Between Land and Sea (17 page)

Chapter 32

Barbara enjoyed the rest of her winter holiday. She advanced quickly from snowshoeing to cross-country skiing and even spent part of one afternoon on a snowboard. Graham urged her to take advantage of the sales and buy her own sports equipment, but Barbara decided to continue renting.
Keep it simple and don’t accumulate too much stuff
. Barbara shivered whenever these intrusive thoughts invaded her mind. And lately, they were attacking more often.

She returned to work, refreshed and re-energized. To be truthful, she was glad to get back into a regular routine. The last two days of her vacation had dragged. She wasn’t cut out for a life of leisure. She craved and needed structure in her life.

Janice held a short staff meeting and let everyone know that Carolyn and Sarah would be returning in early February. Barbara could feel herself tensing, but managed to keep smiling throughout the meeting. She avoided the glances of the other women, and afterward welcomed the steady flow of clients. She kept to herself and ate quickly at her desk while updating her files. She didn’t want to get into any conversations about her employment situation.

The afternoon proved to be just as busy as the morning. Barbara kept her nose to the grindstone and was unaware of the flurry of activity in the office until a loud, booming voice shouted in her ear. “So, you are the famous Barbara Davies who captured the heart of Stewart Tobin. Now that I’ve met you, I can see what all the fuss is about. Josh Levine at your service, ma’am.”

The color drained from her face as she looked up into the broad, smiling face of a tall, well-dressed man who held a bouquet of red roses in his left hand. While she did not know exactly who was in the room, she mentally calculated that at least twenty people had heard Josh Levine speak of her relationship with Stewart. She remained frozen and speechless. Out of the corner of one eye, she saw Janice standing near the reception area.

The man continued, oblivious to Barbara’s discomfort. “I came here a couple of days before Christmas, but the place was deserted. I guess you folks like to shut down early and take an extended break. Can’t afford to do that in my business.” He held out his right hand. “Dear lady, if you will allow me to accompany you outside, I will present you with your belated Christmas gift. But first, accept these flowers on my behalf. I apologize for the late delivery and any inconvenience this may have caused you.” He laid the flowers on her desk and offered his arm to Barbara.

Barbara wanted to run far away from this situation, but she knew that was impossible. Josh Levine had been given specific orders by Stewart, and he had no intention of leaving until he had accomplished his assigned task.

Barbara spoke for the first time. “Thank you for the lovely flowers, Mr. Levine. I’ll grab my coat and follow you outside.” She looked toward Janice for support, but the older woman stood quietly. Barbara couldn’t read the expression on her face. Barbara heard a few murmurs and avoided looking at Lois or any of the other counselors.

Barbara took her coat out of the closet. Josh immediately took charge and held it for her. She followed him outside and gasped at the sight of the two BMWs parked illegally in front of the office. Josh held her firmly and chuckled. “Relax, Barbara. This is a good thing.”

Two older couples admired the cars as another unfamiliar gentleman, likely another car salesman, pointed out the different features of the two cars.

Josh led Barbara toward the black BMW and handed her a set of keys. “Season’s greetings from Stewart Tobin and BMW of Mississauga.” He added, “Stewart suggested I give you a few pointers on how to drive this baby. I’ll drive it first and then let you try. I’ve already cleared it with your boss. You have the rest of the afternoon off.”

So that explained Janice’s unreadable look, thought Barbara. Josh must have told her the entire story. Barbara grew more alarmed as she noticed a small crowd gathering in front of the cars. The other salesman was gesturing and pointing to her. By the end of the day, everyone in Carden would know about her and Stewart.

And that included Graham.

Barbara looked down the street toward The Art Shoppe. She had missed the opportunity, many opportunities, to tell Graham about Stewart. It was too late to do anything else now.

Her eyes filled with tears and her lips trembled.

Josh put his arm around her shoulders. “Hey there, little lady. You’ll learn how to handle this beauty in no time. It’ll practically drive itself.”

Barbara looked up at his concerned face. Josh was about her age, maybe a few years older. He thought she was overwhelmed by the vehicle, and to be truthful she was. After she had returned from Chicago, she had researched BMWs and even cut out a few pictures from the newspaper. She knew all about the black M5 sports sedan that sat in front of her, every detail from its luxurious interior to its ability to reach a top speed of one hundred and ninety miles per hour. And its price, well over sixty thousand dollars.

She caught the tail end of Josh’s instructions. “Don’t worry about insurance and ownership and all that other stuff. Stewart and I have taken care of everything.” He winked. “All you have to do is learn how to drive it, practice, and then you’ll be ready to take on Chicago. I take it that’s the plan.”

Stewart’s plan
.
How dare he assume I’ll just accept this car and drive right back into his life? I should just refuse it now. Tell Josh there’s been some kind of misunderstanding.

Even if you refuse the car, the damage has been done
.
Everyone knows about Stewart.
That inner voice was becoming louder and more difficult to ignore. Barbara helplessly held out her hand. “Thank you, Josh, for taking the time to teach me. If you don’t mind, I’d like to get into the driver’s seat as soon as possible. You can sit in the passenger seat and give me any pointers.”

Josh nodded in approval. “That’s the spirit.” He handed her the keys and held the door open. Barbara got behind the wheel and started the car. Instinctively, she knew what to do. They spent the next hour driving around the streets of Carden as Josh pointed out the car’s various features. He gave her pointers on how to deal with frigid temperatures and icy, wet roads. Barbara drove out all thoughts of Graham, Stewart, Janice, Lois, and everyone else. She was surprised to find herself totally immersed in the car. It was her new friend, perhaps the only friend she had left in Carden.

It was dark when she arrived at her apartment. She parked in her designated spot, the place that only Graham’s car had ever occupied. Graham. She really should call him and explain. But what could she explain now? She entered the apartment and sank into the comfortable sofa. She knew what she must do first.

She took out her address book and dialed Stewart’s work number. It was an hour earlier in Chicago and he was probably still there, waiting for her call.

He did not disappoint. “Hello, Barbara. I’ve just spoken with Josh. He told me what a good student you were. He thinks you can start driving on the major highways in a month or so. Don’t wait too long. Remember, I’m expecting you in June.”

“Stewart, I’m not impressed by this behaviour. I’ve accepted the car because it made little sense to create a scene with half of Carden looking on.” She continued in a clipped tone, “I’m not happy with how you manipulated Josh and the entire situation. I made it very clear to you that I wanted time and space. You agreed to that a few weeks ago.”

“I agreed to stop sending you flowers. I don’t see the harm in giving you a Christmas gift. I’m sure Graham gave you a lovely gift. Why should I be deprived of that privilege?”

“Graham gave me an appropriate gift. You did not.” She took a deep breath. “I have every intention of paying you for the car. Once my book starts selling.”

“Barbara, please stop. I don’t want your money. I’m sorry to hear you that you’re so upset.” He sighed. “It was not my intention to upset you. Calm down and give Gillian a call.” He hung up softly.

Was Gillian involved in this surprise? An angry flush crept up her neck. She couldn’t handle all this subterfuge, all this manipulation. She poured herself a glass of red wine and gulped down half its contents. She took a few deep breaths and called Gillian.

“Hello, Barbara. I was hoping you’d call.”

“So, you’re in on it as well,” Barbara spoke sharply.

“What are you talking about?” Gillian asked.

Barbara gave her a brief rundown of the day’s events and waited for the younger woman to respond.

“He’s really gone overboard this time.” She laughed uncomfortably. “I hope you don’t think I had anything to do with this.”

“Stewart suggested I call you. Why would he do that if you weren’t somehow involved?”

“Listen to me carefully, Barbara. Men like Stewart Tobin move in a different stratosphere. If you had spent more time with Andrew, you would know what I’m talking about. I suspect that Stewart is aware of your limited experience with men, other than your marriage to the philandering professor. He probably thought I could give you a few pointers on how to deal with rich and powerful men. How is Graham taking all of this?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t spoken with him yet.”

“Hmm. You called Stewart first and then me. What does that say about your relationship with Graham?”

Barbara didn’t know how to respond, but she knew what she had to do next.

Chapter 33

Barbara dialed Graham’s number and waited for him to answer. Her throat felt dry, and involuntary tears sprung to her eyes as she heard Graham’s voice on the answering machine. Should she leave a message? What kind of message could she possibly leave? No, she would try his number later. Although she could easily walk over to his house, she hesitated to do so. It was still early in the evening, and it was very likely she would run into someone who knew her or at least knew of her. As for taking the car, that would add insult to injury. She couldn’t and wouldn’t flaunt Stewart’s gift in Graham’s face.

She welcomed the temporary reprieve and busied herself with preparing dinner. She tried out a new tilapia recipe, steamed some asparagus, and made a salad. While she didn’t usually have a starch or dessert with dinner, she found herself craving something more substantial. She cut a generous piece of the amaretto cheesecake sitting in the fridge. Graham’s favorite.

After dinner, she tried Graham’s number and got the machine again. He must still be at the shop. She tried that number and got the machine as well. She considered where he might be. Suddenly she remembered. He was making a few late deliveries and would drop by later in the evening.

She looked at the clock. It was only seven-thirty. The whole evening loomed ahead and Barbara could do nothing else but obsess about the day’s events. She didn’t want to watch television or read any of the books sitting on her nightstand. She poured herself another glass of wine. She rested while savoring the taste of the Pinot Grigio Graham had given her. Two glasses was her usual limit, but tonight she’d make an exception.

The loud banging on the door woke her up. It was dark and cold and Barbara’s back ached. She had fallen asleep on the couch. She looked at her watch and realized it was past nine. She got up and staggered toward the door.

“Barbara,open up. I know you’re in there.”

Graham was here. Slowly she made her way toward the door and opened it. She looked up into a pair of very angry, dark eyes, and his lips tightened as he took in her appearance. He made his way into the living room and picked up the half-empty wine bottle. He shook his head. “So, you’ve had a few as well.”

Hot tears burned her eyes. This was a disaster. She had planned to sit and calmly tell him about Stewart. It didn’t look like this conversation would be a pleasant one.

He continued to scrutinize her. “You’ll have to speak sooner or later. But in your case, later seems to be the operative word.” His voice became icy. “When were you planning to tell me about Stewart Tobin? Or were you just going to ride into the sunset and leave me behind in the dust? You’ve got the wheels now, fancy BMW wheels from what I saw outside.”

She gestured toward the sofa. Her voice was strangely calm. “Let’s sit down and talk about this.”

“I prefer to stand. I suggest you sit down before you topple over.” He looked at her in disgust.

She took his advice and sat down. She longed for a cup of coffee, but didn’t trust herself to make it and had no intention of asking Graham to make it for her. She sighed and realized those solicitous days were over.

“More sighing. Now I know what that’s all about. You’ve been mooning over Stewart ever since you got back from Chicago. I was a fool not to see it.”

“No, you weren’t. I’m the one at fault here. I know I should have spoken sooner, but I didn’t know how to tell you. He wined and dined me, courted me like I had never been courted before. I have to admit I was charmed by him. And I lost my head.” She looked at Graham through tears. “I came back to you.”

“But were you planning to stay with me?”

How could she tell him about her plans to leave Carden? He would never understand. And she certainly couldn’t tell him about her mermaid origins. Not now. Not ever.

He shook his head. “Just as I thought. You were biding your time here, until Stewart was ready to take you in.”

“That’s not true. He would have taken me in last month. I didn’t want to stay.” She took a deep breath and looked directly at Graham. “To be truthful, I didn’t know how any of this would play out. I had feelings for both of you. I wanted time, time to think it through.”

“Well, it has played out, and I think Stewart is the puppet master here. But I won’t be one of his puppets or yours either. We’re through, Barbara.” He stormed out the door.

Barbara heard Bob’s voice in the hall and closed her eyes. Just what she needed, another witness to her humiliation.

“Ma’am, are you all right?”

Barbara looked up into Bob’s concerned eyes. Beside him, Rita stood quietly, watching Barbara.

Barbara managed a smile. “I’m fine, Bob. We just had a disagreement, that’s all.”

He nodded and left, closing the door behind him.

Barbara caught fragments of Rita’s conversation. “. . . knew there’d be trouble . . . comings and goings . . . BMW.”

The phone rang. Barbara looked at the call display and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Janice’s name. She picked up the phone and heard Janice’s concerned hello. Thank goodness there was at least one person in her corner.

“I tried to call earlier but the line was busy. How are you doing, Barbara?”

“I’ve been better, Janice.” The tears flowed freely and she cried quietly. “Graham just left. He broke it off with me.”

“I was afraid he might do that,” said Janice. “After you left, the others immediately Googled Stewart Tobin. And they probably emailed a few friends. I tried to control the gossip during office hours, but I couldn’t do much afterward.”

“Thank you, Janice. I appreciate all you’ve done for me. About coming in tomorrow, I don’t think—”

“That’s one of the reasons I’m calling tonight.” Janice paused. “I think it would be a good idea if you stayed home for the rest of the week. Wait until this gossip dies down.”

“Do you honestly think it’ll die down by then?”

“I don’t know, Barbara. But you may be in better shape.”

“I think it might be best if I don’t come back at all, Janice. I hate to leave you in a lurch.”

There was a long wait at the other end. Janice finally spoke. “Don’t worry about me or the office. I can call in one of the retired guidance counselors to help. They like to do that, as long as it’s not during the golf season.” She spoke genuinely. “I hate to see you go, Barbara.”

The tears continued as she listened to Janice, but her brain did not register a single word. The two women said their goodbyes and Barbara sank into the couch. She caught sight of the wine bottle and, in a fit of anger, pushed everything off the table. She watched as the red wine stained the pale grey carpet. She knew she should get up and take care of the stain, but her legs would not move.

“Barbara, is everything all right?” The high-pitched voice sounded frightened.

Barbara opened her eyes. She had forgotten about the tablet lying on the coffee table. It was extremely sensitive and easily activated. She considered ignoring Lisa738, but the voice persisted, “Barbara? Barbara, are you there?”

Sighing, Barbara picked up the tablet.

Lisa738 gasped. “Barbara, you look terrible. What has happened?”

Barbara found herself weeping and telling Lisa738 all about the book, Stewart, Gillian, and today’s events. She took a deep breath and sank back into the couch.

“Oh, Barbara. I’m sorry to hear all of this. I wish you had confided in me sooner. I wish I had asked more questions about your life. I wish . . .” Lisa738’s voice was shaking and Barbara was surprised to see empathetic tears in the mermaid’s eyes.

“Lisa738, do not distress yourself over any of this. You are not to blame. This is all my doing.” To her ears, her voice sounded strangely calm.

Lisa738 swallowed and regained her composure. “You have the car and your book. Real money and potential money.”

Trust the Numbers mermaid to focus on the bottom line. Barbara said lightly, “You’re right. In spite of everything, I’m further ahead financially than I was three months ago.”

Lisa738’s head was bent over another tablet. She was swiftly entering data of some kind. She finally looked up with a triumphant look on her face. “Your net worth is roughly seventy-nine thousand dollars. You’re in a good place right now. You could easily sit in that apartment and do nothing for a few months. Now, if you decide to sell the car.”

“The ownership is in Stewart’s name. He’s also paid the insurance for the rest of the year. I plan to use the car for the next six months, drive to Chicago, and return it to him as soon as my book comes out.”

Lisa738 nodded in approval. “You’ve got a plan.” Her eyes misted. “But what will you do in the meantime? Gillian is far away, and it sounds like all of your Carden friends have abandoned you. I can’t even imagine it. A Bella without friends.” She burst into tears.

This Numbers mermaid genuinely cared about her. Why had she not seen it before? She could not bear to see her cry. “Lisa738, please stop crying. You’re not helping me.”

Lisa738 shrugged helplessly and faded away into the screen.

“Wake up, Isabella. Wake up.”

Barbara woke up to the sounds of waves crashing on the shore. She was surrounded by large, dark rocks and a murky, ominous sky. The locale looked strangely familiar as she tried to find her bearings. She shivered and looked down at the warm coat of animal skins that had been wrapped around her. She gasped and tried to take off the coat. Who had dared to wrap her in this?

She heard the familiar laughter and turned to see her grandmother, Annabella, watching her. “You are on the shores of your beloved Malta. Have you already forgotten those long nights you spent here with Andrew, the love of your life? It’s only been a few months.” The mocking voice continued. “And if I were you, I wouldn’t try to get out of that coat. That human body of yours will freeze. It’s cold here.”

Annabella floated above one of the larger rocks. She had positioned herself so that she could look down on her granddaughter.

“Am I to be banished here now? Is that your new plan for me?”

“I don’t have any new plans for you, Isabella. I just wanted to give you a change of scenery. Lisa738 thinks you should get away from Carden.” Annabella shook her head. “You’ve really upset that poor Numbers mermaid. I’ve suspended her from her duties. She needs to learn how to control those emotions of hers.”

“Why are you punishing her? She’s not to blame for any of this. I’m the one who chose to sugar coat everything and keep her out of the loop.” She spoke more forcefully. “I insist that you reinstate Lisa738. Do not demote her. Do not assign me another Numbers mermaid.” She looked directly at her grandmother.

Annabella looked away first. “So, there is some strength of character left.” She nodded. “I will reinstate Lisa738 in a couple of days. I suggest you contact her at that time and start rebuilding your life with her help.”

Barbara looked down at her hands. Her anger had turned into shame. She thought of all her mistakes, beginning with the trip to Chicago.

“There’s no point crying over spilled milk.” Annabella smiled. “I’ve always wanted to use that overworked human expression. This situation certainly calls for it.” She looked at Barbara curiously and asked, “Will you go to Chicago now?”

Barbara looked up in surprise. “I have absolutely no intention of going to Chicago until the summer.”

“I see. You want to play with Stewart’s emotions. Let him want you even more.”

“No, that’s not the plan at all. I don’t know if I want him anymore.” Barbara was surprised to hear herself speak those words.

“I don’t understand you, Isabella. A second man has dumped you and now you’re planning to throw away your chances with the only man you have left. If you’re not careful, you will end up alone and poor.”

Barbara shook her head. “Those are not my only options. I still have my book.”

“Which is being published by one of Stewart Tobin’s friends. Melanie could easily change her mind.”

“No, she can’t. We’ve all signed contracts. If Melanie James tries anything, I’ll get my lawyer involved. That book will be published and it will be a success.” Barbara laughed out loud as she listened to her echo.

Annabella smiled as well. “I believe in you and so does this human universe.” She continued in a gentler tone. “I still care about you, Isabella. Regardless of what you may believe, I want to see you succeed here on earth.”

Barbara continued to fidget as the fur scratched the back of her neck. When she looked up, Annabella had vanished.