Winning Back His Doctor Bride (14 page)

It was. But not just one lie. More like an entire pack of them, circling around lost chances and stolen moments and trapping them inside—only pausing long enough to snap and growl whenever anything got too close.

A mishmash of betrayal, anger, fear and so many other emotions began crowding her mind, all vying for first place in her thoughts. She needed to get away. To think. To breathe. And she couldn't do that with James standing five feet away.

Before she could ask him to leave, though, a nurse headed their way. “You can go back and see Leo. He's asking for you. Both of you.”

She did the only thing she could. Without looking to see if James was following, she gritted her teeth to hold back the cry of pain and walked down the long hallway.

* * *

Mila was aware of the second Leo opened his eyes and looked at her. Her heart went from the pits of despair to a relief so great that it made her insides contract. She gripped his hand in both of hers, aware of James waiting somewhere behind her. She didn't want to talk to him right now. Maybe never. All her energy had to go toward Leo. Toward making sure he recovered.

Leo's eyes moved from hers to a spot just over her left shoulder.
“Papá, Papá ¿Dónde estás?”

Mila's throat tightened to breaking point when she realized he wasn't asking where his dead father was but was looking at James.

She glanced back, pleading for him not to hurt Leo. Not now. His mouth moved, but nothing came out, the shock on his face so obvious it might have been funny under different circumstances. Only no one was laughing. Least of all her.

He gave her a long glance before coming forward, the smile he gave Leo as fake as a runway model's. And his posture. It was stiff. His muscles tensed and ready.

Ready to run. Again.

Well, good. She could only hope he did it before she told him to get the hell out of her life.

How dared he look her in the eye six years ago and tell her that he simply couldn't go through with their wedding when all the while he'd been sitting on the real reason.

And somehow his lie was so much worse than her aunt's had been. Because Mila had been an adult, fully capable of dealing with anything he'd handed to her. Only he hadn't given her the chance.

Well, she didn't care. This was about Leo. Not about her. Not about James. He could take his sorry little sack of confessions and saunter right back out of their lives. But not until he helped Leo get through this one last thing.

The child held out his hand and James took it.
“¿Estoy bien?”
Am I okay?

Mila's heart fragmented into a million pieces.

“Yes, Leo.” There was a strangled edge to James's voice that she didn't recognize. “You're going to be fine now. I promise.”

She took a deep breath. At least this time he'd spoken the truth. She and Leo would be fine—without James. She would make sure of it, make sure she gave Leo everything he needed. And the thing he needed most was love.

The boy's eyelids fluttered, and Mila leaned down to kiss his brow. “You sleep. I'll be here when you wake up.”

When she glanced back at James. There was an anguish in his expression that she recognized all too well. She'd seen it once before. In the church, right before their wedding.

Mila moved away from Leo, hoping James would follow her. She didn't want little ears to hear what she was about to say. She met him by the door.

“Thank you for finally telling me the truth after all these years, but I think you should go. Now, before he wakes up.”

Even as she said the words, her heart cried out for him to say something—anything—that would change her mind before she could make the break complete, but he stood there like a stone.

She waited a second or two longer and when there was still nothing she finished the job, bringing down the ax before she lost her courage. “I want you to go, James. And don't come back.”

* * *

Mila threw herself into her work like never before, flitting between her LA clinic and the new one. James had given her free rein over the hiring of staff, and Avery had helped her in selecting the best candidates and setting up shop.

James had left instructions that no expense should be spared. She had an open checkbook, and he wanted her to use it however she wanted.

Of course he hadn't told her that in person. He'd done as she'd asked. He'd left. In fact, she hadn't seen him in the last two weeks. Someone said he'd taken his sailboat and gone on an extended vacation.

Where?

It didn't matter.

What did matter was that her doubts about the way she'd ended things were beginning to crop up, multiplying like dust bunnies that crouched beneath her bed, hidden from view but there nonetheless.

He'd done what he'd thought best back then.

Had it been the right decision?

No. No more than her aunt had done the right thing by telling her that her parents had died in a car accident.

Had he done it with malicious intent?

No. Of that she had no doubt.

I was trying to protect you.

In truth, nothing could have protected her from the pain of him saying it was over. Or the pain of her parents' deaths. Both things had been devastating losses that she'd never gotten over.

But James had confessed on his own. She hadn't had to wave a newspaper article in his face.

Had she pushed him away too quickly, fearing that if she didn't he would just repeat the mistakes of the past and hurt her again? Well, she'd made sure he never had the chance of doing that.

But if he'd wanted to stay, wouldn't he have fought for her? Or come back later and tried to get her to change her mind? He hadn't done that six years ago, so why did she expect him to do it now?

Besides, she'd basically told him not to bother.

Scrubbing the exam table a little harder than necessary after her last patient of the day, she tried to figure out what exactly she wanted.

She wanted James.

But did he really want her? Oh, he'd made love to her after that gala as if he cared about her. And he'd said that what he wanted to tell her had to do with the past...
and
the present. She'd never given him the chance to tell her anything beyond that awful confession.

But what else could he have wanted to say?

The door opened and Freya poked her head in. In her normal no-nonsense fashion she rounded the corner and braced her back against the wall beside the door, her maternity top skimming over her belly. Her friend glowed with health and happiness. And somehow that made Mila even more miserable. Especially since her cycle had come in with a vengeance, verifying what the pregnancy test had already told her. She wasn't carrying James's child. And if she was, would he have stayed with her just for that reason? He'd mentioned feeling a sense of responsibility toward that Cindy person when he'd thought she'd been pregnant.

More doubts arose, revealing the saddest truth of all.

She missed him. Terribly. Despite everything. As did Leo, who kept asking where Papá was.

That just about killed her.

She tossed her paper towel into the trash and tried to think of something cheery to say to her friend. She came up blank, settling for resting a hip against the exam table and waiting for Freya to spit out whatever it was she was chewing on.

“I know where he is.”

A stab of something went through her system. “Where who is?”

Freya gave her a look.

“Okay. I know who you mean. He lied to me, Freya. About everything.”

“I know. He told me.” Her friend moved as close as she could without her belly touching Mila. “I tried waiting until one of you came to your senses, but since neither of you seems to be heading in that direction, I'm going to tell you something. And then you can decide what you want to do about it.”

“Okay.” Mila wasn't sure she wanted to hear it, but if it would help her understand what had happened, maybe she could at least gain closure.

“James said he told you about Cindy. I had no idea. He never said a word. Until I confronted him on the phone a few days ago. Did he also tell you that our father had a habit of getting women pregnant and then paying them off to keep them quiet? Or that he offered to do the same with Cindy?”

“What?” James had said nothing about it. Not that she'd given him a chance.

“It's true. There are probably people walking around out there who have no idea that Michael Rothsberg is their father. Or that they have half-siblings.” She paused. “James didn't say it outright, but I think that's why he broke off your engagement. So that he didn't become like our father, unwilling to face the consequences of his actions. If Cindy was pregnant, he wanted that child to know who its father was.”

Mila gulped. It all made sense. Had she made a huge mistake?

“You're my friend, Freya. Couldn't you have asked him those questions back then?”

“When? After you'd left for Brazil and said you never wanted to hear James's name again?” Her shoulders twitched. “I was just as angry at him as you were, Mi. Then, after you came back to LA, I thought that bringing up the past would just hurt everyone involved.”

She touched Mila's hand. “But now...I think he loves you, Mi. And this time, no matter how hurt you might feel, I don't think you should let him get off quite so easily.”

Easily? None of this was easy. Would things have been any different if James had indeed told her the truth six years ago? She searched her heart.

No. Probably not. But now? Was she going to just let him drop a bombshell about their past and then walk away a second time?

Actually, he hadn't. She'd told him to leave. And he had. If he'd tried to express his undying love for her, she probably would have thrown it back in his face. She hadn't been ready to forgive him.

And now?

“What should I do?”

“Do you love him?”

Mila nodded.

“Can you live with what he did, knowing why he did it?”

Could she? She searched her heart. She hadn't known about his dad. Or about Cindy. But James was a man of integrity, she'd seen that time and time again. He'd been trying to spare her in the best way he knew how.

“Yes. I think I can.”

“Then if I were you, I'd hunt the man down and make him grovel. A lot. And then I'd forgive him.”

Mila smiled. “I think I'm probably the one who needs to do the groveling. At least this time. I pushed him away, Freya, and didn't even give him a chance to finish explaining.”

“Then maybe you should press Rewind and give him that chance.”

“Maybe I should.” She reached out and grabbed her friend up in a gentle hug. “But first you have to tell me where he is.”

“I can do better than that. Zack knows this guy...”

By the time Freya had finished laying out the plan, Mila found something seeping into her heart that hadn't been there for the last six years: hope.

CHAPTER TWELVE

S
OMEONE
 
WAS
 
CHASING
 
HIM
.

James had just pulled up anchor, not to mention pulling his head out of his ass and finally acknowledging what his heart had known all along. He couldn't live without her. He didn't know exactly how to make this right but he had to at least try.

He wanted it all. And that included Leo.

He'd hurt her twice. Once by leaving her at the altar, and once by sleeping with her before he'd told her the truth about what he'd done all those years ago. He wouldn't blame her if she told him to get the hell off her doorstep—well, technically it was
his
doorstep since she was staying in his guest house. That was if she hadn't already left.

Leo calling him Papá so soon after he'd told Mila the truth had been the last straw. He hadn't earned the right to be called that by anyone, least of all a young boy who'd known pain and fear most of his life. His reaction had been to run, instead of fighting for what he wanted.

But he was done running. Done allowing his life's course to be charted by his father's sins. And by his own past.

James was going to find Mila and tell her exactly what he'd wanted to tell her that day in Leo's hospital room. That he loved her. That he wanted to make this work, and he was willing to do whatever it took to make her forgive him for what he'd done.

He glanced back again. The dinghy was still there, bouncing over the choppy waters and zigzagging to avoid his wake.

What the hell? James was moving under his engine's power. He could just ramp up his speed or set his sails so that they would catch more of the wind and pull away from his pursuer with ease. It wasn't a coast-guard vessel. Maybe it was a member of the paparazzi, looking for more dirt on the Rothsberg family. As if there wasn't enough already.

And if the person decided to follow him farther offshore? They could get themselves into a situation that could turn deadly. He wasn't willing to risk it. It would be better to just cut speed and give the fool a piece of his mind.

Just then his phone pinged, signaling he'd received a text.

Perfect.

Suddenly, the normal stab of irritation was replaced by nerves. Or maybe a premonition.

Forgetting about the person behind him for a moment, he glanced at the screen of his cell phone.

Would you mind slowing down so I can catch you?

He blinked and looked closer. Mila's avatar was displayed at the top of the message.

Catch him?

He looked back again to see the person at the wheel was now waving at him like a crazy person.

Damn it!

Mila. What was she...?

He immediately cut the engine and turned the wheel so the bow would face into the wind. By the time the dinghy pulled alongside, he'd dropped anchor and had come over to the side to yell, “Throw me a line.”

With hair plastered to her head and soaking wet from head to toe from sea spray, she was still the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. He'd been heading to LA to try to win her back. And she was here.

And she could have gotten herself killed!

She threw the rope, and James quickly lowered a couple of bumpers down the side of the sailboat to keep the vessels from slamming together in the current. He then tied the dinghy's line to one of the metal cleats on deck. Dropping the rope ladder he kept for swimming outings, he held it steady as Mila grasped the sides and began to climb. When she was close enough, he grabbed her hands and hauled her the rest of the way on board.

“Were you hoping to wind up like those Jet Skiers we ran into a few weeks back? What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was thinking I wasn't going to let the prince turn back into a toad for a second time.”

He blinked at her. Maybe that ride out to him had been bumpier than he'd thought. “Come again?”

“Never mind.” She took a step closer. “Freya told me what your father did to those women. What he tried to do to you.”

Leave it to his sister to interfere. Although this time, maybe she'd been right to.

He swallowed hard. “That is one person I don't want to talk about ever again.”

“You don't have to.” She reached for his hand. “Let's talk about us instead.”

A spark of something came to life in his chest. She'd said “us.” As in there might be a chance for him to undo the mess he'd made? “You basically told me there was no us.”

“I know. And I'm sorry. I should have heard you out.”

“I was just heading back to make you do exactly that. And to ask you to forgive me.”

“You were?” Her head tilted as if she was surprised.

“Yes.”

She laughed. “Well, I guess I could have saved myself the trouble of hunting you down, then, couldn't I?” She glanced down at the dinghy.

“Is that thing even licensed?”

“Of course it is. And I caught you, didn't I?”

“You did. You look like you've driven one of those before.” He had to admit she'd maneuvered the tiny boat beautifully.

“I have. Many times. In Brazil, while doing my medical missions.” Her face turned serious as she gestured at his boat. “I do forgive you, but now that I'm here I have to tell you this scares me a little, James. It always has, even when we were together.”

“What does?”

“The fancy boat, expensive fund-raisers, the world-class clinic.” She glanced again at the dinghy bouncing far below them. “That little boat...is me. It's what I'm happy with. I believed for six years that I wasn't enough for you, and I'm afraid—”

“Not enough for me?” He grabbed her and hauled her to him. “You were always too much. Too beautiful. Too kind. Too...everything. And I didn't want what I'd done to somehow touch you and destroy everything you are. Just like my dad destroyed the lives of who knows how many women and children.”

He kissed her cheek. “I never wanted kids, for that very reason. I'm scared too, Mi. Scared I won't be enough for Leo. For you.”

“You are. Of course you are.” She reached up and touched his face. “When I saw the way you looked at him...I knew I'd never stopped loving you.”

He gulped, a wave of emotion sweeping up from his gut and moving to his lungs. His throat. His mouth. He tried to speak and failed, so he shook his head and then tried again. “You love me?”

“Yes.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a tender kiss against his jaw. “Do you love me?”

“I always have.” That one thing he did know. And right now, it was the only thing that was keeping him going.

“Then it's time we both stopped running from the truth and found a way to be together.” She lifted her phone. “Text me back.”

“What?”

“Freya says you haven't texted anyone in six years.” She trailed light fingertips down the side of his temple. “So text me. Tell me you're going to stay with me this time—that you won't keep anything from me ever again. And...I'll believe you.”

James tipped up her chin and slid his lips over hers. Once, twice, three times until he was in danger of dragging her down to his cabin and making love to her then and there. But that's not what she wanted. She'd asked him to do something, and he needed to do it. To make them both believe this could work.

Taking her hand, he went over to the steering console and picked up his phone. He slowly depressed the letters on the keypad, and then for several nerve-racking moments stared at the words he'd typed, his thumb hovering over the Send button. He pressed it. Set the cell phone back on the glossy teak surface beside him.

A tiny lion roared from somewhere nearby, ruining the seriousness of the moment. Mila's phone.

Smiling, her eyes on his, she drew the instrument out of her pocket and stared at the screen.

The words he'd typed were seared into his head, he could almost hear them spoken aloud as her eyes skipped across the text.

I love you, Mila. You and Leo. And anyone else who might be tucked inside you in the future. Will you marry me? We can do the whole damn wedding ceremony through texts, if you want—vows included. Just say you want to be with me.

Moisture rimmed her eyes, one tear sliding down her cheek. “I do. I want to be with you.”

“Thank God.” He brushed the tear from her face and then took the phone and laid it beside his own. “And now that we've gotten that out of the way, we won't be needing those for a while.”

A smile came to her face. “No? And why is that?”

“Because I want any future communication to be up close and personal. Starting now.”

With that, James swept her off her feet and headed below deck, where he wouldn't need texts to tell her how he felt. He planned to show her. From this moment and far into the future.