“Mom! Dad!” Timmy cried as he walked in the
door. “There’s something wrong with Boney!”
Timmy’s mom and dad rushed into the room and
looked at the dog. “He got hit by a car,” Timmy said. “He’s not
dead, is he?”
“No, of course not,” said Timmy’s dad, but
Timmy’s mom looked worried. “I will take him to the vet so he can
get better.” Timmy’s dad put the dog in the car and drove away.
They were gone for many hours. Timmy went to
bed, but he had a hard time sleeping without Boney by his side.
Finally, in the early morning, right before the sun came up, Timmy
heard his dad’s car in the driveway. He ran out to the kitchen.
Timmy’s dad came in the door. He said, “I
thought you might still be up.”
“How is Boney?” asked Timmy.
“Ask him yourself,” said his dad, and held open
the door.
Boney ran into the kitchen and gave Timmy a
sloppy wet dog kiss.
“Be careful with Boney, he’s fragile now. But
he’s going to be okay.”
Boney didn’t look so good. His fur was matted
and had blood in it, he was walking with a limp, and he smelled
funny. But Timmy didn’t care.
“Oh Boney, I’m so happy to have you back!”
****
Found At Sea
The sea
was calm when they went out that morning. Wallace was aboard his
neighbor’s fishing boat. The whole village sustained themselves on
the fishing trade, and his neighbors were kind enough to let him
work aboard their ship.
That afternoon, the skies quickly grew dark
before they had time to notice. Their small boat was swept out to
sea.
Many rescue missions had been sent out to find
the men, but they all came back empty handed. The families grieved
for their lost loved ones, convinced they had been taken by the
Great Mother Ocean.
Years passed, and Wallace’s only brother, Myron
grew up an only child, just him and his mother. She forbade him to
work on the boats and forced him to stay inland.
One day, all of his friends were at work fishing
while he stayed in the small family shop repairing nets. The day
seemed clear, much like it was many years ago, when a storm seemed
to roll in out of nowhere.
It was a short but fierce storm. Rescue teams
stood by, and as soon as it was safe, they went out in search of
missing boats and men. When they got back, the rescuers relayed
that they were able to save everyone except one boat. The boat had
been washed ashore on a small island, and they needed a team of
volunteers to sail out to get the men.
Myron volunteered immediately, but his mother
objected. “I’ve lost my husband and all my other sons to the sea. I
can’t lose you too.”
“Mother,” he said, “that is precisely why I need
to go. Think of the mothers and wives of the men stranded out
there.”
The ship sailed out, and with the guidance of
the men that had gone out before them, they found the small island.
As they dropped anchor and piled into rowboats to go ashore, a
sailor looked through his glass and said, “Wait! There are only
zombies on that island!”
“All the more reason our men need our help,”
said Myron, and continued to row to shore.
When he pulled his boat onto the beach, he was
greeted warmly by his friends who had been lost at sea. Yes, they
were zombies. It was the only way the natives of the island could
save them.
One zombie that Myron didn’t recognize, who
looked like he had been on the island a long time, pleaded with him
to take him back on his ship. Myron agreed, and the zombies climbed
aboard his rowboat.
When they arrived back in the town, the
villagers were so happy to see their loved ones that they didn’t
care if they were zombies. The zombie Myron didn’t recognize asked,
“May I come meet your mother?” Myron agreed.
As they walked out of the house, his mother ran
out crying about how happy she was that he came back safely. Then
she looked at the other zombie he had brought with him.
“Wallace?” she asked.
“Hello Mother,” he said, and they embraced each
other in a warm hug.
****
Zombie Mom
Life gets
tough in middle school. It’s a big, confusing transition period
between childhood and the teenage years. In addition, in the school
system that Tommy lived in, the many small elementary schools came
together into two large middle schools. This separated kids from
their old school friends and forced them to make new ones.
But for Tommy, what was worse than all of that
was when his mom picked him up from school. He went out of his way
to take the bus or get rides from friends just to avoid being seen
with his mom.
Tommy was embarrassed by his mom more than most
kids, because his mom was a zombie. She had a huge gash through her
forehead that extended from her right eyebrow all the way over into
the hairline on the left side of her head. It was long enough and
deep enough that sometimes her brains poked out. In addition, she
was missing her right eyeball. Usually she wore a patch over it,
but then the kids would make fun of him for having a pirate zombie
as a mom.
To make matters even worse, his mom was on the
PTA and would sometimes be a chaperone for field trips. She tried
hard to mask her appearance by wearing scarves and dark glasses,
but still he got comments from the other students about his mom
being sick or weird.
Finally, at his request, since he was getting
older, she stopped coming to his school. Of course, he never had
friends over. When he started dating, he never brought his
girlfriends home. When he graduated from high school, he didn’t go
to commencement because he knew his mom would come.
After high school, he was anxious to remove his
mom from his life. No matter how mean he was to her, it didn’t
dissuade her. Finally he gave in, and they reached an unspoken
agreement that she would only call and never come over.
When he got married, she wasn’t invited. He
wanted to just elope to eliminate all chance of his wife’s family
meeting his mom, but his fiancÈe wanted a church wedding. He kept
the whole thing secret from his mother, but during the entire
reception, he couldn’t enjoy himself. He kept glancing at the door,
worried that she would walk in.
When his first child was born, she showed up at
the door with her arms full of gifts, intending to help with the
new baby. He turned her away and didn’t even take the gifts.
She tried again with the second child. Before
she could come to the door, he scolded and cursed her for scaring
his oldest daughter, now a toddler. He vowed never to talk to her
again. He wouldn’t even answer the phone when she called.
Years passed, and one day he received a letter
in the mail from an attorney asking him to call. When he finally
got in touch with the lawyer, he told him, “I’m sorry to inform you
that your mother has passed away.”
“How did it happen?” Tom asked, overwhelmed with
curiosity more than any other emotion.
“Zombie hunters,” was the only explanation the
lawyer gave. “She left an envelope for you. You can come and pick
it up at any time, but the reading of the will is on Wednesday at
2:30.”
He skipped the reading of the will, he didn’t
really care, but he was curious about the envelope. Finally, a
couple weeks later, he got around to picking it up.
The letter inside read:
My dearest Tommy,
I have kept a secret from you all these years,
but now that I am gone, I feel like you should know.
When you were four years old, we were in a
terrible car accident. A drunk driver ran our car off of the road
and we tumbled end over end down a ravine. You were in your car
seat, so you were unharmed. But as the car fell, the fuel line must
have been pierced, because the car was flooded with the smell of
gasoline.
I got you out as fast as I could and away from
the car before it burst into flames. But it wasn’t far enough. I
covered you with my body when the car exploded. A piece of the car
hit me in the head, leaving a gash through my face and skull.
Another piece of shrapnel hit you in the eye.
In the hospital, they gave you my eye. That’s
why you’ve always had to wear glasses. Before I died, I asked to be
reanimated so I was still able to take care of you.
I just thought you needed to know the truth. I’m
sorry I kept it from you all these years, but no time ever seemed
like the right time.
I will always love you.
Mom
****
Mother and Child
“I’m sorry,” said the doctor, “there isn’t
anything I can do.”
We were in the hospital and my wife was eight
weeks pregnant. The doctor had just given me the ultimatum that
every father fears.
Last night, Amber was complaining of stomach
pains after supper. At first, we thought it was just improperly
defrosted meat. But as the night went on, the pain got worse, and
eventually we drove to the emergency room.
They had wheeled her away and I hadn’t seen her
for hours. Finally, the doctor came in, and I could tell right away
that the news wasn’t good.
As soon as he said, “I need to know if we should
focus our efforts on mother or child,” I nearly passed out. How
could I be asked to make such a decision?
I went into the room to talk to my wife. She
already knew what was going on. “What do I do?” I asked her.
“Don’t worry about me,” she said. “Save our
son.”
“Son?” I said, but the nurses rushed me out of
the room.
“What would you like me to do?” asked the
doctor.
“Save my son,” I said impulsively.
I waited anxiously, wondering if I had made the
right decision. During one of my periods of sitting, pacing,
sitting, pacing, a man came in the room and sat next to me.
The next time I sat, with my head in my hands,
he scooted up next to me and whispered, “I can help you.”
“What?”
“I can save your wife,” he said.
I started to say, “How do you even know,” then
stopped myself. “Yes,” I said, just as impulsively as I had made
the previous decision.
When the doctor came out, the mysterious man
told me to wait, then went into the room first. He came back out,
and said, “Okay.”
My wife smiled at me as I walked into the room.
She was holding our new baby boy.
As I held my son in my arms, I finally asked my
wife, “What did he do?”
She looked sad for a moment. “I’m a zombie
now.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s okay,” I
said. “I am so grateful just to still have you, and love you even
more for it.”
****
Graduation
There
comes a point in high school where parents just aren’t as
interested anymore. It’s another concert in another auditorium,
like the dozens of others they have been to.
It’s not that they didn’t care. I knew they did,
and they were very proud of me. I talked about quitting orchestra,
and they talked me out of it. But I was the youngest of four kids,
and they were getting older, so I couldn’t blame them for not
coming to every single performance.
I didn’t hold it against them. And I always had
family support. My older sister, Sarah, never missed a performance.
She was always in the front row, for concerts, events, awards
ceremonies, anything that I did.
Except for the last concert of my senior year.
When I peeked out from behind the curtains, my dad was there (it
was my last concert, after all), but the seats next to him were
empty. At first I thought that maybe Sarah was in the bathroom. Or
maybe she was driving separately and was just late.
It was probably the worst performance of my
life. I kept looking around my violin to that empty seat. I
couldn’t concentrate on the music. When it remained unfilled, I
started to look at my dad. He looked sad and agitated, and his eyes
were all red.
After the performance, I quickly grabbed my case
and coat and ran out to meet him. Before he could tell me that I
did a good job, the words were out of my mouth. “Where’s
Sarah?”
“Come on,” he said in a tired voice. “Let’s go
see her.”
On the way to the hospital, he told me what
happened. As they were getting ready to leave, Sarah collapsed.
They called an ambulance and took her to the hospital. The doctor
explained it was a late stage of cancer, and there wasn’t much they
could do.
We got to the ICU and waited in the lobby
forever. Finally the doctor came in. “I’m not sure how she got this
far without any symptoms, but I don’t know if she’ll make it
through the night.”
“What about zombies?” I asked quietly.
“What?” asked the doctor.
“She’s young, she never got a chance. Can we
make her into a zombie so she can keep going on?”
The doctor said he’d be right back. He lied. He
was gone for about two hours, but he did finally come back.
“Okay,” he said. “If that’s what you want, we
can do that.”
I looked at my parents and brothers hopefully.
Both of my brothers nodded their heads in agreement.
“What do you think, honey?”
“I think Sarah deserves another chance.”
When I graduated two weeks later, as I walked on
the stage to receive my diploma, I looked to the front row. And
there, smiling back at me, was my sister Sarah.
****
Friends & Enemies
The Unemployment Line
Like many zombies in this economy, after
my transition to the undead, I lost my job.
I had been an accountant at the firm for twenty
years, and one of their most prized employees, but they still had
the audacity to fire me after I became infected. There was still no
such thing as state of living discrimination, so I had nothing to
sue them for.