Billy’s adorably confused look almost made Liam weep with the need to plough into his cute little ass. It was all too easy to picture flipping Billy over, jerking those sweats down and slamming his cock deep into the smaller man’s hole. It was also too easy to believe doing so www.total-e-bound.com
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would be the end of anything meaningful developing between them. Of the many things Xavier had to say in regards to Billy, the fact that the blond had always viewed himself as a tool for other men’s pleasure had resonated in Liam’s mind ever since.
He couldn’t help but wonder if Billy was reaching for his cock out of some sense of obligation rather than pure desire. And since he didn’t know, Liam simply couldn’t let him.
He wouldn’t be another man who used Billy.
Billy’s forehead wrinkled slightly as he frowned and pulled against Liam’s grasp.
“But—I owe you—”
Liam’s stomach rolled as he stepped back and released Billy. The blond looked up at him with a heartbreaking expression of bafflement. It reached something deep inside Liam, some part of him he’d always kept walled off, untouchable so as not to be hurt by a lover. He backed up until his legs smacked the chair behind him, then he sat and studied Billy for a moment.
Billy couldn’t seem to hold his gaze, instead darting looks at him then quickly looking away. Finally he spoke, his voice quavering with every word. “I don’t understand…”
Liam didn’t either, but that didn’t give him an excuse to be like every other man Billy had been with. He didn’t know what he wanted, but he didn’t want to be another person who used Billy.
“I thought you…you wanted me,” Billy whispered, and now the hurt in his voice was impossible to miss. He picked at the tie on the sweats when he turned away from Liam, and Liam was hard pressed to stay seated. He only managed it because he was very much afraid if he didn’t, if he got up to offer Billy comfort he’d end up doing just what he shouldn’t.
Instead, Liam struggled to find the words to explain. It wasn’t easy when his dick was hard and too much of the blood he needed to fire his brain into gear was halfway to his ankles. But he tried. Leaning forward, his expression earnest, Liam reached out and touched the back of Billy’s hand. Just a quick touch, barely one, even, but it had Billy’s gaze shooting back to his as Liam pulled away.
“I do, but not like those others you take into the bathroom of the club.” Liam scooted to the edge of the chair, unable to resist Billy’s lure. “Tell me, has anyone ever bothered to take you home, to make love to you all night, until your muscles are too weak to move, until you can’t do anything other than moan because, even sated, you crave more? Has anyone ever www.total-e-bound.com
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taken the time to—” Liam snapped his mouth shut, stunned to realise the l-word had almost slipped past his lips.
He hadn’t known Billy near long enough for a confession of love, but, even so, Liam didn’t need to ask to know there’d been no else who’d ever loved Billy, with the exception of Xavier. Xavier had explained the nature of his and Billy’s relationship, and it had eased some of Liam’s aggressive feelings towards him. Which was probably a good thing; he’d seen the way Xavier had kicked Randy’s ass. Liam wasn’t sure all his training could save him from the same fate if he lost it and swung at Xavier—unless he got Xavier drunk first. Xavier had explained how being shit-faced had led to him getting the worst part of a whipping the night his office got torn up.
What sounded a lot like a sob from Billy snapped Liam back to the present. Billy’s eyes were wide, glistening with moisture and lit by so much fear and hope that Liam felt it like a punch to the gut. He shook his head so jerkily Liam at first thought there was a physical problem, then the first tear slipped free and Liam forgot about his needy body as he sprang up and sat on the bed.
In a manner of seconds, he had Billy settled on his lap, held in arms that ached to comfort him. Billy sniffled and burrowed his face against Liam’s chest as his thin arms hesitantly looped around Liam’s neck. Liam tipped his head down and nuzzled Billy’s blond and blue hair, inhaling the citrus and chemical scent of styling products, then he held Billy tightly as the smaller man quietly fell apart.
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The trip to Liam’s hotel was kind of a blur since Billy hadn’t quite managed to get his head together yet. Maybe getting the crap knocked out of him had done something to his normally sunny disposition, or at least shattered the shield of it he used to make people think he was happy. Whatever, he was confused as hell, but he couldn’t tell Liam no when he’d asked Billy to come with him.
Billy was used to being rather…hyper, but he was jittery now, which was different. He couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the one question pounding away at him, and he finally decided there wasn’t a reason to ask, so he looked at Liam, admiring Liam’s profile for a few seconds before blurting out what he wanted to know.
“What’s going to happen when we get to the hotel?” He sounded a little breathless, which was okay. He didn’t mind Liam knowing he was nervous. Really, though, Liam made him feel like the air was too warm and too thin, as if he couldn’t draw a deep enough breath.
He made Billy’s heart race and all his hot spots throb. He didn’t see how any of those could be bad things.
Liam risked looking back at him for a second before returning his gaze to the road.
“What would
you
like to happen once we get back, Billy?”
The question stumped him, because it wasn’t his needs or wants that were specifically ever addressed by men he hooked up with at the club. Sure, his needs were part of it, but not the priority, for him or them. So this question threw him for a loop at first, until Liam’s hand came to rest on his thigh, not close enough to touch his dick, but the promise was there, wasn’t it?
Billy looked down at Liam’s hand and wondered if he dared. He really wanted to feel it cupping his package, even if that’s all Liam did, just…just held it there. It might well be enough to make him come at this rate. But Billy wasn’t sure he could ask for a touch to his cock as well as the other thing. He wasn’t sure he could ask for either.
“Billy?” Liam’s voice was low and rough, but laced with an affection Billy didn’t know how he’d earned. “What do you want? I need you to tell me so I don’t…I don’t push for anything you aren’t ready for.”
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Billy didn’t have a freaking clue what he wanted to happen. He wanted to be taken like some love interest in a romance story. He wanted to jump Liam and take
him.
He wanted…
God, he just
wanted!
But he was afraid of screwing up.
Liam sighed when Billy remained quiet, then Liam added, “Why don’t you think about it and let me know when you feel comfortable, okay? Nothing more than showers, eating, and sleeping have to happen at the hotel—although I would like to hold you while we sleep, if it’s all right with you.”
It was, but he didn’t say so. Instead Billy reached for Liam’s hand, but, rather than nudge it further up his leg, he folded his fingers around Liam’s and held on. It’d be so easy to go for the quick release, but was quick what he really wanted? Billy knew it wasn’t, that was just fear trying to give him an out. If he came now, in the car, he could plead exhaustion or fake sleep or whatever and not have to risk anything happening in the hotel. Liam wouldn’t do anything Billy didn’t want him to.
So what
did
he want? Billy’s butt cheeks clenched as his hole pulsed.
Well,
that
didn’t
take a genius to figure out!
But did he dare? The truth was, Billy didn’t really think he liked anal sex very much. When he’d lived on the streets, he’d had to occasionally give his ass up if he couldn’t get out of it without risking serious harm.
Those experiences had not been pleasant. The sexual interactions he’d had since then were mainly limited to hand and blow jobs, although there’d been a couple of times when Billy had given in and allowed someone to fuck him. Those times he’d been scared, and it’d seemed better to give in than risk being forced.
Maybe it wouldn’t have come down to being raped, but Billy had been afraid to risk it, not only for himself but because Xavier would have probably killed anyone who hurt him.
Billy knew he’d been tense those times, unable to relax since he hadn’t really wanted to be fucked, which had no doubt contributed to the whole discomfort/pain he’d felt. But it could be different with Liam, couldn’t it? Billy darted a glance at him. Not a hint of impatience showed in his expression, or what Billy could see of it, and Liam hadn’t moved the hand on his leg even a hair higher.
Liam had said he wanted to make love to Billy. It would be different from bending him over and taking pleasure rather than giving it. Making love implied there’d be more stuff that felt good. At least Billy thought it did. What would it hurt to try? Surely the worst that www.total-e-bound.com
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would happen would be what had happened before—it’d hurt a little and Billy wouldn’t come.
But there was the chance he might like it, might finally find out what the fuss was about. He understood the appeal of a hand job or a blowjob or even of rubbing off, those were things he’d done with other men before. Anal, though, was always kind of frightening.
Intellectually, Billy knew there were plenty of people who liked it. He just wasn’t sure he could be one of them.
Billy waffled as Liam pulled into the hotel lot and parked the car. Was he strong enough to try this, to give Liam and himself this chance? The solemn mood that had settled over him began to lift as he thought of Liam’s big body, naked, slicked with sweat, covering Billy, grinding against him then wedging his cock against Billy’s hole and slowly pushing in.
He couldn’t imagine it being awful, couldn’t imagine Liam calling him a cock-slut and smirking as he sated himself. All he could envision was lots of deep, sweet kisses and the way Liam would hold him, as if he were something to be treasured.
And there was no way Billy wanted to miss out on an experience he might never have a chance at again. For the first time today, Billy’s smile stretched his lips fully as anticipation made his skin prickle. He waited until they got out of the car, Billy sliding over the bench seat to follow Liam out of the driver’s side, which seemed to please the other man immensely if his grin was anything to go by. Billy let himself be helped out then he leaned against Liam and pulled his head down. Billy let his lips brush over Liam’s ear as he gathered his courage and whispered, “I want what you said you’d give me in the hospital, t-the making love part?”
Even though he tried to sound confident, he couldn’t keep from stuttering over a word or two, or making the statement into a question. Liam’s raspy exhalation warmed the side of Billy’s neck, then Liam’s arms came around him and his fingers teased at the small of Billy’s back.
“Are you sure?” Liam asked, “because you don’t sound like you are.”
Billy frowned and pushed himself up on his toes so he could better nibble on Liam’s earlobe. “I am sure, I just… I don’t know if I’ll like
that
part.”
Liam grabbed him and stepped back so quickly Billy let out a whimper of protest. He started to ask what he’d done wrong, but Liam’s confounded look had Billy tongue tied.
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“What do you mean? You’ve never had…” Liam glanced to either side of them before pinning Billy with an intent stare. “Anal sex? You haven’t done been penetrated there?”
Oh.
Well, Billy could see where he’d just given such an impression, and he was in a hurry to right the wrong assumption before Liam got scared away. Some guys just didn’t want to mess with virgins, but, since Billy wasn’t a virgin, Liam didn’t need to panic.
“No.”
Wait, that’s not what I meant!
“I mean, no, you’re wrong because yes, I have,” he rushed out after the first denial. Billy’s nerves had him stumbling to explain; he could only hope it made sense. “I have, really. A few times, maybe like six?” Billy knew the exact count; there was no maybe to it. “I just didn’t like it. I don’t… Well, maybe I’m wrong and I really don’t like it but I think it was more the—the other guys—”
Crap! I probably shouldn’t talk about
past fucks, although the way Liam growls is kinda sexy…
“I don’t think they knew what they were doing, you know? It was all about them, and maybe I couldn’t relax or whatever, or they didn’t use enough lube or—”
Billy’s gasp was swallowed by Liam as Liam gently but thoroughly kissed away his babbling. Billy clung to Liam, sinking into the feeling of being cared for, of mattering to someone who wanted him. It was a novel experience, and one Billy didn’t think he’d ever get tired of. And it was so very different from what he’d known up until now.
Liam lifted his mouth from Billy’s. “We need to get to our room then I’ll show you how good it can be when you’re with someone who actually gives a damn about you.”
For some reason, the anger in Liam’s voice didn’t scare him. Billy knew it was directed at the others, the ones who’d made him so skittish, although he believed he bore at least half the blame for that as well. He could have stood his ground, after all, instead of giving in. But it was in the past, and he wasn’t going to dwell on it. Instead he smiled up at Liam, and if he bounced a little who could blame him?
“Okay, Liam. Make love to me.”
There was a lot for Liam to think about in regards to Billy’s confession, but now wasn’t the time. If he dwelled on it, he’d only get angrier and then he’d start asking for names, and…and he didn’t want to spend this time with Billy doing anything other than making him feel good, inside and out.