
makes a mess.”

“Yes, Aunt Margaret,” I tried to check the
flippant tone that crept into my voice as I wandered down the
hallway.

Once we were outside Kaley became a new
dog.  I took her to obedience classes when she was a puppy
(Margaret insisted) and Kaley proved to be uncannily easy to
train.  She sat on the porch and waited for me as I latched
the front door.  She looked back over her shoulder and when I
nodded set off down the steps towards the driveway.  We walked
a few blocks away from the house, side by side.  When she
started sniffing off to the right of our path I knew it is time to
stop. 

She took care of business post haste and
after I managed to clean-up her affairs, she turned and we made our
way back home.  I hated that she always looked proud
afterward, like she had given me some great gift or reward but I
loved her unequivocally and was sure she felt the same.

I held up my trophy for Margaret as we got
back to the kitchen.  “Not the inside trash, Lily, put it in
the barrel in the garage.”

“Ugh!!  I just want to eat,” I moaned
as shuffled through the mudroom and into the garage.

When I finally got back to my breakfast I
found that it was thankfully still warm.  I crunched a piece
of bacon and started in on one of the scones.  It was
absolutely delicious.  Margaret didn’t make them often but
when she did they were impossible to resist.  She would scrape
fresh zest from some oranges and use whole cranberries; those were
frozen but if you bit into one after they were baked it would flood
your mouth with its sharp tartness.  Margaret also made it a
point to put a generous drizzle of buttercream icing on them while
they were still hot so it oozed all over the top and sides of the
scones giving them the perfect balance of sweet and
tangy. 

“Mmm,” I sighed as I took my first bite.

“Well, it’s Sunday, Lily, back to school
tomorrow.”

“Gee, thanks for reminding me,” I hung my
head over my breakfast.

“Do you have any plans for the day?” 
She asked me. 

Kaley was back at my knee, I slipped her a
little bacon and told her to sit.  I took up my breakfast
again and she stretched out at the foot of my stool.  I
absently stroked her side with the tip of my toe while I ate.

“No, I think I’ll just be a homebody
today.”

I finished up my breakfast and started
gathering the dirty dishes to stack in the dishwasher. 

“I can get those.”

“No, no, you cooked, I’ll clean.”

As I continued to clear away the dirty
dishes Margaret packed the remaining scones into an airtight
container.  She put them in the freezer and left me to finish
loading the dishwasher.  Since it was Sunday, I knew she was
going upstairs to collect the laundry from all the hampers. 
She would also gather the linens from each of our bedrooms and
replace them with fresh sets.

She had routines for almost every day of the
week and was very systematic in her approach to almost
everything.  She said that she liked to keep busy; that it
kept her mind sharp and gave her something to fill up what would
otherwise be empty days.  

Once I started the dishwasher I went
upstairs to help her get the laundry together.  Kaley trotted
along ever at my heels and followed me to my bedroom.  My
sheets were already piled outside the door and Kaley decided that
they made a nice nest.  After chasing her tail once or twice
she plopped down in the middle of them.  

“Hmm, so that’s the way it’s going to be,” I
said affectionately.  I let her be for the moment and headed
for the last door of my closet where my hamper was.  I dumped
it onto the floor and sorted through the various garments the way
Margaret had taught me.  I was shocked at how many outfits I
went through in just one week. 

“You must change a hundred times a day,”
Margaret was shaking her head and smiling at me from the doorway,
“how do you manage to accumulate such a mass of dirty laundry?”

I grinned sheepishly and gathered the first
of my piles.  Margaret had several baskets lined along the
wall outside my door.  One was for the linens and the others
for each of the different heaps I had just separated.  When I
was done loading the baskets I picked the one that looked the
lightest and handed it to Margaret.  I took a second basket
and ran it down to the laundry room.  I passed Margaret on the
stairs as I went back up for the third and fourth
baskets. 

“I’ll get the rest,” I said.  I wanted
to give her a respite from running up and down the stairs and knew
that she would just busy herself with putting the first cycle in
the washer. 

I always felt guilty when Margaret was doing
housework and though I wasn’t overly messy I decided that I should
spend a couple of minutes tidying up my room.  I tucked a few
things away, dusted and made my bed with the fresh sheets Margaret
had left for me.  While I was sorting my laundry earlier I
noticed a few bits of Kaley’s fur drifting about my room so once
everything else was nice and neat I got the vacuum and began
gliding it back and forth, back and forth over the carpet to pick
up her little tumbleweeds.

I was sure it was the first time I had ever
vacuumed since Margaret always seemed to get to it first and
decided that it was not all that unpleasant.  I made my way
around the bed and ducked the vacuum as far under as it would
go.  A moment later I heard a strange noise coming from
beneath the hood of the vacuum.  It sounded like something was
caught in the brush and was tumbling around in there.  I
turned off the vacuum and squatted down.  I flipped the head
over so I could see what I had managed to suck up.  After I
gave the brush a spin a dusty, red pocket knife fell onto the
carpet. 

“That’s odd,” I thought wondering where it
could have come from.  I picked it up and ran my finger along
the smooth surface.  A flash of memory attacked me; the image
of a man with mahogany hair and a pair of grey eyes that hinted at
the otherworldly, smiling at me.  It filled me with a heady
joy but the vision was short lived and vanished as quickly as it
came.

“I heard the vacuum,” Margaret was in the
doorway.

I jumped as I turned to look at her, “Oh,
yeah, just getting up some of Kaley’s tokens.”

“What have you got there?” Margaret
asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I replied, “Kaley must have
found it on one of our walks and managed to sneak it by me.” 
I held the knife out to Margaret. 

“Hmm,” she touched it warily.

“I’ll just throw it away.”  I quickly
folded my fingers around it before she could suggest an
alternative.  There was a small waste basket in the corner of
my room.  I stepped toward it, dropped the tiny blade and
watched as it clattered to the bottom of the barrel.

“Well, I was wondering if you would like to
go for a walk while we are waiting on the laundry.” 

I looked up and feeling as though I could
use some fresh air and sunshine I enthusiastically agreed to the
endeavor.  “Just let me put this away,” I patted the vacuum,
“and I’ll hurry and get ready.”

Margaret turned on her heel and headed
downstairs to wait for me.  I wound up the cord on the vacuum
and put it away.  Once I was back in my bedroom I closed the
door behind me and stepped directly toward the waste basket. 
I took the little knife out.  I grabbed a pair of socks from
one of my drawers and tucked the blade inside.  I opened the
drawer on the nightstand and pushed my treasure to the very
back.  Afterwards I closed and opened the drawer once or twice
to make sure that the bundle could not be seen and got ready for my
walk. 

I didn’t know why I couldn’t part with the
knife and I felt terrible at my duplicity for throwing it away only
to retrieve it and hide it from Margaret.  I couldn’t bear to
let it go though and tried not to think about it as I attempted to
compose my face so that my guilt wasn’t so clearly stamped into my
expression.

Kaley must have heard Margaret
say walk and she knew exactly what that meant.  She
was bounding down the hall and back with excitement at the prospect
of coming with us.  She did her bunny hop down the stairs and
sat to attention at the door.  She watched me over her
shoulder as I retrieved her leash from the kitchen table.  I
clicked it onto her collar and signaled to Margaret as she waited
for us in the family room that we were ready to go.

We walked along the cul-de-sac then turned
right at the end and headed toward the greenway that ran through
our development.  Neither one of us was talking.  I was
still lost in my guilt and Margaret seemed to have something on her
mind as well.  After about 15 minutes or so she nudged me and
let me know that she wanted to turn back. 

It was pretty cool out for that time of day
but comfortable.  I really thought I would enjoy the outdoors
but it wasn’t improving my spirits at all.  I tried to think
of something to talk about but nothing came to mind.

Margaret finally broke the ice, “I’m going
to miss you tomorrow.”

“I’m going to miss you too, Aunt
Margaret.  I wish I hadn’t slept so late,” I chuckled, “we
could have tried to catch a matinee or something.  What do you
think you will do tomorrow, have you thought at all about what you
will do all day?”

Margaret gave a little chuckle, “You mean
other than catch up on all the laundry you’ve been hoarding in your
room?”

“Yes, other than that,” I grinned.

Some of the dullness that had been clouding
our afternoon seemed to evaporate and we were soon talking and
walking as though it were any other day. 

“Let’s go out for dinner, I don’t feel much
like cooking tonight.”

“Pizza?” I suggested.

“Sure, why not?”  She shrugged.

We were home before long and I offered to
switch the first load to the dryer and start the next.  She
thanked me and said that she was going to take a little time to
relax and read in her room.  “Let me know when you start to
feel hungry and we’ll head out.”