A Texas Holiday Miracle (5 page)

Bradley looked at Lacey. “I’m really sorry about this.”

“Thank you, and thanks for the apology.”

They walked off, and Lacey and Emma went into the living room. “That was nice of Brad.”

“He’s a big baby.”

“Emma...”

“It’s true, Lacey. He’s crying like a baby ’cause he’s not gonna get an Xbox.”

Lacey sat on the sofa, flipping through the imaginary book in her head. “Let’s talk about belief.”

Emma hopped up beside her. “Why?”

“Because belief can be a powerful thing. If you believe strong enough, long enough, wonderful things can happen.”

“Like maybe there really is a Santa.”

Lacey tucked a stray curl behind Emma’s ear. “Could be. All you have to do is believe.”

“You’re getting really weird, Lacey.”

Lacey kissed the tip of Emma’s nose. “Just believe, that’s all you have to do.”

“I’ll try. But I know the truth and I can’t forget it.”

Lacey pulled Emma onto her lap, knowing they had to talk about something much more important. She had to tell Emma about Pepper.

Chapter Five

“Sweetie—”

“Are you mad at me, Lacey?” Emma interrupted, resting the side of her face against Lacey’s chest.

“No, I’m not mad at you.”

“But you punished me.”

That obviously stung a little. “Why did I do that?”

Emma played with the watch on Lacey’s wrist. “’Cause...’cause I disobeyed.”

“Yes, you did. But we talked about it and you’re not going to do that again, right?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

It was just too difficult to punish Emma, especially at this grieving time in their lives. Maybe she would get better as the years rolled on. Even though Lacey knew she had to be the adult and set rules and boundaries, she would rather that she and Emma be friends instead of Lacey being the stern disciplinarian.

“Lacey, Pepper is really sick,” Emma said, and it brought Lacey back to the present problem.

“Yes, she is.”

“But Mr. Gabe is going to take her to the doctor and the doctor will make her all better.”

Lacey tightened her arms around Emma. “I talked to Gabe, and Pepper is not going to get better.”

Emma looked up at her. “Why not?”

Lacey swallowed and glanced toward the ceiling.
I could use a little help here.

“Why, Lacey?”

“Because like you said, Pepper is really sick. She...she has cancer.”

Emma’s eyes rounded. “Like Daddy had?”

Their father had died of prostate cancer, which he had let go on too long. Taking care of Mona and Emma, he’d neglected his own health. The doctors had operated, but it had been too late. The cancer had spread.

“There are all kinds of cancer. I’m not sure what kind Pepper has, but it’s bad.”

“Is she going to die?”

The book in Lacey’s head was closed, and there wasn’t any reason to flip through it, because there was no answer. She’d read so many books about death and grief, and she still didn’t have the answer or the words to make the pain better. The person just had to deal with it. That was the really hard part, especially for a child.

She looked into Emma’s troubled green eyes. “Yes, Pepper is going to die.”

“No.” Emma buried her face in Lacey’s chest and cried. All Lacey could do was hold her and pray for the right words. Loud sobs racked Emma’s little body, and Lacey’s eyes filled with tears as she waited for the cries to subside.

She rubbed Emma’s back. “Pepper is in a lot of pain.”

Emma raised her head, wiping away tears. “I know. She shakes.”

Lacey drew in a deep breath. “Gabe is going to take her to a doctor, but he won’t be bringing her back.”

Emma’s eyes rounded even more. “Is the doctor going to put her to sleep?”

Lacey was startled at the question. She’d had no idea Emma knew about such things. “How did you know that?”

“Last year, Jimmy’s cousin’s dog had to be put to sleep. He was real sick, too. Jimmy said the doctor took away his pain and now he’s in heaven.”

Thank you.
She glanced briefly toward the ceiling.

“That’s what the vet is going to do for Pepper.”

“Then he’ll go to heaven and be with Zack?”

Lacey squeezed her sister, amazed at her insight. “Yes, sweetie. Pepper will go and be with Zack now.”

“I have to say goodbye.” Emma began to scramble from her lap, but Lacey caught her.

“Not today. Gabe is taking this really bad, so we have to let him have his privacy. Please understand that, Emma.”

Emma twisted her hands. “But...”

“You have school tomorrow, and when you get home you can spend time with Pepper and say goodbye. Gabe said you could.”

“’Kay.” Emma leaned against her and Lacey just held her as they both came to grips with the situation.

They ate dinner in silence, and then Lacey got Emma’s clothes and backpack ready for school the following day. Then they settled in to watch some TV, but Lacey’s thoughts were with the man next door. He really didn’t need to be alone. If she went over there, she felt sure her visit would be met with a big scowl. She would take baby steps with Gabe. In the days ahead she would make sure he wasn’t alone.

* * *

T
HE
NEXT
MORNING
on the way to school Emma said, “Don’t be late today.”

“I’m never late,” Lacey replied as she pulled into the parking lot of the Horseshoe school. Since the town was small, grades one through twelve were housed in one big building shaped like a horseshoe. There were portable buildings to the side for pre-K and kindergarten. A gym and cafeteria were situated at the end of the horseshoe. The metal buildings with the half-brick front had been there for years. Green shrubs enhanced the front. In the spring, colorful flowers would be blooming in the flowerbeds, planted by the agriculture teacher, Mr. Schuldt.

Kids ran to the front door so they could make it to their classrooms before the bell rang. Emma climbed out and so did Lacey.

“Be good today and be nice to your playmates.” She kissed her sister.

Emma fidgeted.

“Everything will be fine. I’ll be here early if that will make you feel better.”

“’Kay. Love you.” Emma followed the children into the school, her black-and-purple backpack flopping on her back.

Lacey got in the car and drove home, hoping Emma wouldn’t dwell on Pepper too much today. She seemed to be okay with what was happening, and Lacey wanted it to stay that way.

As she pulled into her driveway, she noticed everything was quiet at Gabe’s. No banging or sounds anywhere, which was unusual. He was usually outside by now working on something.

She made her way into her house, put her purse on the table and walked over to his deck. He wasn’t there. She knocked and got no answer. Everything was quiet inside. Where was he?

She went back to her house and across the yard to his front door. Again, she got no answer. She knew she was trespassing, but she didn’t care. Her only thought was of Gabe and his mental state. Without thinking it to death, she opened the double gates by the garage. That was when she heard the sound. A saw or a drill. She didn’t know which, but Gabe was working in his garage.

When she tried the garage’s side door, it opened easily and the sound was much louder. She stepped inside and saw Gabe working on a large box. Was that a coffin? Yes, there was no mistaking it. He’d made a coffin for Pepper. Her chest ached at the sadness of it all.

He turned off the sander and set it on the floor. As he did, he noticed her. She expected him to be startled or surprised, but he was neither. He just went back to working on the box.

Walking closer, she said, “I knocked, but you didn’t answer.”

He rubbed the plywood with a rag. “Did you want something?”

She curled her hands into fists. He was acting as if they hadn’t talked yesterday, as if they hadn’t shared something special, as if he wanted her out of his garage. That wasn’t happening. He was putting up every defense he could to keep her away so he could keep feeling the pain. That wasn’t happening, either.

“You’ve made a coffin for Pepper.”

“Yes. I’m not just going to throw her in the ground.”

The whole attitude thing had resurfaced, but she was good at kicking attitude.

“Did you call the vet?”

“Uh...”

She held up a hand. “Please, let’s not go back to the old animosity. Did you call the vet?”

He stopped rubbing the wood. “I was feeling down last night, but today I have everything under control.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” She glanced at his appearance. He had on the same clothes as yesterday and he hadn’t shaved. “Have you been to bed at all?”

He went back to fiddling with the wood. “I don’t sleep much.”

“Because that’s when you dream.”

He stared at her. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I don’t have to. I know you’re barely hanging on emotionally, and you don’t sleep because that’s when you dream about your son. I’ve been there and I’m still there, and I’m still trying to cope. And I have to because I have a little girl who needs me.”

“Well, I don’t have anyone, so would you please leave me alone?”

She stepped closer to him. “No, sorry. I can’t do that. I promised you I would be here to help you with Pepper.”

Their eyes locked. His eyes were cold and dark, emitting a message that she received all too well, but it still didn’t deter her.

“I relieve you of that promise.”

She shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“This is my house, and I’m asking you to leave.” Anger flashed in his eyes. Her first instinct was to turn and walk away and let him live in all the pain he had created. But something beyond her control made her lay her hand on the box.

“This is really nice. Zack would be very proud of his father.”

Gabe froze, just as she had expected. She’d said Zack’s name on purpose, because it was the only thing that caught his attention.

“Are you dense? Get out of my garage.”

A tremor ran through her, and she knew she couldn’t continue to be stronger than she was. It was taking everything she had to stand her ground. She didn’t know what would have happened next if Pepper hadn’t come into the garage.

“Oh, Pepper is better.” She went to the dog and stroked her.

Gabe glared at Lacey and she continued to pet the dog.

“The medication helps,” he said so low that she barely caught it.

“Did you call the vet?” she asked one more time.

“Yes. And he said he will come to the house in the morning at ten and do the procedure here.”

“That would be much better and less stressful on Pepper. And you.”

“I’m not worried about me,” he snapped.

“I’m well aware of that.”

Pepper whimpered.

Lacey hugged her. “Are you in pain, girl?”

“She wants to go outside.” He wiped his hands on a rag. “Come on, Pep. We’ll go outside.” Gabe walked past Lacey through a door into a utility room. Pepper trailed behind, but she wobbled. It was clear she was very weak.

Lacey had the choice either to walk out the garage door and retreat to her house or to follow them. She did the latter. In the kitchen, Pepper’s strength gave way and she sank to the floor. Gabe picked her up as if she weighed no more than a feather and carried her out the back door.

Lacey was dumbstruck by the scene before her. The kitchen had a table and one chair. The counters were bare; nothing was on them. It looked as if no one lived there, except for the dog dishes on the floor. She gasped as she saw the wall.

Photos of a brown-haired little boy covered it, from the day he was born until the day he’d died. Zack in a crib, crawling, walking and holding on to Gabe’s fingers, on a tricycle, then a bicycle, a skateboard and doing numerous other activities. Zack’s life was on this wall.

She peeked through the doorway into the living room. There was a sofa, chair and a TV on a box, but she didn’t think it was plugged in. And another wall dedicated to Zack. Gabe had made his house a shrine to his son. It was the most depressing thing Lacey had ever seen. She shook off the morbid feeling and went outside.

Pepper was curled up in her bed and Gabe sat in a lawn chair, watching her. Lacey took the other chair and they sat in silence, much like Gabe and Emma had yesterday.

Pepper laid her face off the side of the bed and kept a close eye on the backyard. “She likes it out here,” Lacey said.

“Yes, but sometimes it’s too cold.” His voice was similar to yesterday, so she kept talking.

“I didn’t know a vet would come to the house.”

“I didn’t either, but I like the idea much better than Pepper being in a strange place.”

Since he seemed to be in a better mood, she suggested, “I can sit with Pepper if you’d like to take a nap or...a shower.”

He rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his hands together. She waited for sharp words to hit her.

“I...I think I will take a shower.” He went into the house without another word.

Lacey exhaled deeply. How did the man keep going without sleep? And then it dawned on her that that was the reason he was so grouchy. She might be in over her head with Gabe, but she couldn’t make herself turn away from someone in need.

Pepper moaned and stretched out. Lacey eased to the deck and sat by her, stroking her. The poor thing was in so much pain, She was glad Gabe had made the right decision for the dog. She just hoped it was the right one for Gabe.

* * *

G
ABE
SHOWERED
QUICKLY
and decided to shave. The crazy lady was annoying the crap out of him, but in a way she was holding him accountable for his actions. He didn’t need her telling him what to do. He didn’t need her at all. He...was lying to himself. He’d reached out to her last night because he was losing control of his faculties. There was only one thing to do concerning Pepper, and he had needed someone to give him that push. It just happened to be the lady next door. Now he had to get rid of her, because he could handle this all by himself.

After changing into clean clothes, he went back outside. He paused in the doorway. She was sitting on the deck talking to Pepper.

“I bet you’d like to chase squirrels. My friend had a dog, and when we took her to the park she would spend all her time chasing squirrels. It made her happy.” Pepper raised her head as if she understood, and the woman kept talking. “Oh, you like squirrels.” Her voice dropped to a tone of sadness. “I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, but it will get better soon. And there are a lot of squirrels in heaven, I’m sure.”

“Do you really think she understands you?” He couldn’t keep the derision out of his voice.

She looked at him. “I choose to believe she does, Mr. Garrison. It’s all about belief.”

He returned to his chair. “Please don’t talk to me about religion.”

“Oh, please, like I would dare.” She pushed to her feet, and he couldn’t drag his eyes away from her slim body. That surprised him, because he didn’t really want to see her. He tried to remember her name and couldn’t.

“I’m talking about believing that there is a better place for us when we die. I have to believe that because I know my father is in a better place than the hell he was in here on earth.” Her voice wavered, and he felt a catch in his throat, an emotion he hadn’t felt in ages.