About that Night (5 page)

CHAPTER FIVE

I lay with my eyes closed for several minutes after I woke up. Only when I was certain that Luke wasn’t lying next to me did I finally open them. The sheets next to me were rumpled, but empty. I could hear Luke moving around in the other room, and his voice carried through the half-opened bedroom door. He was on the phone again, likely on an important work call.

I found my clothes neatly folded on the dresser, and I slipped them on and folded the borrowed boxer shorts and t-shirt. Truth be told, I was more comfortable in Luke’s clothes than my own.

I found Luke in the living room, still on the phone. He was standing in front of the oversized windows and wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants pulled low on his hips. The sun was still rising and it cast a warm glow on his body that made him look even better than I remembered. It didn’t seem fair that he could look so amazing this morning while I looked like I had been hit by a truck. A very weird part of me wanted to sneak up behind Luke and wrap my arms around him. I walked over to the coffee table and reached for the coffee instead.

I either hadn’t made enough noise to draw his attention, or Luke was pretending I wasn’t there. Either way, I enjoyed the freedom to watch him while I sipped his coffee. I could tell from the tense set of his shoulders that it was a serious conversation.

“That’s not going to work for me. What about the next week?” Luke started to pace and his profile revealed that his jaw was clenched. He had a very nice profile, I decided. “This is ridiculous. Why would you think I would agree to that?”

Luke whirled on his heel and began pacing in the other direction. This time, his eyes found me and he stopped mid-stride. “Hang on,” he said into the phone. He put the phone on mute and came over to me.

“I’m sorry about this. It will just be a few more minutes.”

“Don’t mind me,” I said with a gracious smile as I held up his half-empty coffee mug. “I’m good here.”

Luke smiled tightly and he dropped a kiss onto my forehead. “I’ll make it quick,” he promised. He headed to the bedroom and didn’t begin talking again until the door was shut.

With Luke gone, I grew restless and decided to nose around the room a bit. Luke’s wallet lay on the coffee table and I couldn’t resist. I checked to make sure the bedroom door was still shut, and then I opened the wallet. His Illinois license confirmed that his name was Luke J. Donovan. He was 6’4”, and 180lbs of pure muscle.

“Hm. An organ donor.” It figured. Everything else about him was so perfect, it made sense he would be equally perfect in death.

A couple of credit cards, a gym membership, and about five hundred dollars in cash completed everything Luke carried around with him on a daily basis. I was not exactly surprised by what I found, but I was glad I hadn’t found pictures of a wife and kids. I tossed the wallet down and resumed my snooping. I found a bag on the floor next to the couch and peeked inside.

“I leave you alone for five minutes,” Luke scolded me. I hadn’t heard him return, but I didn’t apologize.

“A stuffed penguin? Is there something you should tell me? Do you have a furry fetish?” I smiled sweetly at him and he returned my smile easily.

“Maybe someday you’ll learn about my fetishes.” Luke gestured to the bag while I blushed. “My niece has a thing for penguins.”

“Your niece?” I shook my head in disbelief. The man not only knew what his niece was into, but he also took the time to buy her a gift. “Figures.”

Luke was lost. “I’m sorry?”

“Never mind.” I waved away his confusion. “I just haven’t had enough coffee yet.”

“You drank mine in less than a minute.” Luke titled his head at me. “Is there something
you
should tell
me
? Are you an addict?”

“I am, actually.” I frowned. “I tend to indulge in things that aren’t good for me.”

“Is that what happened last night?” Luke moved closer to me and I responded in kind.

I waited until we were only inches apart before answering. “That depends. Are you bad for me?” I placed a hand on his chest and felt his heart jump beneath my touch.

Luke took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I could never be bad for you,” he said, closing his eyes. “But I think you could be very bad for me.”

“Luke. We need to be realistic.” I pushed him away. It was hard to stick to my convictions with him looking at me so sweetly. “This is just a one night thing. I’m not looking to start a relationship right now.”

Luke winced. “It doesn’t have to end. I think it’s pretty obvious that we like each other.”

“It does have to end.” I couldn’t explain it to Luke, but I wasn’t ready to let him into my life. One night had been enough. I needed to move on.

“I like you, Kase.  And I think you like me, too.” Luke’s eyes dropped from my face. “We didn’t plan for that, but I’m not going to ignore it just because it wasn’t part of the plan.”

“You have to, Luke, because it’s what I want.” I let myself step closer so that I could kiss him on the cheek. “I had a great night. And morning. But now it’s over. Let’s go back to our lives, and let this just be a great memory. Nothing more.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.” Luke placed a soft hand against my cheek. “I don’t want to do that.”

“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t look at him as I said it. I really was sorry. If circumstances had been different, maybe I would have said yes. But I didn’t. “I have to go.”

I didn’t look back after I stepped into the elevator. I didn’t want to see Luke’s face because if I did, I know I would’ve changed my mind. It may have only been one night, but it had been an amazing night. I waited until I heard the elevator door click closed and then I sagged against the wall. Luke Donovan had gotten to me, and he was going to be hard to forget.

Two Years Later

CHAPTER SIX

“So if you can get me that summary by the end of the day, that would be ideal.”

I furiously scrambled to make a note. It was Friday in the first week at my new job. My boss, Rachel, had just finished listing an entire page worth of deliverables she needed from me.

“I’ll get started on it right away,” I said, double-checking to make sure I hadn’t missed anything.”

“Not right away,” Rachel corrected me. “We have the company meeting now. You can get started on the research after lunch.”

“Oh, right.” I had almost forgotten. I was still adjusting to working at an actual company rather than a law firm.

After moving away from Chicago for two years to work for a non-profit in Washington D.C., I had finally returned home. I had also taken a new job at a consulting company, Maverick Consulting. My old boss, Kate, had gotten me the job without even needing me to complete an interview. She and Rachel had been roommates in college. Now, I had to worry not just about performing up to my own standards, but also had the added pressure of not letting Kate down.

Once per quarter, Maverick’s CEO held a company meeting in the large conference room. All 27 employees would gather and listen to a presentation about the company’s status. I hadn’t met the CEO or any of the other executives yet and I was hoping to get a chance to chat with them. As much as I loathed networking, I was actually pretty good at it.

The conference room was nearly full when I arrived but Rachel had saved me a seat in the middle of the room. “Are you nervous?” she asked.

“Nervous? Why would I be nervous?”

“Our CEO likes to introduce the new people. Don’t worry, it’s no big deal.”

Easy for Rachel to say. I was about to be pointed out in front of a roomful of strangers. Good thing I had at least dressed up today, and even curled my hair.

Everyone around us had been talking amongst themselves, but they all stopped abruptly. Apparently some unseen signal had told them the meeting was about to start.

“Have you met him yet?” Rachel asked quietly.

“Who? The CEO? Not yet.”

Rachel smiled. “You are in for a treat. Donovan is awesome. Smart, funny, and totally hot.”

“Wait, Donovan?” A lump began to build in my throat.

“Yeah. Lucas Donovan. The CEO. You knew that, right?” Rachel looked at me in surprise. “Everyone knows him.”

My heart began to race and my hands were shaking. This couldn’t be possible. But when I turned back to the front of the room, there he was. Luke Donovan, the man I had spent one night with two years earlier, was standing at the front of the room wearing a dashing gray suit and smiling enigmatically at his employees.

“Welcome, everyone. It’s good to see you.” His eyes roamed the room and I sank lower in my chair, trying to hide behind the tall guy in front of me.

“We have a lot to talk about today, including some amazing new clients we just signed, but let’s start with a little fun.” He clicked the remote in his hand and a presentation appeared on the white wall behind him. “Let’s get to know our new coworkers.”

“We have three new people since our last meeting.” Luke clicked again and the slide changed to a picture of someone I recognized from my new hire meetings. “James Lewis. Where are you, James?”

James raised his hand a few seats away from me. “Right here.”

After a brief introduction, Luke moved onto the next new employee, Stephanie. While we learned about her love of gardening, I turned into a shaking, sweating bundle of nerves. When my picture popped up on the screen, I groaned audibly.

Luke’s tone of voice was unreadable as he announced me. “Kasey Maxwell?”

I didn’t move. Rachel raised an arm and pointed at me. “She’s right here.”

“Ah, yes. There she is.” Luke’s voice dropped an octave. I slowly lifted myself in my seat until I could see his face. Our eyes locked and I wondered if Rachel could hear my heart thumping in my chest.

“Kasey. Someone told me that you have thing for making wishes,” Luke said. I recognized the playful smile on his face and remembered taking him to the secret spot with all the pennies.

“I guess,” I replied, very quietly. Only the people closest to me could hear, but they all laughed awkwardly.

“Have you ever had any of those wishes come true?” Luke was still smiling, but I could tell from the flash of his eyes that he was remembering our time together.

“I guess so,” I said quickly, hoping to move things along as quickly as possible.

“I would ask you to tell us about it,” he continued, smiling broader at the panicked look on my face, “but unfortunately, we have a lot more to discuss and we don’t have a lot of time left.”

Luke clicked his remote and my picture was replaced by the company logo. “Anyway, welcome to our new employees. I hope you enjoy your time here.”

I didn’t hear anything else Luke said for the duration of the meeting. I’m sure he covered some important ground, but I was too busy fuming inside.

I sat up quickly as Luke reached the end of his presentation. “Don’t forget, tonight we are having a happy hour at The Bench downstairs. Come ready to drink.”

Luke hadn’t even finished talking before I stood up. I hurried toward the exit, which unfortunately meant I had to walk right past Luke. I kept my eyes away from him, but he still spotted my escape and called out to me.

“Kase. I mean, Kasey. Hold up, please.”

I was busted. We both knew it. I couldn’t exactly ignore my company’s CEO the first week on the job. Especially when he was speaking to me so publicly.

“Yes?” I turned around slowly and bit my lip to keep from saying something I would regret.

“I haven’t had a chance to meet with you yet,” Luke said, choosing his words carefully since the entire company could overhear us. “I have some things I would like to discuss. Do you have time now?”

I wanted to say no. I wished more than anything that I had a meeting to rush off to, but I didn’t. My calendar was wide open the rest of the day, and the people in my department knew it, so I relented. “Sure.”

As I followed Luke to his office, my anger grew. He clearly had known I was his new employee well before that meeting. The question was, exactly how long had he known?

He held open his office door and I marched inside with my head held high. I wasn’t going to let him see how much this bothered me. But I was going to call him out on his bullshit. I waited until he closed the door before speaking.

“How could you?” I spat.

Luke’s head snapped. “What?” It was clearly not what he had been expecting me to say.

“You were trying to embarrass me front of the entire company. You’re a jerk.” I crossed my arms over my chest to keep from punching something. Or Luke.

“Jesus, Kasey, no. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you.” He made to reach for me, but when he saw the fury in my eyes, he thought better of it. “I didn’t even know you were going to be in that room until I saw you.”

“Then why did you bring up that night?” I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I began to soften just a little.

Luke’s face fell. “I am sorry about that, Kasey. I wasn’t trying to throw it in your face. I just wanted you to know that I remember that night.”

“That doesn’t make this okay,” I said, but my arms dropped to my side. Luke could tell he had a way in and he took it. He took three steps toward me and I didn’t back away.

“You have no idea how good it is to see you again,” he said. He reached for me again, and I almost let him succeed at his attempt. At the last second, I stepped away.

“No, Luke. We can’t do this.” I stepped around him, keeping a wide berth. “You’re my boss.”

“We were friends first,” he reminded me. “Doesn’t that change things?”

“Maybe it does,” I confessed. “But we still can’t do this.”

He wanted to protest, to debate it more, but I didn’t let him. I yanked open the door quickly to cut off any further discussion on the topic.

I had a hard time focusing the rest of the day. Fortunately, I was good enough at legal research that I could do it well with only half my focus. I was relieved when Rachel stopped by and interrupted my thoughts, but then she mentioned the happy hour.

“You’re going tonight, right?” she said.

I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to see Luke again. But I knew that even though it was an optional activity, I was expected to make an appearance. “For a little while,” I said reluctantly.

So at 5:00 sharp, Rachel and I headed down to The Bench. Luke was nowhere to be seen and I began to hope that he might not show up. After an hour passed, I finally began to relax. A few drinks and another hour later, I was actually enjoying myself. And then I saw him.

Luke was standing near the bar, talking to one of the female attorneys from my department. She was laughing at something he said, and her hand grazed his arm. I was over twenty feet away but I could still recognize the flirtation behind her touch. She was pretty, but Luke didn’t seem very interested. He was looking around the room, searching for someone. I had a pretty strong feeling that he was looking for me.

“Excuse me,” I said to the group around me. “I need to use the ladies’ room.”

I took a guess that the restrooms would be at the back of the bar, but I must’ve made a wrong turn. Somehow I ended up outside, on a small fire escape.

“Shit,” I said, hoping the door hadn’t locked behind me.

I reached for the handle, but it was jerked out from under my hand. Before I could react in any way, Luke stepped onto the fire escape and grabbed me.

“Luke-” I tried to protest but his lips stopped me. He pressed them against mine with longing desire. I gave into him, parting my lips. He tasted like scotch, and I wondered briefly if he was drunk.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, after pulling away slightly so that he could look into my eyes. “I called you for a month after that night and you never returned a single call.”

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I said. My mouth was saying one thing, but my body was saying another. I wanted Luke. He knew it, and I knew it. With a very great effort, I pushed him away.

“Why didn’t you call me back? We had an amazing night together.” Luke sounded desperate and confused. I knew that I wasn’t handling things right. I needed to be firm.

“I told you back then that I wasn’t looking for a relationship,” I reminded him gently. “I moved away for two years. You wouldn’t have wanted to be in a long-distance thing.”

“How do you know that?” he challenged.

I shook my head. “
I
didn’t want that. I didn’t want any strings tying me back here.”

“Looks like you failed,” he said, eyes burning intently into mine. “We could start over. This could our second chance.”

“As long as I’m working for you, I can’t be with you,” I said, wishing that my voice would stop shaking.

Luke took my hand and threaded his fingers through mine. “I could fire you,” he said with a soft smile that let me know he was only kidding.

“You could.” I lifted our entwined hands and kissed his knuckles. “But that probably wouldn’t bode well for us having any kind of relationship afterward.”

“Probably not,” he admitted. “You could quit.”

“Do you want me to quit?” Not that I was willing to do so. I liked my new job a lot, and I wasn’t willing to quit a job simply because of a guy.

“No. Don’t quit.” He sighed in defeat. “I think we’re out of options.”

“Yeah.” Yet somehow my body was closing in on his again. “I should go back inside.”

“Just stay a few more minutes,” Luke said. He pulled me to him and put both arms around me. “We could be together just one more night, then put this behind us.”

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Luke.” We both knew that one more night was likely to lead to two, then three, and so forth. “I’m going back inside. You should wait a few minutes before following me so we don’t draw suspicion.”

Walking away from Luke was almost impossible, but somehow I managed. My legs shook as I walked back to the table where I had left my coat.

“Are you leaving already?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah. I’m not feeling so good.” I spotted Luke returning to the bar, but he didn’t look in my direction. “I’m going to make it an early night. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Have a good weekend,” Rachel said. “Oh! Don’t forget the holiday party is next week. You should probably line up a date.”

I had completely forgotten about the holiday party. There was no way I could go to that if Luke would be there. We couldn’t be in the same room together with unlimited booze floating around. I had enough time staying in control around him when I was completely sober.

The whole situation was just too impossible. We had spent one night together almost two and half years ago, and now I had taken a job at his new company.

So much for leaving the past in the past.