He then clears his throat like he has something really profound to say and begins reading straight from his phone.
“This one’s from Matthew Russo. ‘Yo bro, heard you’re coming to play ball here with some real winners. Looking forward to meeting you.” He laughs when he’s done reading like this if the funniest message he’s received in his life.
I feel my heart start to beat extremely fast in my chest. Matthew Russo is one of the most popular kids in our grade. He’s the captain of the basketball team and absolutely perfect. I’ve only been in love with him since like the seventh grade, and he’s only known I don’t exist since like the seventh grade. It makes perfect sense that I’ve spent the last five years trying to get Matthew to notice me and Nathan has his attention before he’s even met him.
“Or this one,” Nathan’s says scrolling through his phone, “from Ava Johnson.”
Ava Johnson is a girl in our grade. She’s a cheerleader, has big boobs, and will pretty much sleep with anything that walks. I can only imagine what she has to say. I give a little laugh to myself as Nathan keeps reading.
“Can’t believe you’re really coming to our school. I was cheering at the game we played against you last year. You looked so good I wanted to lick the sweat off of your—“
“OKAY, OKAY,” I say cutting him off, “I don’t need to hear anymore.”
He laughs, then reaches over and pats my leg. “Don’t be jealous Shell.”
“First of all, I’m not jealous, “ I tell him. “Second of all, what did you just call me?”
“Shell,” he says still looking at his phone. “Your middle name’s Michelle right?
I just kind of shortened it.”
“How the hell did you know my middle name?” I ask him as I turn into the school parking lot.
“Your dad told me.”
“Look, I appreciate the whole bonding thing you’re trying to do, but I prefer my real name actually.”
“It’s not really about bonding,” he says glancing out the window at the kids milling around the parking lot. “Victoria’s too serious. Shell is kind of…I don’t know, funny.”
“Well, I hate it.”
“Well,” he says not seeming to care, “I can call you whatever I want. It’s a free country.”
I sigh as I pull my car into an empty spot. I push the break and switch the gear into park, cutting off the engine. I swing my door open in the hopes of getting out of here as soon as possible, but Nathan’s way faster than I could ever dream of being and easily catches up with me.
I glance around the parking lot. So much for thinking I was going to get here early. The parking lot is already packed with cars and there are kids everywhere, weaving in and out of their cars and heading into the building.
“You don’t seem very excited to be arriving at school with a celebrity,” he says to me as we walk toward the front steps.
“Look,” I say stopping in the middle of the parking lot to face him, “whatever this is, it needs to stop now.”
Nathan looks at me curiously, cocking his face to the side. “Whatever what is?”
“This,” I say gesturing between the two of us. “Whatever you’re trying to do with me here or whatever. I’m not buying it. I know you’re not a good guy Nathan. And just because our parents seem to like each other doesn’t mean I have to be nice to you.” I turn on my heel and start to walk away quickly.
If Nathan is taking anything that I’m saying seriously he isn’t acting like it, because by the time I reach the steps that lead to the front of the school he’s already back by my side.
That’s the problem with people who are so full of themselves. Usually when you tell them off, when you make it clear you want nothing to do with them, it goes in one ear and out the other. It’s too late. Their ego has already become too big for you to ever beat it back down. And any type of negative treatment by you is just more of a challenge for them to win you over.
“Brace yourself Shell,” Nathan says putting his arm around me as we walk in the front door of the school. “I’m about to make you more popular than you’ve ever been in your entire life.”
***
Here’s the thing. Nathan is totally right. Just walking into school with him makes me a completely different person. At least it does in everyone else’s eyes.
Suddenly, people who have never bothered with me before are smiling at me in the hall, waving hello as I walk by. It’s a complete and total switch from the life I’ve been living up until this point. And I’m not sure that I’m totally comfortable with the change in attention.
It doesn’t help that everywhere I go Nathan’s standing right there. We don’t even have any classes together and yet every time I turn around there he is. He’s already strolling through the halls like he owns the place, and he already has half of the popular crowd following him around.
It’s like he has the best of both worlds. He’s a god when it comes to sports, which gains him respect with all the guys in the school. And as much as I hate to admit it, he’s very good looking, which means the girls love him too. I guess it’s true what they say.
You only need to know one person in order to know many.
Every time Nathan sees me he makes an effort to talk to me, or wave to me, or shoot some little comment my way. It’s enough to change the way that everyone in the school looks at me.
On my way to seventh period some boy I don’t even recognize nods to me as he passes and says, “What’s up Shell?” Apparently my new nickname has caught on. It’s clear that Nathan is trying to drive me completely and totally out of my mind. The verdict’s still out on whether or not it’s working.
“He’s clearly trying to drive me completely and totally crazy,” I tell Angelina later in the afternoon at newspaper.
I haven’t been a member of the newspaper for very long, only about two months now. It started as a way to get my dad off of my back. He kept telling me after my mom died that I needed to make more friends, that I needed to be more social. I think he was hoping I would go out for a sports team or something. But instead I came home with the announcement that I had signed up for newspaper. As you can probably guess, the response I got wasn’t very enthusiastic.
However, what started out as a chore for me has turned into an escape. I can pour myself into my writing. And it doesn’t matter what I’m writing about either. It can be research on the new bus system or interviewing graduating seniors and incoming freshmen. Writing for the newspaper is also filled with facts, which I like. There’s no in-between, no emotions. It’s just black and white.
And my writing has become the best way for me to not have to think about my mom constantly too. When I’m sitting at my laptop, completely intertwined in writing an article, she doesn’t seem to creep into my mind as much. It’s the only time I’m not totally consumed with sadness.
“Why do you say that?” Angelina asks me as she looks over her notes for a piece she’s writing on the swim team.
“Um, hello,” I say putting the book in my hand down and swirling around in my chair to look at her. “Yesterday I was completely normal. Today I have half the school saying hi to me.”
Angelina sighs and gathers her curly hair up into a ponytail. “So let me get this straight,” she says looking at me like I’m crazy. “You’re mad because your stepbrother is making you popular?”
“He is not my stepbrother,” I tell her sharply.
“Not yet,” she points out, “but he will be. And what better way to welcome you into his family than helping you become super popular.”
I don’t know what to say to Angelina. She doesn’t get it. I don’t want to be popular. The truth is that if something like this had happened a year ago I probably would have been super happy and excited. I spent my entire middle school youth trying to be noticed by these kids, trying to get their attention, but it never came. It’s only after everything that’s happened in the last year that I realize just how thankful I am for that. I don’t want attention anymore. I want to be invisible. And for the last year I’ve gotten my wish. But now Nathan is here messing with my life. He’s here trying to ruin all that and I have no idea how to stop it.
“It’s not real popularity though,” I point out. “They’re only being nice to me because of him.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it Tori.”
That’s the problem. I don’t want to enjoy it.
“Did I tell you he nicknamed me Shell?”
“Shell? What does that stand for?
I roll my eyes. “My middle name.”
Angelina laughs and I stick my middle finger up at her.
“I’m telling you,” she says going back to her notes, “if I were you, I’d enjoy it.”
“And I’m telling you, it’s not all I thought it would be.”
“Well either way,” she tells me, “I’ll give you twenty bucks if you let me accidently walk in on him one time when he’s showering.”
I laugh and playfully throw the book I’m reading at her head.
***
Later in the day, Nathan brings a girl home with him.
I’m not kidding either. On the first day of school he’s already bringing girls back to the house.
I’m confused when I come outside after newspaper and see her leaning up against my car. She’s a short girl with dark brown hair and way too much make-up on her face.
She’s wearing a short pink skirt and twirling her hair slowly around her finger as she waits for him.
I decide to ignore her and head straight to my car, hitting the unlock button as I pass. But just as I’m about to open the door and jump in, she notices me.
“Are you Shell?” she asks me. I wince at the name.
“No,” I tell her, “I’m not. I’m Victoria.”
She looks confused, like this is way too much information for her to grasp. She glances down at my license plate and seems to be comparing it to something written on a little piece of paper in her hand.
“So are you or you not Nathan’s stepsister?”
Great. “I’m not. Well…not yet anyway.”
An unsure expression comes across her face. “I’m Amber. Nathan told me to meet him at your car after his practice. He said that you were taking us back to your house.”
Oh, he did, did he? Unbelievable. He’s only been here one day and it’s already starting.
“Hey,” Nathan says walking toward us with his book bag and gym bag hanging off of his shoulder. He’s wearing basketball shorts and a sleeveless shirt. He’s all sweaty from practice and looking at me like this situation is completely and totally okay.
“Hey!” Amber says, practically pouncing on him as he approaches.
He grins. “So did you two meet then?”
I don’t say anything. I just look at him like he’s a complete and total asshole, which he clearly is.
“Yup,” Amber says going to stand next to him, “we totally met.”
I roll my eyes. Oh, Jesus.
“Great,” Nathan says. “Then let’s get out of here.”
He sits in the backseat with her. Literally, he climbs in the back seat and leaves me sitting in the front by myself, which is fine. It’s not like I want us to bond on the way home or anything. I don’t even like him. But he doesn’t say one word to me. He’s literally treating me like I’m his chauffeur.
I find myself getting madder and madder with every mile we drive toward home.
How did my life gone from so good to so bad to downright horrible in such a short amount of time?
By the time we pull into the driveway I can’t even stand to look at Nathan. My dad’s not home yet and Missy’s car isn’t here either (although I’m sure she’s used to her son bringing home random girls.) I jump out of the car without even grabbing my book bag.
I go into my room and shut the door tightly behind me. This works for only about five minutes. You see, Nathan’s room is right next to mine and apparently Amber doesn’t know how to be quiet. It starts with her annoying voice. Then turns into her annoying laugh. Then into her annoying moaning. It’s pretty clear that they’re hooking up. And when I can’t take it anymore I lie down in my bed and stick my iPod headphones in my ears, turning the music up as loud as it goes to block out the sound.
I’m not sure how long I’m asleep, but when I wake up Nathan’s standing there in my bedroom looking down at me. I reach up and take my headphones out of my ears, my iPod still blaring loudly.
“So apparently,” Nathan says once I turn my iPod off, “you’re a prude.”
I take the iPod and chuck it at his head. He catches it with no effort and holds his hands up in surrender. “Hey, don’t shoot the messenger Shell. I’m just telling you what Amber told me.”
“Yeah,” I tell him, getting up from my bed and grabbing a hair tie off of my dresser, “because I really care what Amber has to say about me.”
“Are you, though?” he asks me. “A prude I mean?”
“Nathan,” I say looking him in the eye, “get the fuck out of my room.”
His normal cocky look disappears from his face and one of confusion replaces it.
It may be fucked up but it satisfies me to know I’ve caught him off-guard for once. Now he knows how it feels.
“What did I do?” he asks me. And I could be imagining it but I’m pretty sure I see a little bit of hurt in his eyes, which is completely ridiculous.
I push him back into the hallway. “If you want to bring girls home to hook up with and then never talk to again, fine. But keep in mind that I’m a female myself. And if you want me to even be civil with you around this house you’ll show me a little respect. I’m not your friend Nathan. And I’m sure as hell not your fucking chauffer.”
Then I slam the door in his face and lock it.
Chapter Four
The next morning, I sneak out of the house super early so I don’t have to see Nathan. It’s not that hard considering I haven’t gotten any sleep anyway. Normally I can at least pass out for a few hours before the nightmares start, but not tonight. Tonight they started almost as soon as I closed my eyes. I lied there awake for a few hours before finally getting up, taking a shower and getting dressed.
I hear Nathan’s alarm go off around three thirty and wait until he leaves for his run before tiptoeing out of the house and into my car. No way in hell am I getting stuck driving Nathan to school again.
It’s not so much that I’m shocked by what he did. I mean, I had overheard the conversation between him and his friend in the gym that day and knew he was with girls.