A Boy Worth Choosing (The Worthy Series Book 2) (8 page)

“Everything okay in here?” he asks with that voice that says it had better be.

“Yeah, Dad.” I say, regaining my composure. “Mom was just telling me how supportive she is of my relationship with Jessie.”

I storm over to the stove, carefully pick up the warm pot and give my mother one last look before leaving her in the kitchen.

“Thanks, Mom.”

Chapter Nine

~Jessie~

Okay, so it’s not like I expected him to drop down on one knee the very next day. But I would have thought that since we had both confessed our love for one another, and since he had practically already told me he expected us to be together forever, he would have proposed by now. Alas, we have not really progressed in the three weeks since that perfect day by the creek.

“But he told you that you were his future, right?” Daphne asks over a slurp of her strawberry lemonade. We decided to take a rare lunch together because I just need to get this off my chest.

“Yeah. We've talked short and long term dreams. Where we want to live. Heck, we even talked kids!”

Her eyebrows lift in surprise. She takes another long slurp of her lemonade, before swirling her cup around, trying to get the strawberry pulp to mix with what is left in her cup.

“Well I have no doubt that he will propose when he's good and ready, Jess. You have to remember, you have already decided you’re ready for the next step in life. Granted it was with a total toad, but your prince may need some more time spoilin’ his princess before turning her into a queen.” Her eyebrows pop up before she adds, “And starts creatin’ little princes and princesses.” She giggles. “Oh, your kids are gonna be so stinkin’ adorable!”

I know it’s a little early to be doing so, but I picture a curly haired blonde baby with the most stunning green eyes and totally think she’s right.

“Listen, give him time. You know he’s not going anywhere; enjoy this fun time. Because someday, you’ll look back and miss it. You’ll be beggin’ for time alone and you won’t be able to get it because there will be a bajillion little darlings running ‘round taking pictures and arguin’ over the quality of them.” She smiles at her little quip, but a flash of how Stephen and I have spent our alone time recently has me anything but amused.

“Ugh. The time alone is going to get us in trouble.”

She nearly spits her lemonade all over the table. She knows all too well what I mean. Last Friday she had come into my office to say good bye for the weekend to find Stephen and I very much entangled, and fortunately, clothed. There have been a few moments where shirts have nearly been disregarded, but one of us will come to our senses before we get too far. I just am not sure how much longer I want to wait. I know we need to, but I also know what I want.

“Hey, head back over here.” Daphne snaps her fingers, bringing me back to our conversation. “I know you two will know when the timing is right. But for the sake of the rest of us lonely pups who have to watch you two canoodle, I pray it isn’t too much longer. Really. It’s worse than having to watch teen dramas with a giggly Shelby.”

I literally laugh out loud. A few nights ago we had a girls night and Shelby made us watch
Twilight
AND
Eclipse.
She sat on the edge of the couch, hands drawn to her chest, eyes all glossy, and practically recited both movies by heart. It was more entertaining to watch her than to watch the horrible acting of the movies.

“I’m just sayin’, you two are just awkward sometimes.” She rolls her eyes at me as she signals the waitress for a refill. “Just do me a favor, and hang a sock or something on your office door the next time, will ya?”

***

I could totally spend all day kissing his tender lips, and the thoughts his touch invokes, well they aren’t very ladylike. He smells fresh and clean, like soap, and his hair is still damp from his shower at the gym. He came right over after his game, literally picking me up as I answered the door before sitting us on the couch.

Barely five words have been shared between us in the last fifteen minutes, but plenty has been said by the fact that we haven’t been more than five inches apart since he walked in. He had a good day, he missed me, he couldn’t wait to see me. I’m definitely getting the picture.

As his hands find their way to the skin of my back, a bold voice from within has started shouting at me. I need to remember the integrity we want for this relationship, so this make out session needs to end. And fast. I pull back, trying to create some space between us.

“What’s wrong?” Stephen asks, breath heavy and way too husky for
my
own good. His arms tighten around my waist pulling me back in. Reluctantly, I reach behind me to pry his arms away. I gently climb off his lap and sit down beside him on my couch, letting my knees still touch his leg. 

“I think we need to call it a night.” I run my hands over my face and hair. My fingers brush my swollen lips and I hear a soft groan from his side of the couch.

“You’re right.” He gives me a guilty smile as he runs his hands through his hair and my heart wrenches.

“I’m sorry,” I say timidly, not wanting him to be upset with me.

“What do you have to be sorry about? This,” he waves a finger between us, “is very much a two way street. But you’re right. We both need to rein in our self-control. We both have made very stern commitments to wait. So…we need to cool it down.”

“I agree. But…”

“But? What?”

I don’t know how to ask him what has been eating at me all day. Daphne’s reminder that he just may need the time comes back to me, so I decide to let the subject drop by shaking my head and trying to give him an innocent smile.

“We’re not having sex until we’re married, Jessie.” His voice is a little too firm, taking me aback.

“Oh, you can bet your sweet butt we aren’t.” I push up off the couch before I say something else I shouldn’t. Crossing my arms, I feel the heat flowing through my veins, sending me to pace behind the couch. He turns toward me with a scared look on his face. “But when exactly is that going to be, Stephen?” 

His face contorts with confusion. I don’t think he was exactly expecting me to ask this.

“Um, well. That is a good question...” He stumbles over his words, clearly not expecting to have this conversation. I immediately am sorry I asked, but I can’t help the staring, waiting for him to say something, anything.

“Jessie, I—“

My heart sinks. Again, not really expecting him to drop down on one knee right here and now, but I was hoping he would have had
some
idea as to when he would be ready. I feel my heart start to constrict but I don’t want cry over this.

“I think you need to go, Stephen.” My voice barely above a whisper as I try to hide the disappointment.

“Jess, I meant it when I said you’re my future. But it’s like you said, we need to take things one step at a time. Give me some time to enjoy this. I’ve wanted you for a very long time. And now that you’ve chosen me, I need to overcome the shock and awe before we go off and make some serious decisions. I want to do this right.” He stands and swiftly makes his way to stand in front of me. He reaches for my hand and pulls it to his lips.

His eyes look deep into mine, trying to assure me that we will be married all in good time. I try to will my heart to be patient, but the electrical currents flowing from his hand to mine are making it hard to be patient about anything involving him.  So I drop his hand and take a step back.

“I think I should go.” He leans forward and lightly brushes his lips across my cheek.

My breath catches and I know he hears it. Pain flashes through his eyes as he sees the sting his words have had on me. He makes his way to the door but stops as he reaches for it.

“I love you, Jessie.”

His tender vow cuts right through my heart, making me feel horrible for putting us on separate pages. “I love you, too.”

He isn’t gone five minutes before I start to feel bad about the way I handled that situation. I need to talk to someone who will understand me enough to see my side of the picture, but detached enough to play devil’s advocate. I need Stephen my best friend. He would be the one I would call, the one who would normally talk me out of being upset by means of logic and reason.

I pace through my apartment for almost an hour before I work up the nerve to call him.

“Hey,” he answers softly.

“Hey.” Neither one of us know what to say. After a few moments of silence, I sit on the edge of my bed and finally just go for it.

“I need to talk to my best friend, not my boyfriend. Do you think that might be possible?”

“Um… sure. One second.” There’s a quick pause before he speaks again. “Hey, gorgeous. Your boyfriend said you needed to talk to me?”

I smile involuntarily and decide to play along.

“Oh yes, but first, how are things? Work? Your parents?”

“Things are good. Work’s a little dull right now. Some jerk got me in a bit of trouble for something he did, so I’ve gotta wait for my promotion, but it’s all good. Mom and Dad are great. I met a girl. She’s pretty amazing.” The tone in his voice drops to the same as when he left, and I feel my heart start to bottom out.

“Oh really?” I’m not feeling all that amazing right now. “That’s great. Well, not about your delayed promotion, but the girl. Tell me, what’s she like?” I think a part of me wants him to tell me I’m a brat for acting like I did so that I’ll feel better. But another part of me wants to hear what makes me pretty amazing.

“Well, she’s…wait, you wanted to talk to me.” Busted. “What’s up?”

“Well, you see, I met a guy.”

“Oh congrats! What’s he like?” Sneaky boy. He’s fishing for compliments, not that he needs to. But I’ll bite.

“He’s pretty much everything I ever should have been looking for. Can be a little intense at times, but in a good way.”

“Oh?”

I stand up, and feeling the need to move, start pacing the space of floor between my bed and closet.

“Yeah, so for instance, he told me a few weeks ago that I am his future, like out of nowhere. And well, we’d only been dating a few weeks at that point, so I thought it a little bold of him to say. I mean, we’ve known each other for oh, a long time.”

“Okay.”

“So I took some time and reflected on what he meant, and I can see it too. But you know me. I have these well thought out plans—“

“Which sometimes don’t always go the way you want them to. In a good way.” I can hear the smirk in his voice. Oh, I’m sure he’s glad my previous plans didn’t work out the way they were supposed to.

“True. But you know, we’re not getting any younger, and well, I’m ready to take things to the next step.”

“And he’s not,” he says before immediately adding, “yet.”

“Exactly. What do I do?”

“Well, do you think you’re really ready? I mean you did just get out of a couple of really taxing relationships.”

“Yeah, but when I’m with him, it’s like they never existed. It’s like… I don’t know how to describe it. Like he is the only person I ever should have been with.” I don’t just say that because I’m talking to him. It really does feel like that, but like I said, I don’t know how to describe it to him.

“Hmm. Let me ask you this, when I say Jake’s name, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?”

I stop pacing.

“Cheater, but then I immediately think—“

“And Caleb?” he cuts me off.

“Not worth my time or energy.” My tone should speak for itself. I really don’t feel like I should have wasted my time with him.

“So you’re still upset with them?”

“Yes and no—“

“So you’re still trying to put some closure on both relationships?” he cuts me off again, and I’m getting a little frustrated that he won’t hear me out. I sit down again, trying not to snap at him.

“Kind of. But when I’m with you, I mean him, I feel like I don’t have anything to close on. Like it’s not worth my time or feelings to really revisit and overcome.”

“I disagree. What happens when I, I mean he, does or says something stupid that reminds you of either Jake or Caleb? Will you overreact because you haven’t dealt with what they put you through?”

“I haven’t ever and will never compare you, him, to either of them. He’s on a totally different playing field.” My tone gets a little sharp, but it’s the truth. Stephen’s nothing like either those two.

He pauses for a moment and I don’t know if it’s because he’s soaking in the compliment or if he’s really trying to understand what I’m trying to say.

“I still think you need to finalize and file them away. Get that closure. I think he deserves to know that there is no room in your heart or mind for anything they have said or done to come back and haunt you.”

I fall back onto my bed in frustration, wanting to argue my case some more because I honestly feel like this should be a non-issue. But I don’t because it’s clearly an issue to him, so I need to put some effort into proving to him that there is nothing he needs to worry. I just need to figure out how.

“So how do I show him that what has happened in my past has nothing to do with my future?” I ask quietly.

“I think it’s just going to take some time. But in the meanwhile, just enjoy what you guys have now. From what I hear, it’s pretty great. He sounds like he’s pretty awesome.” There he goes fishing for compliments again, but at least he’s starting to lighten up again. 

“Eh, he’s not bad.” I throw out nonchalantly.