Read Always the Last to Know (Always the Bridesmaid) Online
Authors: Crystal Bowling
I turn to apologize but Matt has already started to pull me down the aisle. I don’t miss him give a wink at the hairstylist who Carla invited to stay on for the wedding and reception, place settings be damned.
“I told Evan that I like guys.” Matt turns his attention from the hairstylist and smiles at me, “You were right, he was totally cool with it.”
“I told you he would be.”
“And what about you? I hear that you and Riley are an item now.” He whispers while people ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ at us. How they’re keeping their repulsion so well hid, I have no idea. Being in love still makes me feel like an idiot in this dress.
“Who told you?”
Matt laughs, “Riley came into the changing room wearing the same shade of lipstick as you, albeit a little smeared. I kind of figured it out for myself after that.” He elbows me lightly, “Are you happy?”
I nod, “Yeah, of course I am.”
“Have you two done It yet?”
“Matt!” I say far too loud. The bridesmaid and groomsman in front of us turn around to look at me, as does the rest of the church. I mouth a “sorry” and quicken my pace.
When I talk again, my voice is barely a whisper, “God, I hope the videographer doesn’t get that on tape.”
“So, is that a no?”
We reach the altar but before we part, I whisper, “It’s a no for now.”
“Tonight?”
Evan steps between us and looks at me, “Can you wait to tell him about your plans to seduce Riley until after I get married?”
I refrain from mentioning how this wedding wouldn’t have even happened if Riley hadn’t kept Evan from running away, and go to my side of the altar.
“Here Comes the Bride” starts up and everyone stands up to watch Carla as she is escorted down the aisle by her big brother. I look over at Evan to see him watching Carla. He has always tried to be so macho about everything but, right now, his eyes are getting watery and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so big in the five years that I’ve known him.
Carla and Riley reach the front of the church and, despite the veil, I can tell that she’s already crying. Riley isn’t crying, but his grin could be competing with Evan’s. He hugs Carla before placing her hand in Evan’s. Before he leaves the altar, he looks at me. His gigantic grin has been reduced to that half-smile that he always gives me. I feel like it’s my own personal smile, something special that’s only for me.
“You look beautiful.” Evan says to Carla before Father McCarthy begins the ceremony.
The original plan was to have the full Catholic wedding with the mass built right in. Due to Carla’s morning sickness, however, Father McCarthy has agreed to cut out the mass and just have a short ceremony. Of course, Father McCarthy just thinks that Carla has a forty-eight hour bug, and is not going through a nine-month pregnancy. If Father McCarthy knew the truth, he may not perform the wedding.
Fortunately, it was not the Maid of Honor’s duty to lie to the priest about Carla’s “illness”. That was all Ms. Callahan’s doing. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen Riley more proud of his mother.
As the wedding goes on, I look around the church to see everyone’s reaction to this holy union. Like me, Matt is scanning the church, probably looking for the stylist who has seemed to move from the back of the church where he was standing. My mom is sitting in the second row, smiling and looking like she may cry. I notice that she keeps turning around to look at the doors of the church. Dad’s late again. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t show up until the reception gets into full swing.
In the row in front of Mom, Ms. Callahan is just smiling and dabbing her eyes with an already crumpled-up tissue while her boyfriend Bill pats her arm gently. They’re both smiling up at the happy couple.
I look next to Ms. Callahan and can’t help but smile even bigger than I already am
(you know, since there’s a photographer with a camera running around the church snapping pictures like he’s covering Paris Hilton’s release from prison
) when I see Riley, who is looking at me. And he still has that half-smile playing on his lips.
I wink at him before turning back to Carla and Evan. They’re holding hands and exchanging vows. Well, Carla’s trying to, she just keeps getting choked up. Her back is turned to me but I can see Evan and he’s crying.
Yes, Evan “My-Heart-is-Made-of-Rusted-Tin” Winters is crying. And, surprisingly, his football groomsman isn’t snickering quietly.
He is, however, is chewing gum. With his mouth wide open. During a wedding that’s being filmed. And he keeps popping bubbles. In a church for God’s sake.
Carla is going to kill that guy when she sees the wedding video.
“Evan, I never thought that I would find someone like you. The first time I met you I knew that I could never be without you. We laugh, we cry, kind of like how I am right now.” The congregation chuckles softly as Carla goes on, “I didn’t think that I could ever be full of this much love and happiness. And I just want to say thank you for that.” She laughs as she is crying. “I love you, Evan.”
Father McCarthy nods at Evan, gesturing for him to speak. Evan breathes deeply, trying not to get all weepy before he talks.
“Carla, I love you. You make me the happiest that I’ve ever been. I can’t imagine living my life without you in it. You are the reason why I get out of bed in the morning.” Evan laughs as he chokes back a sob, “Before I met you, I never really thought about love. And now, whenever you lay your head on my shoulder or I hear your laugh, love is all I can think about.”
I can’t help but let a few tears fall. That is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard in my twenty-two years of existence. I just can’t believe that it’s coming out of Evan’s mouth.
The rest of the ceremony goes by in a blur of promises and tears. Before I even realize it, Father McCarthy is introducing us all to Mr. and Mrs. Evan Winters.
Carla turns to me to take her bouquet back and then hugs me.
“I’m married!” She squeals excitedly before Evan starts leading her back down the aisle.
“That Carla, she doesn’t miss a thing.” Matt laughs as he holds his arm out for me.
We’re just off the altar when Riley grabs my arm and, with Matt attached to my opposite arm, kisses me. I can hear Matt saying “awkward” and Ms. Callahan and my mother gasping, but I don’t care.
I don’t care because right now Riley has a hand on the small of my back and a smile on his lips as he kisses me and all I can think about is that this is the moment that my entire life has been building up to. Years of fights and name-calling and wrestling matches and sharing the big tub of popcorn at the movies because we were both broke, and those nights of cheap beer and falling asleep on the sofa and waking up being so comfortable with his head on my shoulder and being so afraid of that comfort. All the fights and fears and the years have built up to this day where I finally see what’s always been in front of me.
And love is all I can think about.
***
I can’t believe that I am doing this. If a cop
happens to drive down the street right now, I’d surely be arrested for breaking and entering.
However, with me still wearing my Maid of Honor Dress from Hell, I could probably plea insanity with very little argument against it.
When we got back from the wedding, I claimed that I was too tired to even think, and retired to my bedroom where I primped and waited until I was sure that Riley was asleep and clueless of my plans.
Once I heard Riley snoring, I snuck out of the house and, for the last fifteen minutes, I have been leaning against the side of the house, still debating whether or not go through with this.
I take a deep breath. This is what I want. I mean, I spent my hour of freedom from the wedding plotting all this out. And here I am now, standing outside of Riley’s bedroom window and hoping that the trial run wasn’t a fluke. Because, if it was a fluke and I get stuck in the window, then that will put a definite damper on my plans.
I do a quick look around to make sure that no cars are coming, and push the window open as quietly as I can. When I can still hear Riley’s faint snoring, I take a leap and manage to get my upper body into the window. Fortunately, the window is lower to the ground than most windows, which makes breaking and entering much easier for me.
Riley is still asleep as I manage to wriggle into the window more. I’m also glad to see that Jackson is snoozing quietly on the edge of the bed. That dog is useless when it comes to preventing break-ins. I try to stay quiet, but I’m in the window from waist up and I’m starting to have trouble.
When I did this trial run, I was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt, not the Dress from Hell. And, up until this point, I didn’t think about the hoop skirt not fitting through the window. I don’t know how I didn’t think of the hoop skirt because that damn thing has forever been burned into my retinas. But I’m stupid and forgot about the hoop skirt not having any elasticity or bend and now I’m completely screwed.
“Son of a bitch, I’m stuck.”
I am stuck in Riley’s bedroom window at midnight. My legs are hanging out the window and I am going to be seen by a cop and arrested for burglary. And in my mug shot I’m going to still be wearing this damn dress. When I don’t make bail and am convicted of breaking and entering
(provided the insanity plea doesn’t work out in my favor),
I’ll be thrown into prison and will have to become someone’s bitch.
And I don’t want to be someone’s bitch!
I move around frantically, trying to fall in or out of the window. At this point, I don’t care. As long as I get out of the window and am able to avoid prison, I don’t care.
“Riley.” I whisper. He stirs in his sleep but is otherwise unaffected, neither is Jackson. “Riley.” I say a little louder. Nothing. “Callahan!”
At my shriek, Riley sits upright in his bed and looks around. There’s enough light coming from the street
(and from the nightlight I made him put in his room after his zombie scare)
that I can see him blinking quickly to try to acquaint his vision to the dark. When his eyes land on me, he smiles and gets an amused chuckle stuck in his throat.
“What in the hell are you doing, Reynolds?”
“Trying to be romantic.” I grumble, still fighting to get in the window. “Feel free to help me out.”
Riley gets out of bed and comes over to the window and looks down at me, “I don’t know if I want to help you. I think it’d be far more amusing to watch you get out of this mess yourself.”
I swat my arm at his leg but he jumps back and is completely out of my reach.
“Whatcha gonna do now?”
I look up at him and glare, “Do you not want to have sex ever again?”
He laughs and kneels down in front of me and tries to figure out the exact situation.
“Is there any way that you can take the hoop skirt off now?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s all under the dress in some weird pulley system. I have a new respect for any woman in the 1800s who wore these damn things. No wonder they wanted equal rights and the opportunity to wear pants. I’ll never curse my jeans ever again, even if the buttons fall off or the zipper breaks and. . .”
“Hands.” Riley interrupts me and grabs my hands. While he attempts to pull me through the window, I wriggle around and hope that the hoop skirt will finally give because a.) this is really starting to hurt, and b.) Riley looks really cute right now with his hair all mussed and without a shirt.
I hear something crack – I’m not sure if it’s the hoop skirt or the window frame – and I go crashing into the room and land on top with Riley. A loud “oomph” escapes his lips.
“I’m sorry. Are you okay?” I ask with a light chuckle.
He nods as he rubs his elbow, “You’re giggling really shows your depth of concern for my well being.”
I laugh again, “Want me to kiss it and make it feel better?”
“Knudsen got hurt too, you know.” He winks as I roll my eyes. “When did you plan this out?”
“When I couldn’t find you before the wedding. I thought this would be more than enough to make up for it. I just didn’t take in account the fact that this damn dress comes with some liabilities.”
“Well, we best get you out of the dress as soon as we can then.”
“I see that my plan is materializing in the right direction.”
He kisses my nose before motioning for me to get up. “Why did you do all this?”
I stand up and lend a hand to him, “You said that you’ve been waiting for me to crawl through your bedroom window and lie down next to you for years.”
Riley wraps his arms around me and begins to unzip my dress, “You take everything so literally.” He plants kisses down my neck, “And I’m so glad that you do.”
We’re quiet for a minute as we kiss and head to his bed, shedding clothes and any fears that I ever had. Riley manages to pry the hoop skirt off of me
(making me grateful for more than one reason)
before we collapse on his bed.
“I put a box of
preservativos
in the nightstand earlier too.” I smile, glad to know how to say the word ‘condom’ in Spanish now.
Riley kisses my forehead, “You’re brilliant.”
“Was that a compliment, Callahan?”
“You better get used to it, Reynolds.”
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