Authors: Bella Cruise
I’ve lost him for good, but I can’t lose anything else. I
have to find Pixie, and put this shattered wedding back together.
It’s the only thing I have left.
I make it to Marathon without breaking any speed limits –
barely. The motel is a run-down place on the outskirts of town, with
a broken neon sign and a row of identical rooms running along the
motor court.
I see Buster tied to a post outside a room on the end, so I head
straight there. I tap on the door. “Pixie? Pixie, Theo, open
up. It’s me!”
The door cracks. It’s Theo. “You didn’t bring
anyone, did you?” he asks, looking nervously around.
“No, but it’s not them you have to worry about.” I
push the door wider, and see Pixie sitting cross-legged on one of the
narrow twin beds. It’s a shock to see her without make up and
hair all perfect. In a pair of pink sweatpants and a tank top, she
looks like a college kid on vacation, not the face of a massive TV
brand.
“Are you OK?” I ask, breathing a sigh of relief. “You
can’t just run off like that without telling anyone! We were
all worried sick. Half the staff is out looking for you!”
Pixie’s lip wobbles. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be mad at her.” Theo crosses to stand beside
her. He takes her hand, and gives me a fierce look. “It’s
not Pixie’s fault. She couldn’t stay and marry him --
because we’re in love.”
I try to process it. Park Avenue Princess Pixie, and Theo the wedding
charmer? I look closer. I’ve seen him flirt his way through
every ceremony, but that was different. He means this. He really
loves her.
I sigh, defeated. “You are so fired.”
Theo lifts his chin. “I don’t care. I don’t care
about anything, as long as we’re together.”
I can’t deal with this right now. Theo looks ready to duel for
the love of his woman, and meanwhile, Pixie is just sitting silently
by – like she’s done all month now.
“You, out.” I grab Theo’s arm.
“But—”
“But nothing. Pixie and I need to have a chat. Girls only.”
I shove him out the door. Then I go sit on the bed beside Pixie, and
try to think clearly. “Talk to me,” I tell her. “What’s
going on?”
Pixie’s lower lip tremble turns to tears pooling in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have just left, but
I didn’t know what else to do. My parents were… and
Clyde… and then all the production…” She
sniffles. “I just had to get away! I couldn’t think
straight.”
“And can you now?” I ask gently. There’s noise
outside, but I ignore it. Pixie’s hanging on by a thread here,
and I need to get her back on solid ground.
“I don’t know!” Pixie wails. “Theo’s
like, so amazing, and when I’m with him, I don’t have to
think about anything else. He’s just, you know, he’s
Theo, and he makes me laugh, and feel good, and none of it is for the
cameras.”
“But what about Clyde?”
“He’s so cool, too.” Pixie blinks. “But,
whenever I think about actually saying ‘I do’ and
spending the rest of my life with him, I break out in hives. Look!”
she holds out her arms, which are covered in a bumpy red rash.
“That might just be the sheets here,” I point out.
“You said if I didn’t want to marry Clyde, I could just
leave.”
“Yes.” I say slowly. “But have you thought this
through? You need to be sure you want to end things with him. Not
just a little, but a hundred percent sure.”
Pixie sniffs. “I don’t know! I’m supposed to be
having my bridal breakfast right now, with all those amazing little
pastries and cakes your friend made…”
“Don’t worry about the cakes. You can buy a box any time.
Focus, Pixie.”
She gulps. “Everyone will be waiting for me, won’t they?
My family, and the bridesmaids. God, I can imagine what Lulu and the
rest of them will say. They’ll have a field day if I call it
off. And the tabloids too!” Pixie’s face changes. “Maybe
I should marry him. I mean, it’s just a ceremony, right? I
could do it, and then decide later. Maybe it won’t be so bad. I
mean, I’ve been acting all this time for the cameras. One more
day reading the right lines won’t make a difference.”
Pixie grips my hand, her eyes full of indecision. “Tell me,
Ginny, you have to decide for me. Just tell me what to do!”
I pause. This is it, the moment I could nudge her safely back to
earth. I could promise, everything will be all right, the ceremony
doesn’t have to mean a thing. Better to go through with it than
cause such a big scene; better for my job, for Marcie, for the
network too. She doesn’t even have to sign the marriage
licence, that part isn’t scheduled until later. Just walk down
that aisle, say ‘I do’, and make life a whole lot easier
for a whole lot of people, myself included.
But my heart is already aching for the man I’ve lost –
for the second and final time. I can’t bring myself to steer
her away from her heart’s desire, when there’s a guy
outside the door who would do anything for her, even risk ruining his
whole career. Maybe Theo isn’t the love of her life. Maybe
Clyde isn’t either, but she can’t figure it out like
this.
And I won’t be the one to push her down the wrong path, away
from true love.
“Pixie, listen to me.” I take both her hands in mine and
look into her eyes. “You have to follow your heart. You already
know, deep down, what you have to do.”
“But I’m scared,” Pixie whispers.
“I know. It’s scary to go after what you want most in the
world, and risk it all falling apart. But that’s a risk you
have to take. Don’t take the easy way out, whatever it is.
You’ll only regret it a hundred times over, for the rest of
your life. Don’t just run and hide. You have to own up to your
choices, and face them head on.”
I swallow, feeling the ache of regret echo deep inside me. “I
ran once,” I admit. “I was young, and confused, and
couldn’t see any other way. I left without saying goodbye, and
it was the worst mistake of my life.”
Pixie frowns. “So you think I should go through with the
wedding?”
“I didn’t say that.” I shake my head. “But
whatever you choose, you have to make the hard choice, and be honest
with the people in your life. Clyde deserves an answer either way,
and Theo does too.”
Pixie deflates with a sigh. “I know.” she mutters.
“But more important than being honest with them is being honest
with yourself. Don’t run from the way you feel. The man I left,
I went because I was scared to love him. Scared at how much he
mattered to me, the power he had over my choices. I would have built
my whole world around him, and that was too much for me.”
“Would you take it back, if you could?” Pixie blinks at
me.
“In a heartbeat. I was so scared of losing him that I chose to
be the one who left first. I guess I was trying to save myself pain,”
I admit, thinking back to that dark night ten years ago. “But
the truth is, I just hurt everyone more in the end. I broke
something, the love we shared, and I can’t ever get it back
again. It’s the biggest regret of my life,” I say sadly,
picturing Luke’s distant expression. “So you need to be
sure when you leave someone. Because sometimes, you can’t ever
heal that wound. A broken heart stays broken, and it can’t be
fixed back together again, no matter how hard you try – or how
much you still love them.”
There’s a pause, and then I hear a hushed whisper behind me.
“Are you getting this?”
I snap my head around, and see the motel room door ajar – and
Neil wedged in the gap, his camera lifted. The red light winking.
He’s filmed it all.
Slowly, he lowers his camera and stands aside. He, at least, has the
decency to look ashamed. Marcie is behind him, a look of pure fury on
her face.
I expect to feel panic. I’m the one who just hammered the final
nail into this TV show’s coffin. But instead, a strange sense
of calm washes over me. This job won’t be the most important
thing I’ve lost today. Not even close.
I turn back to Pixie. “Don’t worry,” I tell her.
“You can do this.”
But it’s not my place to help her anymore. I pick up my keys,
walk past the crew, and leave.
“Are you sure you can’t stay a little longer?”
I load my last suitcase into the car and give my aunts a reluctant
smile. “I’m sorry, but I should really be getting back to
New York. It’s a couple of days driving, and my team there
needs me already.”
Rae sighs, and gives me a hug. “We’re going to miss you,
sweetheart.”
“I don’t know why you’re leaving now,”
Bettina adds, looking put out. “So what if that Porter boy
doesn’t know a good thing when he has it. Stick around and make
him sorry!”
I bring her into the hug. “I wish I could change his mind, I
really do. But he’s made it clear there’s no future for
us. If he says it’s over, there’s nothing I can do.”
I hear a snort. Jules is behind us, drinking from my bottle of
goodbye bourbon. “You guys are such dummies,” she says
affectionately.
“Jules,” I warn her. We’ve been over this a dozen
times since I told her I was leaving.
“I’m just saying! If you leave now, you’ll prove
him right. The only reason he called it off first was he thought you
were going to pack up and go again. And here you are, right on cue.”
I take the bottle from her. “I love you, too.”
Jules begrudges me a smile. “It’s not fair! I was looking
forward to hanging out again. Friday nights on the town, and Saturday
morning waffles…”
“We can do all of that!” I promise. “Come visit me
in New York, anytime. And I’ll be back down here too.”
Eventually
, I add silently. When it doesn’t hurt to
think about Luke, or look for his face on every street in town.
“Fine,” Jules sighs exaggeratedly. “I guess I can
come sleep on your couch rent-free in the Big Apple and eat my weight
in fancy big city cupcakes.”
“Atta girl.”
We head back inside. I do a last check for any belongings I’ve
left behind, but there’s a surprise waiting for me on the back
porch: Pixie and Clyde, looking like they’re having a real
heart to heart.
Rae draws me aside. “I thought it would be good karma to help
them work through this difficult time,” she whispers. Pixie
looks up.
“Ginny!” she cries, waving me over. “You’re
just in time. You can be the first to know. We’ve called off
the wedding.”
“And you’re both OK with that?” I check carefully.
“Yes,” Pixie beams. “One hundred percent.”
Clyde nods along. “To be honest, love, I’m getting too
old for these shenanigans. My ulcer’s been giving me terrible
grief, all these late nights. No hard feelings, petal,” he pats
Pixie on the hand. “You and the young Buck can go have your
fun.”
That’s when I see Theo pacing by the chicken coop, looking
tense.
“It’s OK, babe!” Pixie calls. “We’re
good!”
Theo comes racing back across the yard. He sweeps Pixie up and spins
her around, and they both giggle with joy.
“See?” Clyde tells me. His expression is wistful, but not
heartbroken, I’m relieved to see. “Twenty years ago,
maybe, but if I try that nonsense now, my back’s going to give
out.”
I shake his hand. “Do you know what you’re going to do
next, now the show is done?”
“Take a good long holiday,” he chuckles. “Maybe hit
the road, play some shows. This old dog may not be learning any new
tricks, but I’m still pretty good at the old ones!”
I laugh, happy that this portion of the wedding project hasn’t
ended in tears. Theo and Pixie are murmuring sweet nothings to each
other on the porch swing, while Clyde ambles off to go talk to my
aunts.
“So this is where you’re all hiding.”
Marcie stalks out onto the porch and looks around. “I should
have guessed.”
I brace myself for trouble, but instead, she just holds out her hand
to Jules and gestures for the bottle. “You ruined my wedding
and destroyed my career. The least you can do is pour me a drink.”
Jules hands it over. “I’ll go get everyone a glass,”
she says, and heads inside.
Marcie slumps down in a chair and kicks off her heels, taking a swig.
“These things have been killing me all week,” she says,
shoving them off the porch. “And… wait a second…”
she reaches up under her shirt, wriggles around, and then pulls her
bra out from her sleeve.
“Ahh,” she sighs happily, taking another swallow of
bourbon. “That’s better.”
I watch, confused. The Marcie I know would be tearing me limb from
limb right now. Has she been body-swapped and forgotten to mention
it? “Are you feeling OK?” I ask gently. “I know
things have been stressful…”
“I’m great. Better than great. Do you know how good it
feels to finally not have to give a damn?” Marcie beams. “Like
right now, there’s no sound mic-ed to those two, we’re
missing all the good stuff. Who cares?” She raises the bottle
in a toast. “I have eighty-two voicemails on my phone—no,
make that eight-three—but I don’t need to answer, I know
what they all say. ‘Grave disappointment’, ‘Dereliction
of duty’, blah blah blah. Brent beat them to it. He summoned me
just an hour ago. I’m done!”
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I really am. I know
how much this event meant to you.”
“Oh, who gives a rat’s ass anymore?” she sighs.
“I’ve been trailing that girl around for three years now,
putting up with all of her airhead friends. I spend my Friday nights
reviewing tape, and my weekends writing scripts, and what do I have
to show for it? Nothing! The only long-term relationship I have is
with my dog-sitter, and he charges by the hour.”
“So, you’re OK?” I’m still so confused.
“I will be, in about five drinks time.” Marcie gulps,
looking over at me. “Don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes,
you can’t avoid the drama.”
“Bourbon all around,” Jules says, re-emerging with a tray
of glasses. “And guess what I found still in the cooler in my
van? Three tiers of pure chocolate decadence.” She displays the
amazing wedding cake – and a knife. “It’d be a
shame to let all this buttercream go to waste.”