“Then you must be a natural at it. Just keep working on that project.” He hoped she’d hurry. His cock was not happy trapped inside his pants.
Once he had her red sweater unbuttoned, he was overjoyed to discover her bra had a front clasp, almost as if she’d known he’d undress her tonight.
Good guess
, he thought as he flipped open the catch of the bra. The earlier he started showing up in the evenings, the less likely he’d find her running around in a nightgown or a towel.
This sort of clothing challenge worked for him, though. Thrusting aside her bra, he fondled her breasts and felt his dick jerk in response. She’d managed to unzip his pants but his knit boxers were holding up progress. Ah, but a man appreciated something more if he had to work a little harder to get it, and Jasper appreciated the hell out of massaging her warm skin and gently pinching her nipples until they were rock hard.
Then she coaxed his bad boy out of his briefs, rolled on the condom, and it was showtime. Hiking up her skirt he moved between her thighs, and her booted feet nudged his bare butt. Kinky. The feel of leather against his skin inspired him.
He’d never ripped up a woman’s clothing until the night he’d torn her nightgown down the middle, but that had turned out well. Might as well reach up under her skirt and rip the crotch out of her panties.
He happened to be kissing her at the time, and whether on purpose or by accident, when he ripped her panties, she bit him. Breathing hard, he lifted his head and gazed into eyes burning with a blue flame. “Did you mean to do that?” he murmured, tasting a drop of blood on his lower lip.
“Did you mean to rip my panties?”
“Yes.”
“Then I meant to bite you.” Her voice was low and urgent, rich with barely restrained lust. “Bring it, Danes. Bring it right now.”
“Oh yeah.” Sliding her to the very edge of the counter, he lifted her hips slightly, found her sweet spot, and drove home. “Happy now?”
“Marginally.” Wrapping her legs around his waist, she locked him in tight as she looked into his eyes. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me or this?” Damn, where had that come from? Wasn’t he the one who wanted to keep this strictly sexual? “Silly question.” He began pumping slowly.
“It is a silly question.” Her fingers dug into his shoulders.
He reached between her thighs and pressed his thumb against her clit as he continued to thrust. “Forget I asked.”
“You keep that up and I’ll forget my own name.”
“So we’ll go for mindless sex.” He felt her clench her muscles. She was close.
“Sure.” She began to pant. “Mindless sex it is.”
He moved faster, watching her eyes. His vocal cords thickened as his climax neared. “Not enough mindless sex in this world.”
“Right.” Her breasts quivered with every jolt of his body against hers. “Good. Very . . . oh, please . . . Jasper . . .”
“That’s it. Let go.” He moved his thumb in a rapid circle, wanting her to come soon, because the longer he looked into her eyes, the more he craved release. With her. With Anica.
“Yes . . . ah . . .
yes!
” The spasms hit and her eyes darkened with pleasure, but she didn’t close them, didn’t look away.
What a gift, to witness the powerful emotions he stirred in her. In a rare moment of openness, she’d let him see all the way down to her soul. The rush of that was all it took to send him over the edge with a growl of animal satisfaction wrenched from deep in his gut. He didn’t look away, either. He wanted her to see the effect this surging, desperately sought climax had on him. He wanted her to see inside his soul, too.
Mindless sex. Yeah, sure. He’d never been so mindful of another human being in his entire life.
Chapter 20
Anica knew what words usually followed the kind of emotion-packed sex they’d just had. She couldn’t speak for Jasper, but she wasn’t ready to say those words, in spite of how he was looking at her, in spite of how she was no doubt looking at him. Given the intensity of their situation, she didn’t believe either of them could trust the urge to pledge undying love.
He needed her in order to survive, which had to be coloring everything he did. She needed him to recover her magic, something that became more urgent every day she was without it. Of course she’d feel she needed him. But once the crisis was over, what would bind them together?
The sex was great, no question. Yet even the sex had to be more intoxicating when they were involved in such high drama. When you knew that your lover would turn into a cat within the next four hours, you tended to make good use of your time. You tended to cherish every moment when he was human and capable of giving and having orgasms.
So she wouldn’t say the words that would come so naturally to her now. And she’d fix it so he wasn’t likely to blurt them out, either. First step, break eye contact. She glanced down at the counter supporting her. “That was fun. This counter is sturdier than I thought.”
“Um, yeah. Anica, I—”
She forced herself to smile as she deliberately lightened her tone. “Quite a multifunctional thing, this counter. I just hope you don’t have flashbacks of this at mealtime.”
“Ha. Very funny.”
Her heart broke watching his radiant expression fade. But one of them had to watch out that they didn’t head into an emotional ditch. This time she’d accepted that assignment. Someday he might look back on this moment and be grateful that she’d broken the mood before either of them said something they’d regret.
He eased away from her with a crooked smile. “That’s the thing about cats. We live in the moment.”
She gazed at him in shock, her eyes recording a smile that reached in without warning and captured her heart. His soft words finalized the takeover, and she was suddenly, irrevocably, his.
Dear Zeus, I do love him.
The knowledge punched her in the chest and she gasped softly. She loved him, and she’d ruined the moment when she could have told him so.
Maybe they wouldn’t make it once the problems were solved. So what? They could have shared words of love now, in the moment, and let the future take care of itself, which it always did, anyway.
How ironic that an impulse had landed her in this mess and an impulse might have made it all worthwhile, if only she’d had the courage to go with her first instinct. Now the chance was lost, possibly forever. She suspected that a man like Jasper didn’t open up very often, and once discouraged from sharing his tender thoughts, he might never try again.
When he left for the bathroom, she scooted down from the counter, determined not to cry as she fastened her bra and buttoned her sweater. She stepped out of her torn panties and threw them in the trash.
All the while, Jasper’s face haunted her. She could see the adoration in his golden eyes, the softness of his expression once his fierce climax had ebbed. He’d been a man in love, a man on the verge of declaring that love.
She, on the other hand, was a total idiot worried about making mistakes. That anal behavior had caused her to make a gigantic mistake, and now she would pay for it.
But she vowed that if she could be lucky enough to have a second chance to tell him how she felt, she’d grab it with both hands.
“Bathroom’s free,” he called from the living room. “I have some work to do on the computer.”
“That’s fine.” She wondered if they’d be like this for the rest of the time he was in human form tonight—casual friends respecting each other’s need for space. It was very catlike behavior on his part to back off and claim his own territory.
As she walked down the hall toward her bedroom, she thought again about what he’d said.
That’s the thing about cats. We live in the moment.
He hadn’t said
they live in the moment.
He’d said
we.
It made sense that after a while he’d begin to identify with his cat persona. She found that intriguing, one more thing to add to the list of reasons why she was fascinated with Jasper Danes. Too bad she’d deliberately driven a wedge between them, but she couldn’t repair that situation easily, if ever.
She spent way too much time trying to decide what to wear for the rest of the evening. Whatever she put on was either too dowdy or too obviously calculated to turn him on.
In some ways she envied him having only one outfit. He didn’t have to worry about what kind of signals he was sending. He had two settings—dressed and undressed. She had at least twenty possible variations, from Victoria’s Secret to L.L. Bean and everything in between.
Finally she chose a purple knit lounge outfit that was soft enough to sleep in. Once that was decided, she had to deal with the underwear issue. To wear or not to wear, that was the question.
She settled on a definite
yes
for panties. If she spent much time walking around the apartment without any on, she’d work herself into a frenzy of lust. A woman couldn’t be expected to go without panties when a sexy man was on the premises and not want to jump him. But she could skip the bra, couldn’t she?
And yet the top half of her sweat suit was a zip-front jacket. Spending four hours knowing she was one zip away from flashing her tits at him would probably send her into hormonal overdrive in the same way a lack of panties would. She found a white tank top in her drawer and put that on under the jacket. Then she left the jacket unzipped, because after all, she didn’t want to seem uptight.
By the time she left her bedroom she was doing a mental eye roll. Life wasn’t supposed to be this complicated, and it wouldn’t be if she hadn’t stopped him from speaking what was in his heart. At this point they could have been relaxed and open with each other. Instead he’d probably stuffed his feelings down as far as they would go.
He sat at the computer with a cup of espresso on his right and the open bag of brownies on his left. Then she remembered what else she’d purchased on the way home and dropped into the brownie bag. The box of condoms rested on top of the terminal.
Now, that was funny. She couldn’t help smiling as she watched him typing away with a box of condoms balanced front and center at the top of the screen. The box hadn’t been carelessly tossed there. It had been placed there with precision. At least he hadn’t given up the idea of having sex with her. That was something.
“I see you found my other contribution,” she said.
“Uh-huh.” He kept typing. “Didn’t want to lose track of them, either.”
“I see that.”
He clicked the SEND button for his current e-mail, reached for the box and turned toward her. “I appreciate your buying these.” His gaze traveled over her outfit. “Nice.”
“Thanks.” Oh yeah, she was hooked on him. One warm look, one word of praise and she was tingling with pleasure.
“These should probably go in that drawer where you keep them.” He tossed her the condom box.
She caught it one-handed. “You don’t want to leave them up there as a carrot?”
His golden gaze held hers. “You’re the carrot.”
“Oh.” Heat sizzled in her veins. “Then I’ll just go put these where we’ll know to find them later.”
“Or sooner. I’m about done here.”
“Weren’t you going to read through some of my magic books?”
He glanced over his shoulder. “I like to read in bed.”
“All righty, then.” Feeling positively juicy with anticipation, she hurried back to the bedroom, quickly opened the box and dumped the contents loose in the drawer. Might as well make the process simple.
She returned to the living room and walked over to the desk. “Checking on your work e-mails?”
“I probably should.” He kept typing. “But I can’t get excited about doing that.”
“Really?” She didn’t want to be nosy and read over his shoulder, so she picked up a brownie and walked back to the sofa. “I thought your job was very important to you.” She took a bite of the brownie.
“I thought so, too.” He clicked the SEND button again and pushed back the chair. “All done. Do you need the computer for anything?”
“No. You can turn it off.” She was still processing his comments about work. This was a guy who used to come into Wicked Brew charged up about the latest developments in the national and international economy. He’d have the
Wall Street Journal
tucked in his briefcase and check his BlackBerry for breaking market news while he was waiting for his coffee.
Standing, Jasper carried his coffee mug and the bag of brownies over to the coffee table. “I don’t mean to be all mysterious about what I was doing on the computer.” He set down the bag and mug and gazed at her.
“You don’t have to tell me. I respect your right to privacy.”
“You’re the person I should tell. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have sent those e-mails.”
For one nauseating moment she wondered if he was capable of having sex with her one minute and trashing her business reputation the next. No, she was being paranoid. His feelings had changed and she didn’t have to worry about that anymore. She hoped.
“Then maybe you should tell me.” The love she felt for him was new and untested, and she didn’t completely trust him not to destroy her.
“I e-mailed my last three girlfriends.”
She hadn’t expected that at all.
Three
. The way he said it made them all sound fairly recent, or at least recent enough that they’d have the same e-mail address. If Anica tried to contact her last three boyfriends, she’d be going back five years. Lily had called it—Jasper was a player.
Feeling a little out of her league, she gazed at him. “Why did you e-mail them?”
“To apologize for being a complete jerk. Just like you, they didn’t deserve to be lied to. It was time I told them so. Sheila and I’ve only been broken up three weeks, but Kate was a good six months ago, and Deb was—God—almost a year.”
So he didn’t have a history of long-term relationships. Good to know. But as for this recent move on his part, Anica couldn’t help be nervous. “Do you . . . want to go back to any of them?” She held her breath.