Alex Anderson The Last Son of Zeus (12 page)

BOOK TWENTY

THE ROAD TO THE FATES

After a short phone call to Bos, the three were on their way a la Satellite to see the Fates.

Bos glanced at Fiona in the rearview mirror. "So, what are the Fates?"

Fiona adjusted the girdle she wore over her Hello Kitty shirt. "Three sisters. They spin the thread of every person's life."

Alex unconsciously grabbed the dashboard while Bos looked in the back seat. His friend had the attention of an amoeba.

"What does that even mean?" Alex said.

Fiona sighed. "Every person's life is measured in thread to them. They sit at a wheel, spinning it until that person dies."

"Man, sounds like that job sucks," Bos said. He turned his attention to the road in time to avoid an old man walking his even older mother? The two looked like they were about to have a heart attack as the Satellite bounced off the curb next to them. Bos hand-over-handed the steering wheel. It made clapping noises as he jerked the car back to the road.

Alex had the strength and vitality of a god, but
Bos's
driving still scared the shit out of him.

Bos acted like nothing happened, as was his style. "So, why are we
goin
'?"

Alex saw two kids riding skateboards on the sidewalk. He hoped Bos didn't get to close to them.

"If asked, they can skip ahead a little," Fiona said. "Give a person their future." She looked at the kids too.

Bos clapped Alex on the shoulder. Jesus Chris, did he even care about the wheel? "Well, that's great huh, buddy? We can totally get your fortune told. See where you're
gonna
end up. See if--hey,
can they
do me? I want my fortune told."

"That's not why we're going," Fiona said.

Bos screeched to halt at a red light. "Okay, fine, whatever. I see how it is. Any time you need a ride to chase down magic tampon lady, oh Bos-boy is there. But when I need
somethin
'--"
Bos
shook his head, "I see how it is. That's fine. I'm cool. I can deal with it."

Fiona leaned forward. "Give me a break. You just want to see what your chances are of ever getting your dick into Jessica Alba's ass."

"That--that's not true,"
Bos
said.

"Whatever. Turn here."

Bos swung the battleship sized steering wheel to the right. "Amy Winehouse," he said.

Alex and Fiona looked at Bos.

"Amy Winehouse. It's her ass--not Jessica Alba's."

"Hey, dude. She'll go to rehab if I'm there. She couldn't say no--
no
--
no
."
Bos
thrusted
his pelvis into the steering wheel with each beat.

Alex saw some more kids playing in their front yard. Their father grilled hamburgers nearby. He felt Fiona's warm breath against his neck.

"It was never meant for you," she whispered.

Fiona tapped Bos on the shoulder. "This is it. Turn here."

Bos turned into the parking lot of People's Trust Bank.

"This is where the Fates are?" Alex said. "A bank?"

Fiona opened her door. "It's where one can summon the portal to reach them."

Alex closed the car door. "Yeah, but a bank? Why a bank?"

Fiona walked past him. "Why not?"

"Kinda makes sense, dude," Bos said.
Lottsa
stuff is decided at banks. People get cars, houses, or--shit, even their lives at banks."

"Lives?" Alex said.

"I had an uncle who was a loan shark once. Long story."

Alex and Bos followed Fiona to the drive through window. Alex stuck his hands in his pockets. "Alright, this is your show, Fiona. What do we do?"

Fiona rolled her eyes back. Only the whites were visible. She slowly waved her arms and swayed her body. "
Oh, great keeper of that which
lies
both here and there, bring forth the gate that we may see what most are allowed not to see! Our reasons are our own, but they are just! Search into our souls, so you may find our need!"

Alex looked around nervously. "Are you serious?" he whispered. "You have to go through all this every single time?"

Fiona stopped swaying. "Nah, I'm just fucking with you."

She slapped the call button twice and the three teenagers disappeared in a purple flash of light.

~ * ~

Bos' screams hurt Alex's ears all the way through wherever they went. Their bodies cart wheeled through a brightly lit tunnel that made zero sense. The tunnel had images and no images and sounds but no sound. He clamped his mouth shut. The last thing he wanted to do was cartwheel through his own vomit.

He and Bos landed on the floor of a large, white room. Fiona stood, arms crossed, as if she'd been waiting on them for an hour.

Alex stood and leaned to help Bos. Bos screamed as soon as Alex touched him.

"Whoa, oh my God! Oh my God, I don't ever
wanna
do that again!" Bos rolled into a fetal position and held his balls.

"Is he
gonna
be okay?" Alex said.

Fiona nodded. "Dimension portals take some getting used to for some mortals, but the sensation will pass eventually."

"Fuck getting used to! It feels like my balls are in my ass! I'm never doing that again, Jesus Christ!"

"How do you plan on getting back?" Fiona said.

Bos opened his eyes briefly then shut them again. "Fuck!"

The marble room had a fountain in the middle with a silver liquid trickling out of the top. For some reason, the liquid didn't seem the slightest bit odd to him. "Alright, we're here."

Fiona grabbed Alex's arm and led him away from Bos. "You seem as though you don't care about your destiny."

"Why should I?"

"God, my balls," Bos said from behind them.

"I'm sorry?" Fiona said.

"Caring or not caring won't make a difference, right?"

"No, I suppose not."

"Then it doesn't matter. Let's just get this over with. Maybe these Fates of yours can show me a way to get out of this life. It amazes me to think I used to believe having super powers, living like a guy out of a comic book, would be cool,
y'know
? Like Spider-Man or something."

"Alex, you can't--" Fiona saw something behind him that made her stop mid-sentence.

Alex turned, following her gaze. At the other end of a long hallway stood two wooden doors at least twenty feet tall.

They were bashed in.

Fiona walked to the doorway and Alex followed.

"Hey, no
prob
, guys, I'll just wait right here!" Bos screamed through clenched teeth.

On the other side of the doorway laid three dead women, dressed in robes. If Fiona was surprised by the bodies, she didn't show it.

"You can't get out Alex," she said. "Not now, not ever."

BOOK TWENTY-ONE

THE FATE OF THE FATES

Hera could barely contain her anger.

How dare
they
!
How could they possibly do this to me? Me!
After all I have done, after all that I have undone they dare do this to me!
She passed the silver fountain in the marble room and walked to the wooden doors.

She stopped only long enough to knock them down.

Hera stepped into the room. Its three occupants stared at her. They stopped turning their spinning wheels and stood, one by one.

Hera clucked her tongue. "So, how are things?"

The three sisters looked at each other then back at Hera.

Hera raised her index finger. "Ah-ah, wait, don't tell me. Things are going swimmingly, I'll wager, eh?"

One of the Fates wiped sweat away from her brow.

Hera picked up the nearest batch of thread. She ran it between her fingers as though she were studying a piece of camera film. After several seconds, she discarded it. "Nope, not what I'm looking for. How about this one?" She picked up another piece and repeated the action.

The sisters, knowing what she would find, made a dash for the room's exit.

"Stop," Hera said. She never took her gaze off the thread. The three sisters immediately did just that. "Do you know how long I have tolerated you three? Do you have any possible idea?"

One of the sisters stepped forward. Hera had no idea which one because they all looked the same. "Dear merciful Hera, we were told by our Lord to--"

"ZEUS KNOWS OF THIS?"

The once brave sister stepped back.

In one quick motion, Hera crossed the room and grabbed the nearest Fate by the dark hair on the back of her head. Hera shoved the thread in her face. "Zeus knows of this?"

The Fate nodded. The other two Fates made another move for the door.

"I will kill you before you draw another breath if you do not remain still."

Hera turned her attention back to the Fate at hand. "Zeus, who is blessed with infinite wisdom, saw fit to betray me and the other Olympians over--over..."

"Sex with a mortal, dear Hera. Sex that resulted in the birth of a child."

Hera ripped off the sister's head.

The other two watched helplessly as the head bounced off the marble floor and rolled into a pile of thread.

"I have tolerated your insolence for as long as I have been able. You three, who always saw fit to inform other
gods,
or even other
mortals
of their fates before you would tell me. You who are not even blessed with names have more respect among their kind than I. My renowned has all but faded from memory. Yet you three live on in song and myth."

For the last time, the two Fates ran.

Hera picked up the nearest spindle wheel and hurled it like a massive discuss. It hit a Fate in the lower back, filling the room with a loud crack. The Fate fell with her mid-section bent back at an impossible angle.

The last sister ran even faster, but it didn't matter. She had just enough time to look up and see Hera smash another spinning wheel into her face.

BOOK TWENTY-TWO

THE PISSED OFF MATERNAL BARISTA

Alex watched Fiona put the thread down. "Well, that's what happened."

"You've
gotta
cowboy up, dude," Bos said to Alex. "This bitch is for real."

Alex's mouth felt dry and tasted coppery. "Why? If these people are so important to Zeus, why did he let Hera kill them?"

Fiona crossed her arms. "I don't know. But I'm
gonna
find out."

~ * ~

Sophie watched her son leave for school.

Her son.

It had always seemed like an impossible idea. She couldn't have kids. Well, that wasn't true. She could have kids. Being gay never made it practical. But here she was now, seventeen years after a one night fling in Rome where the Greek god of thunder impregnated her by pretending to be a woman. Alex's father lied to her then...

And Alex was lying to her now.

Sophie wasn't stupid. She watched the news and knew some crazy shit had been happening over the past few months. During which time, Alex had grown increasingly more distant and hanging out with that weird Fiona person even more. Alex told her he would say something if one of
them
contacted him. But he never said anything.

She gave him plenty of opportunities. "Is there anything you'd like to discuss?" She'd asked him this morning. Sophie mentally kicked herself. Could she have come up with anything more cliché?

"Nope," Alex had said through a mouthful of Fruit Loops.

And that was that. He finished his breakfast then left for school.

Hell no
. Sophie opened the door to Alex's bedroom. He was in something. She was sure of it. She had hoped Alex would come to her if things got all weird again. Not only had he failed to do so, but now her son was flat out lying to her.

She opened his clothes hamper. B.O. greeted her.

"Gross." She let the lid to the hamper shut and opened his closet...

And saw nothing.

Well, she saw practically nothing. One lonely pair of jeans hung on the rod. Sophie emptied the hamper onto his bed. Clothes tumbled in every direction, but not nearly enough.

Where are his goddamn clothes?

Alex never really bothered with clothes shopping. Sophie usually did it, so she had a good idea of how many clothes her son had, and this simply wasn't enough. At least half of them were missing.

Her foot hit something soft and heavy under his bed.

She drug out a duffel bag from underneath the box spring. It was big enough for a Doberman, and too heavy for her to lift. Sophie settled for opening it on the floor.

Inside, Sophie found armor and weapons. Lots and lots of weapons.

The bag had to have been cursed to hold everything. Swords, shields, maces, armor, and a few other things she didn't recognize reflected the morning light into her face.

They're after him
. Sophie didn't know who she wanted to hurt more. The whole fucking Greek pantheon or her son.

She settled on her son because she knew where he was. Sophie grabbed her wallet and car keys.