Authors: Mario Vargas Llosa
Sometimes, instead of playing soccer, or climbing down to the beach, or racing around the block on their bicycles, they went to see a movie. If it was Saturday they all went together to the matinee at the Excelsior or the Ricardo Palma, usually getting balcony seats. They sat in the front row, made lots of noise, threw lighted matches down on the people below, and argued about the scenes in the picture at the top of their voices. Sunday was different. In the morning they had to go to Mass at the Champagnat Academy in Miraflores; only Emilio and Alberto studied in Lima. They usually got together at ten in the morning in the main park, still dressed in their uniforms, and sat on the benches watching the people going into the church or starting arguments with boys from other neighborhoods. In the afternoon they went to the movies, this time downstairs, well-dressed, their hair combed, all of them half-suffocated by the ties and starched collars their parents made them wear. Some of them had to chaperon their sisters; the others followed them down Larco Avenue, calling them nursemaids and fairies. The girls in the neighborhood, who were as numerous as the boys, also formed a tightly-knit group that was bitterly hostile toward the boys. When the boys were together and spotted one of the girls, they ran up and surrounded her and pulled her hair till she cried, jeering at her brother when he complained, “She’ll tell my old man and he’ll punish me for not defending her.” On the other hand, when one of the boys showed up alone, the girls stuck their tongues out at him and called him all sorts of names, and he had to put up with their insults, red-faced with embarrassment but keeping the same pace to show them he was not a coward who was afraid of mere women.
But they didn’t come, it was the officers’ fault, it must’ve been. We thought it was them and we jumped out of bed but the guards stopped us. “Quiet, it’s the soldiers.” They’d got the peasants up at midnight and they had them out on the parade grounds, armed to the teeth as if they were going into battle, and the lieutenants and noncoms were there too, it’s a cinch they knew something was up. But they would’ve liked to come, we found out later they spent the night getting ready, they even made slings and ammonia bombs. How we yelled Motherfuckers! at the soldiers, they were furious and they pointed their bayonets at us. He’ll never forget that deal, they say the colonel almost hit him, maybe he did hit him, “Huarina, you’re a mess,” we ruined him in front of the Minister, in front of the Ambassadors, they say he practically bawled. Everything would’ve ended like that if it hadn’t been for the fiesta the next day, well done Colonel, what’s this about exhibiting us like monkeys, armed drill in front of the archbishop and a lunch for everyone together, gymnastics and field events in front of the ministers and generals and a lunch for everyone together, a full-dress parade and speeches, and a lunch for everyone together in front of the ambassadors, well done, well done. We all knew something was going to happen, it was in the air, the Jaguar said, “We’ve got to win all the events in the stadium, we can’t lose a single one, we’ve got to make a clean sweep, in the sack race, the foot races, everything.” But there was hardly anything, it began with the tug of war, my arms still ache from pulling so hard, how they shouted, “Come on, Boa,” “Harder, Boa,” “Harder, harder,” “Hooray, hooray.” And in the morning, before breakfast, they came over to Urioste and the Jaguar and me and told us, “Pull till it kills you but don’t give ground, do it for the section.” The only one who didn’t get wind of it was Huarina, the horse’s ass. But the Rat could smell it, be careful you don’t try any funny business in front of the colonel, and don’t laugh in my face, I may be a little shrimp but I’ve won so many championships at Judo I can’t keep track of them. Keep still, you bitch, stop biting me, Skimpy. And the place was crowded, you couldn’t make out Gen. Mendoza among all those uniforms.ost medals, and I’ll die laughing if I remember the mike, the worst possible luck, what a kick we got out of it, I’m going to piss if I laugh any more, I’m going to split my guts if I keep remembering that mike. Who’d’ve thought it’d be so serious, but look at how the Fifth is, they’re giving us dirty looks, they’re moving their lips to tell us we’re all motherfuckers. So we began telling them the same thing, easy, slower, Skimpy. Ready, Cadets? Pay attention to the whistle. “Armed drill without spoken commands,” the mike said, “changes of step and direction, forward march.” And then the gymnasts, I hope you’ve had a good bath, you cruddy bastards. One two three, step lively and salute. That midget is a damned good gymnast, he hasn’t got hardly any muscles but he’s real clever. We didn’t see the colonel either but that didn’t matter, I know him by heart, why do you smear on so much hair oil, don’t talk to me about military bearing because I think about the colonel, if he loosens his belt his stomach plops to the ground and what a laugh, that face he puts on. I think the only things he likes are assemblies and parades, look at my boys, how trim they are, oompah, oompah, the circus will now begin, with my trained dogs, my trained fleas, my rope-walking elephants, oompah, oompah. If I had a squeaky voice like his I’d start chain-smoking to get hoarse, it isn’t a military voice. I’ve never seen him in the field, I can’t imagine him in a trench, but yes, sir, more and more shows, that third rank is crooked, Cadet, pay attention, officers, they’re getting out of step, martial bearing and deportment, what a horse’s ass, what a face he made about that rope business. They say the minister was sweating and he said to the colonel, “Have those sons of bitches gone crazy or what?” There we were, face to face, the Fifth and the Fourth, on opposite sides of the soccer field. How excited they were, they squirmed in their seats like snakes, with the Dogs on the other side, watching without understanding a thing, just wait a minute and you’re going to see something good. Huarina walked back and forth near us and said, “Do you think you can?” “You can confine me to the grounds for a year if we don’t win,” the Jaguar told him, but I wasn’t so sure, they had some big brutes, Gambarina, Risueño, Carnero, real big brutes. My arms ached even before, just from my nerves. “Put the Jaguar in front,” they shouted from the stands, and “Boa, we’re counting on you.” The guys in the section started singing
Ay, ay, ay
and Huarina laughed until he realized it was to razz the Fifth and he began to tear his hair, what are you doing, you animals, there’s General Mendoza up there, and the ambassador, and the colonel, what are you doing, and the tears ran out of his eyes. I have to laugh when I remember how the colonel said, “You mustn’t believe that tug of war is simply a matter of muscles, it’s also a matter of skill and intelligence, of cooperation, it isn’t easy to coordinate your efforts,” that just kills me. The fellows applauded us the way I’ve never heard them, anybody with any heart in him got all excited. The Fifth were already on the field in their black gym suits and they got applauded too. One of the lieutenants marked the line and you’d’ve thought we’d already started, the way the cheering-section screamed: “Fourth! Fourth!” and “Here’s a cheer for the old Fourth Year!” “What are you shouting for,” the Jaguar asked me, “don’t you know it’ll tire you out?” But it was all so exciting. “This is the day, hooray, we’re on our way, hoorah, so here’s a cheer for the old Fourth Year, rah, rah, rah!” “Okay,” Huarina said, “let’s go. Put everything you’ve got into it, make a good name for the Year.” And he didn’t even suspect what was coming. Run, guys, the Jaguar out front, let’s go, let’s go, Urioste, let’s go, let’s go, Boa, come on, come on, Torres, beat’em, beat’em, Riofrío, Pestana, Cuevas, Zapata, let’s go, let’s go, we’ll die before we give up an inch. Run with your mouths closed, we’re near the stands, let’s see if we can see General Mendoza, don’t forget to raise your arms when Torres says three. There’s more people than it looked like, and all that brass, they must be the minister’s aides, I’d like to get a good look at the ambassadors, how they’re applauding and we haven’t even started. That’s it, now a half turn, the lieutenant must have the rope ready, I hope to God he’s tied the knots right, look at the dirty looks the Fifth are giving us, don’t scare me, I’m shaking already, halt. “Hooray, hoorah!” And then Gambarina came up a little closer, without paying any attention to the lieutenant who was straightening out the rope and counting the knots, and said, “You wise guys think you’re going to show us up. Just watch out or you’ll end up without any balls.” “And how is your mother these days?” the Jaguar asked him. “I’ll talk to you later,” Gambarina said. “Stop horsing around,” the lieutenant said, “team captains come forward, line up, start tugging when the whistle blows, the minute anybody crosses the line I’ll blow it again and you stop. The first side that wins twice is the winner. And don’t start squawking afterward, I never play favorites.” Calisthenics, calisthenics, jump, keep your mouth closed, Jesus Christ how the cheering-section’s yelling Boa, Boa, even louder than Jaguar or else I’m crazy, what are they waiting for, blow that whistle. “Ready, guys,” the Jaguar said, “give it everything you’ve got.” Then Gambarina let go of the rope and shook his fist at us, they were all worked up as if they were sure they couldn’t lose. And what made us feel good was the way the rest of the Fourth cheered us, I could feel it in my arms and legs, come on, one, two, three, no, Jesus, oh Jesus, oh Jesus, four, five, the rope’s twisting like an eel, I knew the goddamned knots weren’t big enough, your hands keep, five, six, slipping, seven, fuck me if we aren’t beating them, the sweat’s blinding me, that’s the way real he-men sweat, nine, come on, come on, just a little more, come on, come on, the whistle, I’ll be fucked. The Fifth began shouting, “It was a trick, Lieutenant” and “We didn’t cross the line, Lieutenant.” Hooray, the guys from the Fourth are standing up cheering, they’ve taken their caps off, they’re waving them, are they shouting Boa, they’re singing, crying, screaming, long live Peru, death to the Fifth, don’t scowl like that or I’ll bust out laughing, hooray, hoorah. “Stop sniveling,” the lieutenant said. “One to nothing, favor of the Fourth. Get ready for the second one.” Come on, guys, what a cheering-section the Fourth has got, that’s the right way to cheer, I can see you, Cava, you peasant, and you, Curly, keep shouting, it’s good for our muscles, I’m sweating like a horse, damn this rope, keep still, Skimpy, stop biting me. What happened was, our feet slipped on the grass, just like roller skates, I thought something would bust inside me, I could tell my veins were standing out, who’s letting up, don’t conk out on us, who the hell’s letting up, they grab the rope harder, they think about the Year, four, three, come on, what’s the matter with the cheering-section, damn that Jaguar, they’ve tied us. But they got more tired than we did, they dropped to their knees or flopped onto their backs, sweating and gasping for breath. “Tied one to one,” the lieutenant said. “And don’t flop around like that, you look like old ladies.” Then they began to insult us to make us afraid of them. “We’ll get you after it’s over.” “You’d better start praying because we’re going to screw you one and all.” “Shut your traps or we’ll take care of you right now.” So the lieutenant bawled them out: “Watch out what you’re saying, they can hear you in the stands, I’ll get even with you later.” Hooray! and how is your mother, we’re talking to you and no one else. This time the cheers were faster and louder, they yelled until they were red in the face. Fourth, Fourth, zoom, boom; hooray, hoorah! One more match and we’d make them eat the dust. “They’re going to jump us,” the Jaguar said, “they don’t care if the stands are packed full of generals, you watch. This is going to be something special. Didn’t you see the way Gambarina was looking at me?” The insults from the cheering-section were rolling across the field, Huarina was galloping back and forth, the colonel and the minister heard the whole thing, brigadiers were writing down four, five, ten names per section, one month two months confined to quarters. Come on, guys, bust your guts, we’ll show who’s who in the Leoncio Prado, we’ll show who’s got hair on their chests and balls like a bull, come on. We were all tugging when I saw that crowd coming, it was like a big black cloud with red dots, it came down from the stands where the Fifth was, a whole big crowd of them, “Here comes the Fifth,” the Jaguar shouted, “take care of yourselves,” then Gambarina let go of the rope and the others from the Fifth all stumbled and crossed the line, I shouted we won, the Jaguar and Gambarina were wrestling on the ground and Urioste and Zapata ran past me with their tongues hanging out, to slug the ones from the Fifth, the crowd got bigger and bigger, then Pallasta signaled to the stands where the Fourth was, come out here, can’t you see they’re after us, the lieutenant was trying to break up the fight between the Jaguar and Gambarina without seeing what was happening behind his back, “You bastards, the colonel’s watching you,” then another crowd came out, our own guys, the whole Fourth was like the Circle, where’s Cava that half-breed, good, here’s Curly, we’re all together again and this time we’re all bosses. And suddenly the squeaky voice of the colonel, you could hear it everywhere, officers, this is a disgrace, st
op it at once, they’re disgracing the Academy, and then I recognized the son of a bitch that initiated me, those big dark lips, how nice to meet you, we’ve got some unfinished business, I wish my brother could’ve seen me, he always hated those peasants from the Andes, those big open lips, those big scared eyes, all of a sudden they started whipping us, the officers and noncoms took off their belts and they even tell me some of the officers that were just guests came down out of the stands and took off their belts, they had a lot of nerve because they didn’t belong to the Academy, I don’t think I got hit with the leather, I got hit with the buckle, that’s why my back hurts so much. “Obviously it was a plot, General, but I assure you they’ll be punished for it.” “Plot? Don’t be an ass. Just stop them fighting, if you can.” “Excuse me, Colonel, but you ought to turn off the microphone.” Whistles and whips, all those lieutenants and I didn’t see them, my shoulders were burning they whipped me so hard, the Jaguar and Gambarina were snarled up on the grass like a pair of spiders. But it turned out all right, Skimpy, stop biting me, you bitch. Then we lined up again and I felt hot and tired, I hoped they’d give us a break, I wanted to lie down on the grass and take a rest. Nobody said anything, you wouldn’t believe how quiet it was, we just stood there gasping for breath, we didn’t think about getting passes, just about getting back to our bunks for a good long siesta. So then they screwed us, the minister confined us to the grounds until the end of the year, that made the Dogs happy but if they didn’t do anything why were they so scared, okay, go on home but don’t forget what you saw, and the officers were even scareder, Huarina was white as a sheet, look in the mirror and your face’ll scare the hell out of you, Curly was next to me, he whispered, “Is General Mendoza the fat one with that dame in the blue dress? I thought he was infantry but the bastard’s artillery, look at his insignia.” The colonel almost swallowed the mike but he didn’t know where to begin so he squeaked, “Cadets!” and rested a while and squeaked, “Cadets!” again even squeakier, look out, you bitch, I’m going to laugh, we all stood there like ramrods but scared shitless like the rest. Okay, Skimpy, you don’t believe me, nobody’d believe me, but honest the colonel kept on squeaking, “Cadets! Cadets! Cadets!” and “We’ll settle all these problems among ourselves,” and “I’d like to address a few words to our distinguished guests, I beg your pardon and I assure you this has never happened before and will never happen again” and “We all hope this distinguished lady will pardon us.” I don’t know who started it but we clapped for about five minutes, anyway my hands got sore, and she stood up and started throwing kisses, too bad she was so far away, I couldn’t tell if she was good looking or not or young or old. Stop scratching me, Skimpy. They say she was even crying. But then, “Third Year, dress uniforms. Fourth and Fifth, as you were.” You poor little bitch, you wouldn’t know why nobody made a move, not the officers, the noncoms, the brigadiers, the guests, not even the Dogs, you wouldn’t know the devil really exists. And then she jumped and said, “Colonel!” and he said, “My dear lady,” because she was the ambassador’s wife, “I’m at a loss for words,” “Sir, not into the mike,” “I beg you, Colonel,” how long did it last, Skimpy? Not long, everybody was looking at fatty and the mike and the woman, and the next time she spoke we knew she was a gringa. “As a personal favor to me, Colonel?” There was a silence, we all waited at attention, and then, “Cadets! Cadets! We’ll forget this shameful incident, but don’t let it happen again, you know the punishment you deserve and you deserve it thoroughly from the army point of view, but this gracious and distinguished lady,” and he bowed to her, “is your champion.” So the old fart let us go and they told me afterward Gamboa said, “Is this a goddamned nunnery, women giving the orders,” and we were so grateful to her we gave a locomotive cheer, I wonder who invented it, it starts out slow, chug, one two three four five, chug, one two three four, chug, one two three, chug, one two, chug, one, chug, chug, chugchugchug, and over again to chugchugchug, and over again, and the ones from the Guadalupe were sore as hell at our cheers and our chugchugchugs during the athletic meet, we also had to give the ambassador’s wife our hooray, hoorah, even the Dogs began applauding, the officers and noncoms didn’t stop us, it went on, chugchugchug, they kept their eyes on the colonel, the ambassador’s wife and the minister started leaving, the minister turned back and said you think you’re all pretty smart but I’m going to mop up the floor with you, but then he started laughing, and Gen. Mendoza and the ambassadors and the officers and the guests too, chugchugchug, we’re the best in the world, hooray, hoorah, chugchugchug, the cadets of the Leoncio Prado one hundred percent, hooray for Peru, Cadets, someday our country will call for us and we’ll be ready, stouthearted and lofty-minded, “Where’s that Gambarina so I can give him a kiss?” the Jaguar said, “I want to know if he’s still alive after the way I banged his head on the ground,” the woman was bawling with gratitude for all the cheers, Skimpy, life in the Academy is hard and strict but it’s got its compensation, too bad the Circle never got back to what it was, the devil always sticks his nose into anything good, I used to feel wonderful when the thirty of us got together in the latrine, so now we’re going to get screwed on account of that peasant Cava, on account of a lousy pane of glass, for Christ’s sakes stop biting me, Skimpy, you bitch.