A Magnetic Couple Dilemma (Unfinished Liaisons Series) (4 page)

"Oh, I see. They are really conservative, aren't
they?"

"Yes, you have no idea." He sounded worried for
the first time since Javier spoke to him.

Raul added. "Conservative, Catholic, Apostolic and
Roman, but still some don't appreciate the Italian blood."

Esteban commented, "We all descend from Celts and
Romans so I don't see the obsession with it."

"It gives them a reason to gossip and complain, you
know that." Raul remarked.

Javier told them, "Like your mom said, everything will
be all right, don't worry."

"I hope so, Javier. Let me see if Diego will answer
this time, he must be in the farmyard because he is not answering."

"A farm?"

"Yes, my aunt has a farm in South Jersey, and Diego is
helping her to transform the place to be used by a charity foundation our
family has."

"So he can inherit her fortune."

Raul had said this, and Esteban shook his head, looking at
Javier, before dialing his cell phone.

"Again, disregard anything Raul says about Diego, and
vice versa."

Esteban left a message for Diego and stayed silent for a
while looking ahead as if in reflection.

Javier got excited for this new adventure. He'd lived all
his life in Manhattan, and had never gone through the Holland Tunnel—one of the
two tunnels under the Hudson River connecting New York with New Jersey. He felt
they crossed it fast, because it was definitely shorter than the Lincoln
Tunnel, which he had traveled through in the past.

Soon they passed houses and tall buildings, everything
looked modern, like it had been recently built, and the many trees announced
why New Jersey was called the Garden State. It surprised Javier to see that it
was not only green that dressed the trees, but many shades of reds.

Raul entered a tall building that happened to be a parking
lot, and parked on the top floor. They walked into a mall and headed for the
food court. Javier noticed how every female's eye within their wake riveted on
them. The brothers didn't qualify as handsome, but they exuded sex appeal with
their strong masculine features. Their dark hair contrasted with light eyes,
and while Esteban was unpretentious, his calm stride displayed the length of
his muscular body.

Sitting on one of the many tables in front of a Chinese
restaurant, Raul said, "Enough Italian for today, I hope you don't mind,
Javier."

Javier shook his head, while Esteban remained thoughtful.
From where they were sitting, they could see the menus on the walls of the
restaurant, so everybody chose, and Raul went to get the food.

"I'm sorry, Javier," Esteban said as soon as Raul
was out of earshot. His voice touched him deeply.

"Why?"

"I invited you to come over without thinking that we
might encounter difficulties."

"It's okay. I was so bored before, this is great for
me."

Esteban's gaze fixed on his face and Javier found it hard to
keep it with his own. "I have an apartment in Diego's home, but I only use
it for storage. Since you're not in trouble, I can call Mom and you can stay
with them until Diego comes back, and after that you can stay in my place as
long as you want."

"What about you?"

"I don't know yet, I'm thinking of maybe leaving the
country for a while."

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong, right?"

"Nothing I regret, but I need to distance myself from
everything."

"Then take me with you, please?"

Javier spoke without thinking, and he could see the surprise
in Esteban's face. At that moment, Raul put a tray with beverages on the table,
and anything Esteban was going to answer was forgotten for the time being.

After they finished eating, Javier excused himself to go to
the restroom, and as he walked away from the table, before he could stop
himself, Esteban followed him with his eyes. He'd seen pictures of Javier
Lozano, but nothing had prepared him for meeting him in person. He knew Javier
was handsome because he'd viewed the wedding pictures Diego had shown him, but
Esteban never met anybody like Javier before. It wasn't only a matter of
physical beauty, although Javier's bone structure reminded Esteban of the
Hellenistic sculptures he had admired at the Vatican.

Javier oozed charisma and didn't know it, so he acted almost
shy and without any pretense.

He felt attracted to him as if they were both magnets,
everything about the younger man appealed to him. He'd resisted temptations
before, but nothing like this. And Javier was not helpless, he wanted to be
with him, or rather next to him. Esteban still remembered how his whole body
thrilled when Javier asked him to take him with him.

A few minutes after he left, Esteban could still picture
Javier in his mind with his short wavy chestnut hair framing his face and his
expressive light brown eyes, which looked at Esteban with a mix of adoration
and tenderness.

Raul waved a hand in front of his brother's face, winced,
and exclaimed with an index finger pointing to Esteban. "
Dear God! Esteban, y
ou're leaving the
church because of him."

The statement caught Esteban unaware, because in all honesty
it didn't cross his mind Javier had anything to do with his sudden choice.
"No. I'm leaving the church because I don't think I can do anything to
change it for the better."

"Yeah, right. Say whatever you want, but I'm not
stupid, man. And for your information, I never bought that he was Mauricio's
roommate only."

With those words he walked away to toss a paper cup in a
nearby wastebasket. When he came back to the table, Esteban stood in front of
him, face to face, and said slowly but firmly, "Raul, don't mess with
Javier, are we clear? If you say anything offensive to him, anything at all,
you will have to deal with me, got it?"

"Yeah. Threatening your brother over him, and you are
still denying it?"

One of the reasons Esteban thought his friendship with his
brother was positive, regardless of being tough at times, was because Raul
didn't play games. He'd always said what he thought, especially to loved ones.
Even if his opinion might hurt some feelings, and Esteban had a lot to learn in
that sense.

"Raul, you can mess with Diego all you want, because
when Diego can't take it anymore, he beats the hell out of you."

Raul raised a hand and clarified. "We beat each other,
but he plays dirty, scratching like a girl. The whore made me lose a
girlfriend, because my girl wouldn't believe I got all scratched in a fight
with another guy."

Esteban held a grin, and continued with a serious
expression. "See? You called him names, and wondered when Diego reacted.
The truth is I have to pick up some letters Mauricio left for me with
Javier."

"Letters? Written by whom?"

"By me. He's returning the letters I sent Mauricio
during the last twenty years."

In that moment, Esteban had another question to ponder. What
if Mauricio left the letters with Javier on purpose, so Esteban had to meet
him, and check on his well-being? Yes, that probably had been the plan, because
Mauricio could have returned those letters to him during any of Esteban's
visits. On the other hand, if he didn't meet Javier before, it had been all
Esteban's fault. At first, he avoided the encounter because he had been jealous,
and later because his spirit knew what he confirmed today, that Javier Lozano
could be his perdition.

He returned his attention to Raul, noticing his brother's
unusually thoughtful expression as he sat back in his chair. Sitting in front
of him, Esteban asked, "Raul, what's wrong?"

Raul looked at him and said in a serious tone. "I'm
stupid after all. All these years, I thought something was going on between
Diego and you."

Diego and Mauricio Alvarez had been their friends and
neighbors all their lives, and while Esteban had a great friendship with both
of the Alvarez brothers, Raul had always disliked Diego for being effeminate,
and thought that beating the gay out of him would work. In the long run, Diego
learned to fight back and Esteban concluded they enjoyed their bloody
arguments, so he didn't intervene anymore.

"Raul, I told you hundreds of times that there was
nothing more than friendship between us."

"I get it now. The real thing was between Mauricio and
you, right?"

Esteban concluded there was no point in denying it.
"Mauricio didn't want you to know, because he wanted you to preserve the
image you had of him of being like you."

Raul made a face. "Dear God! I was so blind. I
suspected something like that, but I never wanted to admit it, not of
Mauricio."

"I know that being close friends you consider this a
treason of sorts, but it was his life and his sexuality, so you have to respect
it, even though you probably would have a lot to say."

"What about you? I've thought your homosexuality was
unwanted."

"And it is, I've kept myself chaste all these
years."

"Whew! I'm not sure what's worse, you being gay, or
that silliness of chastity." Then frowning he asked, "What did you
write in those letters?"

"Nothing ever happened between Mauricio and me, so
there is very little romance in those letters. We only discussed books, some
controversial, but I have the right to read whatever I please, don't I?"

"Well, in your current situation, you probably should
be concerned. What if those letters fall in the hands of the press, eh? The
press can take anything and turn it around, and you would find yourself in a
compromising position. You're lucky the boy didn't sell them."

"No, he's not that kind of person. I've seen little of
him, but I can tell he's honorable. Besides, at twenty-five, he's hardly a boy.
"

"Esteban, are you serious about leaving the
church?"

"Of course. Why?"

"It would be good if you got some new clothes. Since
we're here, let do it. You're calling everybody's attention dressed like
that."

Esteban agreed, and when Javier came back, he let Raul guide
him into buying some new stuff. Nothing fancy, simply a few shirts, pants, and
a pair of jeans, because Raul said, those were essential.

Back in the car, Raul returned a few calls, business
related, and asked Esteban, "Where do you want to go? If you want you can
stay at my condo, unless you want to visit any of the clubs?"

Esteban actually smiled at that one. "No, thanks. Your
place will be okay. I'm thinking of going to the farm, but I should wait for
Diego's call, in case they are coming back soon."

"Okay, let's go home, I need a break. There is an event
at the North Bergen club tonight, but I can drive you tomorrow."

Esteban hadn't seen Raul's new place after his divorce. It was
a big apartment in a high-rise on the New Jersey waterfront, in the town of
West New York, only a few miles from Hoboken. Pure luxury, like Raul preferred,
with three bedrooms, which were for when his kids visited him, and a panoramic
view of Manhattan.

Esteban picked up a picture featuring his four nephews as
soon as they walked in. They were little devils, but he loved them and missed
not spending more time with them. Maybe now he could.

Raul stood next to him and said, "Are you considering
getting your own?"

Esteban put the picture back in place. "We already
discussed that, I'm not having kids."

When he turned around Javier was staring at him, until Raul
asked Javier to follow him, so he could show him where he was going to stay.
Then they disappeared down the hall that went to the bedrooms.

Esteban tried to call Diego again, this time he answered.

"Esteban, I hope you're calling for something other
than Raul, otherwise I don't want to talk with you either."

"Diego, what's wrong?"

"Didn't Raul tell you?"

"No. I spent the whole afternoon with him, and he
didn't say you guys fought harder than usual. Except that he lost a girlfriend
because you scratched the hell out of him, but that's old news."

"This is serious, Esteban. If he doesn't back off, I'm
getting a restraining order."

"What? Hold on. You're not answering my calls because
of Raul, and now you're talking legalese here."

"I'm sorry, I promised never to get you involved, but
he's your brother and this might get ugly."

"Diego, you're scaring me. What have you done to one
another this time?"

"It's not because of me, it's the baby and the
mother."

"Which baby?"

"There is this girl, well, she's in her twenties and
she's expecting a baby." He paused for a second before saying quickly,
"it could be either Raul's or mine. He wants her to abort, but I'm keeping
the baby. So he better stay away from us."

"Jesus Christ! How is it possible that the baby is
yours too?"

"Ask him, it's his fault. It was his idea, I should
have never listened, but whatever it is, this innocent child is being born. So
tell that baby killer brother of yours to stay away."

"Diego! Oh, my God, How did you guys get into this
mess?"

"For the first time ever, I would rather have you
listening to his version. We'll talk when you come around."

Esteban told him what happened with his own life, and Diego
explained that he was going back to Hoboken in the morning. Before ending the
call, he again apologized for not answering Esteban's calls before.

Afterward, Esteban walked into the bathroom to remove his
clerical clothing,
before
dressing
as a layman for the first time in twelve years. Taking into account the years
he'd spent as a seminarian, and later as a Jesuit priest, in total he'd
dedicated more than twenty years of his life to the Roman Catholic Church.

Yet he hesitated before removing his
Roman collar forever, although he didn't have an option because the day he'd
been
ordained he'd promised celibacy and obedience, but he had been
struggling to keep the first one for years, and by walking away from the case
he broke the second one. He would rather leave the priesthood now, before
dishonoring his promises and offending the church and his
family any further.

When he joined his brother in the
living room, Raul briefly applauded him. "Great, this is the first step.
Listen, this is your house, feel free to do whatever you want."

"Thanks. Raul, I spoke with
Diego."

"Fuck! Well, I guess he told you
his version."

"No, he wants you to tell me
first, but he gave me a preview."

"I don't feel like talking about
that now. Is he coming back or are you joining him?"

"He will be back tomorrow."

"Okay. Do you mind if I take you
there in the afternoon, I'm going to stay out all night, and I'll need to get
some sleep in the morning before going out again."

"No problem, whenever you can
drive us is fine."

Raul turned around and leaning
forward whispered. "Are you continuing the celibate thingy?"

"Why are you asking? I don't
expect that you would accept my choice in case I don't."

"I'm not homophobic, Esteban. My
problems with Diego have nothing to do with the fact he's gay. It's because he
is annoying, and the most stubborn person on this planet."

"Raul, I thought you guys were
making an effort to become friends."

"I tried, I really tried, but
he's impossible! I even shared one of my girlfriends with him."

"You did what?"

"You said that the Catholic
medical association think
s
gay people can be
cured, right?"

"The fact they say it doesn't
mean it's possible. Besides, forcing a gay man to have sex with a woman is no
cure."

"I didn't force him, he agreed,
and he liked it so much, he even stole her from me."

In spite of Raul's upset expression
Esteban laughed. "He did what? You guys are insane. I'm not getting
involved anymore in this nonsense."