Uncharacteristically, for her father had never been the
sort to wield his authority wantonly, Lord Sheridan had decided
that the v
icar could come to them for a small, informal service once
a month and occasionally both he and Mama would sally forth to show
their faces. The vicar might not like it but the church was on
Sheridan land after all and the family provided a living for Mr.
Priddle, so his opinion on the matter was very sensibly circumspect
and making the occasional pilgrimage up to Thorncroft could hardly
be considered a chore, even if the expression on the man’s face did
make it seem as if it was.
Rachel knew that her life would have been very different if
it had not been for the support of her family. After the
catastrophic events that had taken place during her one and only
Season, she
could
have been sent into the wilds of Wales to rusticate forever
with her Great Aunt Helen. Less fortunate females were frequently
banished in such a way, but there was never any question of it in
Rachel’s case. Her mother had been both sorrowful and disappointed
by the scrape that her eldest daughter had fallen into, but she had
put such feelings aside very quickly and had set about the business
of protecting her child from the cold wind of public censure.
Grateful for being blessed with such parents, Rachel had not
allowed herself to fall into the doldrums but had tried to repay
the kindness of her family by regrouping as swiftly as possible.
Indeed, insulated as she had been from the harsh opinions of
others, Rachel had genuinely learned to enjoy her life again, which
made her sister’s question all the more strange.
‘Do I not
look
happy, my love?’
‘
Oh, always. But you are awfully good at hiding your feelings
so I hardly count that as informative. I worry about you and I know
that Mama does as well.’
‘Good
heavens! Well, there is no need for either of you to do so, I can
assure you. I consider myself the most fortunate of
females.’
Charlotte
gave an inelegant snort. ‘Is that so? Because life has been so
enjoyable, cloistered as you are at Thorncroft?’
‘If I am,
it is because I chose to be. And I have been in very good company
during my exile.’
‘You did
not come to London with us,’ Charlotte reminded her. Rachel’s
insistence that she remain at Thorncroft whilst Charlotte had
enjoyed her presentation and her first Season was still a sore
point. What her sister had not realized was that three years was
not enough time for the scandal that had surrounded Rachel’s own
ignominious retreat from the capital to have subsided. As pretty
and good natured as Charlotte was, Rachel knew that she would not
lack for invitations if she went to London with their mother. The
presence of Rachel would have soured the experience, however, and
she had been desperate for her sister to enjoy an untroubled
Season, as untainted by association as possible. She could not stop
being Charlotte’s sister – nor would she ever want to – but she
could maintain the lowest profile possible. Rachel knew it would be
difficult enough for her sister if she heard the whispers that must
still echo from the past, without the ruined Miss Sheridan coming
along to cast a blight on things.
‘I
remained at home with Liza and Papa and had a wonderful time. You
know how pleasant Thorncroft is in the summer. Indeed, if it were
not for Liza’s madcap antics – must I remind you of the sad story
of the ornamental fish pond? – then it would have been practically
blissful.’
Charlotte
smiled reluctantly. ‘Well, Papa was certainly very glad that you
remained here. I swear, sometimes you are the only one Liza listens
to.’
‘Only on
my better days. And she listens to Mama if Mama puts on her Voice.’
Margaret Sheridan was the most placid of parents but one knew one
had exceeded her reservoir of tolerance when she used The Voice. It
could stop any of her children in their tracks, even James and
George who were settled with their own families and households.
Rachel reached out to take her sister’s hand. ‘For heaven’s sake,
do not worry about me beloved. Focus on the future, just as I do.
You and Adam will have a wonderful life together. It’s plain to see
that he loves you very much.’
‘And I love him,’ Charlotte
murmured. She hesitated for a moment, then
said with obvious reluctance. ‘I had a letter from Adam this
morning.’
‘
Now there’s a surprise! I’m only amazed it wasn’t two.’ Adam
had proved to be a frequent correspondent while he was away from
his affianced.
Charlotte
did not smile. ‘He made a request that he bring along his best
friend to stand beside him.’
Rachel
looked at her sister inquiringly. ‘I think that’s an excellent
idea. Even the best of men do find marriage daunting, I
believe.’
‘Yes, but
you haven’t heard who his friend is,’ Charlotte said doubtfully.
‘Worsley is coming. Apparently they were very close for a long
time. Well I knew that they were, of course, for he has told me so
but the earl has been away for so long that his name did not come
up very much. Their houses are quite close in Warwickshire, I think
and they played together a great deal as boys.’
Rachel was
surprised. She had not been aware of
this
piece of news. ‘Worsley has come back
from the Continent at last?’
‘Indeed.
Is it all right, Rachel? It is a last minute arrangement but of
course I am delighted to have a friend of Adam’s come along. I told
Mama when I heard, of course and she said that Worsley had once
been a suitor of yours.’
Rachel gave a
small grimace. ‘So he was. But it was a long time ago.’
‘
Sometimes,’ Charlotte observed with some asperity, ‘you make
three years sound like thirty.’
‘It
sometimes feels like thirty.’ Or like it was only
yesterday…
Charlotte
sighed. ‘Adam told me that the earl’s return has caused quite a
stir. He has been absent for so long. He also said that Worsley’s
mother is vastly relieved. She has been poorly and she was
beginning to think he would not come back to see her before she
died.’
‘
Good heavens! Is she so very sick, then?’
Charlotte
grimaced. ‘It is difficult to say. Adam says that she has been
sickly for twenty-five years and this may be just another
installment of a continuing saga.’
‘Oh, a
malingerer. Still, I suppose she must be delighted that he has
returned as he has been gone for such a long time,’ Rachel said
ruefully.
‘Does it
seem odd that he has been gone for so long?’ Charlotte inquired. ‘A
man in his position… I would have thought that he would not have
been able to absent himself for three years.’
‘I am
sure he had his reasons.’ Rachel murmured, giving the skirts of the
dress a shake. She hoped that those reasons did not include her.
She had more than enough reasons to regret the past and an absent
peer was not something she wished to add to the list of her sins.
‘You may step down from there, happy in the knowledge that your
height and the hem have remained exactly the same.’
Charlotte
stepped down. She was silent for a moment before speaking
again, the words coming out in a rush. ‘So will it be awkward, him
being there?’
It took a
moment for Rachel to take her sister’s meaning, another to consider
her response. Mama must have told her that Worsley had made an
offer for her and that she had turned him down. The week before
disaster had struck was still a bit of a muddle in her head –
shock, no doubt mixed with grief – but she knew the earl’s offer
had come only a few days before she had agreed to run away with
Dorian Salinger. She frowned, thinking back to her uncomfortable
interview with Worsley and images flashed through her head. His
tall figure striding towards her as she sat in the conservatory,
expression eager. Reaching for her hand and a rush of words. No
doubt it had all been dreadfully awkward. Even so, she did not
think that she could be held responsible for an absence that had
gone on for over three years. ‘People probably blamed me when he
left’ she said slowly. ‘And I daresay that I could have managed the
whole thing better. I was… surprised when he asked me to marry him.
Although,’ she added with a sigh, ‘I suppose I shouldn’t have been.
All the signs were there, were they not? I was just too preoccupied
to see them for what they were.’
This time it was
Charlotte who reached out to squeeze her sister’s
hand. ‘I do believe you were moonstruck for those few months during
that summer. You were certainly not the same Rachel I have always
known. You seemed… absent, somehow. As if you were constantly
thinking of something else.’
‘I was absent
and
a fool into the bargain,’ Rachel returned wryly. ‘A green,
unthinking fool caught up in... well, I suppose it was the same
thing poor Worsley was caught up in. I believed myself in love.’ At
her sister’s request some years earlier, Rachel had tried to
explain what had happened to her when she had fallen under the
spell of Dorian Salinger. Charlotte had been old enough to
understand by then and Rachel could not see the purpose of
withholding the events of the past. It would serve as a cautionary
tale, if nothing else. Even after time had passed she still
struggled to understand what had prompted her to act in such a way.
In hindsight, her behavior had been quite mad.
‘But it
was not love that you felt for Mr. Salinger… was it?’ Charlotte
asked softly. It was the one question she had not asked her sister
when they had discussed Rachel’s time in London. Now that she had
fallen in love herself, she found it hard to reconcile her own
feelings with what Rachel had described.
‘Dear me, no. I suppose I realized that quite quickly after
I had returned to Thorncroft. It made my own actions even harder to
bear.’ Rachel grimaced. ‘What I felt for Dorian Salinger was folly,
pure and simple. It was an… uncomfortable time but it passed. What
you and Adam feel for each other is entirely different. I am quite
sure it will
not
pass. Indeed, it will grow stronger and deeper over the
years. I could not wish for anything more for you.’
‘
But what about you?’ Charlotte asked softly. ‘You deserve such
happiness just as much as I do.’
Rachel shook her head. ‘I gave away any chance of that
eventuality when I ran away with an opportunistic adventurer,’ she
said firmly. ‘Do
not
feel sorry for me, Charlotte. You were all so good to me
after the event. You forgave me unconditionally. I am still
surprised that Mama and Papa did not pack me off to a
nunnery.’
‘Rachel!’
Charlotte was shocked. ‘As if they would have ever done such a
thing. They love you dearly.’
‘I am
sure there are many parents who love their children who would not
have tolerated such shocking behavior. I could have cost you your
future, you and Liza and whatever worthy endeavours my brothers
might aspire to. I know I upset poor George and James dreadfully.
Or rather, I upset James’ wife,’ she added with a slight wince at
the thought of James’ pinch-mouthed spouse.
‘Charity lives in a permanent state of upset,’ her sister
said staunchly. ‘I am sure that Liza and I were never in danger of
undergoing a rebuff, while George and James are already respectably
settled. Besides, the whole thing died away ages ago, something you
might know if you got out and about a bit more. If you would stop,’
she added, a little tartly, ‘locking yourself away at Thorncroft
and begin to socialize again, I am sure you would find that past
indiscretions have been quite forgotten. You have
no
social life, Rachel.
Do you intend to rusticate forever?’
‘I do,’
Rachel said firmly, knowing rather better than her sister that some
indiscretions were neither forgiven nor forgotten. It had been an
especially scintillating drama as she had been hailed the Season’s
Incomparable, the debutante who was predicted to make the most
outstanding alliance. As inexperienced as she was, Charlotte could
not know the full ramifications of her sister’s lack of wisdom.
Returning to London and going about as if nothing had happened,
especially in her spinster state, would be a dreadful mistake and
would create exactly the kind of interest for her family that she
fervently wished to avoid, especially now dear Georgie was
contemplating a career in politics. ‘I have no desire to go back to
London at the present time. Perhaps when Liza is being presented,
just so I can observe the ruckus she is likely to stir
up.’
‘Liza is only
nine years old!’
‘Time
enough, then. There is no reason why I should go back, anyway. If I
am desperate for the theatre or musical entertainment then there is
always Alnwick, which offers any number of diversions -’
‘Oh, any
number,’ her sister agreed dryly.
‘
- and I have every expectation of making frequent journeys
into Warwickshire to visit my beloved sister so I daresay I shall
be quite fagged to death,’ Rachel finished with a grin.
‘Y
ou
had
better
visit me frequently. I shall miss you all desperately and
will be longing to see familiar faces.’