Brave (12 page)

“Wait,”
he said softly and slipped out of bed. I let my eyes rove over him,
and when he glanced at me as he rummaged around in the night stand
drawer, he swore. “You’re killing me, babe.”

He
went into the bathroom, and I sat up so I could get the full view. He
was magnificent, and I was nowhere near tired of looking at him.
Hell, he was my Christmas present, and I intended to fully unwrap—and
unravel—him.

When
he came back out, he held up the condoms.

“Score,”
I said.

“You’re
killing
me, Alissa.”

“You
make me feel gloriously
alive
.
Come back here and I’ll show you.”

He
snapped off the light, but there was a spark and a flare as he lit a
candle. With a remote he turned on the carols we’d played while
decorating.

He
set his knee on the bed and cradled himself in his hand, his eyes
intense, smoky, his lashes dropping to half-mast over those gray,
expressive, very direct eyes. He closed his eyes and emitted a soft
groan as he touched the head of his hard-on. I couldn’t stand
it. I reared up and cupped him, taking over. He groaned again, deeper
this time, a rumble of pure pleasure in his chest and threw back his
head as I slowly rolled the condom onto him.

I
couldn’t stop touching him, my hands rubbing up and down.

“Alissa,
I’m going to…ah…
come…
”
his voice rasped and he had to take a ragged breath, grabbing my
wrist. “…if you don’t stop touching me.”

I
let go of him, and he slipped back into bed, his skin gloriously
soft, cool from the chill air in the room, but the sensation was
invigorating. He looked down at me in the flickering light, his hand
settling on my waist. With one smooth movement, he slid it all the
way up my ribcage to my full breast and aching nipple. He squeezed my
breast and rubbed his thumb over the hard, engorged point. I cried
out when his hot, wet mouth captured the peak and he sucked hard.

“Oh,
Dakota
,”
I murmured into his fragrant, soft hair, rubbing my face against him.

A
furor started in my chest, escalating as he moved to my other breast
and throbbing nipple. I arched my back at the exquisite torture, my
breath heaving. I had never been so sensitized, so turned on, so
needy.

The
mouth I loved to watch, those lips I had ached to kiss? He sure knew
what to do with them.

I
tried to catch my breath, to force air past the frenzy as he rolled
to his back and pulled me across his hips. My consuming need had
control, and I was helpless to deny it.

I
folded down on him, as he caught me against him in a fierce embrace,
crushing us together from shoulder to thigh, his stiff, pulsating
hard-on against my slick heat.

“God,
babe, you feel so good.”

I
couldn’t answer him, couldn’t even say aloud how
desperately I wanted him. All I could do was hang onto him, trying to
surface above the heavy throbbing that threatened to swamp me. I
wanted him now,
needed
him now. His hands clamped to my hips, he rolled his pelvis beneath
me, his hold demanding, the feel of him wrenching a deep sob from me.
A shudder coursed through him as he lifted me up, his biceps
thickening with the heavy flex of his muscles. With a powerful,
bone-melting move, he slid me along that hard ridge I ached to have
inside me.

His
voice gruff and gentle, he soothed, “Easy, beautiful. Easy.”
Inhaling deeply, jaggedly, he slid me again, supporting me. I watched
him and the exquisite pleasure-pain on his face as it contorted.

“That
feels…so good,
Alissa.
Fuck,
f-u-c-k
.”

And
then his control slipped past the breaking point, and I watched
Dakota’s eyes glaze and darken into a gray so breathtaking I
couldn’t look away.

He
entered me in one powerful stroke, his hips bucking and mine as
uncontrollable as his as I rocked against him to get the maximum
amount of penetration.

He
breathed through clenched teeth as he pumped hard and fast into me,
and the heat and energy of my rushing blood redoubled, and I cried
out from the powerful throb of it.

“Yes,
tighten…ah…around…me. Oh, God, that feels
incredible.”

As
the spasms eased, he began to move slowly, pushing me toward yet
another peak. I dropped my head and met his mouth, savored his ragged
breathing, his warm and wet and delicious lips.

I
pushed back up, placed my palms flat against the thick wall of
muscle, then ran them over his hard nipples, my breath hitching with
each stroke and roll of his magnificent hips.

“Oh,
Dakota. Oh,
babe
,”
I whispered. He took a hard, shuddering breath and I emitted a low,
tormented cry as he thrust deeply, once, twice—two long
controlled thrusts was all it took—and the pressure splintered,
my whole body convulsing around his, my clenching release detonating
his. He groaned and the vibration buzzed the skin of my palms.

He
hung on to me as tremor after tremor coursed through him, but even
with my frantic urgency, he was firm but gentle.

I
was trembling so badly that I had no coordination left. Dakota rolled
me beneath him, still deep inside me. Enfolding me more securely in
his arms, and even though I was nearly incoherent, I knew his only
awareness was of me.

No
flashback and I felt triumphant.

It
took me a long time to surface from the blinding release he had given
me, before I could ease my hold on him. Finally I was able to relax
my frantic embrace, my legs slackening from around his waist as my
strength gave way to a disabling languor. His rib cage expanded with
a shaky sigh, and then Dakota cradled my head in his hands and kissed
the curve of my neck, his mouth moist and warm against my skin.

His
voice was textured with tenderness as he whispered against my ear.
“Are you okay?”

Drawing
a deep, stabilizing breath, I tightened my arms around his shoulders,
my voice uneven when I answered, “Merry Christmas to me. Best
present, ever! Or should I say best multiple presents, ever?”

He
threw his head back and laughed out loud, and I decided that Dakota’s
laugh was about the best thing I’d ever heard in my life. It
rumbled through his chest, and I sighed with the joy of being in his
arms.

He
hugged me hard, folding me in a tight embrace, and I tucked my face
against his neck, finally aware of how hard I was trembling. He held
me for several more moments, then ran his hand up my rib cage.

“You’re
a treasure, beautiful.”

“I
beg to differ. You’re worth your weight in gold, babe.”

“Calling
me that made me jack off.”

“
Jack
off
…damn…you’re
making me really hot again.”

“I
need a breather. I can only handle one present every hour or so.”

“Okay,”
I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him close,
kissing the curve of his jaw.

He
gritted his teeth and swore. His body convulsed as he started to
withdraw from me, and I clutched him, my breath catching as he pulled
free. He let out a ragged sigh as he said, “Give me a minute.”

I
let him go and he kissed my shoulder, then loosened his hold and
slipped out of bed. I heard the water run, knew that he was taking
care of the condom.

When
he came back out I was already drowsing. He slipped his arms around
me. “Beautiful,” he said softly, kissing my eyelids,
placing kisses all over my face and lips.

“I
know that I’ve had twenty-two Christmases, but just now, just
this minute, it feels like the first one. Goodnight,
Dakota,” I said. “And Merry Christmas.”

“Goodnight,”
he replied “And, yes, this was most definitely the merriest
Christmas, ever.”

Alissa

I
woke up Christmas morning, my body heavy with lethargy. Trying to
shake off the last dregs of sleep, I stared vacantly at the ceiling,
aware of the warmth and hardness of a slumbering man against my back,
my own breathing harmonized to the even rise and fall of his chest.
By touch alone, I knew that Dakota was sprawled on his stomach, his
pillow pushed aside, his face turned toward me.

I
absorbed the feel of him against me and the rhythm of his breathing
for a moment; then, careful not to disturb him, I eased up on one
elbow and smiled at the sight of his face, and knew then that I would
need that sight for the rest of my life.

I
raked my hair back off my face, then leaned against the carved
headboard and realized all of a sudden that he’d probably
carved it.

I
looked down at his peaceful face. Tentatively, I reached out and
touched his hair. I drew my fingers down his cheek, fascinated by the
faint, prickly stubble there, the burnished skin across his
cheekbones. How exotically appealing a man could be

He
was lying with the sheet shoved down to his waist, one arm sprawled
above his head, the other resting along the edge of the bed. The
early-morning light angled across his exposed back, defining the hard
ridge of muscles across his shoulders and up his torso, casting his
deeply tanned skin in a patina of bronze.

Faint
white lines crisscrossed his back and I turned over my forearm to
trace my own scars, a strange kind of protectiveness unfolding in me
as I gazed down.

We
both had been bathed in the fire of strife, his brutal and
terrifying, mine silent and agonized. But we were both here now,
together against odds that I couldn’t even begin to fathom.

And
Charlie had brought me here. He’d been the catalyst that had
led me to Dakota, to this closed, isolated, beautiful man. If it
hadn’t been for that catastrophe, for the snowstorm that had
stranded me with him, I might never have had Dakota to anchor my
life. I would have just gone ahead and released Charlie’s ashes
and never known Dakota was here. I didn’t want to think what
would have happened to Dakota then. He was my lifeline and I was his.
I might have missed out on everything that was so important to me.

My
throat tightened, but it wasn’t time yet. Charlie had given me
permission, but it just wasn’t time. I had something to do, and
this day would be filled with more than just a celebration of
Christmas. It would be a celebration of life.

Careful
not to disturb him, I combed my fingers through the dark thickness of
Dakota’s hair, gently drawing it back from his forehead. I had
spoken the truth when I had told him that he was a gift to me.

Absently
fingering the silky strands, I stared off into space for a moment.
All at once the world just shifted and made room, and I savored the
feel of the man I loved. Knew there was nothing, absolutely nothing I
wouldn’t do for him. My heart opened up like a flower, blooming
in the deep, cold of winter with a warmth that couldn’t be
denied.
This
is what life was about. This is what it was meant to be.

Reluctantly
I slipped out of bed. Moving as quietly as possible and shivering a
bit, I went to the window and looked out over the pristine whiteness
of the snow. It was a beautiful, cold winter’s day. I saw the
wind whipping the tops of the trees.
Soon
,
I thought.
Soon,
you will be holding on to that wind like holding on to the tip of a
tiger’s tail. Soon
.

A
snowplow rumbled by. The pass must be open now and I could go home.
But, so much had changed. I guess we would have to figure out where
our relationship was going to go from here.

I
picked up my clothes, but when my hand fell on Dakota’s plaid
button-down, I slipped it on with a minimum of noise, not wanting to
wake him, because I figured that he hadn’t been able to sleep
deeply like that in quite a while. I breathed deep of his scent,
letting it fill me with light.

The
sensations came barreling back with a swiftness that made my legs
want to buckle. Tipping my head back, I closed my eyes, the heavy,
fluttery commotion in my chest compressing my lungs, making it nearly
impossible to breathe. Memories and sensations overwhelmed my senses
and clouded my mind, and I remembered the out-of-control need that
had consumed us, recalled the feel of his mouth hot and hungry
against mine, the feel of him moving hard and fast inside me. And I
remembered the thick, pulsating spasms that had racked my whole body,
the convulsive strength of his arms when he climaxed. And I
remembered the last soul-shattering kiss he’d given me.

My
whole body responding to the sensory memories, I turned and weakly
rested my forehead against the bathroom doorjamb. I rolled my head
and looked toward the bed at his sleeping form.

Groaning
softly, I knew I was going to drive myself crazy if I didn’t
suppress the erotic memories that claimed me. But my body still
hummed from overstimulation and an unfulfilled ache that was going to
be nearly impossible to ignore. I wanted nothing more than to crawl
back into Dakota’s arms and stay there for the rest of the day.
Last night had been like a beginning. For the first time—for
the very first time—every single emotional barrier had been
down, and I wanted all that passion and wildness, that feeling of
connection that had been everything. Everything. I only held
something back right now because this was between me and Charlie, and
I
knew
Dakota would understand. He would help me, but he just wasn’t
part of this. There was only me and my deep and abiding friendship
and love for my cherished Charlie.

Steeling
myself, I pushed away from the casing.

Ducking
into the bathroom, I pulled my hair back and twisted it up on top of
my head in a mess of blond tresses. I shut off the light and went
back into the bedroom. Pausing by the bed, I gazed down at him, a new
wave of protectiveness stirring in me. Needing to touch him, I very
carefully drew the sheet over him and smoothed back his hair. If only
he knew how much I would need him today. My fingers still sensitized
by the feel of him, I made myself leave him, silently closing the
door behind me.