Thirty-Eight Days (9 page)

It was quarter to six and Noel still wasn’t home. She wasn’t sure if she should be worried, but she had to remind herself that he was a grown adult. Since her interaction with Liam earlier in the day, she had been a bunch of nerves. Liam did this to her. He made her forget about Noel, and she liked that.

The box she received in the morning still sat in her lounge room. She decided to open it on her birthday on Friday. She was curious, but she managed to leave it unopened. Clara sat in her apartment all day, watching pointless afternoon soaps on her TV. The sound of a key inside the lock and the front door opening alerted her; Noel was home.

Clara thought about greeting him, but she decided against it. Twenty minutes later, she was about to leave her bedroom and see what was for dinner when her phone buzzed. Walking to the dresser, she saw that it was a message from Stevie.

Stevie was the campus Queen Bee; she was more popular than Annie. In the sense she knew everyone’s secrets, it was better that she was an
ally than an enemy. Thankfully, Clara and Stevie were on good terms. She opened it and saw what she dreaded. On her screen was a photo of Darren and a blonde
kissing.

Stevie: They’re at the end-of-year university party that YOU organised. I swear, Clara, you need to come down here and punch the bitch’s face in!

With her recent mopping, the days morphed together and she forgot that the social party of the year was tonight. Clara had spent the year organising which club they would attend and the guest list. The picture was a slap in the face. The pain she thought she had gotten over returned, fiercer than ever. She was about to reply and tell Stevie she wasn’t going to make it when she got another message.

Stevie: You thought he was a nice boy! He is the worst kind of nice boy. He was a fake! HE CHEATED ON YOU WITH THAT BITCH!!

Clara: Stevie, don’t work yourself up about it. You have fun tonight. I’m not coming.

Stevie: WHAT! Don’t you dare give them the satisfaction, Lawrence. Get yourself HOT and get that beautiful ass of yours, that I know boys drool over, down here. You don’t need a nice boy!

Clara wasn’t sure what to do. Stevie was right, though; she didn’t need a nice boy. What she needed was to attend the party she planned.

Clara: Screw it! I need reckless! I need someone that will make me forget. I’ll be in control this time.

Clara was about to text Stevie her reply when she got another text message.

Annie: Hello, Clara. It’s Annie. Stevie just texted me. Just wanted to know if you’re coming to the party tonight? If you were, then we could hang out. Let me know. –Annie

If Annie was going I would be in safe hands. I wouldn’t have to worry about going home with the wrong guy; she would make sure I didn’t.

Clara: Annie, tell Stevie I’m on my way!

It would be the first time Clara would be facing Darren since
that
night. She had to make sure he knew what he did. She went into her wardrobe and took out one of her tighter dresses. She knew it was a dress Darren never approved of. But she didn’t care. She would let any hot guy kiss her, and she would drink. This was
his
fault, and she wanted to rub it in his face. He was missing out.

Anger and resentment built inside of her. After she had taken a shower, she slipped into the tight dress that showed off her figure perfectly. She sat at her dresser and started to apply her makeup. She carefully placed on her fake lashes and a bit of eyeliner. She added blush and a red glossy lipstick then tied her black-and-gold short dress together.

Looking in the mirror, she didn’t look like herself. She looked sexier than she had ever looked before. Clara decided to leave her long curls as they were instead of straightening them. She needed to get to the club quickly and find herself a guy.

Collecting her phone from her dresser, she headed for the lounge room. Grabbing her ID and some cash, Clara put them in a small gold clutch she left in a drawer in the old French cabinet. She was about to walk out and hail a taxi when she remembered that she and Noel were going to eat dinner together.

“Noel,” she yelled out as she took out a twenty for pizza.

“Yeah,” he said as he strolled in from the kitchen and stopped in his tracks.

“What the hell are you wearing?” he asked in a growl that startled her. She noticed Noel’s clenched fists and she tensed.

“I’m going to show Darren what he’s missing,” Clara replied matter-of-factly.

“The hell you are, Clara!” Noel yelled. He was telling her off and that was starting to make her angry. He had no right.

Asshole!

“Why the hell does it matter to you, Noel? Last time I checked, this was a babysitting gig for you. Lay off! Here’s the money for the pizza. Don’t wait up!”

“Of course it matters. Do you think Alex would like to hear about what you’re about to do tonight?”

“Leave Alex out of this!” she yelled back at him, her skin starting to warm.

“The hell I’m leaving Alex out of this! You are
not
going out like that!” he warned, causing her anger to rise.

“Go
screw yourself, Noel!” Clara watched as Noel closed his eyes and took in a couple of heavy breaths.

“You are so stupid, Clara! No wonder he cheated on you. You make stupid decisions. If I was him, I would cheat on you, too,” his said sternly and Clara took a step back. He threw a hurtful blow.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare go there,” she barely whispered. She couldn’t fight him about Darren. It would be too painful for her.

“Why can’t I? Since you’re about to go show him what he’s missing. You didn’t think
I knew? Hell, Clara, everyone knew, including Alex. Why do you think I’m here? Because
you make stupid decisions!”

The memories of the night she and Darren ended flashed before her. Clara balled her fists to stop herself from tearing up. Noel took another breath of air before he continued his
onslaught.

“He cheated on you, Clara! Why would you think he would miss you? Especially, when he slept with that other girl. He forgot about you. He never cared about you! I bet you were stupid enough to sleep with him right after he slept with that other girl. When you were making love to him, Clara, he wasn’t thinking about you and how much he loved you. He was thinking about how much he could sleep with you before you found
out.” The tension on his face didn’t match the sorrow in his green eyes. For a moment, Clara believed his regretful gaze, but the delivery of his words told her otherwise.

Noel took a deep breath and those regretful eyes disappeared. “Bet he didn’t even tell you to get yourself tested. Think about the times
he was in her and any other girl. You, Clara, get cheated on and are stupid enough to want the bastard back. He doesn’t want you back! He never even wanted you! He just wanted to sleep with you and use you until he was done! Don’t you get that? You were a toy; nothing more! You’re pathetic, Clara! You drag Alex down!” Noel breathed out, letting his words settle in.

Warm tears fell from her blurry eyes. He delivered a humiliating blow and was completely right. She was upset that he called her out on her intentions. The mention of Alex pained her. Clara never wanted to drag him down with the choices she made. She just wanted her brother to be proud of her. He looked pained that he had to tell her the truth to stop her from making a mistake, but she didn’t care.

She wanted to tell him he was wrong, defend herself, but she couldn’t fathom the words that could defend herself with such justice. She only came up with two words that made sense to her.

“You’re wrong
,
” she whimpered out and walked to her bedroom. She didn’t give him the opportunity to say anything else.

Closing the door behind her, Clara slid down the surface until she sat on the floor. She couldn’t help the tears that came out, flowing beyond her control. Noel had hurt her more than Darren could have ever done. He didn’t even know her yet he knew everything about her. She grabbed her phone from the clutch and started to text both Annie and Stevie.

Clara: I’m tired. I’m over it. I’m worn out from their betrayal. It’d be a pathetic move if I showed up. SHE WINS! Don’t expect me!

She locked her phone and threw it along with her clutch across the room.
Noel’s harsh words continued to play through her mind. But it was his last words that hurt her more than anything he could ever say.

“I’m so sorry, Alex. I just wanted to be someone you’d be proud of,” she quietly sobbed. Clara let her tears continue to flow. She got up from the floor, took off her heels, and went straight to her bed, the pain and guilt consuming her and making the tears flow without an end.

I
have to be the asshole she expects me to be… I don’t want to be that! I want to be so much more than that to Clara.

His actions last night haunted his dreams, and worse off, they were his reality. The morning filled with heat and he could feel himself stick from the sweat. He placed his hands over his face to clear the moisture and to make better sense of his actions.

He screwed up last night; his good intentions made things worse between him and Clara. Noel sighed heavily. He knew what he said would hurt her, but he had to. He ran a hand through his messy hair and stared out the window. Her eyes had flickered with torment and hurt, but all he could really see was her sadness. He had hurt her and he hated himself for it.

Clara didn't deserve any of it, but I had to. God, believe me, I had to.

He continued to stare out the window, half expecting it to bring him the answers he desperately needed
.
But he knew he wouldn't have any. He needed to give her time, and maybe she would see why he did it. His feelings had to be pushed aside; he had to stop her, and it was the only way he knew how. To some extent, Noel believed Alex would have approved of his methods. However, if Alex had witnessed last night’s events, Noel would have a fist slammed into his face. The sick feeling in his stomach was one he didn’t enjoy. He shouldn’t have done that to Clara. He never wanted to treat her wrong ever again.

It was early on Wednesday, just past seven in the morning. Noel was up an hour before usual, but he couldn't sleep. His selfishness cost him everything he had, or possibly could have had, with Clara.

Footsteps from outside his room and her bedroom door closing sounded. She was up. He quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the bedroom door.

She doesn't want to see you.

He hesitantly stopped himself from turning the doorknob to see her and beg her forgiveness. She wouldn't want to hear from him, let alone see him. He inhaled a painful breath of air. Noel would let her have space. He rested his forehead on the door. He had to let her go. The front door closed and Clara's footsteps started to go faint with every second. He put more pressure on his forehead and placed his balled fists on the door.

I'm sorry, Clara.

K
eys… How did I lose you? Oh, that’s right! When I stupidly threw my bag across the room!