Authors: Criss Copp
Blake had
dropped his hand in realization of what he had said... in public.
And I spat
coffee all over the table.
I slammed
my coffee cup on the table, bent down to grab my board, and pulled it out from
under my feet, before righting myself and sliding out from the table.
I ran to the door.
Blake
called out to me; he sounded close, immediately behind me in fact; he grabbed
my arm as I cleared the doorway.
“
Summer
, stop!” he implored.
I just spun
around and glared at him.
God Damn it,
we were in public! My cheeks were burning and we were adolescents arguing life
decisions and love.
We should’ve all
been discussing stupid icecream flavors and the top forty charts.
“Summer,
I’m sorry I embarrassed you.” He pleaded.
“Can we still be friends?”
I closed my
eyes... I was angry, sure.
But I wasn’t
about to remove him from my life.
I was
even perhaps a little... flattered?
Aargh!
Who knew... today sucked!
“Sort out
your argument with your sister, but please, don’t involve me.” I said coolly.
“Are we
still solid?” he asked, a real fear in his eyes.
“Yes.” I
answered him.
Dropping my board and
steadying it with my foot.
“Summer...”
Blake began, “I...” he drifted off.
I looked
right at him, and gave him a vague shake of the head and bugged my eyes open,
indicating I was waiting for what he had to finish saying.
“I meant
what I whispered to you, immediately after our kiss, I don’t want to hurt our
friendship.” He reminded and reasoned with me.
I closed my
eyes, dropping my chin to my chest.
I
felt a little hurt and yet better all at the same time.
We were too young to throw romance into a
friendship and think we would come out the other side unscathed.
Right now I felt like we were the most mature
people standing in East Northport.
I reached
around him with one arm to give him a quick embrace.
“See you
tomorrow?” I asked, “If you’re up for it, its movie night... remember Tuesday
is movie night throughout the break.” I reasoned.
Blake
smiled brightly.
“Sure.” he replied.
Blake.
Fuck!
Well that
was smooth...
I crossed
the parking lot and found a rock to sit on in the shade of a tree, as I watched
Summer
skate up the road.
“That
was... entertaining!” Jordan said from behind me.
I groaned
and dropped my face into my hands.
“You’re
serious... you’re not gay are you!” he revisited.
I couldn’t
help it... this topic of conversation was so not funny anymore.
“No!
And if everyone keeps this up, I’m gonna
become homophobic.” I declared.
“Yeah, I’m
kinda getting that.” Jordan replied.
“Nice first kiss though... most guys I know would sell their left nut to
kiss
Summer
. She’s hot!”
I smiled at
myself...
I wasn’t complaining!
I turned to
watch her further up the street; I could barely make her out now.
She had worn the top I had picked out for her
last time we went shopping together... and it really suited her.
Looking
down at my own clothes, which consisted of my
Diesel
grey/blue denim jeans and crisp white dress shirt, coupled
with my red
Converse
sneakers, I
suddenly felt overdressed.
Summer
preferred pre-loved thrift store buys, not that she couldn’t get her aunt and
uncle to buy her designer clothes if she put on the charm, but that just wasn’t
her style.
Summer had
started school in Northport in 2nd grade; until then she had lived up near Lake
Ontario, and then done a spot of home schooling, before landing in my
class.
I’d liked her immediately.
I recalled
sitting in the third row in Mrs. Mapstone’s class, up in the left corner of the
classroom; at the time there was a vacant desk beside me, because kids avoided
me back then.
Mrs.
Mapstone wasn’t a very tolerant old cow... she looked and smelled like a
disheveled hoarder... and she couldn’t stand me.
Maybe my constant outbursts of swearing and
obstinate behavior had something to do with it... but it probably had more to
do with the fact that she wasn’t allowed to discipline me... that the principal
had designated me a time out room, which I was allowed to use when
I
felt I needed it.
At the time
she walked into our classroom, I’d been doodling on a notepad that I kept with
me at all times.
She was
beautiful... she was wearing a pink t-shirt that had a glittery cupcake on the
front of it; and she had on a knee length denim skirt, in addition to a pair of
white ankle socks and white sandals.
Her
hair was in pigtails, but it was her face that blew me away... her hazel green
and gold eyes were hypnotic... and her smile was angelic.
The principal was introducing her, but I
wasn’t listening... I was staring at her... and when she noticed, she gave me a
shy smile...
me!
After the
introductions, Mrs. Mapstone asked her to find a seat, and so she made a
beeline for the vacant seat next to me, however, Mrs. Mapstone grabbed her arm
and pulled her back.
I noticed
her eyes at this intrusion on her person... they were wide and panicked... I
stood suddenly, my chair scraping back.
But Mrs. Mapstone cut me down... glaring at me before softly yet
cynically stating,
“No
Summer... not next to Blake.
You don’t
want to be seated next to him my dear.
He’s... shall we say... troubled!”
I was
stunned into sitting back down... I didn’t want to scare this ‘
Summer
’ girl.
I waited
till class resumed;
Summer
having been directed to sit
next to the saccharine sweet Macy Kendall; a popular but bitchy girl; and then
I left to go to my ‘time out’ room.
At
lunchtime I was in the library, seated on the soft sofa at the rear of the
reading area, reading
A Wrinkle in Time
by author
Madeleine
L’Engle
.
I didn’t play well with other children, so I
often made my way to the library to read... it calmed me.
My head was
bent low over my book... it was an interesting book, pitched at children above
my age, but nonetheless, one I was able to follow easily.
White sandals, covering white socks, covering
girls’ feet were right in front of me.
I
knew instantly whose feet they were, and I felt a hitch in my breath.
I looked up
and meant to say something snarky to keep her away from me, to warn her off,
but when my eyes met hers, I saw the warmth and smile in them.
So I tried to warn her off in another way.
“Mrs.
Mapstone wouldn’t be pleased to know that you’ve sought me out.” I said in the
biggest grown up voice I could muster.
She
shrugged, smiled and put her hand out for an introduction.
“My name’s
Summer Rogerson.” She began, I took her proffered hand and shook it, “And
you’re Blake Austen!” she said without fear.
I gave her
a confused glance and removed my hand from her grasp.
She smiled
a smile and gave me a look that melted my insides.
I couldn’t talk.
“You need a
friend!” she pointed out kindly, “I need a friend!” she continued, “and since
you have excellent taste in books,” she indicated the novel I was reading, “I
can tell we’ll get along splendidly!” she said, as she bounced up onto the
other side of the couch and pulled open the book she had with her...
Bridge to
Terabithia
by
Katherine Patterson
.
We sat
there the rest of lunch in an easy and companionable silence.
After lunch,
Summer
moved herself to the desk next to my desk; before Mrs. Mapstone noticed, and
when Mrs. Mapstone did notice and mentioned the danger she was in by sitting
next to me; Summer simply shrugged her quiet defiance and became in that moment
my best friend!
My birthday
was one week after hers, so we were very close in age.
We shared similar opinions on topics that
most kids didn’t even know existed... and we were also a good match
academically, so we spent time on homework after school.
This was how
Summer
was introduced to Julie, who was in Mr. Sanderson’s class, and they became
friends too... Summer however, had always remained first and foremost, my best
friend.
Summer
maintained that life began when she moved to Northport... she didn’t talk about
her previous life, and she refused when I asked, except to say that she didn’t
dwell on that nightmare.
I guessed there
was a very good reason why she ended up living with her aunt and uncle.
We all needed secrets... she still didn’t
know mine!
I’d fallen
in love with
Summer
the moment her sock and sandaled
feet stood before me in the library on her first day of school.
But her friendship with me superseded all of
that.
She didn’t appear to share my
feelings, and our friendship was more important to me than anything else, for
now.
However,
that kiss; oh God... I just wanted to crawl inside her when I kissed her, like
I needed to get really close.
I growled
in frustration, I could feel Jordan’s eyes on me.
He was probably confused, and certainly a
little embarrassed about Julie’s and my fight.
Nobody
outside of my immediate family really knew the struggle I had to contain some
of my more aggressive tendencies.
Everyone forgot the early years, and my destructive behaviours before
Summer
became a part of my life.
Yet throughout it all, I still had an angry
side... painting helped me contain my rage... Dr
Paule
had been the one to direct me to paint.
A
five-year-old dealing with the aftermath of sexual molestation tended to either
cave in or
explode
...
I exploded.
These days I
contained the anger, especially in front of
Summer
; so
apart from my family, no-one knew about my anger issues, or the earlier
abuse.
But then, Dad’s business partner
had been locked away for quite some time now, and due to my age, the link
between me and her just never surfaced.
Julie too had been too young for her name to be bandied around... but
her anger issues were getting worse, not better.
She had refused all focus by the good Doctor,
and lately, that was becoming increasingly obvious.
I’d had no
idea that the stupid gay bullshit could get so out of hand... it was kind of
funny at first.
Since my growth spurt
had rendered me tall and gangly, I did look more like the stereotypical persona
of a homosexual man.
But Julie was
acting completely unreasonable... I was sure that most people would be trying
to convince their gay brother that they were in fact straight, not try to
convince their straight brother that they were gay.
I was so full of indignation that I wanted to
go back to her and go another twenty rounds.
Things had to change, like now.
I
had a little time before we all started high school, I needed to turn things
around before returning to school!
“Okay,” I
began, turning to Jordan. “Tell me how to man up, at least in looks anyway,
because I just can’t help the way I am otherwise.” I continued.
Jordan
nodded at me, and began walking around me to check me out.
Considering the recent conversation and the
opinions regarding my sexuality, I felt a little uncomfortable.
“Get rid of
the pink hair.” Jordan offered. “Like, now!”
“I’ll make
an appointment for the hairdresser tomorrow.” I reasoned.
“Nup... today.
Do it now.” He said.
“Where’s
Jewels?” I asked, looking around.
“She’s
fucked off somewhere... told me to go home.
So it’s just you and me today, brother.” He replied, smiling.
“Fun!”
I
replied sarcastically.