A Hard Man to Forget (26 page)

She was a few feet away when she heard him murmur, his voice broken,
“Oh, God, Meredith.”

Something inside of her cracked at the sound of those words. She
froze. All the hope she’d felt when he’d come back for
her dissipated like the air from a deflated balloon. A stabbing pain
settled in her chest.

He hadn’t come back for her, Laura realized in agony. He must
have figured out about Dr. Walker. That was why he’d come back.
The only reason he had.

She was kidding herself to think that he loved her. He’d never
made a secret of the fact that it was Meredith he loved. The only
reason he loved her, Laura, was because of who he thought her to be,
not who she really was.

And she loved him. Now she knew the truth. She’d never loved
anyone the way she loved him. She’d waited her entire life to
feel the sense of connection she’d experienced with Simon the
first time she’d laid eyes on him.

And he wanted someone else.

Laura closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. She
couldn’t be a stand-in for the woman he really wanted. And she
couldn’t compete with a dead woman.

It was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. Somehow Laura
managed to turn and walk away.

And tried to forget that she was doing exactly what he’d
predicted she’d do all along.

Summer faded into autumn so slowly Laura didn’t notice the
change. One day she woke up and realized she should wear a coat to
work, and probably should have for days. Her life went on and the
days passed by. She picked up pretty much where she’d left off
when Simon had entered her life. The only difference was that she
felt adrift in a funk she couldn’t seem to pull herself out of.

It had been a month since she’d seen Simon, since she’d
left him that day at Dr. Walker’s office. At first, she’d
thought that she would miss him less as time went on. She tried to
tell herself that what she’d felt for him was simply a result
of the emotional situation they’d found themselves in, a
reaction to the belief that she was his wife. No one fell in love in
such a short amount of time.

A month later, with the ache in her heart more pressing than ever,
she was still trying to convince herself.

For two years, she’d thought that all she needed to do to fill
the emptiness she felt inside was remember who she was. Now she knew,
and she was more alone than ever.

She didn’t have Simon. She didn’t even have Jason, though
that loss wasn’t one she missed nearly as much. But those few
days with Simon, she’d been more alive than she’d ever
been, before or after her memory loss. Now that he was gone, she
found herself at a loss as to what to do with her life now.

Everyday at lunch she descended the courthouse steps and she would
give a furtive glance at the bench across the street. Everyday it
remained empty or occupied by someone she didn’t know. She
didn’t know what she was hoping for. She was the one who’d
walked away. It was for the best. Secretly she would have given
anything for one glimpse of him. In reality, she didn’t know
what she’d do if he turned up on the park bench.

And then one day he did.

She was halfway down the steps when she saw him.

Her breath stilled. She froze with her feet on different steps.

And there he was.

It was different from that first day she’d seen him. It was
cooler now, and the leaves were beginning to turn. Most children were
back in school, leaving the park quiet and still. The gentle rustling
of the trees in the wind seemed to roar in her ears.

Simon sat with one arm leaning on the back of the bench and one foot
propped on the opposite knee. A causal pose. Too casual. Tension
radiated from every inch of his body.

This time, it was he who tried a tentative smile and she who didn’t
return it. She couldn’t seem to get her facial muscles to
react. The sight of his smile warmed her inside and all she could do
was stare. She didn’t know whether to run to him or hurry as
fast as she could in the opposite direction. His return could either
mean greater heartbreak or the love she’d been waiting for.

In the end, there was no thinking about it. She naturally gravitated
in his direction before she knew what she was doing.

He stood from the bench and met her on the edge of the sidewalk. They
stood a few feet apart, eyes eagerly searching out each other’s
faces. Laura hadn’t thought it possible, but he was better
looking than she’d remembered in her dreams. Her heart felt
heavy in her chest.

Neither seemed to know what to say. Finally, Simon cleared his
throat. “You’re still using your temporary name.”

It wasn’t what she’d expected, but it seemed as good a
start as any. “It seemed like the right thing to do,” she
said softly. “Laura and Lisa are close enough, and at this
point, I feel more like Laura. I’ve been living her life for so
long. Lisa is someone who didn’t have a future. She was looking
for something to fill the emptiness in her life. Family, roots. If
this all hadn’t happened, she’d probably still be
looking. I like my life now. Laura feels like who I am.”

“So you’re happy?”

The question surprised her. There was an edge to it. She knew she
couldn’t answer honestly.

So she lied.

Nodding tightly, she said, “I’m happy.”

He cocked a brow. “Really? Because I’m not.” It
took him two seconds to cross the distance between them, to raise his
hand to her face and lift in into the warmth of the sun. His touch
sent molten emotion streaking through her limbs. She forced herself
not to roll her cheek into his caress.

She stepped back instead, surprising them both with her resolve. “I
can’t help you. I have nothing to offer you.”

“You’re everything I want, everything I need.”

“No, I’m not. You want Meredith. I’m not her. I
never will be.”

“I know.”

Laura raised her eyes, shocked out of her composure.

He went on. “I think a part of me always knew. There was too
much about you that didn’t fit with the way I remembered her,
too much that couldn’t be attributed to memory loss. You’re
stronger than she was, more fast-tempered. Funnier.” His voice
dropped. “More passionate.”

Laura flushed at the memory of their lovemaking. She remembered all
too well how she failed the fit the part of the fragile, demure
Meredith. “That doesn’t bother you?”

“Of course not. Those are the things I fell in love with. When
we first met, I was so angry at Meredith that nothing could have made
me love her again. Those were the qualities that drew me to you. I
thought it was with Meredith. But now I know it wasn’t.

“I fell in love with you.”

Laura felt tears sting at her eyes. He was telling her everything
she’d dreamed of hearing him say these last, long weeks. Yet
she couldn’t afford not to be cautious. She couldn’t go
through another separation like the one they’d just endured.

“I heard you say her name after Walker was killed. You were
devastated.”

Simon sighed. “You’re right. I was. I felt guilty. For
three years, I thought the worst of her. In reality, she loved me so
much it got her killed. She wouldn’t leave me, and he killed
her because of it.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. I loved Meredith, I won’t deny that. I know now
I wouldn’t have felt so betrayed if I hadn’t cared for
her so deeply. But it’s been so long and so much has happened
in the last three years. I’ve spent so much time being angry at
her and being so bitter over what I thought she did that I can’t
go back to the way I felt before. Part of me will always love her and
wonder what might have been. But I can’t live in the past. I
know that now. I’d much rather focus on a future.”

“Will won’t be happy. I think he likes you better when
you’re lonely and miserable. He thought Meredith was a
distraction.”

“Maybe it’s time for my partnership with Will to come to
an end. I’m ready for a change. I’m selling the house.
It’s about time to move on, I think.”

“Where will you go?”

“Wherever you are. If you’ll have me.”

A tentative smile touched his lips, and she could sense him holding
his breath.

There were tears in her eyes when she flung herself into his arms.
“Of course I will.”

“Thank God,” he murmured into her hair.

She silently seconded the thought. Her heart felt like it was ready
to burst from her chest from sheer joy.

The ghosts had been laid to rest, leaving only her and Simon and the
love they felt for each other.

“What took you so long?” Laura breathed against his neck.

“I had to put Meredith to rest.”

She closed her eyes. “Was she in the lake?”

“Yeah. Her body caught on some roots down at the bottom. It
took the searchers a while to find her but she was there. She was
buried yesterday.”

She pulled back to look into his face. “You should have told
me.”

“I know. I just wanted to put the past behind me first.”

“How did you know I would still be here? I could have gone back
to my old life.”

“It didn’t matter. I would have found you.”

His arms tightened around her possessively, and she knew the truth in
his words. The vow he’d spoken that night in her apartment came
back to her. She had no doubt it remained true. He wouldn’t let
her go, any more than she would let go of him.

Her heart overflowing with happiness, Laura leaned forward and
pressed her face to his. “I should have known all along I
wasn’t her.”

She felt his surprise. “How?”

“I would have remembered you,” she said without
hesitation. “Because if there’s one thing I’ve
learned the last few weeks, it’s that you’re a hard man
to forget.”

*****

If you enjoyed this book,
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Visit
the author online at
http://www.kerryconnor.com