She shrugged. “I hold my own, I suppose.”
“Doesn’t matter. I would have fed you.”
She didn’t anticipate the response his simple proclamation would have on her. She squeezed her legs together when a tingle grew in her pussy. She tried to ignore it. “I’m perfectly capable of feeding myself.”
His eyes narrowed. “It’s not a question of ability, Jayne. Rather, it’s a matter of desires. I want to feed you.”
The word
desire
coming from Elias’ lips fired far too many lustful images in her mind. Jayne hoped the darkness of the room hid her blushing. “What about after dinner?”
Elias didn’t answer immediately. Instead he studied her face intently. “Are you sure you want to know? The answer may disturb you a bit.”
Jayne struggled to respond. Disturb her? She doubted there was anything Elias could do or say that would bother her. “Tell me,” she whispered.
Elias sat up slowly. “Come here.”
She was confused. They were already sitting next to each other, no more than a few feet separating them. “I’m here.”
He patted his lap, his meaning becoming clear.
He wanted her to sit on his lap? She blinked rapidly. Had she understood that correctly?
“Come here, Jayne. I don’t like to repeat myself.”
His words, his tone, sealed her fate. Her resistance melted away. Standing, she took the two steps required then paused again, trying to determine how to proceed.
“Open your legs and straddle my thighs. I want to have this conversation face-to-face. The seat of the chair is wide enough to accommodate the position. It’s one of the reasons I always sit here. It fires the imagination.”
He’d chosen his usual spot because of
this
? This position? This fantasy? She straddled his lap, easing her knees down to rest outside his upper thighs. Her chest was nearly touching his, their faces so close she could smell the scent of Scotch on his breath.
Elias grasped her ass and pulled her closer, until her pussy touched the obvious erection beneath his dress slacks. She gasped for air, finding none.
“Breathe slower.” He imitated the concept, sucking in a deep breath. She mimicked the inhalations, matching her pace to his until it came easier.
He touched her cheek with one finger. “That’s better.”
“What’s going on?” she muttered, more to herself than to Elias.
His finger drifted to her lower lip, his gaze seemingly mesmerized by the spot. “You know.”
It was a simple assertion. And true. She did know. They’d circled around each other, this moment, for years. “Why now?”
His eyes lifted to capture hers. “It’s time. The excuses have run dry.”
She considered that. “The age difference?”
His face told her that wasn’t an excuse he’d ever considered. “Does that bother you?”
She shook her head. “Not at all.” Unfortunately she couldn’t figure out what had been holding him back. “Then what?”
“Your innocence.”
She frowned. She wasn’t a virgin. Then her suspicions regarding Elias came to mind. Perhaps she
was
innocent. “I’m not afraid of what you want.”
He didn’t answer. Instead his fingers grazed her neck, finding the pulse point there. “Of course you are. But that fear won’t stop you.”
It wouldn’t. Nothing could stop this runaway train. It had been careening toward this moment for far too long. The moment of impact had arrived.
“You are incredible, Jayne. Beautiful. Smart.”
She’d received compliments from past boyfriends, but nothing anyone had ever said to her meant more. Elias’ opinion mattered. She searched for a way to return the kindness, but her words failed her. “I-I don’t know what to say to—”
Elias placed his fingers against her lips. “I want you, Jayne.”
“You do?”
“You know what I like. What I need.”
She nodded. Elias had never spoken in words the truth of his darker nature, but he’d certainly dropped enough hints over the years. He was a Dominant, and by some freakishly wonderful quirk of fate, he’d finally decided he wanted her. “I’ve never submitted to anyone before.”
He knew that. He’d alluded to it when referring to her innocence. But it didn’t matter to him. She could see it in his face, his eyes. He’d teach her, lead her down the path she’d fantasized about but never thought to travel.
He smiled at her admission. “I want to be your first.”
She started to tell him that ship had sailed her junior year in high school, but she knew he wasn’t referring to some thin membrane that was there and gone in the blink of an uneventful night. In this, he would be her teacher.
But there was something else nagging in the back of her mind. The sensible part of Jayne was stepping forward, flashing warnings she found hard to ignore. “Just tonight.” She meant her words as a condition, but unfortunately she’d placed too much inflection on the last syllable. It came out as a question.
He shook his head. “No.”
She tried again. “Elias, I want to understand…” She paused, searching for a word but nothing came, so she used a generality. “
This
. To try it. But I’m not certain I’m made for anything longer than the single experience. It’s a fantasy for me, but I’m not sure that will translate into a lifestyle.” God. She was saying it all badly and making some fairly large assumptions. Elias hadn’t specifically said he wanted more than a short-term affair. But inherently she knew he did.
She waited. Elias didn’t seem inclined to answer. His eyes darkened as he studied her face and his fingers tightened slightly against her thighs.
Then at last his expression cleared. “What I want to do with you can’t be shared in just one night. I’m not interested in rushing this, opening a door and then closing it after only a peek inside. I need more from you than that.”
“You think I’m submissive.”
He smiled. “You have submissive qualities. And I’m certain that fact offends your feminist independent side. Being submissive doesn’t make you weak, Jayne.”
Too many conflicting needs reared their heads. She wanted Elias, wanted to sample what he was offering. But she’d spent too many years in a household where the man’s word was law. Her father had ruled the roost with a firm hand. Jayne had sworn she’d never live in anyone’s shadow—ignoring her own desires—simply to please a man the way her mother had. She had indeed seen weakness and she’d vowed she wouldn’t follow that path.
“I can’t give you more than one night.”
“Of course you can. But perhaps it would be wise to start small since you’re nervous.”
She was pressed against him intimately and wanted to tell him there was nothing “small” about what she felt lurking beneath his pants, but she let him continue.
“So we’ll place a number on it. How many times would you be willing to bend your will to mine in the bedroom?”
“One.” It was a lie. She was just being difficult.
Elias didn’t appear to take offense. “Ten.”
She shook her head. “Three.”
“Five nights,” he countered.
Jayne licked her lips. Elias was offering her a chance to explore her sexuality within the confines of a set time frame. She’d be a fool to refuse something she wanted so badly. Her attraction to him had grown so much over the past three years, it sometimes made her lightheaded with need. Her chest tightened with nerves and anticipation. Rather than speak, she merely nodded her assent.
“Your safe word is Scotch. If you’re uncomfortable with anything I ask you to do, simply say that and I’ll stop. At that point, we’ll discuss it before carrying on.”
“Scotch.” The word tasted better on her lips than the foul drink. She tried to restrain her schoolgirl giddiness. They were moving forward. She didn’t have a clue exactly where they were going, but she loved the way Elias looked at her, undressing her with his eyes. She felt desirable. Sexy.
“Take off your blouse. Slowly.”
She started to glance over her shoulder toward the street behind them. The blinds were drawn and they were hidden from view, but shyness crept in anyway.
Elias placed strong fingers on her chin. “No. Keep your eyes on me and do as I say. Let
me
worry about our surroundings.”
He was asking for her trust. Elias had spent years earning her faith in him. He’d offered her advice, support and friendship. He wouldn’t hurt her or let her down.
She nodded. “Okay.”
His eyes softened. “Your blouse.”
She lifted her hands, her fingers tackling the first button. They shook slightly but Elias didn’t appear to notice. Instead, his gaze remained steadfast on her actions and each inch of bare skin she slowly revealed.
When the last button slipped from its mooring, he helped her slide the cotton over her shoulders, dragging the shirt away, letting the material fall to the floor.
She resisted the urge to cover herself, forcing her hands to remain by her sides. Unfortunately, the heat of her embarrassment and unease inched higher. She was grateful for the darkness, hoping it hid her damn blushing. It was a lifelong curse of being an introvert, someone uncomfortable around strangers. While working at Books and Brew had helped her overcome that shyness a bit, too much still lingered.
The childish physical response made her feel silly. He’d been right to think her innocent.
Elias reached out and ran the backs of his fingers along the top edge of her bra. It was a delicate touch, but it took her breath away in its intensity. His gaze moved from her breasts to her face. “Take off your bra.”
Air seeped from her lungs as panic and excitement warred for supremacy. The moment was steeped in anticipation and fear of the unknown. How far did he intend to take things tonight? Would they have sex? Here? In the bar?
The past three years had crept by, every second lasting an eternity as she’d longed for this moment. Now that it was here, it was moving far too fast.
She must have hesitated too long. Elias’ eyes narrowed and he tilted his head slightly, impatiently.
The unspoken warning was enough. She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. Elias didn’t help. He expected her to bare herself to him. She’d never wanted to do anything more.
Or less.
With a hand holding the cups in place, she used the other to slide first one strap and then the second off her shoulders. Elias studied her progress.
Her heart raced as she slowly peeled the silky material away. This time, she was helpless to hold back her nervousness. She lifted her hands, covering herself.
Elias scowled. “No. Put your hands down.”
Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her mouth dry. She hated her body. She didn’t think she was different from most women in that regard. She wasn’t pencil-thin. Her breasts were large and not the slightest bit perky. Most mornings she woke up and wondered where this lumpy woman had come from, constantly vowing today would be the day the diet started, the exercise regime was instituted. Then she’d succumb to the lure of a doughnut or a piece of pizza or McDonald’s French fries and the promise to lose weight was cast off, becoming one of tomorrow’s goals.
Her hands didn’t move. “I’m afraid I’m not—”
“Don’t.” The word was spoken too loudly, too harshly. Jayne jerked in response as Elias’ face darkened. “Don’t make a disparaging comment about your body, Jayne. Ever. Or you’ll learn firsthand how I correct subs who misbehave. And believe me, your safe word won’t save you in that regard.”
Sub? God. She knew his intentions, but she hadn’t thought through the implications, the vocabulary.
She was going to be Elias’ submissive. He would be her Master. As long as they kept it within the set time frame, she was fine with that. In fact, she wanted the experience so badly it hurt.
“Put your hands down.”
She responded without thought. Elias only had to use that deep voice, issue that strong command, and she reacted on instinct.
Submissive. He was right. Though she kept waiting to feel the pinch, the shoe fit. A little too well.
Elias wasted no time in exploring the flesh she’d uncovered. His eyes took in every imperfect inch as he touched her. She was uncomfortable under his intense scrutiny. And aroused.
Please let him find me desirable.
She squeaked softly when he pinched one of her nipples. The corner of his mouth lifted. “Your body is responsive, sensitive.”
“I…” She hesitated, wondering how much she should reveal. Then she realized it was pointless to try to hide anything from Elias. “I haven’t had sex in nearly a year.”
And that last time had been nothing to write home about. It had been a very sad, very dry year on the sex front.
“Why so long?”
“I’ve been busy with Books and Brew.” It was true. She and her friends had vowed to give the business three solid years of hard work and long hours before they considered hiring extra help. They were approaching the end of that commitment and business was good. There was a light at the end of the tunnel.
“That doesn’t appear to have been a problem for Stephanie, Jordan or Sophie.”