The Sheikh's Desert Bride (Qazhar Sheikhs series Book 8) (6 page)

"You've changed, you know that, don't you?" he said softly.

Lucy arched her brows at him. "Really? You think so?"

Azim nodded. His eyes narrowed and he studied her for a moment. "There's something new in your eyes. Something about you, I just can't quite put it into words. You're just...different."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" she asked, desperate to know the answer and struggling to disguise her need to know.

"What do you think?" he said with a grin.

She felt a sudden rush of emotion. Why did he have to go looking at her like that? Didn't he know how hard it was for her to contain how she was feeling?

"I don't know," she said defensively.
 

The emotion surged again, and she looked away from him, desperate to hide what her face would tell him, even if she refused to utter the words.

Lucy peered back at him. "Azim. I need to say something."

His brows rose hopefully and she could see that he was suddenly eager to hear her next words. She knew the thing she was about to say would hurt him, that it would hurt her to utter the words. But, if she was to have any chance of surviving the coming night, let alone the journey back to Qazhar city she knew she had to tell the truth. Even if it stung, even it made them both feel unwanted pain.

Lucy drew in a deep breath and gazed at Azim. "We were good together, Azim."

She saw him grin and he was about to say something but she cut him off by continuing.
 

"But, that was the past. It's all in the past." She felt her throat tighten but she forced herself to carry on. "And now, I think if we're to get through the next day or two, then it would be best if we just accept that, and try to keep things between us as simple as we can."

Lucy watched Azim's features tighten, his eyes darken.

"Let's just be friends. Okay?" she said, hardly believing she was saying such a thing to this incredible man seated by her side. His eyes narrowed and he gazed at her as if she had just pulled the earth out from beneath him.

Azim paused a few moments, then glanced away from Lucy. She wondered how he was going to respond. Finally, he looked back at her and she could see the change her words had caused.

"Friends?" he asked in a flat voice. His features were an impassive, cold mask.

Lucy could only nod silently. Her voice had deserted her completely.

Azim sighed and she saw his shoulders slump. He slid away from her. "Fine. Let's be friends, Lucy. If that's what you'd like."

"I think it's best, Azim." Lucy said.

Azim dropped down onto the blanket, thrust his hands behind his head and gazed up at the roof of the cave. His face had become an impassive block of stone, as hard and impenetrable as the rocks that surrounded them. She saw his gaze fix upon a spot high up above them, and she wondered what he was thinking. Had she been too blunt? Could she have said it better? Had she hurt him? Of course she had, she told herself. That had been what she'd intended, hadn't it?

Lucy drew in a long breath and considered saying something, anything that could retrieve the situation. Something that could take back the hurt she had caused. But, she knew it was too late.

 
He already seemed lost to her, and it had only taken a few brief words. She could hardly believe she had done it. But she had.
 

Regret curled like a hard ball in her middle and she flipped herself onto her side, her back to Azim. It was going to be a long night and she hoped that the blessed relief of sleep would come sooner rather than later.

What had she just done?

CHAPTER SIX

The next morning, Azim awoke with the barely discernible rays of dawn at the entrance to the cave. He sat up and gazed down at the sleeping form next to him.
 

Lucy looked so peaceful. Her even, pretty features were set into a soft, serene mask. Her breathing was quiet and regular. For a moment he gazed at her face, savoring the sight of her full lips, the graceful line of her jaw, the delicate arch of her brows. Loose strands of hair had fallen across one side of her mouth and he wanted to reach across and pull them away. But, the last thing he wanted to do was wake her. Not after what had happened last night.

He was glad that the episode of panic which had seized her during the night had passed.
 

After Lucy had fallen asleep Azim had turned the night-light down slightly in order to preserve the charge. The darkness inside the small cave had been almost total. But he had ensured there was still enough light to see by, just in case she woke up during the night.
 

He hadn't forgotten Lucy's distress at waking during the night to find herself enshrouded in complete darkness. He remembered the episodes she'd suffered when they'd shared nights together. And he'd learned that it helped her to have even a small light on if she awoke unexpectedly.

And, sure enough, during the night in the cave, she had yelled out once, waking Azim. He'd turned up the lamp and taken her briefly in his arms, calming her. He hated to see her suffer, felt sick when he'd seen the momentary terror in her eyes. She'd looked up at him as he'd cradled her in his arms, and for a moment he'd been transported back to two years before when she'd looked at him with just that exact same expression.
 

Just as he'd done so many times before, last night he'd whispered to her as he held her close and he'd felt her body soften against him. Emotion had swelled in him, but all he could do was think about how he could settle her so she could go back to sleep. What she'd been through in the past twenty-four hours had been more than most women could bear. But, Lucy was strong.
 

He knew that. Had always known that.
 

Her night terror seemed at odds with the woman he knew her to be. But, he could still understand irrational fears. He had fears of his own. Especially one that involved losing Lucy again. But, as he held her, he drove his own selfish desires away to the back of his mind. All that mattered was making Lucy feel safe, ensuring she was okay.

After a while she'd drifted off to sleep again and he'd eased her back down, resting her head against the pack. He was pleased she hadn't woken again during the night.

Azim stood quietly and went outside. He looked up at the narrow line of sky he could see at the top of the cliffs. The night's darkness was being replaced by a deep blue. He stretched and felt the coolness of the air. He took in a deep breath. There was enough light for them to make a start. He attended to the pair of horses and then considered waking Lucy. Before he could go back into the cave he heard the sounds of her waking.

Lucy emerged from the cave. Her eyes were heavy with sleep, her hair was dishevelled and her expression was ever so slightly grumpy, but he'd never seen anyone more beautiful in his life.

"Good morning," he said enthusiastically.

Lucy yawned and peered at him. She smiled and he felt his heart surge. She'd always looked beautiful in the mornings and now was no exception.

"Is it late?" she asked looking up at the sky.

"The sun just came up. I think we can eat something or just make a start. Whatever you like," he said.

Lucy fussed with her hair. It was a simple gesture but one that fired need up inside him with the way it made her body move. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him right now?

"I'll have some water and then we can get on our way," she said.

He went inside and came out with a flask of water. She took it from him and drank. When she'd finished she handed it back to him. "About last night," she said.

"It's okay. You don't need to explain. I remembered how you felt about the dark," he said.

She seemed suddenly perplexed, as if he'd mentioned the wrong thing. Had he misunderstood her. Hadn't she been talking about waking up in a panic. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"You woke up," he explained.

"I did?" she replied seemingly surprised.

"Don't you remember?"

Lucy's eyes narrowed. "I did have a dream," she said. "I think it was about you," she added looking at Azim.

He peered at her. "You did wake up. Once."

"I did?"

He nodded. "And I held you."

"Oh," she said and he could that now she was embarrassed. "Okay," she said waving a dismissive hand. "I guess you hadn't forgotten, then."

"How could I? Anyway, it was fine. You went back to sleep."

Lucy wrapped her arms around herself. He knew that gesture, knew what it really meant. She wanted to change the subject.

"Whenever you're ready, we can get going," he said starting to keep himself busy with one of the horses.
 

"Okay. I'll give you hand," she said.

Azim turned to her. "No need. I'll just get the packs back on the horses and we'll be off. We should make it to the site by late morning if we keep a steady pace. It'll give us a chance to catch up," he said. "I told you about me. Now, it's your turn."

He saw her eyes widen at that statement. Maybe she didn't want to tell him what she'd been doing since he'd last seen her. Was she seeing someone else? Was she in a long-term relationship, one that she hadn't yet told him about? Was he assuming too much by just taking it for granted that she'd been with no-one else since she'd last seen Azim?

She rushed back into the cave. Too quickly, he thought. Maybe she did have stuff she didn't want to share with him. He'd soon find out.

They got their things packed up and soon they were on their horses and heading up the narrow valley. For a while she didn't say anything to Azim. He was content to ride by her side. The valley was mostly wide enough to accommodate two horses side by side. Occasionally the pass did narrow so that he had to let her go ahead of him, but that just gave him a chance to enjoy the sight of Lucy.
 

Riding behind her he could savor her long neck, her finely muscled shoulders and arms, the way her hips shifted as she sat on the saddle. It was a guilty pleasure, but he refused to berate himself for taking every opportunity to enjoy watching her, to relish and appreciate the sheer splendor of her exquisite beauty.

By the middle of the morning he knew they weren't far from the site of the statues. He drew alongside her as the pass widened. "So, tell me. What have you been doing since we last met?"

Lucy glanced at him. "Not much," she said casually.

Azim quirked a brow at her. "Really? Not much?"

Lucy shrugged. "You know what I do. What my life is like."

"That's the thing, Lucy. I don't," he said. "Tell me about it all. Where have you been?"

Lucy's brows furrowed and he could tell she didn't welcome talking about herself. Just how much was she willing to share with him? How hard was she going to make him work? He recalled how stubborn she could be. How much he liked that when it came to the things that mattered, like lovemaking. But, right now, he wanted to know every detail of her life since he'd last seen her. He felt he had some right to know, even if she was obviously determined to keep so much to herself.
 

Azim decided to try another tack. "How are your parents?"

Lucy rolled her eyes. Now she really did look uncomfortable. "You know how they are, Azim. Dad has his business. You know. The one he tried to get me into."

Azim laughed. "I never could see you as an accountant," he joked.

"Yeah, right," Lucy said. "Look at me now. Can you imagine me behind a desk staring at spreadsheets all day long?"

Azim grinned. "No. But, it didn't stop him trying, did it?"

"He was only trying to protect me, I suppose."

"What's wrong with that?" Azim challenged.

Lucy glanced at him. "Nothing wrong with a father wanting to do the best for his daughter."

"You're lucky to have such loving parents. But, they must worry about you when you go off into these kind of wild places."

Lucy's brows furrowed with emotion. "I know they do. Every time I go back to the States we always end up having the same conversation and my dad tries one more time to tuck me safely behind a desk."

"One day he might succeed," Azim suggested.

"I think he's finally come around. He realizes his only child is not the kind to be tied down to a desk job."

"It must have been a disappointment for him," Azim said.

"Mom helped him see sense, I think."

"Does she still have the bakery?" he asked.

Lucy nodded as if she was almost embarrassed by the admission. "Well, they do live in a small town. And it is the only bakery in the place. So, I guess she enjoys having a monopoly. Dad understands that, as a business thing. As long as he doesn't have to get involved in baking cakes." Lucy grinned. "And, it helps that she gets to know all the town gossip, too. That's just an added bonus, as far as Mom is concerned."

"They must wonder what they did to raise such an adventuress as you," he said.

"Adventuress? Is that what you think I am?"

Azim nodded. "Isn't that what you are?"

Lucy squinted. "It sounds kinda exciting, I guess." She furrowed her brow in that cute way that always made something shift inside him. Lucy peered at him. "It sounds like something out of a fantasy novel," she said.

Azim gazed at her. "You look perfectly real to me," he said.

He saw her cheeks redden. She glanced away from him.

"So you gave up an exciting life of accountancy for this?" he said gazing around.

Lucy looked at Azim and she had a defiant look in her eyes with which he was all too familiar. "It's what I've always dreamed of doing. Isn't that all that matters."

"Of course it is," he agreed. "You have to follow your destiny. That's what you're doing, isn't it?"

He saw her eyes narrow slightly. Was she wondering just what he'd meant by that last remark?

"I thought you'd understand what it means to follow your dreams," she said.

He peered at her. "My dreams? How do you know what my dreams are?"

"I could hardly have forgotten, could I?" she said. "All that stuff you used to say to me about obligation and duty to your kingdom. It sounded so grand."