A Cowboy For Christmas (A Copper Mountain Christmas) (9 page)

She smiled over at him and raised both eyebrows at him.
It was the smile that got him, and later when he could think of something other than how good she looked with her creamy skin, tight pink nipples and that small thin line of hair guarding her secrets, he’d remember it, but right now all he wanted was to explore every inch of her body.

He grabbed her ankles and placed a nuzzling kiss on each one and then slowly tugged her legs
apart, then slide up her body, caressing her with his entire body as he slid over her. His abdomen rubbed over her center and she squirmed underneath him. He wanted to caress every inch of her first with his fingers. God, her skin was soft. He wondered for a moment if his work-hardened hands would be too rough for her. But she captured one of his hands and brought it back to her breast. Holding it over her and making him squeeze gently.

He kissed her upper thighs and then her more intimate flesh. He parted her with two fingers and ran his tongue lightly over her core.
She started and her hips jerked up. Her hands came to the back of his head as he rocked his tongue over her and then he slowly sucked that pleasure bud into his mouth. Her thighs came up along the side of his head and she moaned his name in one long drawn-out sigh.

He tightened even more in his jeans and it took all of his control not to spill himself.
She tasted good too good. He couldn’t wait much longer to be inside of her. He lifted his head and saw that her skin was flushed her nipples taut, hard berries and her eyes were partially closed. Her head was tipped back and he wanted to remember her like this always. On the cusp of her orgasm she was beautiful. More beautiful than he’d ever seen her before.

He reached between their bodies to open his jeans and free himself, then he crawled up over her body, caressing her with his entire body, rubbing his chest over hers and then settling his hips over hers.
He meant to tease them both but his manhood found the opening of her body and slipped inside. Damn, she was so hot and so wet, he pushed himself all the way inside of her.

Drove into her until his entire length was buried inside of her.
He stopped and she opened her eyes and looked up him. She didn’t say anything but wrapped her legs around his hips, her arms around his back and leaned up to capture his mouth with hers.

The kiss was earthy and raw and touched something untamed in his soul.
He stopped thinking and just followed his instincts, which demanded he thrust into her again and again until he felt her tighten around him. Felt the first waves of orgasm against his flesh as she tightened her legs, arched her back and called his name.

He thrust harder and deeper, burying his head against her neck and sucking on the
pulse at the base of her neck until everything inside of her clenched and he came. His body emptied itself into her yet he couldn’t stop thrusting. He kept moving against her until he was completely drained and then wanted to collapse against her but knew he’d crush her if he did.

He wrapped his arms around her and rolled them to their sides.
He buried his head in her neck so that she couldn’t see the emotions he knew were on his face. He wanted to pretend this was just a way to assuage his curiosity from the past but he knew it was so much more. He was falling for her again. He hugged her close to his still-racing heart. He rubbed his hand over the back of her head and kept her as close as he could for as long as she’d let him.

In the flickering warmth of the fire, under the pretty lights of the Christmas tree, Carson admitted to himself that he wanted something for Christmas this year.
He wanted Annie and he wanted her to stay and be his. And he had a feeling that, even if Santa existed, that wish might be too much for him to deliver.

Annie closed her eyes to hide from Carson but also from herself.
She wanted to just cuddle closer to him under the pretty Christmas tree lights in front of the fire and let this fantasy become reality. But that same stupid flood of emotion that had overwhelmed her earlier was back. She wanted to be better than she knew she was. She wanted to be able to stay with him this time, and that scared her more than anything else in the world. She’d have to trust him if she did that and she wasn’t sure she could let herself be that vulnerable.

Damned if she was going to start crying now.
She had to keep it together. And she was just about doing that until he leaned down and kissed her temple with a gentleness she hadn’t experience in a man’s embrace before.

She tipped her head back and met his big-sky-blue eyes and inside something in her shifted.
And she realized that this man was starting to fall for her. She didn’t think she was fooling herself because in his gaze were emotions she’d never thought she’d see on anyone’s face. He cared for her and she thought of all the people who’d loved her over her life and how she’d always let them down.

It wasn
’t that she wanted to hurt him or herself but she had never had a relationship that didn’t end in heartbreak. She closed her eyes and rolled away from him. Trying to protect him, but also trying to keep her own heart from breaking wide open. It was awkward – the after-sex moment where they both stared at each other and realized they hadn’t used birth control.

“
Uh, I’m not on the pill,” she said at last.

“
Sorry,” he said his voice was gruff. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“
Me neither,” she admitted. “There’s a bathroom off the main hall you can use.”

“
Seriously?”

“
Sorry. I have no idea how to act now. I was married to Davis for ten years,” she said.

“
You don’t have to act any way, Annie. You just have to be yourself. Be honest.”

He didn
’t ask for much. Just everything. And she couldn’t give it to him at this moment. She was surrounded by the past and by Christmas and by everything that she’d left behind and never realized she’d thrown away lightly.

“
I’m trying,” she said at last, gathering her clothes and walking away from him. As soon as she was in her bedroom she sank down on the floor and just sat there clutching her clothes to her chest and feeling lost and alone.

She should have just kept her eyes closed and stayed in his arms.
But no, she had to get up and ruin the little bubble they’d been in. But that little bubble wasn’t reality as much as she wanted it to be. Carson had a life and family away from her house. And this was it for her. This and her job down at the Diner.

She knew she wanted more or something else.
And tonight complicated her plans. She hadn’t realized how smart she’d been to never sleep with Carson as a teenager. But now she did. Because that fantasy she’d been having all night, the one he kept feeding by talking about traditions was taking root in her heart. Making her pray she could be a different sort of woman. One who could be part of the fantasy in her head.

She forced herself to her feet and cleaned up.
She had the start of a hickey on her neck and she didn’t mind it the way she probably should. But she liked the thought of carrying something of Carson around with her.

She put her head in her hands.
She didn’t cry because she knew tears weren’t the answer. But she should never have had sex with him. Carson had been a complication before he’d entered her home and now he was even more of one.

She forced herself to leave the bedroom and heard Carson singing in her kitchen God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen with Rascal
Flatts. She stood in the doorway watching as he made hot chocolate at her stove. Rumple was at his feet with an ice cube between his paws.

She stood there for a minute, afraid to move forward and claim him and take a chance on him, yet afraid to back away.
Afraid to let him go. She knew there was a connection between them. There always had been and it had always been strong.

She wanted this to be real.
And she wanted to be woman enough to keep her cowboy.

And stopped herself.
This was real. There wasn’t anything fake about the evening. Carson wasn’t pretending to be a great guy—he was one and she just had to trust it—trust herself.

He turned to her singing,
“Each other now embrace... I was afraid I’d scared you off. I’m sorry if I rushed things tonight.”

She stepped into the kitchen.
“You didn’t rush anything. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a little bit scared by what happened.”

“
I’m sorry for that. This has been, well, one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time.”

He turned back to the stove and removed the saucepan from the flames.
She went to her pantry cabinet and took the pack of marshmallows she’d splurged on earlier in the week.

When she walked back over, he
’d poured the hot liquid into two mugs. She dropped the marshmallows into the cup and then tossed one on the floor for Rumple.

“
I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” she said, looking up into those blue eyes of his.

“
I’m sorry you are too, but it changes nothing. I still want you. I still want to know you better. And unless you tell me otherwise, I’d like a chance to see if we can make something that will last.”

His words were a balm for her lonely soul.
She’d been on her own since the day she’d left Marietta fifteen long years ago. But at the same time, they scared her. When she was on her own at least the only one affected by her mistakes was her.

Could she take a chance?
Could she risk hurting Carson or even his sweet little boy? Because he was asking her to be a part of his life and she knew she still wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay in Montana and live this honest, country life.

“
Can we take it slow?” she asked at last.

“
Considering we kissed for the last time fifteen years ago and just got around to making love, I think it’s safe to say we aren’t moving too fast,” he said.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The snow fell heavier and, even though she wished the storm would lighten up so she could push him to leave her place, she knew he was going to have to stay and she was happier than she wanted to admit.
She wished sometimes that she was simpler. That she didn’t get in her own way and make life so hard. But the truth was that she’d always wanted things to fit a certain mold.

And inevitably life never did.
Being with Carson was at once the answer to some secret dream she’d long held inside of herself, and also the scariest thing she’d ever encountered.

She hadn
’t been kidding herself when she’d acknowledged that it would be way too easy to just change into what he needed. Especially right now when life seemed so damned screwed up. She could just abandon her old self and become a new Annie in the image of whatever Carson needed.

Perhaps
be a mother to his young son and some kind of modern nineteen-fifties housewife. It appealed to her because she could just give up on fighting for her dreams while they lay in tatters all around her.

But then she looked over at Carson, where he sat next to her on the couch staring out at the snow and she knew he deserved better.
And frankly, so did she.

That left her with nothing but the tough questions and the hard decisions.
She could continue on like this, he wouldn’t push her for a commitment and she’d have some time with him and his precious son until Christmas.

Or she could be honest with him and with herself and let him know that she couldn
’t be his fairytale. That she wasn’t his princess and he couldn’t be her white knight because she didn’t know what she was hiding from or even if she needed to be rescued. It seemed that she was both the heroine trapped in the castle and the evil queen who put her there. And there was no easy way out.

Carson seemed like the solution but she knew in her heart he couldn
’t be. Because if she let him rescue her and she broke his heart, well, she was pretty sure she’d break her own too.

“
I can’t believe the storm blew in that quickly,” she said as her CD ended and silence echoed around them. “One thing I’ve always liked about snow is the quiet of it, but with that wind howling not so much.”

“
I like the storms,” he said, hugging her close. “It’s the one time there is nothing else for me to do except stay inside and stay warm. Something that is certainly not a burden when I have you in my arms.”

She snuggled down next to him, letting him hold her in those big arms of his and she wanted to say something else but for once she couldn
’t plan this. She didn’t want to ruin the moment by talking or thinking. Instead she just enjoyed the comfort that came from Carson.

She knew it wouldn
’t last and she suspected by the way he held her that he knew it too. She wondered if they were star-crossed lovers. Meant to always fall for each other but never get too keep each other.

“
Carson?”

“
No,” he said.

“
I haven’t asked you anything yet,” she said.

“
You have that look. Can we just enjoy the rest of this evening?” he asked. “I know that nothing is settled between us and you’re going to want to hash it out.”

“
How do you know that?”

“
Um…you’re a woman, aren’t you?”

“
That’s sexist.”

“
It doesn’t make it not true,” he said.

He had a point but she didn
’t have to like it. “I just don’t want to ruin anything. I feel like we’re friends again.”

“
We are,” he said.

“
And—

He pulled her down closer to her, put his mouth on hers, and kissed her until she couldn
’t think of anything but the way he tasted of milk chocolate and something that was uniquely Carson. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he lifted her onto his lap and rubbed his hands up and down her back.

He was a good kisser.
Not rushing this embrace but just taking his time with it. Suddenly all her fears dissipated and there was magic in the air. A sort of Christmas magic that came from the snow and the lights twinkling on her tree.

The scent of the pine log in the fire and Carson
’s cologne surrounded her and she almost believed that this was meant to be. That she’d been creating a problem that didn’t exist.

He stood up, carrying her easily in his arms and started down the hall to her bedroom.
He hesitated outside her door. “I’m not going home tonight.”

“
Good. I want one entire night with you,” she said.

“
I want more than one,” he said.

“
I know.” She put her head on his shoulder.

He didn
’t say anything else, just carried her into the bedroom that was lit only by the spill light from the hallway. He set her down next to the bed and slowly removed all of her clothing.

“
Take your socks off this time,” he said.

She bent over and took them off and then switched on the lamp on her nightstand to watch him slowly undress.
He looked better than a body had a right to, she thought. His muscles were heavy and delineated from years of hard ranch work. He had a washboard stomach with a very thin line of hair that led downward ...

She reached out stroked him and he hardened in her hand.
She drew him closer and leaned over to take him in her mouth. His hands went to the back of her head and rubbed over her skull while she caressed him with her lips and tongue.

He pulled away after a few moments and pushed her onto her back, coming down over the top of her and entered in one smooth swift motion. He thrust heavily into her again and again until her orgasm rushed over her and at the last minute he pulled out of her and came on her stomach.

She understood why he did, but it just made her a little sad as she thought that even he knew that this wasn’t something that could last forever. After they cleaned up, they crawled back in bed together and held each other as it were the last time.

Liz was waiting for Annie when she got off her shift at the diner.
Liz had been her best friend in high school they’d both wanted to get out of Marietta. Liz had gone to Hollywood to become a star and had done it. But something had happened and she’d ended up back here in Marietta, teaching drama to school kids.

Annie knew there had to be more to the story, but she had her hands full dealing with her own problems right now and she had a feeling that Liz would talk about it when she needed to.

“You waiting for me?” Annie asked.

“
I sure am. Imagine my surprise when my old high school friend moved back to town and didn’t even say anything,” Liz said.

“
We haven’t talked in like ten years,” Annie said, given that Marilyn had been giving her the cold shoulder and she’d gotten a less that warm welcome from most of the Scott brothers, she hadn’t realized anyone was happy she was back other than maybe Carson. “But I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was back in town.”

“
I know. Why is that?” Liz asked.

“
Life,” Annie said. “So we’re both back here where we swore we’d never be,” Annie said.

“
Funny the way it is,” Liz said with the same grin that Annie remembered from high school. She was still a uniquely beautiful woman with a beautiful face. Not classically elegant, but her features were stunning. “I actually could use your help.”

It was a little cold with the snow falling and Annie was on her way to meet Marilyn and her kids at park to start the Christmas Stroll.
She and her sister were trying to rebuild their relationship, but Annie was coming to realize that she wasn’t the only one with trust issues. “Do you mind walking with me?”

“
Not at all. Heading to the park?” Liz asked as she took a sip of the hot chocolate in the Styrofoam cup that said Copper Mountain Chocolates on the side. The town looked magical tonight all decked out for Christmas. At the end of Main Street she noticed a couple of sleds and saw Lane Scott holding the reins to one of them. It was hard to believe he’d lost part of his leg. He seemed so hale and healthy. The fact that he seemed happy and wasn’t running away just made her feel like more of a coward since she’d been dodging Carson’s calls.

“
Yes, you too?” she asked.

“
You, me, and everyone else,” Liz said, putting her hand on Annie’s arm to stop her from walking. “I need your help with the nativity play we are putting on.”

“
I’m not really that good at acting.”

“
You had a reality TV show, girl.”

“
That’s different and it was only for one season,” Annie said. Not at all surprised that Liz knew about her foray into television. It had ended the day the FBI had interrupted a lunch she was having and brought her in for questioning. “Do you know why it ended?”

Liz stopped and pulled Annie off the sidewalk.
“I do. I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

Annie nodded.
It was odd to have that part of her old life come up now and she realized that it was part of her past. She hardly thought of her that any longer. She’d been focused on redoing her house, rebuilding her relationship with her sister, and finding her place in Marietta. “I don’t know—”

“
It’s okay, Annie. I’m just saying I’m here. What I need you for is designing some sets for me. I have all my little actors and a lot of their parents have volunteered to help paint and build things but I need someone with a good artistic eye.”

Annie was tempted.
Even though she’d promised herself she wasn’t going to put down roots here. Not after the way she was busy trying to keep her distance from Carson. But Liz’s offer struck a chord deep inside of her... something that she’d been missing for a long time.

“
Okay, I’ll do it. What exactly do you need?” Annie asked.

Liz whooped and hugged her close.
“I knew you’d say yes. Here’s the script and I sort of blocked out a storyboard of some ideas. It’s rough.”

Annie took the script that Liz had pulled from her large Louis Vuitton bag and did a quick flip through the storyboard pages.
She was excited about the project. It had been a long time since she’d done anything creative. She’d been sketching on her breaks at the diner but this was different. “I think I know what you want. I’m working at the diner full time, you know. When do you need these?”

“
I can work with your schedule – I’m designing the sets over at my studio. Do you know where it is?”

“
No,” Annie admitted she’d been pretty busy working her shift and going back to La Terre De Reves to spruce it up.

“
It’s by the ballet studio. Here’s my card. Do you think you could have a rough design done tomorrow?”

“
No.” She’d be embarrassed to let anyone see something rough. She’d been such a prima donna when she’d left Marietta, and it was bad enough she was back in town but to put up a design that wasn’t her best—she wasn’t going to do it. She might have had to come back, but it wasn’t because she couldn’t cut it in the outside world.

Liz laughed again.
“Okay. I just need something for the parents to start painting and building. How soon?”

“
Let me look at this tonight after the Stroll and I’ll call you and let you know. It’s not that complicated, maybe three or four set changes.”

“
That’s what I was thinking but I’m open to your vision,” Liz said walking over to one of the trash bins to toss out her cup. “Thank you.”

“
I’m sorry I haven’t been a better friend,” she said.

“
I was being silly. We both had lives away from here and each other, but I’m glad you’re back. I found Marietta is where I’m meant to be.