A Little Christmas Romance (2 page)

A few more stragglers bring in their sleepy kids right before we close. When the last one
is finished, I glance around for Chris, but he’s gone. The smile slips off my face and I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed. Either way, that’s that. Chris is gone and I can head to the Christmas party from hell.

“Who was that?” Brittani finally asks as we clean up and get ready to close.

“Someone from high school.”

“He was so hot. Do you think he was serious?” Okay,
this conversation just crossed into Uncomfortable Land. I avoid her gaze as I bend over and unplug a reindeer. “Brooke, are you going to sleep with him?”

Before I stand up, I answer, “Of course not. He was only kidding, besides, he’s long gone.”

“No, he’s not. He’s sitting right over there, waiting for you.” What? Brittani points, and I follow her finger to a bench across the corridor. Chris is sitting there with his long legs kicked out in front of him, crossed at the ankle. “You go ahead. I’ll close up.” She smiles at me.

I want to protest, but I also want to talk to him
some more. Maybe she’s not an evil elf, after all. “Thanks, Brit. Merry Christmas.”

“You too.”

I grab my purse and saunter across the mall to where he’s sitting. Folding my arms across my chest, I stick out my hip, and glare at him. “Why are you still here?”

“Why do you look so hot?” I roll my eyes and turn to leave. Chris jumps up and is next to me be
fore I’m two steps down the hallway that leads to my car. “Brooke, wait.” He touches my elbow and sends a current straight through my heart. I don’t mean to, but I shake him off. What the hell was that? His blue eyes slip over my face, like he’s worried that he won’t see me again. “Let me take you to dinner. We can catch up. You can tell me about the one ring to rule them all, and I can tell you how much I’ve missed you.” He was always charming, but this is a bit much. It feels like he wants to say more, but he doesn’t.

I laugh, but it’s
of the nervous, defensive, variety. Chris looks at me like he can tell. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

His fingers brush my arm
, hesitantly, and a shiver rips through me again, making me feel like I licked a socket. “Which part are you contesting? That you’re dressed like an elf or that I missed you, because I think both points are pretty clear.”

Pressing my lips together, I stop walking just before the glass doors to the parking lot. The PA
system in the mall announces that it’s closing time and tells people to get out. A few shoppers rush past us with big bags. I bet their lucky kids get tape and rubber band balls because every store has been picked clean. The only things left are office supplies.
Happy Christmas, here’s a stapler
.

I bite back what I want to say and just push through the doors. It’s snowing. Great. My coat is in the car, so I sprint for it. Chris is on my heels, manages to catch up
, and snatches my wrist before I can get the door open. He yanks it hard, making me spin around to face him. He takes a step toward me and uses his body to pin me in place. Sparks shoot through each point of contact and short out my brain.

He lowers his face so that his lips are right by mine. “Have dinner with me.”

“No.” My voice is gone. It comes out in a breath of frozen air.

“Have dinner with me.” He says it again, but his voice sounds different. Chris tips his head to the side and inches closer to my lips, but he still lingers to
o far away to kiss me.

I don’t trust myself to speak
, so I shake my head once, slightly.

Chris
presses his forehead to mine. “Have dinner with me.”

A shiver darts down my spine, but it has nothing to do with the weather. My eyes dart between his mouth and the ground.
“Say what you really want, Chris.”

The smile fades from his lips. “I want you, Brooke.”

My heart flutters. He said exactly what I wanted to hear, but he’s said those words to lots of other girls too. “Thanks, but no.” Pressing my hands onto his chest, I push him away, and turn to unlock my door.

“You’re really going to drive away and leave me here?” He gives me a puppy dog face as snowflakes
land in his dark hair.

After unlocking the door
, I look up at him. “You really want to come with me?”

He nods. “Anywhere. Take me, baby.” He grins and then forces a serious fa
ce. “I mean it. Let’s go. Anywhere you want.”

Sucker. I point at the passenger door of my beat up old car. “Get in.”

Aunt Maureen nearly rips off Chris’ cheek
when she pinches his face. “He’s so cute! Where’d you find him?”

“At the mall. They had a dozen other models exactly like him.” Grinning, I wink at Chris.

He extracts his face from Aunt Maureen’s grip. “Oh, burn. I’m hurt. Seriously. You think this could be mass produced?” He presses his hand to his chest, like he’s a sight to behold, and he is, but Chris doesn’t need a bigger ego, so I don’t bother looking at him.

“You won’t have a face left after this. All these old ladies are going to
pinch it off. Oh, and stay away from Nick and Aunt Chrissy.” I start to walk away, but Chris reaches out for me, grabbing my wrist.

Nervously he asks, “Where are you going?”

I gesture to my outfit. “Elf, hello? Santa needs me.” I wink and disappear through the crowd of crazy people who happen to be my family. They’re loud and most of them are intoxicated. Add in the hyper children and the falling snow, and it’s a scary sight.

My cousin, Rachel
, grabs my arm. “Is that—”

“No.”
I cut her off before Chris hears and grab her arm, walking away from him as fast as possible.

“But it looks like that guy you used to have a
crush on. And he’s totally drooling over you.” Rach follows me back to Aunt Maureen’s bedroom. I’m supposed to help Santa in through the window. Hopefully no one will shoot his ass before I can pull him through. We aren’t in the best neighborhood.

I unlock the window and push it open. My cousin Jimmy is standing
outside, wearing a santa costume. “Brookie! Nice elf ears.”

“Bite me.”

Rachel is still needling me. “So, are you guys a thing? Have you seen his thing?” She giggles and sloshes the contents of her red plastic cup, as I try to push the screen out of the window. Jimmy makes a face and the screen falls.

“Nope and
no plans to, but if he’s lucky Nick is probably hitting on him right now.”

Rachel giggles, “Or Au
nt Chrissy. God, she’s a slut and he’s fresh meat. Both of them are going to be all over him since you walked away.”

Smirking, I turn and look at her. “I know.”

“You’re so mean.” Rachel looks at the window. “What the hell is taking so long? Where’s Jimmy?”

We both stick our heads out the window to look for him
, and get treated to a face full of snow. Have I told you that my relatives are asses? We both sputter, wiping the snow off our faces, and pull our heads back inside.

“You little shit!” Rachel screams at her brother
and points at her sweater. “This is cashmere! It can’t get wet.”

Jabbing my thumbs at my elf garb, I say,
“Polyester. I’m pretty sure this thing could survive the Apocalypse.” I brush the snow off the shoulder of her outfit. “There, it’s fine. No harm.”

“He’s still a
buttface.”

“Nice. That’ll show him.” Before I can say another word,
Rach tosses herself through the window and lands with an
oof
on the frozen ground. Jimmy laughs like a hyena and runs. I watch from the window as Rachel manages to slam into her brother and knock him to the ground.

The
bedroom door opens behind me and Chris rushes through with Aunt Chrissy behind him. There are hot pink lipstick smears on his collar that match Aunt Chrissy’s mouth. Chris’s eyes are wide with that panicked look that men get when they realize that my aunt is insane.

“Brooke,” he squeaks and rushes over to me. “Tell your aunt that we’re an item.” He has a pleading
look that is completely hysterical.

“We used to be, but he
just can’t get over me. You can have him.” I gesture for her to take him and look back out the window.

Chris’s voice jumps an
octave as he rushes at me. “She’s just teasing!”

I’m laughing at him. “You said you wanted to come.”

“I didn’t know they were all crazy.”

At that moment we look out at my two cousins in time to see Jimmy slip
on a patch of ice and go sailing across the lawn, and smack face first into a tree. He falls on his ass and sits there for a second before trying to get up. He’s laughing like he drank a box of wine before he showed up, and wails when he tries to put weight on his leg.

Rachel
wanders over to him outside, scolding as she walks. “Shut up! You’re too damn loud!” Her whisper-yell could wake the dead. The drink in her hand sloshes out of the plastic cup, leaving a trail in her wake.

God, they’re so
mental. Rachel looks back at me, offers an exasperated face, and points to the ground next to her. Shaking my head, I stay at the sill. “Yeah, I don’t think so. You deal with it and I’ll keep anyone else from jumping out the window.”

Rach
glares at me. “Wimp.”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

Chris is standing next to me, watching Jimmy try to stand up with Rachel’s help. When he puts weight on his leg, he yelps and falls over, pulling Rach down with him. I try not to laugh, and notice that Chris is suppressing a smile next to me.

He leans in, we’re shoulder to shoulder at the window, leaning on the ledge
and looking out. “So, your aunt really needs a door in here.” I’m about to reply when Chris yelps and spins around to see Aunt Chrissy right behind him with a grin on her pink lips. I’m pretty sure she pinched his butt.

She rolls her
eyes like we’re all stupid. “Get the santa suit and get on with it. The kids can’t see Santa hobbling around and then notice Jimmy with a broken ankle. It’ll ruin the whole thing and we’ll have a ton of kids crying their eyes out. Why the hell is he outside anyway?” It was supposed to be so he could surprise everyone. Snapping out the window, Aunt Chrissy yells, “Fork over the hat and jacket right now. The kids are waiting.”

“You’re going to dress up like Santa?” I ask my Aunt.

“Don’t be an idiot. He is.” She practically purrs the last part when she points at Chris.

Chris
laughs nervously and holds me in front of him. “I’m with Brooke. Tell her or I won’t do it.”

I eye him.
“You’d make little kids cry?”

He whispers in my ear, “I’m going to cry if you don’t get rid of her.”

Chuckling, I finally say, “He’s with me.”

Chris looks great in the santa suit, even though it’s a little bit too big. We have fun with the kids, sitting by the pink plastic Christmas tree. Chris is really good with them, and they’re practically rabid since they’re all jacked up on sugar cookies and eggnog—crazy little bastards—but Chris doesn’t mind. He lets them climb on him, and hands out gifts until every package is gone.

When
the little kids finally stop using him as a jungle gym, I can get close to him again. There’s a teasing comment on my lips, but I don’t get a chance to say it before Chris pulls me by the waist, yanking me up against his hard body in that soft santa suit. “So,” he says in my ear, “Did you intentionally abandon me to your horny aunt or was that a bonus?”

I feel the heat from his body through the suit and like the way his arms feel around me. Too bad it can’t go anywhere.
Chris is beautiful beyond words, and the pull I feel toward him is only normal. I mean, the guy is charming, hot, and cocky. That’s a trifecta so lethal that it should be outlawed.

God
, he smells good.

Glancing
over my shoulder, I see my aunt and laugh, before looking back at Chris. “It was a bonus, and a really funny one.” Flicking his fake beard, I add, “You make a nice Santa.”

He smiles at me
, but it’s not the flirty grin he throws around. It’s soft and pensive, like he really enjoys what he’s looking at. Releasing his hold on my waist, he looks away and tugs his santa hat down before running his hands through his hair. “Seriously, thanks for that.”

“No problem.” I glance at my watch and wonder if it’s too soon to cut out.
I feel like an emotional lunatic and no matter how hard I try to force the feelings away, they keep coming back. If it were possible, I’d cancel every holiday for the next three years just so I don’t have to deal with it.

Chris
turns so he’s standing next to me and bumps his shoulder against mine. “Got somewhere to be?”

“Not really, I just—” For a second I wonder if I can tell him, if he’ll understand.
My heart flutters and my stomach dips in a way that makes the pain real again. My mouth opens and snaps shut again, and I shake my head. It’s not that I don’t want to tell him, it’s that I can’t say it. I don’t want to admit it, and verbalizing the whole thing just makes it worse. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and see him watching me.

Chris steps back in front of me and looks down at my arms, which are folded tightly across my chest. My jaw is locked,
steeling me against the pain so I can swallow it back down. Chris touches my arms lightly. “Tell me, Brooke.” He offers a crooked smile, which makes me smile in return.

I don’t think about it. I just rip the words out of my mouth like a band aid, hoping it’ll hurt less. “Being here, now, it makes me miss her, you
know?” I hug my middle to try and seal the hole in my heart. Holidays suck and Christmas is the worst.

At least I have my aunts and uncles, but it’s not the same. My Mom won’t be around for stuff like this again. She won’t be
here ever again, and every holiday just reminds me of that fact. She won’t be here this Christmas, or Easter. She won’t be here to help me pick out a wedding dress or watch my non-existent kids grow up. She’ll never see their faces and she’ll never know that part of my life. She’s just gone. Her death left a gaping hole in me and I don’t know how to heal it, so I ignore it. I try to pretend that it never happened, because that’s all I can manage. But nights like tonight remind me of everything I’ve lost.

Squeezing my arms tighter, I mutter, “
Holidays are hard. That’s all.”

He nods
and steps toward me, shoving his hands in his back pockets. “Your Mom’s funeral was the last time I saw you.”

I
know, and I remember him there and at a loss for words. Before I left, Chris sat next to me on those long horrible days. One day I got in my car and drove away. I ditched my old life, looking for something new, something I couldn’t find. Eventually I came back, but I didn’t have the nerve to call him or any of my old friends after that. “I should have said good-bye.”

He glances down at me.
“That’s not why I said it, Brooke. I meant what I said in the mall.”

I roll my eyes.
“What? That you want to nail an elf?” That makes him smile, but it’s the sweet version and it feels more like a hug than a look.

“No, not that. I missed you. When I walked by and heard your voice, well, it was the perfect Christmas present.”
He puts his santa hat back on and tilts his head to the side, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. The expression makes me want things that I shouldn’t have.

Walls up. Come on
, Brooke. Don’t fall for his shit. All that charm isn’t Chris. I slap his chest to break the moment. “You’re a cornball. You know that right?”

“You have
intimacy issues.” He looks away, annoyed.

I nearly choke. “Me?” He nods and my voice gets
shriller. “Seriously? Me? I have intimacy issues? So what does that make you?”

He shrugs, but there’s a serene smile on his face. “I don’t know. Lucky.”

“Yeah, you were always getting lucky.” The bitter tone in my voice is too harsh, but I can’t hide it. It shouldn’t matter what he did or who he did. The truth is, seeing him scares me. He reminds me of the life I lost. He’s part of my past, but I buried my past along with my mother.

He doesn’t look at me.
“Not really. The one woman that mattered to me most, well, let’s just say I never even had a shot with her. I messed things up.” The placid smile stays on his face, and he looks at me. “There’s no such thing as second chances, huh?”

Second chances? Is he serious? There’s no way he had feelings for me. I must have hit my head one too many times.
I shake my head because I don’t know what to say. He liked me?

Chris doesn’t press me for an answer. Instead he
walks over to Jimmy, asking him if he needs anything. Rachel takes the moment to sit next to me as one of the little kids in the kitchen screams about bedtime. “He’s really into you.”

“No, he’s into everyone.”
I try not to watch Chris, but I can’t help it. I almost wish Rach was right.

Rachel bumps my shoulder, so I look over at her. “No, honey. He hasn’t flirted with anyone all night, except you.”

Glancing at my hands, I tell her, “Avoiding crazy people isn’t the same thing as being into me.”

Rachel pushes her hair out of her face and leans in closer. “He’s sitting with Nick and Jimmy. That’s the
epicenter of crazy, and he’s sitting there for you.”

Nick is my flamboyantly gay cousin and his hand is about to touch Chris’s back.
People are so nasty to Nick, especially because he’s so touchy feely. Some women have slapped him in the face for it, so it surprises me when Chris grabs Nick’s shoulders and puts him in a headlock. He ruffles Nick’s hair and shoves him aside while Jimmy laughs his ass off. All three guys seem happy.

Rachel sighs dramatically. “What do you have against the guy?”

“Nothing.” And that’s the truth. I have nothing against him, I just don’t want to have more people to lose. It sounds mental, but I’d rather be alone than be devastated when things don’t work out and he leaves. Or something horrible happens and I lose him entirely.

Yeah, I’m fucked up, but I’m dealing with it. This is the way I’ve learned to
cope with reality. I sealed myself away from the world. I’m picking up the pieces and most days I’m fine. But this isn’t most days, and I’m far from fine tonight. I volunteered to work, and I’d still be there if it was possible. It’s better than being left alone to think.

I
do my rounds, and say goodbye to Rachel and everyone else, before I grab Santa by the ear. “Come on Mr. Claus. Your wife will be missing you.”