Breakwater (7 page)

“Who braided your hair then?” The words were deadly soft and Belladonna knew what was coming, knew she’d been caught in a lie. She tried to back away. Her six years on the planet had taught her the mood swings of her mother, and that lying was her only hope of avoiding a beating. Even if she got caught, it could be the only chance she had of surviving. “Not Ulani, she didn’t do it.”

“You little liar.”

The blows went on and on, raining down like a thunderstorm that seemed to never end. The pain lanced through her, and at one point she wondered if this time she wouldn’t wake up. That would be good. To just go to sleep and not hurt anymore. The mother goddess would be kind. At least, she hoped she would be. Maybe the mother goddess looked like Ulani. Yes, she could imagine that easily.

As suddenly as it started, the beating was over and Belladonna lay on the floor, shivering and aching. Hurting in both body and heart. Alone. Scared. Night fell and she crawled into a corner, taking the tiny blanket she loved so much with her. Blue and green, stitched with her namesake, she lay down on it.

“Mama,” she whispered. “Mama, why don’t you love me?”

I jerked hard out of the memory unable to stomach yet another truth of our family. I fell away from Belladonna and vomited all over the ground. Burying my fingers into the hot sand, I struggled to breath around the sobs that built in my chest. Sorrow and pity flooded me. Just a little girl, she’d been so tiny, so afraid. The sorrow and pity were gone in a flash, wiped away in a flush of anger so intense I couldn’t see straight.

This had been going on for so many years and the mother goddess had done nothing. Nothing but let the smallest of her children suffer. I drove my power deep into the earth, the fury I felt akin to when I’d lost Bramley. “You let them be hurt. You LET THEM!” I screamed the words, didn’t even think about the pain that would hit me when I grabbed for my power. The ground shook with a violence that bucked the whole island, sending the ocean away from the shore in a rush that left fish flopping on the wet sand.

“ANSWER ME! WHY?” I couldn’t contain it, the rage, the pain, the loss. Belladonna was a creature of her mother’s creation. But she’d been a child once. A child who’d needed and deserved love and protection. Yet she’d been left to her mother’s mercy which was anything but.

“Lark, have you lost your mind?” Belladonna screamed at me, grabbing my arms, dragging me up the beach. “The water is coming back.”

I let go of the earth’s power and spun around. The ocean
was
rushing toward us. I’d inadvertently caused a tsunami. We ran, Belladonna tripping and falling over her dress. I scooped her up over my shoulder and bolted for high ground. She bounced and screamed from her perch. “Hurry!”

All my training came together in a split second. I knew I could outrun the water on my own, but not carrying Belladonna and her dress. She was going to have to help. “Pull the ground up, block the water!”

“I can’t, I can’t feel the earth!”

What the hell was going on? There was no way I could carry her and try to reach the earth’s power. I dropped my sister, and faced the oncoming water. I pushed past the fear of the pain, reached for the power beneath our feet and felt . . . nothing.

You have no right to chastise me, Larkspur.
The mother goddess spoke to me, her voice firm and calm.
Apologize and I will allow you access to the earth again.

I couldn’t do it. My anger was too new, too raw.

With a snarl, I grabbed Belladonna around the waist. “Hold on.”

“Are you serious?” She screeched as the wave swallowed us whole. For just a moment we floated in a stillness that seemed peaceful before we were thrown forward, farther up the beach. The water was murky and I struggled to see through the churned up sand and plant life. We brushed against the top of a tree and I grabbed hold of the branches. Belladonna clung to me like a monkey and at first, I thought we were going to make it.

Then the wave began to recede, the water pulling on us with the force of an entire ocean behind it. Belladonna slipped, her grip nowhere near as strong as mine. Letting go of the tree with one hand, I grabbed a handful of her hair and buried my fingers in deep. She might have a few less strands when we were done, but I couldn’t lose her to the water.

Not when I was the cause of the tsunami in the first place.

The ocean dropped around us, our bodies slowly lowering until we were standing on firm ground. So to speak. The branches of the tree tangled around us. Below me, Belladonna gave a groan. “Let go of my hair, Lark.”

“You’ll fall,” I pointed out.

“LET GO OF MY HAIR!” she screeched. I did as I was told and opened my fingers.

She tumbled down through the tree, her dress tearing more than once before she hit the ground below with a thick thud.

I shimmied down, dropping beside her. Carefully, I put a hand on her back, her body shivering under my fingers. “Belladonna, are you okay?”

She slapped my hands away. “What the hell is wrong with you? What are you trying to do, show me up?”

“No, of course not.”

What was she talking about anyway? It wasn’t like there was anyone to see what had just happened except her and me.

“I’m telling Father about this the second we get home.”

I let out a sigh. “I would expect nothing less from you.”

Her eyes shot to mine and for just a second I saw the little girl I’d experienced through her memories.

“Mama, why don’t you love me?”

Shaking my head, I held a hand out to her. She let me help her to her feet at least.

“I need a new dress. This one is ruined. Which is fine by me, I hated it anyway.”

“I can fix it,” I pulled a dagger from a strap on my calf.

“What are you doing? Lark, stop it!” But I’d already cut the train off the bottom and sliced through some of the thick material leaving the bottom edge jagged. With tiny cuts, I split the material and then pulled each slit apart. The full skirt became a loose, many pieced hula type dress. Belladonna shifted her feet and the tiny slices moved around baring bits and pieces of her smooth legs.

“That’s actually not bad.” She patted me on the top of my head absently. As if I were a servant. Did she know what I’d seen of her memory? Probably not. The only reason Ash had known what I’d seen of his the first time I’d Traveled was that he’d known it was a possibility. My mother, Ulani, had the same ability. Or curse, depending how you looked at it.

“Let’s find a boat.” I stared past her to the devastation that had occurred. How the hell were we going to find a boat with this mess? Trees were down, human garbage was everywhere and—

“Will that work?” Belladonna pointed toward the water’s edge. A rowboat floated, oars sitting balanced across the middle. As if that were a normal occurrence immediately after a tsunami.

“There’s no way that just showed up,” I said, pulling my spear from my side. With a swift twist, I connected the two pieces and held the weapon out in front of me as I approached the bobbing boat.

“The Undine’s must have sent it. Maybe their civil war is over? That would be brilliant. I’d rather not go and deal with the fish lips.” Belladonna leaned forward, her feet dipping into the water; I pushed her back.

“Stay behind me. We don’t know this isn’t a trap.”

Surprisingly, she nodded and let me go first. I stepped into the water waiting for something to grab me and pull me under. My experience with the other two families, air and fire, had not been . . . pleasant.

Funny enough, I didn’t expect my visit to the Undines to be any different.

I used the hook on my spear to pull the boat closer. Nothing pulled back or launched out at us. The boated floated nicely toward me, bobbing on the water almost as if welcoming us with a tiny dance.

Dragging it onto dry land, I looked it over. A simple slatted wooden boat with oars, two seats—one for the rower in the center, and one for the person being ferried at the prow. There was no question where I’d be sitting. On the center seat was a thick envelope with no writing on it. Belladonna grabbed it before I could and peeled it open. A slow smile slid across her face. “We are cordially invited to come to the Deep. Courtesy of Requiem.”

“Do you know him?” I took the paper from her and looked it over. Nothing else. No clues.

“He’s one of the men vying for the throne.”

“Then do we really want his help? Aren’t we supposed to be neutral in this?”

She let out an exasperated sigh and shook the paper at me, and then at the boat. “Larkspur, how do you expect we’re going to get to the Deep without a boat? Just because we take this rickety little thing doesn’t mean we are on Requiem’s side.”

It was my turn to snort. “That is not how politics work, and we both know it.”

But she had a point. We needed to get to the Deep, and right now I wasn’t sure we’d find a better way.

“Come on, let’s get this show on the road. Not that there’s really a road, but definitely a show.” I helped her in then shoved the boat out, wading up to my waist before pulling myself in. I slid the oars into the round oar locks and drove the paddles down. The water swirled out around the oars each time I dipped them, eddies disappearing into the crystal-clear water. Belladonna leaned off the side of the boat, trailing a hand in the ripples from the boat cutting the water. “You know, this is really nice.”

“Easy for you to say,” I grunted as I adjusted our direction. From the globe, I knew I had to head straight east from the coast of Bermuda. Sweat already coursed down my spine and arms. The heat was unreal and the humidity high, and I knew it wouldn’t take me long to run out of energy at that rate.

We were in the open ocean within an hour, far enough out that I could barely see the island we’d started on. I sighted it once more, checked our bearings, and continued to row east.

I eyed up my sister, lounging in her seat. “So do you have a plan to get the information Father wants?”

Belladonna sniffed and raised her hands to her hair. With deft fingers she twisted her long locks off her neck and into a perfect French roll. “Men spill their secrets when they are in bed. Even you have to know that.”

My stomach tightened and I stopped rowing. “Father sent you here to
sleep
with someone?”

She turned on the wooden seat to look me in the eye. “You still think he’s a good man, don’t you? Even after the way he’s treated you, and don’t give me that look. We all see it. He treats you like compost, Lark. The king will use the tools he has at hand. You. Me. Ash. Whoever he has to in order to rule. That’s politics, but of course, what would you know of politics, grubbing in the dirt for most of your life.” She flipped a stray curl of hair over her shoulder, and quite literally looked down her nose at me.

I leaned forward and the boat rocked under my shift in weight. She let out a squeak and grabbed the edge of her seat, effectively pinning her where she was. One way or another I was going to get through to her.

“I understand all too clearly the politics. Those in power make the rules and those rules change as it suits their wishes and whims. I know Father has made mistakes and worm shit choices. But you and I? We have to decide whose example we follow. And as far as I can see, you are still far too much your mother’s daughter and I hate it. I hate that you think you can’t get information without spreading your legs like a common whore. Has it never occurred to you to use your brain instead of your body?”

Her gray eyes narrowed. “You are blind, Lark. Blind. You assume you know me, but you don’t. It takes nothing to get a man to believe he will bed you. A soft touch. A whisper. That doesn’t mean you actually go through with it.”

I sat back, blinking. “You mean you tease them?”

“Unlike
your
mother, I am not a whore. And I certainly wouldn’t be sleeping with anyone within any of the other families. Can you imagine the horror?”

Of course not. I let out a bitter laugh at the thought. “Your mother would kill you herself if she thought you carried a half-breed child.”

Belladonna turned her face away from me to look across the water, an icy chill rolling off her. “Get rowing, Ender. I want to be in the Deep before the end of the day.”

A part of me wanted to grab and shake her. I was close to pushing her to look into a mirror she’d been avoiding. Her memory I’d seen was at the front of my brain and I saw so clearly the child she had been; the little girl who wanted so desperately to be loved.

I wanted to save her, as I hadn’t been able to save Bram. Yes, she was older now, but that didn’t mean Cassava wasn’t still using her. Hurting her with lies and manipulation only I could see.

She shifted so she could look at me. Raising an eyebrow, she waved at the oars. “Are we going? No, we aren’t. Do your job, Ender. Stop thinking you have the brains to be an ambassador.”

With what felt like a momentous effort, I kept my mouth shut. What did I think, that Belladonna and I were suddenly becoming best friends on this trip? Maybe a part of me had hoped.

Belladonna snapped her fingers. “Your only job is to keep me safe.”

I put my hands on the oars and drove them into the water. “That it is, Ambassador. That it is.”