Caroline
stands and refills her glass from the remaining soda in the can. “But
what about my mother—I mean, my birth mom? She was a
prostitute. She didn’t know the meaning of love. For God’s
sake, Layla, she didn’t even know who my father was! She got
pregnant from some trick because condoms are only ninety-nine point
nine percent effective!”
“What
do her choices have to do with you?” I meet her at the counter.
“What
if I’m predestined to—” she begins but I have to
cut her off there.
“What
is it with people thinking that genetics have something to do with
the choices we make?” I shake my head, as I am growing weary of
hearing this crap.
“Look
at you. Your parents were strong and determined, and that’s
exactly how you turned out!” she argues.
“Yes.
They had strong and determined personalities, but they could have
made any number of choices with those traits. You’ll remember
that my father chose to blow up a building in protest. Take Will’s
father for example. He was a brilliant businessman. He chose to take
those skills and use them for evil, destroying who knows how many
lives.” I take Caroline by the shoulders, rubbing them to
comfort her. “Why are you so scared?”
“I
love him, Layla. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love Tyler.
Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with
anyone … ever. I’m so scared that I’m going to do
something that is going to push him away forever,” she says as
her salty tears finally escape down her face.
“So
you decided to push him away intentionally?”
“I
guess I just wanted to see what he would do. I mean, if I did
something really inconsiderate and selfish, would he stick around?
Would he love me through it?” Caroline’s sobs come harder
and she falls to the floor. I go there with her and hold my best
friend in my arms while she cries. “But now I’ve ruined
everything!”
“Shh,”
I whisper as I stroke her hair. “You haven’t ruined
anything. Tyler is mad about you. He wants to marry you.”
Caroline
snaps her head up. “He does?” she says with shock. “You
mean he
wanted
to marry me.”
“Why
can’t you just accept that he loves you? That even though you
were a total bitch to us that night, we
both
still love you?” I smirk at her and she laughs.
“Oh,
Layla! I’m so sorry!” Caroline wraps her arms around my
neck and we settle our reconciliation with a long embrace on her
kitchen floor.
“Are
you really going to Europe for an undetermined amount of time?”
I ask Caroline as we make ourselves comfortable on her bed. We caught
up on her life during dinner and I bombarded her with pictures of the
twins for almost an hour. Now we’ve decided it’s ice
cream and movie night, just like we used to do on our famous girls’
nights. It makes me miss Gwen.
“I
could if I wanted to. They really want me to lead several projects
over there,” she says with a sigh.
“Then
I guess the real question is, do you want to?” I dip my spoon
into her ice cream carton and take a bit of chocolate chunk, staring
at her while I wait for her answer.
“I
do. But, I want to be with Tyler, too.” She thinks for a moment
before become resolute. “I can’t lose him, Layla. I just
can’t. I’ll make it work. I’ll … I’ll
commit to two full weeks of non-stop work and one full week home. And
I’ll … I’ll master the art of delegation. Can you
teach me how not to be a control freak?” She laughs nervously
and I laugh with her.
“Of
course!”
“Then
it’s settled.” Caroline’s tone is determined. “I’m
going to ask Tyler to marry me!”
“Wait.
What?” Her declaration practically knocks me off the bed. “Are
you sure you want to do that?”
“Yes!
I love him and I know he loves me. Besides, it’s the
twenty-first century. Why can’t I be the one to ask? And it
will let him know that I’m all in.” She’s so
excited that I don’t want to be a buzz kill. I just want her to
really think about this.
“No,
definitely, yeah!” I say. “It’s just … well,
is that the fairy tale you want? Is that going to be the romantic
story you want to tell your kids one day?”
“Every
love story is different.” She smiles at me. I know she is right
and I can’t help but smile back at her.
“Okay.
If that’s what you want. Then I’m going to make sure you
have the most amazing engagement anyone has ever had!”
I
cancel my reservation at the hotel and Caroline and I spend the rest
of the night watching chick flicks and eating junk food. With every
bite I know Wes is going to kick my ass even harder. I tell her about
Michael and she shares the same conflicted feelings I have. Will and
I are so happy to have Michael and Rachel in our lives, but our time
with Michael is so short. Every day Michael will get a little weaker
and we know it’s just a matter of time before he will leave us.
We
also talk about some ideas for her Sadie Hawkins proposal to Tyler.
Everything she suggests sounds wonderful, but this whole
non-traditional approach just isn’t sitting right with me. Deep
down, I think she’ll regret it one day. Since she’s asked
for my help in executing what she is calling “The Proposal of
the Century,” I tell her I’m going to need some time to
make sure Michael is in a stable place. She agrees and I have just
bought some time to see if I can make good on my promise of making
sure she gets the Happily Ever After she deserves.
Caroline
called in a favor with her boss and took the next day off. We slept
in but I called Will as soon as my eyes were focused enough to see
the numbers on my phone. I was frantically apologetic, feeling guilty
for having enjoyed my long, uninterrupted night of slumber so much.
He told me to stop apologizing and to enjoy my time with Caroline. He
said the girls were just fine, and he was actually really enjoying
having them all to himself. He planned for Michael to come over that
night to play poker. It made me so happy to hear that he and Will
were truly taking advantage of the time Michael has left.
We
shopped all day. I bought the girls dresses for their baptisms and a
few toys from FAO Schwarz. I’d never spent so much on them, but
Caroline told me to get used to it. She was just sorry that they
wouldn’t be old enough to be flower girls in her wedding. I
suggested that she plan the wedding far enough out so that maybe they
could crawl down the aisle but that was a No-Go.
When
Will picks me up at the airport he’s quiet. Unusually quiet.
I
get in the car and close the car door beside me. “What’s
wrong?”
“It’s
Michael,” he says.
“What
happened?”
“He’s
been pushing through and not telling me how he’s been doing.
He’s fading, Layla. I mean, I noticed he was looking bad, but I
had no idea just how bad he was really doing. He had another episode
last night. I had to call an ambulance again.” Will grips the
steering wheel, trying not to cry.
“I’m
so sorry I wasn’t here,” I tell him. I put my hand on his
leg and then rub his knee. “I should have been here.”
“No.
You should have been in New York talking some sense into your best
girlfriend. There was nothing here you could have done.”
“So
are we going to the hospital right now?” I’m all for
going if that’s what Will needs, but I really want to go home
and see my babies, if I can pry them out of my mother’s hands.
“Let’s
go home so you can see the girls. I’ll call Rachel and see how
Michael is doing.” Will blows out a breath of hard air. “It’s
happening too fast. I knew we had limited time, but it’s
dwindling away so quickly.”
“Just
keep making the most of the time you have with him. And when he’s
gone, you’ll have these memories. They’ll all be so fresh
that you won’t forget anything.” I rub Will’s leg
again to comfort him. He takes my hand in his and rests it on his
thigh. We are quiet the rest of the drive home.
Mom
must have seen us pull in the driveway because she is standing in the
foyer with both Natalie and Claire in her arms.
“Mommy’s
home!” she says in a sweet, high-pitched voice. The girls
giggle and I literally drop my purse on the floor and rush to them.
“Oh
my goodness! You grew in two days!” I take Claire from her and
kiss her sweet cheeks. She puts Natalie in my other arm and I
alternate kisses between my two little cherubs.
Luke
enters from the study. “Well, I guess our Grammy and Papa time
is over.” He smiles at me and my heart swells. I love watching
the two of them with my girls. It feels redemptive in a way. Being
grandparents in their forties means that they’ll get to watch
Natalie and Claire grow up the way they never got to with Penny.
Will
finally walks through the front door. I left him in the car so he
could call Rachel and get an update on Michael. I only caught the
front end of their conversation, which involved Will’s very sad
eyes, a “really,” and an “are you sure.”
“Maybe
not, if that’s okay with you.” Will touches the small of
my back and then takes Natalie from me. “Apparently Michael’s
cancer is spreading faster now. It’s so rapid that his doctors
are suggesting he go home and make himself comfortable. It could be
just a matter of a few weeks now. So, I want, no … I need to
be out there with him as much as possible. And Rachel could use
Layla’s company.”
“Of
course,” I agree.
“We’ll
do everything we can to help,” Dad offers. “And I’m
sure Wes and Eliana will, too.”
Mom
helps me whip some dinner together while Dad spends time with Will.
He knows better than anyone what Will is going through. He may have
just gotten Michael, but the way Will commits and loves so
completely, it doesn’t matter that they accepted their
brotherhood less than a couple of months ago. Will’s brother is
dying and it is tearing him apart.
I
remember Dad telling me that it didn’t matter that he and my
father weren’t close when he died. Family is family and the
sadness can be overwhelming. Dad was sad for having lost all those
years with my father. Will feels the same way about the lost years
with Michael. The difference in their experiences is that Michael
will have Will by his side when he passes. He will leave this earth
with more love than when he entered it. I hope that Will is able to
find solace in that.
“How
is Victoria dealing with all of this?” Luke asks. “Losing
a child is devastating. To watch him deteriorate must be
heartbreaking.”
“I’ve
only spoken to her once,” Will tells him. “She’s
doing as well as can be expected, but our reconciliation seemed to
make her feel better. She’s been telling him for years to
connect with me but he’s pretty stubborn.” Will thinks
for a moment. “It’s funny. After getting to know Michael
and the girls, it seems we all inherited that trait from our father.”
“Do
you ever think that there might be some traits of his that wouldn’t
be so bad to have?” I ask. Gregory Meyer was a ruthless and
evil man, that isn’t up for debate. But no one starts out as
pure evil. He had qualities and characteristics that he chose to use
in a malicious way. He could have just as easily used them
charitably.
“I
try not to think about my father all that much.” Will stands
and takes his plate to the kitchen. I can’t tell if he’s
angry or just avoiding the subject.
I
raise my eyebrows at Mom and follow him. “I didn’t mean
to upset you.”
“You
didn’t.”
“Then
what’s up with the physical relocation?” I give him the
look that reminds him that I know him better than anyone.
“I
meant what I said, Layla. I try not to think about my father. There
isn’t a lot worth remembering.” Will busies himself with
loading the dishwasher. After a few plates and two glasses he stops
and positions his hands wide apart on the edge of the counter and
hangs his head. “It’s all his fault.”
I
knew exactly what he means. It was all Gregory Meyer’s fault
that Will and Michael didn’t have a relationship until now. Had
he allowed Eliana to contact the ex-wives and make connections
between Will and his half-siblings, Will and Michael wouldn’t
have been strangers. But that wouldn’t have been very Gregory
Meyer of him.
“I’m
sorry. I didn’t mean to stir any of that up.” I snake my
body in front of Will’s and lean against the counter. He lifts
his head and then wraps his arms around me.
“It’s
okay. I said I
try
not to think about him. Lately it’s been difficult. Every time
we tell a story about something Michael and I both experienced at a
certain age, all I can think is that it would have been really nice
to have an experienced older brother help me through it. And then I
just get pissed. I’m really happy to have Michael in my life,
but it’s been hard dealing with the feelings it’s dredged
up.”
“Well,
I’m still sorry. I shouldn’t have asked such a stupid
question.” I squeeze my arms around Will’s middle in
apology.
“It
wasn’t a stupid question. It was a normal question. The problem
is, my father was never normal.”
Mom
and Dad peek around the corner before walking into the kitchen.
“Everything okay in here?” Mom asks.
“We’re
good,” Will tells her. “Thanks for staying. I appreciate
the talk, Luke.”
“Anytime.”
Luke gives a hard pat to Will’s back before grabbing his
shoulder. “I’m always here for you.”
Mom
and Dad are more than agreeable to being on-call to watch the twins
in the coming weeks. We don’t know how fast Michael is going to
continue to fade, but Will wants to be there with him as much as
possible, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do.
We’ve
already made arrangements with the hospital and Michael’s
doctors to have all of his bills sent to us. Will even went as far as
to have a meal delivery subscription set up for Rachel, for which she
is very grateful. She said that she wants to keep things as normal as
possible. Cooking is one normal thing that she loves to do, but is
happy to not have to deal with the grocery store. She doesn’t
like to be away from Michael too long, and with everything going on
it’s hard to concentrate long enough to get through the entire
store.