Tethered (13 page)

I tried to open up my clutch
, the little snap mechanism slipping on my fingers, before I finally got it pried open. I pulled out my phone, unlocked it, and opened up my text messages. I scrolled through them, making myself look as though I was important and talking to people, before coming across the threaded conversation with Tom. I looked around slyly, almost making sure Kurt or anyone else wasn’t around, and started to scroll through the messages. I smiled, reading the cute little things Tom told me. He talked about our time together, the fun things he wanted to do with me, and even all of the stuff when I was in Napa. I would be lying if I said this all didn’t make me miss him. He was a special guy, and I let him go just so I could be disrespected and paraded around like some half-brained escort that was being paid to look pretty. None of this, not the celebrity mingling or expensive clothing, could ever come close to the niceness Tom showed me. If I did anything, I at least needed to apologize. I wanted to make sure he knew that what I did was wrong, and that I was always here if he wanted to talk.

I clicked the little white bar for my message, and stumbled as I tried to think of what to say, and how to say it
. It was one thing to know you wanted to say you were sorry, but how did you say it? I wanted to make my message powerful, for I knew I might only have one chance.

"I just wanted to say I’m sorry for everything that had happened. Yes, I saw someone else, but it wasn’t because you were inadequate. I had met him around the time we started talking, so I didn’t go seek him out after the fact. I know you’re mad, and I hope you didn’t get in any legal trouble, but I’d like to talk to you and at least be friends. We had a great time together, and if you’d give me the chance, I know you’d see I really am a nice and good person. Hope to hear from you soon."

The little dash blinked on the screen, waiting to see if I was going to type anything more to him. I hovered my thumb above the send button, and closed my eyes for a quick second before hitting it. The text got sucked into the threaded message, and away it went, off to Tom. I took a deep breath, felt a little better, and knew this was for the better, at least so I hoped.

•••

An hour went by and nothing came on my phone. I checked it, about every ten minutes, hoping, praying that I would see a message sitting there from him. Kurt had just walked around, flirting with any woman with her breasts hanging out, all while I trailed behind before finally just walking away to a corner where a slew of chairs were set up. Kurt didn’t notice, instead going about his mingling business as I sat there, all alone, left with the incessant throbbing of my toes and heels. I watched everybody go by, including some of my favorite actors, but I couldn’t get myself to say anything. I would’ve felt like a fool anyway. This was supposed to be a safe place for actors—a haven. A small building away from mumbling and crazy fans who tried to cut a piece of their hair off to bind away in some creepy journal. Not only did that hold me back, but my annoyance made me not even care. The president could’ve walked by and I wouldn’t even care.

A waitress brought me over some food and noticed
I was distraught. She told me to hang in there, and that she used to be an escort also. She tried saying it would get better and that I could get back on my feet and go to school or something to make a difference in my life. I just nodded, shoving the small pastry in my mouth as I rolled my eyes and tapped my fingers on the arm of the chair. At this point, I wish I were some high-priced escort. At least then, I’d get paid for sitting around and being treated like shit by Kurt. Maybe I should just send him a bill in the mail. Knowing how stupid he was and how much money he had, he’d probably just automatically pay some five hundred dollar bill.

As I sat there waiting as Kurt
finally made his way back over to me, but getting stopped by someone, I felt a strange buzzing in my lap. My clutch was in my lap, and I knew it wasn’t my lip gloss vibrating in there. It was a text message. Butterflies filled my stomach and I opened the clutch, slid out my phone before pressing the lock button, and found a message from Tom. I smiled, trying to hide it from anyone looking, and slid my finger on the screen to open the message.

"Yeah, we can talk. I’ve cooled down, and I think it’s best that we meet up sometime soon. I have to go to my night class, but I’ll contact you soon."

I locked my phone, a smile clearly on my face, and put it in my purse as Kurt came up to me, a suspicious look on his face as he probably wondered why I could be so happy.

“What was that?” he asked as he pointed to my clutch, obviously talking about my phone and who was contacting me.

“Oh, it was just my cousin. She sent me a funny text. Nothing that would make sense to you,” I said, as I looked him in the eyes.

“Oh, well, that’s good
. I’m thinking about getting out of here. Are you ready to go?” he asked, his tone not nearly that of rudeness like it was earlier.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” I said as I stood up, the newly forming blisters on the bottom of my feet starting to ache.

Kurt put his arm around me and we walked through the building and to the front door, my teeth grinding together behind my closed lips as each step felt like I was walking through hell. Kurt called the car, and he came up within five minutes, ready to take us back to wherever we were going now. I just hope I could save my vanilla ice cream before it spoiled.

Chapter Thirteen

A few days had passed
since the premiere, and of course, I hadn’t heard a word from Kurt, but I wasn’t so sure that was a bad thing. I hadn’t talked to Tom either, with both of us avoiding each other at all costs. I really didn’t want to avoid or ignore him, but it seemed so awkward. How do I bring up Kurt, a super big movie star, to a guy that was just…average. I wasn’t even sure at this point if I wanted to be anything with Kurt, between the movie premiere and the fight him and Tom were in, made me believe that maybe I wasn’t right for this kind of lifestyle. Sure, he was rich and famous, and I could have everything I’ve ever wanted in my life, but was it worth it? To be paraded around like an escort and then dumped off like trash while he mingled with all of his friends. Flirting with other women in front of me and checking out the perfect asses of the waitresses. Even with all he could offer me, I wasn’t sure I could truly accept it all.

I had received a bunch of e-mail and instant messages from my old webcam watchers
. They all asked if I were dead or something, for I hadn’t been on in a while. In all of the craziness with Kurt and Tom, I had grossly neglected my duties, and I was afraid I was going to lose out on both money and viewers.

I usually went on Monday nights, and today was Monday, so that night I decided to actually get on cam
. Bills weren’t going to stop coming in, and with no real job on the horizon, I had to resort to pimping out my body for all of these guys to see. I guess it really wasn’t any different than screwing Kurt.

As I got on cam, viewers began to come in one by one
. A few guests came first, followed by actual members and even some of my regulars. They all exclaimed how happy they were I was back, which made me smile. Even though I didn’t know them, they almost seemed like family…family members that would get off to me being naked. It wasn’t the best analogy I could come up with, but it worked.

“Hey guys
.”
I typed into the chat before waving and blowing a kiss.

They all typed out hearts and smiley faces, with a few tips coming in, although they weren’t anything big
. I wore my typical garb, a tank top with no bra and small shorts. It was what I was known for, and anything different would’ve been weird for both myself and my regulars. I did change it up, though, with a white tank top, which allowed a better view of my nipples. I usually went darker, but I needed the money.

“Do you have any toys?”
A man typed.

“Yes I do.”
I typed back with a smile, hoping this would turn into something.

I had never seen this guy’s name before, at least I didn’t think I had, so getting a new viewer who donated coins was something of a big deal for me
. Usually I got a lot of scrap coins, those that weren’t more than a couple at a time, but guys asking for things had to pay more of a premium, even though everybody watching got to enjoy it.

An alert flashed on my screen, and the guy tipped me fifty coins, which was enough for some toy play
. I smiled, thanked him, and said I would be right back, citing that I needed to get them out. After Kurt, I had bought some toys, and even ordered a new pink Bullet vibrator, which I hadn’t used yet with everything that had been going on. I thought this was the perfect opportunity, and I brought the few others I had and laid them on my bed as I sat back down with it.

I pulled the straps of my tank top down, exposing my tender breasts while still keeping it around my stomach just in case I needed to quickly pull it up
. As I tilted my computer screen down and pushed myself back in bed, getting the view ready, I had an influx of viewers and comments. Guys were getting excited, and they were all too happy to let me know how horny I was making them.

I blew a kiss to the screen and slid my shorts and black panties down at the same time, exposing myself, all of myself, to everyone in the room
. I squinted and saw the room count was up to three hundred, which made me excited for the tips that may come. I was just praying this would be hot enough for all of them.

I picked up the
Bullet, which had a finger loophole on the back so you didn’t have to actually hold it in your hand. A little power button was on top, and I clicked it, feeling the Bullet power on and buzz at the speed of light. I ran it down my breasts and stomach, hovering above my skin, but giving the illusion it was touching me. Alerts started sounding, and a few tips, from five to twenty coins, came in. Luckily Morgan was at a study group, so if this made me squirt and scream, I would know she wouldn’t find out what I was always doing in here at night.

I smiled before it
instantly left my face, as the toy touched against my clit. I closed my eyes, my free arm throwing back and grabbing my headboard, as the vibrations shot throughout my body and took me to a place of bliss I didn’t know was possible.

“Shit,” I said
out loud as I rolled the Bullet around.

Each movement was new…it was completely different
. A different sensation rolled throughout my body, and I felt as though my mind was being taken to a place of pure ecstasy. I could hear the donation alerts flowing in as I grinded my hips against the Bullet, but I couldn’t open my eyes to see how much I was making. To be honest, I didn’t really care how much I was making. All I wanted was this Bullet, and all I needed was more pleasure.

As a few minutes passed, the sound of the donation alert didn’t stop
. As enthralled and pleased I was with this Bullet, I wanted more. I wanted something inside of me, something that would complement the vibrations of this Bullet. I struggled, but got my eyes opened, seeing my other toy, a long, flesh like erection, one that even had veins popping out of the side. I grabbed it, showing it to the cam, as I sat up and saw my running totals.

Four hundred and seventy-
three. That’s how many tokens I had attained tonight already, and it hadn’t been more than five or so minutes. I had made forty-seven dollars, and I knew this new toy would bump me up to a hundred. I showed off the toy, almost asking for permission from the boys. I wanted to know if they wanted it, if they wanted me taking the entire thing. A flood of responses, all yes, came in and I smiled before lying back down against my pillows and rubbing the toy against my wet snatch.

I slowly slid the toy in, the girth feeling like Kurt’s, as I opened my mouth and let them all know it was too big for me
. Donations alerts came in, and I accented it with the toy that started this whole night. The Bullet pressed against my clit, and I swear my left eye began to twitch and roll into my head.

“Yes,” I said out loud, as the toys worked in tandem to pleasure me.

My abs flexed and tensed, the “cock” inside of me already fully in and making me begin to cream. Why didn’t Kurt and I use toys? With how aggressive and neurotic he was in bed, this Bullet could’ve made my mind shatter.

Normally I would hold myself back, only doing so much before stopping and waiting for more donations, but that didn’t happen tonight, and for good reason
. I was providing a constant stream of content, and the thought of all of these people watching me brought out the insane exhibitionist in me, that couldn’t stop pounding myself. I pressed the Bullet into my clit, shocking my senses, and finally making myself feel the orgasm rush through my body like a racecar. I arched my back, the tingling beginning, as I finally felt it. It was bliss…it was ecstasy. I could feel my tight little hole clenching the toy as my muscles contracted. My breathing got heavy, and I slowly put my back against the sheets, as I felt the chill from my cool sweat that had been soaked onto the mattress. I pulled the Bullet away, clicked the power button, and pulled the toy out, hearing the sounds of my own juices and wetness being slushed around.

I tossed them on the ground, too paranoid to let something like that sit on my sheets, and I sat back up to see my viewers going crazy, as well as my reaction in the cam as I saw my totals.

One thousand, four hundred, and thirty-six.

Did I really just ma
ke one hundred and forty-three dollars? All from that? Was I right weeks ago when I said that investing in toys could really be all the difference for me? Either that or getting a guy to screw me on cam, which I knew was a bad decision. I would never do that, and I think I’d be highly embarrassed for people, especially a bunch of other horny guys, to watch me getting fucked.

“Thanks for the great show.”

“You’re the best!”

“You got me off.”

Those were just a few of the responses from viewers, all three thousand of them, said to me before they started to taper off and go into the other rooms now that I was done. I said good-bye, blew a kiss, and closed my laptop just as my phone began to buzz. Something about hearing that buzz as I closed my cam made me nervous. Did somebody I know—someone important—see me on cam and now was trying to ask me what the hell was up? I know it sounded stupid, but Kurt saw and recognized me, so you really just never knew. If an A-list celebrity could do it, then someone like Tom or a family member easily could.

"Are you free to meet on Wednesday? I think we should talk about things." Tom said.

“Yes! That works great. Just let me know the details.
”
I hastily replied back.

I slid my bottoms back on, rolled up my tank top, which was still down and exposing my girls, and snuggled myself under the covers, a true and stupid smile on my face. It was set, and now I could sleep well knowing that I was soon going to see Tom, hopefully to set the record straight.

•••

Tom wanted to meet on Wednesday afternoon. He said the night was fairly busy for him with club activities, and I had some free time between classes, so I obliged and agreed it would be best. Besides, if I saw him earlier in the day then I didn’t have to go crazy waiting until the night. It was a win-win for everyone.

To say I was nervous to see him would be an understatement
. I felt as though I had a lot riding on this, and one small misstep could spell disaster for any chance I had at rekindling any sort of friendship or more. I had realized that vanilla ice cream was a great flavor, and hopefully Tom’s was still in stock so I could buy the entire stock before another girl walked into the freezer aisle.

As I walked to meet him, in the same spot as before when things were broken off, I began to have my old memories rehashed
. I saw him sitting there, a smile on his face, as I approached, my hands in my coat pockets, as it was unusually chilly today.

“Hey,” he said as he stood up, giving me a hug.

“Hey,” I said, my bright and large smile being hidden as our bodies embraced.

We let go, and sat down beside each other on the metal bench
. Students and faculty members passed by, not giving us a second thought, before I looked at him and waited to see what he would say.

“How have you been?” he asked.

“I’ve been well. Just a lot of assignments and school going on. How about yourself?” I asked.

“I’ve been well
. I’ve had a lot going on, some new things, which is why I wanted to meet up with you.”

“Well…what’s up?” I asked hesitantly.

“Well, I’ve had a lot of time to think about you, and to think about us. This whole situation, with you and me, and Kurt mixed in, was so much that it really made me have to think. To be honest with you, I thought I was the only guy in your life. I thought things were going great, and I really liked being with you.”

“I liked being with you
, too,” I interjected.

“The problem is, though, I’m not sure what other secrets you hold
. It seems as though all the girls I date have some kind of secret that they don’t want to share. It could be something small, or big, but it’s always something I don’t like, and I’m careful now, especially after Kurt.”

I sat there, digesting every word he said
. I felt slightly bad, knowing that I had hurt him and made him construct a wall to block myself and others out. I know what it felt like, and it wasn’t a good feeling. The other thing is that I did have secrets that I was holding from him. Hell, I was a cam girl and just the other night pleasured myself for three thousand strange men from all over the world. Men in England, Illinois, India, and Toronto all got off by seeing me shove toys up my holes as a Bullet vibrated through me so badly that I felt my teeth chattering. Could I just tell him this, though? My reputation and trust was already shattered with him, and the pieces were just now being taped back together…and slowly at that. I knew telling him of my secret life would be an absolute disaster. He wasn’t the kind of guy to like this, and there was no going back on this. It was one thing to bang Kurt, but another in having thousands of men watch you get off. Guys didn’t like their girlfriends getting naked for other men. They were territorial like that.

“I don’t hold any other secrets, at least I don’t think so,” I said, telling a little white lie.

“So there’s nothing else? Kurt was the only secret?”

“Well, I wet the bed until I was nine
. I haven’t told anyone that, not even Morgan.”