Avenging Autumn: Seasons Change Book 1 of 4 (2 page)

Benny’s taste in music was beginning to change
at that point, moving from old favorites like Pearl Jam and
Soundgarden, to some heavier bands he had heard lately like; Korn
and Deftones, but he had yet to hear anything from Ma-rilyn Manson.
He had always held to the notion that The Smashing Pumpkins were
the greatest rock band ever and that would not change for the rest
of his life.

The visit was short but it didn’t take long
for Benny to deduce that Autumn had no interest in getting
romantically involved with Aaron. This was a great relief for
Benny.

Triloville is an excellent town to visit in
the fall, with its rolling tree covered hills and adjacency to
Hoosier National Park in southern Indiana, any leaf gazers would be
in heaven. The population sits at a little over 3000, but that
number is projected to grow in the next few years due to several
housing editions that have popped up recently and the car assembly
plant that was being built about twenty miles away from the center
of town.

This particular Saturday morning was overcast
and cold, yet the colors of the leaves somehow seemed brighter to
Benny than any he had ever seen. He’s not sure exactly why he
noticed this detail at the very moment his wife was lowered into
the ground, but he couldn’t help thinking that she would love this
day. To others it would seem dreary or sad, but that’s the way she
liked things. It was the way they both liked things.

By that logic, however, it only stands to
reason that he should have been happy that day, because he felt so
sad. It doesn’t work that way.

Maybe the leaves weren’t as bright as he
perceived them to be; perhaps the tears in his eyes were distorting
his vision.

The coffin reached the bottom of the hole that
was to be Autumn’s final resting place, and one by one all of her
friends and family picked a black rose (Autumn’s favorite flower)
from one of the many bouquets surrounding the grave and dropped
them in after her. Benny stood from his chair after everyone else
had offered their condolences and returned to their cars. He pulled
a black rose from the last few that remained and held it over the
coffin. He hesitated a moment. Then, Instead of dropping it, he
carefully placed it in the lapel of his suit. He didn’t know why he
did it exactly, but he suspected if he dropped his rose in, it
might symbolize letting her go, and he could never do that. After
some time, he forced himself to turn away from the grave and walked
back to the limo his father had rented and climbed
inside.

Benny’s father, Frank, and his brother, Jack,
sat across from him in silence for the trip back to Frank‘s house,
where a sort of after funeral gathering was being held. Of course
Frank’s house was quite large and could comfortably hold the thirty
or so people that attended. Frank Writeman was the owner of the
small chain of Writeman’s Savings and Loans banks that were found
throughout the mid west, the very same bank Autumn had worked for.
Although Frank rarely stayed at the over sized house anymore, he
often slept on a couch at his office building, of course no one
knew of this but his oldest son, Jack.

Frank looked at Benny as if he was searching
for something comforting to say, but instead let out a deep sigh
and slumped his broad shoulders. Benny noticed that his fa-ther’s
thinning hair and neatly trimmed beard was much whi-ter than the
last time he had seen him, but he was still in re-markable shape
for his age.

Jack Writeman was the owner of the Writeman
Fu-neral Home, located right in the middle of Triloville, Indiana,
which by the way, had done a beautiful job with Autumn’s funeral. A
sharp contrast to his brother, Jack was shorter, broader, and kept
his sandy blond hair short and neat, and his handsome face was
always clean shaven, as his job required it. Even though Jack
arranged funerals for a living, it was rare to see him in such low
spirits. He’s usually a joker and a great drinking buddy, and Benny
could only remember one other time he had seen him so down, that
was at their mother’s fu-neral.

The limo pulled up to the Old Man’s house
(Benny and Jack had taken to calling Frank the Old Man even though
he was only fifty-six) and the three men climbed out. Frank walked
to the front door, pulled his key from his pocket and walked inside
to make sure everything was prepared for the guests.

“
Benny,” Jack called as Benny
started up the porch, “wait up a minute, I want to talk to
you.”

Benny walked quietly back toward the
car.

“
Uh…look, Benny,” Jack started,
“I-I, umm sorry about…well you know, about Autumn,” he let out a
deep sigh, “man, I am so bad at this shit.”

“
Really?” Benny asked
sarcastically, “Maybe you should have picked a different line of
work.”

“
C’mon, that’s not what I mean. I
can run a line of bullshit with complete strangers, even shed a
tear or two if I try real hard, but you’re my brother and Autumn
was one of my best friends. I just hope that you were pleased with
the service, I did my best to make sure everything went
alright.”

“
It was great, Jack,” Benny said
with a grin, “every-thing was beautiful. Thanks.”

“
Yeah, well, it was an honor,” Jack
returned through misting eyes. He cleared his throat and continued,
“Listen, after the squares leave, you can meet me on the back
porch. I rolled a special fatty just for you.”

“
I’ll be there, man,” Benny turned
and walked back to the front door.

Inside, he was greeted by the usual assortment
of aunts and uncles, giving him there condolences and advice on how
to put this tragic event behind him. Just when he thought he
couldn’t stand anymore of it, he was able to sneak away upstairs to
his father’s study and get a chance to clear his mind.

Forty five minutes later, Frank Writeman
opened the door and poked his head inside to find Benny sitting on
the window seat, staring out at the trees on the lawn.

“
There you are,” Frank said.
“Leaves are beautiful, aren’t they?”

“
Yeah, Dad, they look great.” Benny
answered quiet-ly.

“
Everyone is starting to leave, do
you want to come down and say goodbye?”

“
Not really.”

“
That’s alright, I’m sure they‘ll
understand,” with a sigh, Frank sat down next to Benny, “Son, I
want you to know if you need to talk about this, I’m here for you.
I know exactly what you’re going trough and I-”

“
How the fuck could you know what
I’m going through,” Benny shouted angrily, “Mom wasn’t
murdered.”

“
That’s not what I meant,” Frank
yelled, matching Benny’s anger. He took a deep breath to calm
himself, “I’m just saying I lost the woman I loved the same as you.
Whether by cancer or a killer’s hand, they’re both gone, so if you
need any help with this, you just let me know.”

Benny returned his gaze to the window without
a word. Frank stood up and walked toward the door.

“
Dad,” Benny said suddenly, Frank
turned back to his son from the doorway and could see he was crying
now, “It hurts so bad, will it ever stop.”

Frank looked down at the floor, as if
searching for the right answer, then looked up and said grimly;
“No, it won’t. It will always hurt, right up to the very moment you
take your last breath. Hell, Benny, I‘ve even heard of people dying
from the loss of the person they love. The stress is so great it
actually weakens the heart. Do you think that‘s going to happen to
you?”

Turning back to the window, Benny sighed and
said; “I hope so.”

Frank found his comment a little disturbing,
but felt anything else he could say would only make Benny feel
worse. Instead, he turned and walked out of the study without
another word.

Thirty minutes later, most of the guest had
left and Benny walked out to the back porch to find Jack sitting in
a rocking chair.

“
Hey,” Jack said when the door
opened, “Dad was looking for you.”

“
Yeah, he found me,” Benny
returned, “and we had a little talk.”

“
Oh yeah, how did that
go?”

“
Well, you know the Old Man, always
painfully hon-est.”

Jack only nodded in response to this, he knew
that their father was about as blunt as a lead pipe. Frank wasn’t
just his name it was his way of life.

Benny took a seat on the chair beside Jack’s,
and Jack produced a large joint from the breast pocket of his
jack-et.

“
Jesus, that is a fatty,” Benny
stated.

“
Yeah,” Jack said with a proud
smile, “Northern Lights with a little skunk thrown in for good
measure.”

“
Wow! The good shit,
huh?”

“
Only the best for my baby
brother,” Jack brought out a lighter and lit the end of the joint,
inhaled, then passed it to Benny.

“
I know it’s kind of soon to bring
this up,” Jack said through smoke filled lungs, “but, have you
considered what you’re going to do now? I mean whenever you’re
ready to start dating again, I know a lot of girls.”

“
I don’t know, Jack, I don’t think
I’ll ever be ready.”

“
Well, I know you feel that way
now, but eventually you’re going to want some companionship. There
are a lot of girls out there, Benny, a lot of other chances for you
to find love.”

“
That will never happen again,”
Benny said with certainty.

“
What, love?” Jack asked. Benny
nodded his head, “Man, I can’t even remember how many women I’ve
loved, or at least told I loved so I could get in their
panties.”

“
I remember exactly how many it’s
been for me.”

“
Okay, how many?”

Benny took another drag off the joint, “Just
one.”

“
Seriously?”

“
Those three words are words I take
very seriously, you know. I’ve had a lot of girlfriends and I’ve
had sex with a few others as well, but I never felt love for any of
them, so I never told any of them I loved them. Not until Autumn.
With her it was easy to say because I meant it, I could really feel
it. We had so much in common and I felt so lonely until she came
along. Even when I was in other relationships, I always had this
sense of crushing loneliness. I’m sure that sounds a little
dramatic to you, but I don’t know how else to describe it. No, I
know for a fact I will never love another woman.”

Jack looked sternly back at Benny and said,
“So, does that mean you like guys now?”

“
No, you fucking idiot,” Benny
answered, giggling through his marijuana induced buzz.

“
I’m sorry, man,” Jack returned,
“That’s cool. I envy you really, I sure as hell never felt that way
about a woman. I guess that’s true love.”

“
Yeah, I guess it is.”

Benny and Jack finished smoking the joint in
silence as they watched the sky turn purple from the sunset, until
Benny finally stood up and spoke, “I got to go, Jack.”

“
Where you going?”

“
I’m going to go back to the house
and get some clothes and stuff.”

“
Alright, are you going to stay
with me again to-night?”

“
Of course.”

“
Cool, you want me to go with
you?”

“
No, I’ll be okay. Meet you back at
your place later, okay?”

“
That’s cool. Hurry back, we‘ll
watch Empire or Jedi before we go to bed.”

“
Count me in.”

Benny walked into the house and found his
father sitting by the fireplace.

“
Hey, Dad, I’m going. I just wanted
to tell you I’m sorry for yelling earlier.”

“
That’s okay, son,” Frank’s gruff
voice answered. “I’ll be at the office later, if you need anything
don’t hesitate to give me a call.”

Frank stood and walked Benny to the
door.

“
Thanks for everything,
Dad.”

“
Don’t mention it,” The Old Man
hugged his son and Benny thought it must have been years since he’d
felt those large arms around him. “You know, Benny, sometimes part
of being in love is watching someone die, but, hopefully we’ll see
them again in whatever lies beyond this life.”

“
And who will watch me die?” Benny
said seriously, “For that matter, who’s going to watch you
die?”

Frank shrugged, “Well, we still got each
other.”

A sharp laugh escaped Benny’s mouth, the
effects of the weed still lingering. “Yeah, I suppose we
do.”

“
Drive carefully, son.”

Benny walked out into the cool night air and
climbed behind the wheel of his little black truck. He turned the
key and waited for the CD in the stereo to start. The band was
Bright Eyes. They were much mellower than he was used to, but he
liked them all the same.

“
Man, I’m getting old,” he said to
himself. He shifted the gear stick into drive and went home for the
last time.

He pulled into the driveway of his house and
saw the Halloween decorations on the lawn; the things that once
brought him so much joy now only caused a sting of sorrow in his
chest. Stepping out of the truck, he scanned the area fear-ing that
he would find Autumn’s killer had returned to the scene and at the
same time hoping he would find the fiend and catch him off
guard.