Self Destruct (9 page)

Rebecca

“Come home with me,” Aide
n whispered seductively in my ear.  “But, the birth control isn’t effective after the first dose,” she stammered. 

“Becca, we don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.  I want you near me.  I need you in my arms tonight.  Hell, I need you in my arms every night.  I won’t push you, but remember there are other methods of birth control we can use if you change your mind.”

Was I going to change my mind?  He watched me closely as I thought it through. His sinfully full lips curled up mischievously.  His square jaw was shadowed with dark blonde stubble.  His deep blue eyes sparkled with anticipation, and love.  I felt loved when he brushed his fingers across my face, when I was folded in his arms, and when he kissed me.  I trusted him, I loved him, I wanted him, but was I ready?

“Yeah I’ll come home with you.  Let me go grab a fe
w things and I’ll be right back,” I answered.  I was scared.  I had always run away or sabotaged my relationships before they got this far.  But the idea of being without Aiden made me feel ill.

Aiden reached out and grabbed my fingers.  “Grab what you want to wear tomorrow to lunch with my parents.  I don’t want to have to be away from you tomorrow.”  I smiled at him, and squeezed his hand. 
I didn't want to be away from him either.

In my room I grabbed clean underwear and a matching bra.  I reached back into my closet and found a backpack and shoved them inside.  Then I found a cute tank top and a pair of short shorts to sleep in. 

A change of clothes went in next.  I took out a knee length green dress with a conservative neckline. It was modest, but it showed off my hourglass figure, and I still felt pretty wearing it.  I put a pair of nude colored heels in my bag.  I added my toiletry bag inside with my minimum make-up and hygiene products. 

Aiden took my bag, and slipped his other arm around my waist.  I could see him eyeing the dress I held in my other hand.  I batted my eyes playfully at him, and he swallowed hard. 

“You like?” I asked.  “How can a dress have so much material and still make me want to see it on you this bad?” he groaned.  “Just wait, it is way better on than you can imagine,” I tormented.  “I think this is going to be a very short lunch,” he muttered in his sexy growl.

Aiden and Jeremy’s house was different than I expected.  It wasn’t the typical bachelor pad with pizza boxes stacked all over.  It was clean, with dark leather furniture, and a few sport
s related decorations.  Even those were different than I expected.  There were no beer ads with sports figures, but there were black and white photos of athletes.  They were artistic and abstract. 

“Not what you expected?”
Aiden interrupted my thoughts. “No, but I should have,” I admitted.  His eyebrow rose up.  “It's just so put together.  You and Jeremy are both very confident.  I should have expected your home would reflect that.” 

“
Where is Jeremy by the way?”  I was wrapped up in Aiden all night, and I couldn’t remember anyone's plans for the rest of the night.  “He and Cameron decided to go play some pool.  They’ll probably end up back at Cameron’s hotel room.”  Aiden shrugged.  “So we are alone then,” I observed.

“Mmm, you have me all to yourself Red.  What are you going to do with me?”  I loved it when his voice went
all low and growly.  It made my stomach flip and my heart race.  “I suppose first I should let you continue the tour,” I said and trailed my finger down his chest.

Down the hall Aiden stood in the doorway to his room, and I walked in past him.  I sat down on his large bed, and kicked off my shoes.  “I like seeing you in my bed,” Aiden said in a low timbre.  He pushed away from the doorframe and stalked forward.

He sat next to me, and his restraint made me snap.  I grabbed his shirt and pulled him down on me.  “Kiss me,” I breathed out.  He brushed his lips across mine softly, gently, and chastely.  I flicked my tongue across his lower lip.  His eyes opened and he gazed deeply into my eyes.  “Are you sure? You have to tell me what you want.”

“You Aiden.  Only you.”  His smile promised love and
passion.  “You have me.  Even if I have to wait years to touch you I’m where I want to be.”  “I don’t want to wait years, a month, or weeks.  I don’t want to wait five more minutes.  Make love to me Aiden,” I demanded. 

Aiden kissed me again.  This time his hands tangled in my hair, stroked my skin, and tugged at my clothes.  Something clicked inside of me.  I locked my legs around his waist and flipped us over.  I straddled him and pulled my top over my head.  “Beautiful,” he whispered.  I tugged off his shirt next, and traced his muscles with my fingers.

He flipped us back over, and with little effort I found myself lying in only my underwear.  I reached for the button on his pants, and he stopped me.  “Not yet,” he groaned.  I gave him a confused look, and he smiled nervously. 

“I’m, uh, a little…excited.  I need the barrier until I know you are ready, to slow myself down.  I have to make sure you are rea
dy, otherwise it will hurt more,” he explained a little embarrassed.

“I love you,” I sighed.  His smile radiated happiness.  “I love you too.  I’m going to marry you when you graduate,” he
told me.  I kissed him. “When you ask I’m going to say yes.” 

With a flick of
his fingers he unhooked my bra.  I tossed it on the floor and heard him suck in a breath.  Aiden brushed his finger across my breast teasing my nipple. 

“Red,” his lip curved up devilishly, “I was right your nickname fits.”  I felt the blush burn across my exposed skin.  “Just like strawberries,” he moaned, and tormented me with his mouth.

He stroked and teased my skin until I was writhing underneath him.  “Now Aiden,” I begged.  He left me for a second and removed the rest of his clothes.  I let my eyes wander his naked body.  He was beautiful, and he was mine.

I heard him open up a box, and take out a foil packet.  “I uh bought these when you were running your errand today.  I wasn’t expecting anything, but I wanted us to be ready.”  “I’m glad you thought ahead.  Now come here,” I directed and stretched my arm out. 

He covered himself, and wrapped me in his arms.  He kissed me deeply, until I was squirming against him again.  I felt him push in slowly, and pull back.  “Relax,” he whispered.  His lips trailed down my neck, and he pushed in completely.  I dug my nails into his back, and he froze.

“I’m sorry sweetheart.  I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”  I could feel his body vibrating with the effort to stay still.  I fell more deeply in love with him in that moment.  I ran my fingers through his hair, and coaxed him to kiss me again. 

It only hurt a little bit, not like what I'd heard from Toni, but I was anxious.  Slowly, what little pain there was began to fade, and I felt a need I couldn’t understand. 

I rubbed my legs down his and up his torso.  “Aiden,” I m
oaned.  “Do you need me to stop?” he asked dejectedly.  “No Aid, I need you to move.”  “Thank god,” he moaned, and slowly began to move inside me.

His hand slid into mine, and he continued to roll his hips against me.  I picked up his rhythm and drove him faster.  I kissed him desperately and felt his control snap.  His kiss became wild and he moved harder and faster.  My thoughts left my head as I moaned his name over and over, driving him faster and faster. 

I felt my body reaching, building, and then shatter in ecstasy.  He kissed me gently and whispered, “I adore you.”

He studied my face.
“Do you want to stop?” he asked tenderly.  “Can you still…I mean you didn’t?”  He chuckled. “No, I didn’t yet, but if you want to stop I will.”  “I don’t want to stop,” I whispered.

He pulled my legs up around his waist, and I felt him go deeper than before.  His movements were more frantic this time.  I felt powerful, and turned on.  I felt a second orgasm approach, which I realized was what I
felt a few moments ago. 

He pulled my nipple into his mouth and I
moaned.  I felt him groaning around my breast, and I pulled his mouth to mine.  His muscles shook slightly under my wandering fingers.  His breath gasped into my mouth.  I felt his heart hammering where our chests were pressed together.  I dug my fingers into his back, and his muscles tensed.  I was afraid I'd done something wrong until he tipped his head back and moaned.

After
several minutes he led me into the bathroom.  He disposed of the condom and started the shower.  “Come here Becca.”  We stepped into the spray and he gently helped me wash.  “How are you?” he asked gruffly.  “Really good,” I sighed.  “Did I hurt you?” he asked anxiously. “No, Aid.  I’m a little sore, but really happy.” 

Actually, I was embarrassed.  I hadn't considered the blood.  It wasn't a lot of blood, not as much as I expected, but there was some.  I looked down at my feet, when my nerves took over, but Aiden tilted my chin up with his finger.

“Are you really ok?” he asked concerned. “I’m fine, better than fine,” I admitted.  all of a sudden, I felt very shy.  I wasn't being driven by lust, and I was naked in front of a man. 

“Well I feel relieved.  I was afraid I was too rough and I hurt you.  I don’t care about the blood.”  He kissed me tenderly again.  “I’m going to take care of the bed.  Take a few minutes and let the warmth seep in.”  I nodded shyly.

After the shower, I curled up next to Aiden.  He twirled a lock of my wet hair around his finger.  I turned and rested my head on his chest. 

“I like your tattoo,” I said tracing it. 
I had seen the outline of it through his t-shirts.  It was a phoenix rising out of swirling ash and fire.  The only color was the flames licking over the black and grey shaded bird.  “Does it mean anything for you?” 

“Yeah, it reminds me that I can pull myself up and overcome anything.  Even if the pain feels like it will consume me
at the time,” he said in a thick voice.  “This is about losing your son,” I whispered.  “Yeah,” he replied.  “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”  “Thank you,” he said quietly.  I fell asleep feeling safe and warm.  It was the first time in years I didn’t wake up in a cold sweat. 

Aiden

I woke up deliriously happy, and painfully hard.  It took a few seconds for the fog to clear from my brain to realize I was wrapped around Becca.  My hand covered her breast, and her soft backside was pressed into my groin. 

I wanted her desperately, but she needed time to recover from last night.  She promised
me I hadn’t hurt her, but it was her first time and we needed to wait a day or two before doing it again.  I felt her begin to stir, and grind herself against me.  I reached down and held her hips still. 

“You’re killing me Red,” I groaned.  “I want you,” she said in her husky sleepy voice.  “Becca
, we have to wait,” I said, praying she would see reason.  “Why?” she pouted.  “You’re probably sore.  We should wait.”  I sounded like I was trying to convince myself now. 

“Aiden, can you do something for me?”
she asked. “Anything,” I promised.  She smiled seductively. “Good, make love to me.”  “I’m never going to win a fight with you am I?” I teased.  “I’m fine Aiden, except I need you inside me now.  Do you really want to talk me out of it?”  “Well when you put it that way…” I’ve never loved losing an argument so much.

A couple
of hours later we headed to a popular restaurant on Main Street.  “I shouldn’t be introducing you to them,” I muttered nervously.  Her green eyes widened. I realized she didn’t understand what I was saying.  She tried to hide her distress behind her curtain of dark brown-red hair.

I pushed her hair back from her face.  “I want you to meet my dad, but I’m worried my mom is going to be nasty.  I don’t want to subject you to that.  If she is mean, we are leaving.  I won’t allow her
to speak disrespectfully to you,” I explained what I meant.  “Now I’m really nervous,” she said quietly.  “Don’t be.  No matter what she says I will still love you,” I promised.

We arrived and were shown to their table.  “Mother, Father I want to introduce you to my girlfriend Rebecca Scott.  Becca this is my mother Nadine and my father
Frank,” I introduced.

“Mr. and Mrs. Ryan, it is nice to meet you,” Becca greeted
politely.  I could tell my father liked her immediately, and that my mother was determined not to.  She confirmed that with the next words out of her mouth.

“Aiden darling.
I confirmed with Vanessa’s parents that our family will join them for Christmas break at Whistler for skiing.  She is looking forward to seeing you again, even though I know you two just had a lovely visit in New York.” 

I pinched the bridge of my nose.  I might
have been concerned about her tactic if I hadn’t confided everything to Becca before we got together.  Becca’s small hand slid across my thigh and squeezed reassuringly.  I smiled at her, and held her hand.

Through clenched teeth I answered
my mother.  “I. Am. Not. Going.”  My mother waved her hand in dismissal.  “Don’t be ridiculous, of course you’re going.”  “Dad?” I asked for his intervention.

“Nadine the boy is twenty-four, we can hardly
force him to go skiing with us,” my dad said trying to end the conflict.  My mother glared at me icily. “Aiden, I expect this unfortunate situation to be resolved.  I am very disappointed in you.”

I looked at Becca and notice
d her trying to withdraw into herself.  Fuck this.  I tossed my napkin on the table.  “Mom, I love Becca.  I’m not going to get back together with Vanessa.  I’m not going skiing.  I won’t go anywhere she is going to be.  If you try and trick me into seeing her I will leave and not speak to you again."

I paused to give her a chance to withdraw her comments, but she stared back at me unconcerned.  "
You will respect my relationship with Becca or don’t call me.  I don’t understand why you would want me to continue with Vanessa when I was slowly dying with her.  What kind of mother tries to force her child into a life that will make him miserable?”

I started to get up, but my father stopped me.  “Aiden, just a moment please.
"  He turned toward my mother.  "Nadine, I have overlooked this far too long.  Does Becca know?”  My father asked me before continuing.  I nodded, and he continued speaking.

“That girl tore my son’s heart out.  I can’t stand her, nor do I want to go skiing with her social climbing mother or her manipulative bastard of a fathe
r.  I have to work with the guy. I don’t want him to be a member of the family.  Have I made myself clear?” 

My mother stared blankly back at him. 
“Frank, seriously, you know it's expected for Aiden and Vanessa to marry.  Think of what people will say if he abandons her for some low-class slut he met at the lake.”  I heard Becca gasp, and I lost my cool.

“That’s it, we'
re out of here.  Dad I wished we could have spent more time together.  Next time leave her behind and we’ll visit. 
When
Becca and I get married leave her behind then too.” 

“You’re engaged?” my mother choked.  Becca was really panicked now.  Shit, I really stepped in it this time.  I decided to just tell the truth.  “I would marry Becca tomorrow, but I think she would like to have a real wedding after she graduates in two years.” 

My father reached out and squeezed Becca's hand.  “I’m terribly sorry Rebecca.  I can see that my son is happy with you.  I'll come back in a couple of weeks alone.  That will give the three of us a chance to get to know each other better.”  “I would like that,” she answered and smiled her angel's smile.

We walked out to the parking lot and I pointed us toward my favorite Chinese restaurant in town.  “I believe I owe you lunch,” I said trying to lighten the mood.  “Let’s
get take-out and go back to bed,” she suggested.  “Woman I love the way you think.”