Bearview Bride (BBW Bear Shifter Paranormal Romance) (4 page)

On her screen, tiny thumbnails of her photos appeared. Tess smiled. They looked good even at this miniscule size, especially with that golden light and the imperious mountain peak. One of these had to be worth something to Gary.

She went through the photos one by one, culling those that weren’t quite right. The photo that would help her make rent was in here. She just had to find it.

Tess scrolled through the pictures three times before she realized she wasn’t paying attention. She sighed. It was that damned Cade. She could hardly believe any part of what had happened that afternoon. As embarrassing as it was to have needed rescuing, it was worse that a man so handsome had to see her be so clumsy and stupid. However, with the way his abs rippled—she hadn’t even known abs could do that—she hadn’t totally minded.

And he had been naked. Tess blushed at the memory. She wished she hadn’t stared at him so much. He’d probably wondered if she’d been concussed. She had no reason to stare at such a devastatingly handsome man—he was way out of her league. Cade would never have even noticed her if she hadn’t been such a klutz.

Enlarging one of her photos, Tess forced herself to focus. She needed to decide if this was the best composition, or if she needed to crop off the edges. Though she could sharpen her image and slightly bump up the contrast, that was all she dared to do. Gary hated when photographers relied too much on post-production, and he always sniffed any editing out.

Luckily for her, these photos were almost perfect. Tess wrinkled her nose. Something was definitely still missing. But maybe Gary wouldn’t notice with the gorgeous lighting and stunning mountain.

Tess stared at the peak on her screen. Mount Bliss. Well, of course they called it that if men like Cade lived there. She hoped she hadn’t made too much of a fool out of herself. Had he noticed her staring at him? She couldn’t help it, though. When he put on that tight shirt, it had almost been worse than his nakedness. The shirt left nothing to the imagination, and just made her want to rip it off him.

Tess frowned. She really needed to concentrate. Earlier, she’d spent several minutes shivering under ice cold water in Cade’s shower, but apparently that hadn’t helped. Especially after that look he’d given her when she went to retrieve her clothes in just a towel.

Closing her eyes, Tess felt a dull throb between her legs. He had even taken a step toward her, before that knock on the door. What had he been planning to do?

“He was probably planning to hand you your clothes,” she muttered to herself. “Idiot. Get to work.”

Gazing at her screen, she tried several crops, shaving part of the photo off pixel by pixel. She couldn’t waste time thinking about Cade, no matter how tall or muscled or insanely handsome he was. It wasn’t like he would want her. He would want someone thin and pretty, if he didn’t have her already. But then why had he asked if the waders belonged to her boyfriend?

Tess blushed again, thinking of his warm hand enveloping hers. At his touch, she had felt a jolt run all the way up her spine and fizz through her limbs. She’d had to pull away before she did something to really embarrass herself, like ask him on a date or something. He was probably drowning in dates.

Somehow, she’d managed to narrow her favorite photos down to five. That would be enough for Gary. He only ever bought one shot at a time from her, when he bought anything. He also said that he hated indecisive photographers who sent him entire gigabytes of pictures. He’d told Tess that the day she sent him more than ten pictures, he’d know she’d lost the eye for photography.

She typed up a quick email, including her location and metadata for all her files, and sent it to Gary. Sitting back, Tess stared at the far wall. Cade had said he could find her a grizzly. If she could get one in the frame, with the picturesque Mount Bliss in the background… now that would be some photo.

But had Cade really meant it? She didn’t doubt he could find a grizzly every once in a while, but maybe he had offered the opportunity just to be nice. He couldn’t actually want to go tramping through the woods with her. And, knowing her luck, she’d probably fall off a cliff.

Pushing her laptop away, Tess lay back on her protesting mattress. She didn’t have time to think about grizzlies or hot, confusing men. She needed to get her life together. As soon as Gary bought one of her photos, she would figure out a plan for how to pay rent next month.

Her laptop dinged as a new email arrived. Tess grabbed her computer, her pulse pounding. Gary didn’t usually respond this fast. Not unless…

Hey Tess. Good photos. Not great. Have to pass. Sorry.

Gary

Her mouth went dry. Gary had to buy one of her photos. If he didn’t, she’d have no chance of making rent.

Fingers trembling, Tess punched his number into her phone.

He picked up on the first ring. “Hi, Tess.”

“Gary, please—”

“Don’t start with me, darlin’. I can’t buy every photo of yours that crosses my desk just because I used to buy your dad’s. And believe me, I turned him down plenty of times.”

She tried not to let her voice waver. “I lost my job to take those photos.”

“Tess…”

“I almost died to get those photos!”

“I’m sorry, Tess. We’re going in a different direction with the article. Your photos just don’t quite fit. You can try again next week.”

“But next week will be too late.”

There was a pause on the other end, a sure sign that Gary was flipping through a stack of proofs. “How forgiving is your boss?”

“Gary.” Her traitorous voice broke on her. “You were my dad’s best friend. You can’t help me out a little?”

“I couldn’t afford to hire you even if we had any staff positions open.” There was another pause, but this time it felt like it was filled with pity instead of proofs. “Try me in six months, darlin’. I’ll see what I can do.”

She couldn’t ask for more than that. “Thanks, Gary.” Then she hung up, before he could call her darlin’ again.

Tess fell back, pulling her pillow over her head. How was she going to make rent?

She dug her fingers into her pillowcase. Though she didn’t have money, she did have something of value. Sliding the pillow off her face, she looked at the black case in the corner of her room. It held all her father’s gear: camera bodies, lenses, flashes, and other assorted equipment.

He had never made much money. Everything he had had either gone toward Tess or photography—his two great loves. Even just a few pieces of his gear could go far—rent for a year, or a trip to Africa…

Tess rolled over, balling her fists. She could never sell her father’s gear. Never. Not even for Africa. It was all she had left of him. Besides, her dream was more than just to take some pretty shots in Africa—it was to take them with her father’s gear. She hoped it would feel like he was with her again.

Hot tears formed in her eyes. It had been so long. Seven years. She had to work harder to call up memories of him. The way his forehead creased when he was lining up a shot, his bellowing laugh, the way he ruffled her hair. She never wanted to forget those things.

But it was getting harder to remember.

She would never sell his gear. She would find another job, find another way to make rent and to get herself to Africa.

Tess sat up, filled with new resolve. Enough to make her stand up, walk out the door, and drive all the way to Big Meadows.

She sat in her mother’s driveway, waiting for her nerves to settle. She really, really didn’t want to do this. But Africa was worth it.

Ignoring the dread in the pit of her stomach, Tess got out of her car and walked up the overgrown path to the front door. She tried not to look too long at the little yellow double wide. Though it appeared to be adorable from the outside, it had ruined the color yellow for her.

Squaring her shoulders, Tess rang the bell.

She could hear the scrape of a chair inside. Her mother never took more than ten seconds to open the door. The doorbell meant the possibility of gossip, and that was something that Kim Holt wouldn’t dream of passing up.

The door snapped open. Her mother’s face fell.

“Please, try to contain your excitement,” Tess said. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” her mother said. Before she closed the door, she peered over Tess’s shoulder.

“Are you expecting someone?”

Reluctantly, her mother closed the door. “Nancy thinks the UPS man has a crush on her, and she was expecting a delivery today. But it must not have arrived, because she’d
definitely
have told me if he made another pass at her.” She sighed dramatically. “Maybe she’ll have something to tell me tomorrow.”

“I hope she’ll have some exciting news.” Tess had tried to sound enthusiastic, but her mother eyed her warily.

“Why are you here, Tess?”

“I just wanted to say hello.”

“And I’m the Queen of England. You’re just like your father, you know. You never show up here until you need something.”

Tess felt her throat tighten. Ever since her father had died, it seemed that her mother needed someone to take out her hostility on. Lately, every conversation they had tended to devolve into an argument.

“I’ve had a really bad day, Mom. I just lost my job.”

“You what?” Kim’s eyes flashed.

Tess looked at the floor. Why had she even bothered to come here? Most mothers would probably give their children at least a hug upon hearing such news, but not hers.

“How did you lose your job?” her mother asked.

“I had to leave early.” Tess gazed at the far wall, which was taken up by a huge glass case full of porcelain dolls that could only be looked at, never played with. They stared back at her with mocking eyes. When Tess had been growing up, they could always afford another doll, but never so much as a roll of film for her.

“You were taking some more useless pictures, weren’t you.” Her mother pursed her lips.

“I can’t help it. That’s all I want to do. I can’t stand all the filing, scheduling, and washing Mr. Henderson’s nine coffee mugs.”

“We all have to do shit we don’t like here in the real world.”

“I know that, so please stop lecturing me. I’ll find another crappy job.” Tess let out a breath. She couldn’t raise her voice. The second she did, her mom would get louder, and soon they’d be in a screaming match. “I was wondering if I could move in for a month or two. That’s all. I just need to get back on my feet.”

“What you need is to sell that idiotic camera gear and get an actual career. Or would you rather end up a failure like your father?”

“He wasn’t a failure!” Great. Now she was shouting.

Her mother merely scoffed. “He could take a pretty picture or two. But that’s not a success. He never had money, Tess. And you won’t either if you follow in his footsteps.”

“I’m just going to be short this one month. You won’t help me even for a month?” Tess hated the words that were coming out of her mouth. The last thing she wanted to do was live under the disapproving eyes of her mother and her dolls every single day. But what other choice did she have?

Her mother crossed her arms. “You need to find something that makes money, because you aren’t getting any from me.”

Tess could feel the tears forming. “You really want me to sell Dad’s gear?”

“What good is it, anyway? You should sell it all before you end up wasting your life behind a shutter like he did, not caring about anything or anyone except his precious gear.”

Tess glared at her mother. “He cared about me.”

“You can keep telling yourself that, but it doesn’t make it true.”

Turning on her heel, Tess strode out, slamming the door behind her. Getting into her car, she slammed that door too, then stomped on the gas pedal to get away from the cramped trailer full of bad memories.

She turned onto the main road, not really caring that she was going at least ten over the speed limit. Her father had cared about her. Of course he had.

Then why was he never home?
a small voice whispered to her.
He couldn’t stand his wife, but he was fine leaving you alone with her.

Angrily, Tess dashed the tears from her eyes. The road was becoming blurry enough that she had to slow down. She rolled down the windows, letting the night air dry her cheeks. She couldn’t let her mother’s words get to her. Kim Holt always knew exactly what to say to make Tess furious. Sometimes, Tess thought she did it just for fun. Really, though, she knew her father had loved her. And even if he hadn’t, it would still be fucked up for her mom to say that out loud.

Tess found herself passing the turn that led to her apartment. She didn’t want to be alone right now. Maybe she should head back up the mountain and see if the dinner offer from Cade was still on the table.

She shook her head with a smile. Now she was just being ridiculous.

Tess drove on, until she arrived at the Shady Pines apartment complex.

“Don’t die,” she ordered her car as she turned it off.

As she jogged up the three flights of metal slatted stairs, Tess hoped that Aubrey was alone. She would hate to ruin a date night. Her friend hadn’t had much luck in that arena lately.

Tentatively, she knocked on the door. It wasn’t long before Aubrey answered, wearing an apron.

“Tess!” She gave her a long hug. Tess always liked Aubrey’s hugs. It was clear that she meant every one. “Oh,” Aubrey said, drawing back, “I hope I didn’t get any flour on you.”

“I don’t mind.” Tess didn’t even bother brushing off the line of powder that clung to her shirt. Knowing Aubrey, more flour would be flying by the end of the night. “It’s not the worst thing that’s happened to me today. I’m not interrupting, am I?”

“Of course not. I was just getting started on a cake.” Aubrey motioned for Tess to come in, closing the door behind her. “I’m thinking of trying a new flavor. Lemon base and raspberry icing. Does that sound good to you?”

“It sounds great.” Tess slid into a bar stool at the counter where Aubrey had all her bowls and ingredients laid out.

“So are you going to tell me about your day?” Aubrey dumped a cup of flour into a bowl. “Because—and don’t take this the wrong way—you look kind of terrible. Like you’ve been run over by a buffalo.”