Elijah released Ruben as he took a step back, running his hand through his hair. What did he want? He gave the only answer that came to mind, the one true thing he really needed. “Time.” Ruben turned around, facing him as he cocked his head, studying Elijah with an intensity that made Elijah feel as though Ruben could see right into his soul. “I guess I can give you that.” Elijah wasn’t sure if Ruben knew what he truly meant, but he’d take that for now. His old fears were riding him hard. The nightmare he had lived through when his lover was beaten to death for being gay was at the surface. He wouldn’t survive if that happened to Ruben.
“Thank you.”
Ruben stood, pushing away from the car as he took a step toward Elijah. “But you better not push me away again.” Elijah got the meaning. This was his one shot at Ruben Blaecleah.
Ruben was giving himself to Elijah. Now it was up to him to decide if he was man enough to step up to the plate and take the offering. Elijah nodded as he walked around to the passenger side. “We need to get to the ranch.”
Ruben’s eyes widened, and then he pulled the driver’s door open, hurrying inside. Elijah barely got into the passenger side before Ruben tore away from the snowy shoulder, heading for home.
* * * *
Ruben’s jaw dropped when he drove up in front of the house. Ma stood on the porch with Alani in her arms. She was pacing back and forth, and she did not look happy. Below her, standing in the middle of the steps, was a wall of Blaecleah brothers.
Da was positioned at the bottom of the steps, his arms crossed over his chest and his legs slightly parted as if daring anyone to pass him. They were creating a barrier between Alani and the one woman Ruben hoped never to see again in his lifetime.
He ground his teeth when he pulled to a stop and turned the engine off. Janice McCallister stood in front of Da arguing with him.
His temper shot up inside of him as he slammed the car door, making everyone turn to look at him.
“What do you want?”
His biological mother, Janice McCallister, glared at him, her lips thinning as she raked a disapproving look over Ruben. Her eyes cut to Elijah. She turned a deep shade of red as she shook a finger at Ruben.
“That is no way to talk to your mother.” For a heartbeat, Ruben felt regret. He pushed it aside when he remembered the way his mother had been when he was growing up.
“My
mother
is standing on the porch with my daughter.” He nodded toward Ma. “Now, what do you want, Janice?” His birth mother’s head snapped back as if Ruben had struck her.
Her eyes narrowed. The look didn’t have the desired effect Ruben knew she had hoped it would. The woman didn’t intimidate him anymore. Ruben no longer had an innate feeling to make sure peace reigned.
“I want to see my granddaughter,” she said with a curtness to her voice that pissed Ruben off.
Ruben crossed his arms over his chest as he walked closer to the front porch and stood next to Da. “She’s not your granddaughter. You gave up that right when you and the good reverend kicked Matty out.
I don’t want my daughter growing up around such prejudice.”
“I have every right to see her,” his mother sniffed.
“I’m sorry, but you don’t,” Elijah said as he walked over to stand next to Ruben and Da. “You have no legal right to her whatsoever.” His mother looked down her nose at Elijah, a haughty look crossing her pinched face. “This is none of your business. This is between me and my son.”
Elijah reached inside his coat, pulling out a business card, holding it out at Ruben’s mother. “My name is Elijah James. I’m Ruben’s attorney. I’m certified and passed the bar with a very high recommendation from Superior Court Judge Thomas. If you have any doubts about who I am, you’re welcome to give Judge Thomas a call.”
Ruben watched as his mother’s eyes lowered to narrow little slits.
“I know all about my
sons
. They are an abomination to the lord. I will not have my granddaughter raised with so much depravity. I will be getting in contact with a lawyer as well.”
“I think you need to leave,” Ma said. Ruben wanted to laugh and cheer Ma on, but he knew that wouldn’t go over well right now.
“I’ll leave, for now. But I will be back. Have no doubt about that!” Janice waggled a finger at Ruben. “She will not be raised by a blasphemous father!”
Ruben clenched his jaw as he took a step toward the woman who he no longer considered his mother but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He knew it was Elijah, but Ruben was really tired of his parents and their holier-than-thou attitude. He was sick of it up to his ears.
“Let it go. She doesn’t have a leg to stand on,” Elijah said from beside him. Ruben glared at the woman leaving until she drove away, disappearing down the driveway. He took a deep breath as he turned around and headed toward the house, climbing the steps to give Ma a huge hug.
“Thank you,” he said as she patted his back.
“No one will get to this sweet little baby as long as I have a breath left in my body,” Ma said as she opened the door, ushering Ruben and Elijah inside.
As soon as Ruben and Ma stepped inside, he turned and took Alani from her, cuddling the baby close to his chest. He closed his eyes and leaned his head down, inhaling the comforting scent that was unique to babies. He could feel himself visibly shaking and knew his nerves were frayed. They always were after dealing with his biological mother.
“She’s beautiful, Ru.”
Ruben opened his eyes and saw Elijah staring at Alani with a look of wonder on his face. There was something else in Elijah’s blue eyes, but it was guarded as if Elijah didn’t want Ruben to see it. And Ruben couldn’t quite decipher what it was.
“Would you like to hold her?” Ruben asked as he tilted Alani back in his arms and held her out.
“No!” Elijah’s face paled and he quickly shook his head, but Ruben could see the want in his eyes. “Ruben, I’ll drop her.”
Ignoring Elijah’s protests, he gently laid Alani in his arms and showed him how to support her small head. “No, you won’t.” Ruben grinned as he watched his lover hold his daughter. It was a sight he never thought to see, no matter how many times he fantasized about it. He leaned over and gave Elijah a quick peck on the cheek. “I trust you, Eli,” he whispered into the man’s ear.
“Jes—Ruben.”
Ruben leaned back and smiled at Elijah. He patted his arm and turned away.
“Where are you going?” Elijah cried out. “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Eli. I just want to have a word with Ma and Da about what happened before we arrived. I need to find out why Janice is here.” Ruben ground his teeth together. “And I need to find out how she even knew about Alani because I know I didn’t tell her.”
Matty stood by Quaid, looking very pale and just a bit nauseous.
“I didn’t say anything to her. I haven’t talked to her since we left home.” Matty shrugged his shoulders and glanced away. “I tried after Father died, but she wouldn’t accept my calls.”
“Matty,” Ruben said as he stepped forward and drew his brother into his arms. “You know Mother has always been under Father’s thumb. If the man told her to stop breathing, she would have turned blue. She probably doesn’t know what to do now that he is dead.” Matty shuddered in Ruben’s arms. “I’ve never seen her like this, Ruben. She was livid.”
“I know.” Ruben could understand his brother’s confusion perfectly. Janice McCallister was not known as a woman with a strong backbone. She lived for her husband. Ruben thought she would have been lost without the reverend, but maybe he was wrong. “We’ll figure this out, Matty.”
“You have the full support of this family, Ruben,” Da said.
“Whatever you need.”
“Thank you, Da.” Ruben drew in a deep breath and pushed Matty back into Quaid’s waiting arms then turned back to Elijah. “Does she have any standing, Elijah?”
Elijah’s head came up from where he was looking down at the baby. “You were legally adopted by the Blaecleahs, Ruben. I filed the paperwork myself. They are now listed as your legal parents on your birth certificate. She might be able to make a stink, but she only has the rights you allow her.”
“I don’t want to allow her anything,” Ruben said vehemently.
“After what she did to me and Matty, I don’t want her anywhere near Alani.”
Elijah’s eyes narrowed. “What exactly did she do to you and Matty?”
“She allowed the reverend to abuse us,” Ruben snapped. He started pacing and pushing his hand through his hair as memories consumed him. “She knew it was happening, and she just looked the other way. She never once tried to stop Father.”
“Ruben.”
He suddenly felt arms wrap around him. He blinked in surprise when he realized that those strong arms belonged to Elijah. Ma was standing just off to the side with the baby in her arms.
“I won’t let her get Alani,” Elijah said quietly. “I promise.” Ruben’s jaw dropped when Elijah reached up and brushed his cheek with the back of his hand. He quickly glanced around, flushing when he saw the knowing looks in the eyes of those staring back at him and Elijah.
“Uh, Elijah…” Ruben cleared his throat and forced himself to step back from the man. He wanted to stay right where he was. Hell, he wanted to bury his face in Elijah’s throat and stay wrapped in his arms for as long as he could.
But Elijah wasn’t ready. He had asked for time, and Ruben had promised to give him that time. Throwing himself into Elijah’s arms in front of nearly the entire Blaecleah family was not the way to do that.
Ruben felt a little flushed and cold at the same time as he put several steps between him and the temping man. “Is there anything we can do to fight her because we’ll need to, I can tell you that right now. I can feel it. She’s not going to give up until she rips Alani from my arms.”
Elijah growled and crossed the space between them. He grabbed Ruben’s arms and gave him a little shake. “I told you, I won’t let her take Alani away from us.”
Ruben blinked. “Us?”
Elijah swallowed hard. He could see Ruben staring at him with a combination of hope and hesitancy. The Blaecleahs knew he was gay, but they also knew he didn’t advertise it. He could just step back and they wouldn’t say a thing.
Or he could take away the uncertainty burning in Ruben’s eyes. A part of Elijah screamed at him to take away any lingering doubt Ruben had, to give him the reassurances he needed. Another part screamed at Elijah that he was exposing himself to a losing battle. If he lost Ruben, Elijah wasn’t sure he’d survive it.
He couldn’t stand the growing chasm he could feel building between them at his refusal to accept everything Ruben was offering him. He had been feeling it since they left his house. It was mingled with his own fears of losing Ruben.
But did he even have it in him to step forward and take what he really wanted? Could he chance it? And what would happen if he didn’t? Ruben’s posture was so rigid, Elijah was surprised the man didn’t crack in two. Elijah knew if he didn’t do something, he was going to lose Ruben before he even had him.
“Ruben, I—” Elijah’s heart ached when Ruben’s face fell and his eyes dropped away. “I can’t promise to dance down the middle of Main Street waving a rainbow-colored flag, but I told you that I would try and I meant it.”
Ruben still looked reserved, but he nodded. Elijah took a tentative step forward and reached for Ruben’s hand. The surprise on Ruben’s face followed by a swift flush covering his cheeks was well worth any discomfort Elijah felt at being out in front of the man’s family. He leaned over and planted a small kiss on Ruben’s temple.
“I will try, Ru,” he whispered. “I promise.” That seemed to satisfy Ruben if the smile that crossed his lips was anything to go by. Elijah was still nervous as hell and he had no clue where any of this was going, but if he could put that joy-filled smile on Ruben’s face every day, he’d be a happy man.
“Well, who’s hungry,” Ma said, breaking the tension in the room.
“It’s a little early for lunch, but I hear brunch is just as good.” Elijah blinked when he once again found himself with a baby in his arms, Ruben rushing after Ma to help in the kitchen. He stared down at the delicate-looking child, afraid to move. He just knew he’d drop her and Ruben would hate him forever.
“Huh, guys,” he called out to anyone that would listen to him, “a little help here?”
Da chuckled and patted him on the back. “You’re doing just fine, son.”
“No, seriously.” Elijah started to panic as everyone walked away from him and into the dining room. “I can’t do this. I’ll drop her or something.”
“Yeah.” Quaid chuckled. “I wouldn’t advise that. Kids dropped on their heads tend to scream a lot.”
“So take her,” Elijah pleaded.
“Nuh-huh.” Quaid laughed as he walked away, joining the others in the dining room and leaving Elijah all alone in the living room with Alani.
Just as Elijah started to go into full panic mode, Alani opened her eyes. The deep hazel eyes staring up at him with such complete trust stole Elijah’s heart just as quickly as her father had—with one single blink.
“Hey, little one,” Elijah whispered softly as he smiled down at the baby girl. “My name is Elijah. I’m a friend of your daddy’s.”
Alani just continued to stare up at him, her eyes blinking every few seconds as if she was trying to decide if she liked Elijah holding her or not. Elijah was dumbfounded as to what to do with her. What did he know about babies?
“So, yeah, this whole baby thing? I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing, so you’ll have to be patient with me. I promise not to drop you if I can help it, but you have to promise me not to scream. Deal?” Elijah’s mouth dropped open as a small smile crossed Alani’s lips, one that was totally identical to Ruben’s, minus the teeth. Elijah’s heart clenched as a soft cooing sound came from the small baby. He knew he was lost.
“Oh damn, you just had to go and smile at me, didn’t you?” Elijah lifted the baby a little higher in his arms and started slowly pacing around the room as he talked to her. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all?
He reached down to rub his knuckle over one chubby cheek then chuckled softly when Alani grabbed his finger with her little hand and pulled it to her mouth, sucking on it almost immediately.