Beautifully Awake (4 page)

Sam stood with me in the long sun-filled hallway outside the operating room suites. It had the most beautiful view of the Schuylkill River. If you had to go under the knife, at least your last sight was serene. God, that was morbid.

“He told us to meet him here. You stay put, I don’t want him pissed because I lost you. I’m gonna run inside and grab you a hat, mask and some shoe booties.”

“Thanks. Hey listen, I’m sorry I snapped earlier. This OR nonsense is definitely not by choice.”

Sam shook his head and pushed through the swinging door toward the scrub sink. I was actually going into an OR. It was insane. I never wanted to be a doctor, nurse, PA ... nothing involving blood and guts. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell.

U r never gonna believe this…

About to go into new chief’s OR

Gotta sit w a patient during surgery

I’m freakin out

“Oh good, I caught you.”

I popped my cell back in my pocket and turned to see Guy heading down the hall. He slapped me on the back and gave me a wink.

“Blue looks great on you, doll.”

I blushed. “Thanks.”

He sort of always knew how to make me feel better.

“So here’s the deal if you don’t throw up or pass out ... we’re gonna celebrate tonight, my treat.” He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me in for a hug.

“You two look cozy.” Sam chuckled, pushing through the swinging door with my
crap.

“Whatever, Petit, give me that shit.” Guy grabbed the hat, mask and booties from Sam’s hand. Really, shoe booties?

“Am I interrupting something?” Chase growled.

No joke, he growled. My heart leaped into my throat. The sound of his voice did something crazy to my insides.

“Just getting her ready,” Sam interjected.

My pocket vibrated with a new text. I spun around to face Chase standing directly behind me, totally invading my personal space
.
I inhaled a sharp breath and my heart rate doubled
again
. I resisted taking a step back. The distraction of his faded blue scrubs hugging so many of the right places glued me to the floor. With his white lab coat missing, this man standing in front of me was truly a sexy chiseled masterpiece. My nipples peaked and everything lower clenched. This reaction was foreign to me. Nothing in my lower regions ever clenched. Period.

His piercing gaze scanned my body and oozed intensity. “Blue scrubs, really, Sam?” He was angry. “Get her another fucking color now, any color but blue.”

Sam and Guy stood motionless with puzzled faces. I was just as confused as they were. No, actually more.

“I said
another color now
, Hunter, make
this
happen.”

Looking startled, both residents turned and quickly walked away with not a word.

Embarrassed and aroused was not a good combo. The heat between my legs was slowly rising to my cheeks. I started to ramble, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I should have known—blue is totally a doctor color. I should have never put these on, I’ll go change...”

He put his pointer finger to his lips then motioned me to follow him through the first set of swinging doors. “Come.”

I followed, unable to resist his magnetic pull. He grabbed a blue cap from the shelf on top of the scrub sink and tied it around the back of his head. The veins in his forearms sliced through his defined muscles. It was sexy as hell. Then he grabbed his mask and pinched it at the bridge of his nose. He proceeded to reach up and tie one set of strings at the top of his head and the other set at the base of his neck. My eyes fixated on the tiny strip of skin peeking out from under the bottom edge of his scrub top. The tease of rock hard abs and bits of dark brown hair trickling below his waistband was enough to almost put me over the edge.

“Did you eat?” He washed his hands and arms with a scrub brush. I didn’t reply. He turned to face me, his dripping wet arms held high in the air. Only his damn eyes exposed. How was it possible to be that hot in a pair of scrubs? “Lili, did you eat anything today?”

“Yeah.” Did coffee count? “I’m good, thanks,” I lied. Like hell I ate.

“I’ll feed you later.” He shook his head, turned and bumped the swinging door with his ass disappearing into the operating room.

“Huh?” I looked down at my blue scrubs as Sam barreled into the tiny scrub sink room with another pair of scrubs in hand.

“There you are, here, go change before he goes postal on my ass.”

“Thanks.” I needed a pause. A big one. In record time I made it to the locker room, changed into the new pair of scrubs and splashed cold water on my face, hoping to refocus. Did he say he was going to feed me? I pulled out my phone. Sierra was good at distraction, and I knew there would be a text waiting.

So rumors were right huh?

He’s a dick.

A dick, yes. A jumpstart to my libido, yes. Together not a good combination. I silenced my ringer, dropped my cell back in my pocket and headed toward the OR. Staring down the empty long hallway I wondered what the hell I was doing on about a million different levels.

Guy rounded the corner and jogged toward me, interrupting the tailspin going on in my head. “I needed to see it for myself. Sam wasn’t lying when he said they were shit brown.” He laughed. “I would have paid to see you in there. I’m jealous of Jackson.” He bumped my hip, but this time I was ready for him. Also helped that I was in flats. Holy hell. Fuchsia ballet flats with shit brown scrubs ... just lovely. It just kept getting better.

“Oh shut it, Guy, not helping!”

He chuckled. “You always look great, show them who’s boss, remember our deal ... just no puking or passing out.” He placed the bouffant blue hat on my head, securing my hair inside. He really was so sweet.

“Thanks, Guy.”

“Now go before he gives you shit for being late, seems something crawled up his ass and died today.” He pushed me toward the door. “Wait, Lil, your mask.”

I so didn’t belong here.

“Don’t give me that look. Turn around.” He tied my mask at the top of my head and at the base of my neck.

“I can’t breathe.”

“Yes you can, pinch the mask at your nose, go get ‘em, doll!” He slapped my ass and pushed me through the swinging doors. It was too late to protest. I was staring at a sea of blue, and I was the only one looking like shit.

A
fter the case, Chase followed me into the little scrub sink room, tore his mask from his face and ripped his cap from his head. “Lili, go change and meet me in the lobby. And don’t get lost in the recovery room.”

Really.
After seven hours of pure adrenaline, I was exhausted and just wanted to go home. “Um, okay.”

“And don’t worry about Mrs. Peterson. I have her heavily sedated for tonight, you can see her in the morning.”

How did he know that’s where I was headed?

Jackson popped his head into the tiny room. “Kiddo, you rocked it! You were a pro, you totally kept her calm.” He squeezed my arm.

“Thanks, Jack, appreciate it. The talking definitely lowered both our anxiety levels.” I smiled, remembering our conversation. Kelly relived their last beach vacation and gushed about how adorable her toddler twins were splashing in the water and playing in the sand. A memory I could only wish for.

“Totally.” Jack smiled and looked over at Chase. “Brilliant, man, sick job in there, great call having Lili sit for the case.”

Chase half smiled. At least he took a compliment gracefully.

“Lil, I’ll catch you later, I’m gonna take her to the recovery room and write her orders.”

“Jack, I’ll take her down to recovery, you just write her orders. Don’t be cheap with the pain meds either, I want her comfortable.”

Jackson looked confused; maybe attendings didn’t usually roll the patient to recovery. What did I know?

“Lili, I’m going to get her situated and find her husband. Meet me in the lobby.” His gaze locked with mine as he waited. “Yes?”

I just wanted to change and go home, but “yeah, fine” came out of my mouth.

He kept staring until I couldn’t take the awkwardness any more and looked down. Crap, these tan scrubs were freaking hideous.

“F
ound Mr. Peterson,” Chase said as he strolled through the very posh lobby of Philadelphia Hospital. Could have saved hospital money, leather wasn’t really necessary.

“Oh good. I know he was really worried.” I knew I was.

“Yeah, he was relieved the whole thing’s over.”

“They’re nice people. Kelly’s so sweet. She’s looking forward to getting home to her twins. They must miss her like crazy. She really seems like such a wonderful mama.”

“Mama?”

“Yeah, that’s what her twins call her. It’s cute, right?”

He looked at me so strange, I guessed he didn’t find it cute. Okay...

“By the way, the OR was awesome and such a rush. I can’t believe you get to do that every day. I was in awe when anesthesia woke her up, and you operated while I was talking to her…”

“I know, I know-” He interrupted my rant. “You ready? I’m starving.” His gaze was unnerving. He motioned for the exit with one hand, while his fingertips from the other brushed my lower back. My temperature spiked. Fresh air was going to be good.

“Hey doll, wait up.” Guy jetted toward us. Thank god for the pause. “Heard you rocked the OR ... bummed Jackson scrubbed, would’ve loved to have seen you in there. Anyway, just saw Kate, said Mrs. Peterson’s awake now and was so happy you were there with her.” He gave me a huge smile, flashing his adorable dimple. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks. I can see you had a lot of confidence in me,” I said, oozing sarcasm.

He grinned and held up his hand to give me a high five. “Come on, let’s go celebrate.”

“You’re so silly sometimes, really a high five—what are we ten?” I slapped his hand and he pulled me in for a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Oh you love it!” he teased.

“Hunter, you’re not done here.” Seems our sweet exchange was interrupted by a glaring Chase. One arm remained firmly crossed against his chest, while the other raked through his hair. He blew a sharp breath through his nose. “Sam needs help with the new admission. And are all my cases ready for tomorrow? I don’t want any hold ups ... at all.”

Guy retracted and nodded his head submissively. I understood you never talked back to your attending or you could kiss your career goodbye, but what the hell was that?

“Ms. Porter, you’re with me. Let’s go.”

I acknowledged him with a shake of my head and turned to say goodbye to Guy.

“See you in the morning, Dr. Hunter, have a good night.”

“Bye, Lil, you owe me ... a rain check?”

“Sounds good.” And it did.

I followed Chase across the street, not sure where the hell we were going or why. The first five floors of Franklin Towers were the surgery clinic floors; the neurosurgery clinic was on the second. The remaining fifteen floors were hospital housing. I was jealous of the doctors who got to roll out of bed and literally cross the street. At that ungodly hour nothing was more convenient.

“Are we headed to your office to look at tomorrow’s schedule? Wanna go over new admissions and discharges?” I rambled.

“Yeah, yeah, we can do that later, but I said I was starving. Get on the elevator.”

His face was expressionless, yet he stared right at me.
Do that later?
My mind spun with a thousand questions but couldn’t formulate a damn thought. I opened my dry mouth to speak, but I was floundering for a reason to not get on the damn elevator. His fingertips traced my lower back again, and I practically fell in. He put in his elevator key and pressed floor sixteen. Sixteen?
His apartment?
Confusion pummeled through my body, making my stomach flip-flop at the quick rise in the elevator.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Getting comfortable in my hot boss’s apartment—the boss I barely knew—there was nothing comfortable about this.

“If the doorbell rings, have them set the food on the dining room table.”

He turned and strolled down the hall and out of sight. The silence was interrupted with running water. A lot of running water. Was he taking a freaking shower?

I hadn’t budged past his apartment door mat. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping for a pause, a skip, hell, maybe a rewind, but instead my vision was clouded with images of his entire body, dripping wet.

I slowly peeled my eyes open, hoping for a distraction. The grey and black hues, the large inviting sectional, huge flat screen TV, and gorgeous mahogany dining set screamed bachelor pad, but so tastefully done. It was obviously nice to be a recruited attending invited to live in hospital housing. I placed my bag at the edge of the sofa and took a deep breath. Why was I here?

The harsh sound of the doorbell startled me. I peeked through the keyhole. Takeout and I didn’t have a dollar to my name. Crap. I meant to hit the ATM tonight, but I was in a state of distraction to say the least.

“Good evening, Miss, where would you like your dinner?”

“Um … oh … on the table, please,” I mumbled. “Do you take credit card?”

“Oh, Miss, no worries. Dr. Colton took care of it.” He arranged the dinner on the dining room table. “Have a pleasant evening, enjoy your dinner.” He turned and made a beeline for the door, quietly shutting it behind him.

I cringed at my lack of city manners. Sierra
NEVER
went without tipping, she would have killed me. I let out a giant sigh and headed toward the table. Sushi.

Wrangel didn’t do sushi. And I managed in the last three years to avoid it like the plague.

“Dinner.” His voice was sexy as hell. “Sit. You must be starving.” He barked instructions like he was still in the OR.

He made his way over to the table, while my eyes fixed on his unruly wet locks hanging down his forehead. I should have been formulating a coherent way of articulating how odd and borderline inappropriate it was for me to even be here, but instead I focused on how everything below tingled with the thought of running my fingers through that hair.

“You know, I really should be getting home, I don’t want to impose. I agreed to come because I thought we’d go over patients for tomorrow. It has been a long day and I’m exhausted.” I reached for my bag.

“Stay.” He didn’t even attempt to make it sound like a question. He pulled out a dining room chair and sat.

“Excuse me?” My anxiety peaked. It was really time to politely excuse myself.

“Stay, have dinner, I invited you.”

“You did?”

“I said I was starving and I know you must be and-” he paused, thinking. He bit his lower lip and ran his hands through his
yummy
dark chocolate brown hair.

I inhaled deeply then bit my lower lip so hard I thought I tasted blood.

“I thought you would join me. I told you I would feed you later. Sit?”

This time, it sounded more like a question. Not that it mattered, my body was not going to let me leave, even though my mind was screaming to get the hell out of there.

“Um, well okay, but I really can’t stay long.” I pulled out the chair across from him and sat, fidgeting with my nails. Why was I so nervous? I was acting totally ridiculous, but this felt oddly similar to a first date, even though I haven’t had one of those in, well ...
years.

“Fine. Beer or sake?” he asked.

I looked at the table and inwardly cringed. The piece of art in front of me was unfortunately a table full of colorful sushi. Too bad we couldn’t sit and just admire it all night. My stomach did another flip-flop. A slow wave of nausea rolled through me. I should have bolted when I had the chance.

“Sake?”

“Yes, sake—Japanese rice wine, goes with sushi—you want some?”

Couldn’t pass up wine, I needed something to diffuse this anxiety.

“Um ... sure.”

“I’m gonna grab a beer from the fridge and a shot glass.” He stood up and headed for the kitchen.

I reached for a large wine glass from his mahogany credenza and proceeded to pour myself a very large glass of sake—I thought that’s what he called it. I lifted my glass to take my first sip when he returned with a beer in one hand, shot glass in the other.

“Thirsty, huh ... guess you don’t need the shot glass.” A small chuckle left those sexy lips.

Shot glass? Why the hell did I need a shot glass? “Ahh ... no ... ahhh, sorry I helped myself. Just a very long day ... um, figured you didn’t need to wait on me.”

“Relax, Blue.”

I must have sounded like a bumbling idiot. I needed to get a freaking grip. I stared down at my cloudy wine.
Why’s it cloudy?
I had not a minute longer to analyze. I took a huge swig. The burn was exactly what I needed.

“Blue.”

I looked up. And squinted with I’m sure a very confused look on my face.
Is he calling me blue?

“Help yourself.”

There was no way in hell that raw fish was coming anywhere near my mouth.

“I’m really not that hungry ... I had a big lunch with Kate. I’ll just have some of that aa-aa-” The very green looking salad type dish caught my eye. “Some of that ... salad.” I pointed to the fluorescent lime green heap.

He laughed. “You’re joking, you’re not just eating seaweed salad. For one, I’m not convinced you even had lunch, and two, if you did, that was like eight hours ago. Seven of those were in an OR with me.” He shook his head and frowned.

I didn’t hear anything past seaweed. I was silently trying to control my gag reflex. I picked up my glass and took a giant swig, trying to tame the lump in my throat. What the hell have I gotten myself into? On
so
many levels…

“You’ve never had sushi, have you?” He cockily turned up his lips.

“Well, I … um, grew up in a really small town up north—when I say small I mean
small
, like population
six hundred and fifty-two
small—sushi was not an option.”

He grinned, clearing enjoying the fact that I had never had sushi. “Well, you have to give it a chance ... here.” His chopsticks expertly picked up a beautifully wrapped little parcel and placed it on my plate.

Was it possible to be turned on by watching someone flex their forearm? Those tingles continued.

“This one isn’t raw, it’s a California roll. Try it.”

I pulled my eyes from his chiseled arms to admire the pink and green hues. “It’s just too pretty to eat.” I giggled. Shit. I giggled. I was buzzed already, enough to giggle. Crap. Mental note. Baby nursery in pink and green. Damn, I needed to stop procrastinating. There was no damn way he was letting me leave without trying a piece. I took another rather large swig of sake; it was now or never. Only thing to lose was my stomach contents.

I liked Chinese food, so I was pretty savvy with chopsticks. I picked up the roll and popped it in my mouth, chewed twice and swallowed. Chase sat, arms crossed, critiquing my every move. My eyes bounced back to his perfectly tanned arms and sculpted biceps tugging on his dark charcoal t-shirt. The distraction helped me get through the chewing and swallowing part.

He smiled. “What’d ya think? Did you even taste it? I’m not sure you even chewed.”

I chugged my remaining sake, washing it down. “It wasn’t so bad.” I smiled back. I managed to eat three more pieces while I watched Chase consume at least three or four entire rolls. He had some appetite. I wondered where he stored it; the man didn’t have an ounce of body fat anywhere.

“You finished? Come.” He motioned for me to follow him over to the couch. I stood up and attempted to clean up our dinner dishes. I was tipsy. Seven hours in the OR must have dehydrated the hell out of me.

“Leave it, I’ll deal with it later.” He grabbed another beer from the fridge and headed toward the couch.

“You sure?”

“Lili, come.” He walked from the kitchen to his large sectional in the living room. My eyes roamed from his fitted dark jeans hanging so delectably from his hips back to the dark charcoal t-shirt spreading across his muscular back. Flashbacks from the scrub sink saturated my brain. My attraction to this man boggled my mind.

I was relieved he instructed to leave everything on the table. I needed a seat, definitely feeling light headed. My mind raced with some seriously dirty thoughts. Giving my glass a little refill, I headed toward the couch. The wine seemed to be working, even though it reminded me more of rubbing alcohol than wine. He obviously had a more refined palate than mine.

I kicked off my shoes and curled my legs up under my bottom. He stared at me and smirked.

“Comfortable?” He chose the cushion right next to mine and angled his body to face me, resting his arm along the back of the couch. My body tightened at his close proximity. I lifted my glass to my lips and sipped. A drunken hot mess was closely approaching.

After reviewing a couple of our patients and discussing Kelly’s case, he dove directly into my personal life. A place I didn’t like to frequent.

“So Blue, how’d you end up in Philly?”

I sighed and took another sip. Was it too late to turn back?

“To be honest, if it wasn’t for my best friend I wouldn’t be here. I grew up in one of those towns where everyone knew everyone’s business. My dad couldn’t afford to send me away for college, so in a way I was stuck. Born in Wrangel. Die in Wrangel. Crazy town motto.” I shrugged. “Unfortunately my father didn’t know any other way to raise me. I ended up putting myself through community college.”

“Wow, that’s some feat,” he said, nodding in approval. “What’s your degree in?”

“I got a certificate degree as a social worker-slash-case manager, an extra year tuition for a master’s degree just wasn’t in the budget. As it was, I worked two jobs through high school and continued with one through college. I struggled a bit, but I was pretty motivated.” I placed my glass on the coffee table and ran my hands through my hair. I decided on a quick ponytail. It was warm.

“So what’d you do after college? You said you’ve only been in Philly for three years, right?”

“That’s right.” I picked my glass back up and emptied it.
Diarrhea of the mouth ... shit.
“I actually loved my job. I worked with underprivileged and abused children at a crisis center. It was extremely heartening to see how simple it was to make a difference in someone else’s life. I know that might sound cliché, but seriously, these kids had nothing, no one to care for them, no food, barely a roof over their heads, and yet it was effortless to make them smile. I really miss them sometimes.” My voice cracked.