Fanny’s heart raced, watching his tall frame in front of her as he led her through the staring crowd. It felt strangely absurd, him being there, and yet so familiar.
This was her childhood hero, the man of her dreams. She had more than once dreamt of him returning to her, and now he was here, and she had not a clue how to handle him. Or herself.
She’d never had a dream come true before.
Chapter 4
“You haven’t changed much.”
Fanny snorted but kept quiet. Let him try to have a conversation with her. She wouldn’t answer him with more than insignificant smiles. She would make him understand she didn’t care at all if she never saw him again.
A small part of her knew that was a lie. Well, most parts of her did, but what else could a lady do when interested in a man who was—or was not—courting your archenemy?
The dance parted them briefly, but she could feel his eyes never leaving her.
She knew she dazzled him.
Not with her beauty or wit but by being who she was. He’d had a difficult time keeping up an appearance of indifference with Rake and now, it seemed, an even harder time of it with her. He obviously remembered her all too well. What was it that kept his interest in her? Was it how the child of his memory suddenly had turned into a fully grown woman? That the woman was yet somehow still the little girl who had proposed to him?
The story of my life, she thought as she twirled, men who see me as a little girl.
“I thought you were the most adorable thing I had ever seen,” he said as they met again, startling the dancers close enough to overhear. “With all your curly hair, which seemed to have a life of its own, you made me think of you as a little fairy. It was only the dirty dresses you wore that gave you in and told me you were a mere human.”
“How nice,” Fanny said in her most timid voice, making him laugh at her.
“And you are just as adorable still,” he said smiling, and her silly heart fluttered.
“It must be the curls in my hair. You should really give my maid a compliment.”
The dance separated them again, but she could see his shoulders shake with laughter. She had a hard time holding on to her own indifference. The truth was she had wished for this day since she was five years old, and now when she finally had her moment, she was throwing it away.
Why pretend to give him the cold shoulder, when he apparently saw right through her? She had to admit she wasn’t the best of actresses, and she was a terrible liar. She had long ago realized she was better off sticking to the truth.
The dance took her closer to Devlin again, and this time she met him with a genuine smile.
“I’m not five years old anymore,” she said as their hands met.
“I can see that,” he said letting his eyes dart downwards for a small second, showing her the meaning of his words.
She laughed, as she was too used to her libertine uncles’ constant ranting to be insulted.
As the dance ended, he beckoned toward one of the lemonade tables with a question in his eyes, and she nodded and let him lead her through the dancers.
This part of the ballroom wasn’t as crowded as the rest, and Devlin led her to a sofa partially hidden behind a large plant. As they passed a table of refreshments, he took two glasses of lemonade in one hand, keeping the other on the small of her back.
She sat down and thanked him sweetly when he offered her one of the glasses. They sat silently for a while, sipping their lemonade and watching the dancers.
It was a contented silence, the kind you shared with a good friend, someone you were comfortable with.
“I didn’t recognize you at first,” he said breaking the silence.
“I know.”
“I know you knew,” he said with a smile, and she laughed at the silliness of their conversation. It was a familiar bantering, one she had had too many times with her brothers, and it made her feel at ease with him.
“Are you always attending the Easton Ball, Your Grace?” Fanny asked.
“Don’t call me Your Grace. You know my name.”
Fanny blushed and nodded.
“Are you, Devlin?”
He had a strangely distant look on his glorious face as he watched her, and she had to say her question again to make him hear her.
“Am I what?” he asked, apparently not at all listening to her.
“Attending this ball every year?”
“No, heaven help me if I ever will again.” He made a terrified face, and she giggled. “I’m not fond of balls. I find them rather boring. But I have been abroad for a couple of years and thought it would be a perfect way to announce I’ve returned for good. But most importantly I hoped I would meet up with some old acquaintances.”
“I will give you some advice,” Fanny said, giving him her most innocent smile. “It is really hard to meet good friends when one is hiding in the shadows of the balcony.”
His laughter filled the air, and she could see heads turning their way. Some people were slowly moving closer to them, and she guessed they wouldn’t be alone more than a short while longer.
There were just too many eager mamas out there, ready to throw their daughters at his feet, and they wouldn’t let something like a quiet chat between two acquaintances stop them.
“Well, I wouldn’t really call it hiding. It’s more like trying to remember why I thought it was such a good idea to be here in the first place.”
“So what do you think now, when you have actually entered the ballroom, although from the wrong entrance. Was it such a bad idea?”
He leaned closer to her, and the warmth of his arm pressed against hers.
“Now I think it was the best idea I ever had.”
He had completely misunderstood her question, as she was only thinking of him meeting Rake, but his eyes mesmerized her, and she forgot everything they were talking about. The only thing left was him and his smoldering gaze.
She had never been so aware of a man’s body, his eyes, and his breath. All she wanted to do was to lean closer to him, to fall into his arms, and then kiss him until they both were too dizzy to think.
A cough interrupted the intimacy, and Devlin moved back, looking up at the person who wanted to catch their attention.
Nicholas Pembroke stood there, his back straight, obviously very nervous and not at all comfortable with having to interrupt them. He bowed his head toward Devlin and murmured, “Your Grace,” before his attention went to Fanny, and he gave her a warm smile.
“Mr. Pembroke,” Fanny said, acknowledging him.
He held out his hand toward her, and she looked at it a little confused.
“I believe this is my dance,” he said, and she could sense he was starting to get a little unsure.
Fanny cursed silently, as she had all but forgotten she had promised him a dance earlier. She couldn’t back out of it now. She gave Devlin an apologetic smile before she rose and let Nicholas lead her onto the dance floor, where they merged with the other dancers.
In seconds Devlin was surrounded by his peers, greeting him. The last thing Fanny saw before he went out of sight was Charmaine hanging on his arm, offering him a peek at her generous décolletage.
“You are looking as enchanting as ever,” Nicholas told her, and gave her his warm and genuine smile. His compliment was for real, not something he said to impress her.
“You are so kind.” She smiled back. “But I do feel very pretty today, as this is my first opportunity ever to wear a ball gown.”
“Are you enjoying your first ball?”
“Oh, yes, indeed,” she replied cheerfully. “It’s more heavenly than I ever could have imagined, and you should know my imagination is ever so colorful.”
The dance routine separated them, and Fanny sent Nicholas a friendly smile as he moved away. Unfortunately, he misunderstood the meaning of the smile and couldn’t hide his satisfaction.
She closed her eyes, and cursed under her breath.
It was hazardous to walk the thin line between marriage and friendship, and she was bound to fail now and then. It made her a little sad that it was Nicholas with whom she had failed this time, as she really liked him and didn’t want to lose his friendship.
Nicholas Pembroke, a younger son to a resource-less viscount, had no other option than to marry an heiress. And to Fanny’s frustration, he had set his cap for her.
She liked him a lot, as he was too genuinely good for her not to. But she could never marry him. Her parents wouldn’t stop her if marrying him was her wish, but she knew she would never love him the way he should be loved and cared for. To love him as a brother was all she could offer him. There was no excitement in their friendship.
She knew he would come around and ask for her hand in the near future, and she dreaded the moment, because she didn’t want to hurt him. He was her friend, and she had no desire to deliberately puncture his hopefulness, but she had no wish to marry him.
Ah, but she knew someone who seemed very eager to become this man’s wife, and she couldn’t stop herself from probing a little.
“Earlier, when I was outside taking some air, I noticed you and Miss March taking a walk in the garden.”
She felt the muscles in his arm twist under her fingers, and she knew she had hit a chord. When he didn’t answer, she continued lightly, as if she wasn’t really interested in the subject.
“I have always liked Jane. She is one of the kindest persons of my acquaintance, and you know how hard it is to find someone among the
ton
who is interested in someone other than themselves.”
Nicholas laughed politely at her joke, but she could tell he didn’t find it funny at all, as he did it through his teeth.
“I didn’t know you and Jane were acquaintances.” Fanny tried to sound indifferent, but this time it was Nicholas who gave her a probing look. She hadn’t succeeded.
“We grew up in the same parish but haven’t met for a couple of years, as she has been living with relatives,” Nicholas said before he moved away from her gracefully, following the steps of the dance.
She had to wait until they were reunited to continue with her probing. She could feel there was a story here, and if it was love, no one could be happier for the couple than she.
Unfortunately, Nicholas too had questions, and as they were brought together again he changed the subject before she had a chance to open her mouth.
“I didn’t know you knew Hereford.”
This time it was he who tried to sound indifferent, but she could easily tell the importance of the question to him, and she had no doubts about why. Nicholas must have observed the attraction between her and Devlin, and he wanted to know more about this possible competitor for her hand.
“He’s a close friend of my Uncle Rake’s.”
“Oh,” Nicholas breathed, obviously pleased with Devlin having another reason for knowing her than being a suitor. “Have you known him for long?”
“I’ve only met him once before, when I was a small child, so I can’t say I have.”
“Oh.” This time Nicholas sounded less pleased, and she could tell he wanted to ask her more questions about her assumed relationship with Devlin, but etiquette stopped him.
They continued dancing silently, and when the dance was over, he led her in the opposite direction from where Devlin held court. She couldn’t stop a smile, as his action amused her.
As she settled on another sofa, the orchestra announced its last dance. It was only minutes until this year’s Easton Ball would be over. She could see her parents making their way slowly toward the entrance, and Caroline gave Fanny her you-better-meet-us-at-the-door look.
Fanny nodded in reply and stood again. Nicholas too had seen Caroline’s beckoning and was already on his feet, ready to take her to her parents.
Fanny guessed he was ready to do anything he could in his pursuit of becoming her husband, even fawn over her parents. His eagerness was honest, but she couldn’t forget seeing him come from the dark with Jane March.
It had been another Nicholas, an angrier and more dangerous-looking man than the polite and well-behaved man she knew. The other Nicholas had reminded her more of Devlin, and maybe this was the reason she found him more attractive and interesting than before.
She looked around and found Jane March sitting in a corner, trying very hard not to look their way. When Fanny met Jane’s gaze, the other girl blushed and seemed very interested in a plant that stood beside her chair.
Nicholas was certainly not looking at Jane, but somehow Fanny had a feeling he was very much aware of the other girl. There was a story here, and she was almost curious enough to ask him for it.
However, she knew he wouldn’t tell her anything, since she was, in his mind, his wife-to-be and not someone with whom he should discuss secret meetings in the dark with other ladies.
When they came to the doorway leading to the hall, Devlin emerged, making all thoughts of the other couple vanish like butter in the sun.
Lord, he is magnificent.
He gave her a grin that made her knees wobble. It was amazing, this power he had over her; just a grin made her want to hurl herself into his—hopefully—waiting arms.
It’s not fair for a man to be this gorgeous.
He was just too splendid looking. His dark evening clothes made him look so elegant and aristocratic, and it wasn’t hard to see he was a man with power, someone who was used to having things his way.
But underneath the glossy outside, danger lurked, just waiting for the right moment to attack. In her eyes it made him even more attractive.
He was a prize for any woman, and if the gossip was true, he’d had affairs with more women than one could count on two hands.
She wasn’t stupid; she knew there was more between a man and a woman than an overprotected virgin ever could imagine in her most colorful fantasies, but she had a distinct feeling she really didn’t want a husband who was known to too many women. She couldn’t help but dislike the notion of him having kissed a large number of the women in this very ballroom. It made her feel jealous and unsure, two emotions she usually never experienced.