Breathe (6 page)

‘
You are old,’ I quickly respond. I didn’t mean it. He was only five years older then me, and didn’t look it.

‘
Ouch!’ he said as he walked away from me and jumped on a high bench by the back wall. He gestured for me to join him on the bench. I walked closer to him, but remained standing. Some racks crossed half the room, and I leaned against the back of one. My head was spinning. I could hear a low beat from the music from the other side of the walls. Christopher was sitting still, watching me. The silence made me uncomfortable.

‘
So, what’s the deal with the suit and helmet? Not the smartest outfit to wear at a dance party.’  

‘
That would be Andrews bright idea. I suggested to him that we stopped by his brothers party after I saw your invitation…’
I knew he had seen it!
‘…but Andrew thought it would be too much fuss with drinking fans. So he borrowed a couple of bikes and equipment from a friend, so we could walk around without being recognised. It was actually quite fun, up until we tried to drink.’

I
laughed and remember the trouble Kiro had with getting a straw up their helmet.

‘
You are so beautiful when you laugh, Sara.’ He jumped of the bench and came towards me.

I stopped laughing.
‘That’s not funny, Chis. You have to stop encouraging me.’ I leaned back to keep my composure.

‘
You can’t make me deny the truth.’ He lifted his left hand against the rack, blocking my exit. My pulse started to rise, and I wasn’t sure if I was afraid or turned on. I took a step to my right, towards the back corner, to get some breathing distance.

‘
So, are you and Andrew straying a lot, crashing student parties and such?’ I tried to disarm the atmosphere.

He was about to respond when we heard a noise from the other side of the room. Someone was grabbing the knob and punching in some numbers on the outside.
Christopher reacted fast, moving me to the corner were a cabinet hid us from view. He put one finger against my lips, and I had to restrain myself from kissing it.
Not the best time to do that,
I though. The sound of the music became louder as the door opened. We could hear steps moving towards the right wall, and sounds of bottles as they moved back. Christopher was leaning against me, covering me completely. I didn’t know why. If they saw him, they would stop and eventually see me too. But I didn’t mind it. I could feel his breath on my hair, and the sensation sent tingling messages to my body. I was soaking up the smell of him, mixed with leather and sweat. His lips trailed my forehead like the other day, and I was biting my lips again, desperate to taste him.

When the door
opened and closed again, I half expected him to move away. Instead, he looked down on my face. I lift my chin and his lips touches mine. First, they were gentle, searching. He took a step back and looked at my face, to see if it was ok. I missed his closeness, and pulled him towards me. I was beyond thinking if this was right or wrong. Then he kissed with a lot more force, pushing me to the wall and grabbing me from behind. My arms locked behind his neck, and my body pressed against him. I was flying again. My blood was rushing, my legs felt weak, and my heart was beating wild. Nobody else existed. I wanted him. He clearly wanted me. I could feel it against my hip despite the leather suit. His lips left my mouth to kiss my neck. I moaned as they reached below my ear. I pushed him harder to me, tugging his hair. His hands where moving up my back, taking my top with them. He had almost unveiled my breast, when he suddenly lets go of me, and steps away with a growl. Only then do I hear his phone ringing from the jacket left on the bench. As he goes to get it, I try to regain my balance and slow my heart. My breathing is ragged. 

‘
Yes?’ You could hear his irritation in a single word.

I lower my shirt in place and tried to clear my head of what I had been about to do.

‘Where?’ Christopher asked into the phone. ‘No, not now!’ 

He goes
back to me, and places a hand around my hip while talking. I was still leaning against the wall, trying to compose myself.

‘
Ok, I’ll talk to you later. Hey wait, do you need the helmet?’ His eyes are locked with mine. ‘I’m sure you can stash the rest here, I think Jared has some clothes you can snatch. The staff’s room. Do you remember the code? Come alone, ok?’ 

He put his phone on the bench and stepped away from me
whispering ‘stay’, about the same time I heard someone outside the door. I could hear Andrews voice mixing with the music as the door opened.

‘
Wait here, I’m just going to change my clothes.’ I could hear a girls voice whining. ‘No, sweetie. It’s for staff only, see? I’ll be right back.’

Then the door closes, and I c
ould hear Christopher. ‘Andrew, you dog. How old is she?’

‘
Old enough! I heard Andrew laugh. ‘Where are you heading? And with who? Should I be worried?’

‘
Very.’

They stopped talking for a minute, and I bet Christopher were gesturing something. I could hear Andrew unbuttoning his clothes. My legs didn’t hold me, and I slid down to a sitting position
, trying not to make a sound, although I was sure Andrew knew I was back here.

‘
Next time, lets not do the helmets, ok?’ Andrew finally broke their silence.

‘
Hey, it was your idea. Just put the clothes under the table, and get it later. I’m borrowing the helmet.’

‘
I’ve got room in the car, if you want me to drive you somewhere.’

‘
I don’t think so. I’ll see you later. Lunch at the club tomorrow?’ I didn’t hear the answer, but I could hear hands clashing together, and pictured a high five. Then the door opened and closed again, and Christopher stood in front of me with another helmet, grinning at me.

‘
Do you want to go for a ride?’

I looked up at him.
‘Where?’

‘
Anywhere,’ he answered.

‘
Are you sure you should drive? Haven’t you been drinking?’ I didn’t know the limit in Britain, but I was sure it wasn’t as strict as in Norway. I didn’t want to be a riding with someone under the influence, though.

‘
How much do you think I got from the straw? I’m completely sober. Besides, it’s so hot in there, that I probably lost more fluid than I drank. I wish this place had a shower.’ He reached for my hand and I grab it while staggering to the floor. I could swear the ground was moving.

‘
I have a shower,’ I said while trying to get a hold of my balance. I wasn’t completely aware of my words.

He gaped at me for a second.
‘You, on the other hand, are obliviously not sober. How much have you had to drink today?’ he asked, scrutinizing me.

‘
Not much,’ I lied.

‘
Enough to invite me home for a shower?’

I blush
ed all over. Should I take it back? Did I realise what I just implied?

‘
Yes’ I answered both Christopher and myself.

‘
Well, then I’m going to take you up on that offer.’ He reached for his jacket and phone, and started to dress. ‘You won’t regret it.’

‘
Hey, you know I just said shower, right?’

‘
I know!’ He was grinning his smug smile again, and gave me Andrews helmet.

‘
Maybe you need a cold shower’ I muttered as I follow him towards the door.

«All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.»
- J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

He put his helmet back on, before exiting the door. I didn’t see the point at first, since I already
knew it was him. Then I realised that it would be a problem being recognised by someone else, while leaving a bar with another woman. The other woman being me, excited me more than it should. I got out first and headed for the stairs before he grabbed my hand. He pointed towards a door in the opposite end. I could see a sign above marked
Exit
, it was probably the door the employees used. Christopher seemed to know this place a little too well. If this was planned, I hadn’t giving him much fight. In fact, I was ready to throw myself at him.

As soon as he opened the door, I could feel the cool breeze waking me up. Soft light from a streetlight above shined on a stone stairwell. He stepped out, but I didn’t follow.

‘I need to get my jacket and tell Alice I’m leaving. I’ll meet you outside, ok?’

He paused a second before l
etting go of me. Then he reached for the helmet in my other arm and nodded. It went dark as the door closed between us. The doubt hit me as soon as I was alone. What if he left without me? What if he didn’t hear me, and thought I backed out? I ran down the hall towards the public exit, but half way up the stairs I turned around. I had to let Alice know I was leaving.

The crowed were thinning,
and I had a clear path towards Alice. She was sitting by the same table, leaning forward to Kiro, who was leaning in too. They were whispering into each other ears, and seemed quite intimate. I abruptly stopped a few feet away from them when I noticed Kiros hand stroking her thigh. Kiro and Alice? I hadn’t seen that one coming. But there were no time to ponder that now. I interrupted them to tell her I was leaving.   

‘
Are you ok?’ she asked, looking around me to see if anyone was waiting for me.              

‘
Yes, I’m going home,’ I smiled, and turned before she could dig for more.

It didn’t take long to get my jacket, and I put it on while walking outside. The streets were empty apart for a couple of people passing at the other side of the road. I was half expecting him to wait just outside the doors, but he was nowhere to be seen. I felt the disappointment hit me, and was about to sink onto the pavement and sulk, when I heard a motorcycle engine. He was at the corner of the building, sitting on a red sports bike, holding the extra helmet. The motorcycle was big, and I realised that I’ve never been on a bike before. I wasn’t about to let this chance escape. It was hard not to run against him, I tried to keep my steps even and straight, and sober. Maybe I overdid it, because he was getting restless. Before I could reach him, he opened part of his visor.

‘
Did you change your mind?’

I shoo
k my head and grabbed the helmet. It was a bit big, and I had trouble with the strap under my chin.

He removed his gloves.
‘Here, let me do it.’

He stroked my neck when he was finished, before he closed his visor and put both arms on the steering. I jumped on, and after I found a place to put my feet, I let my arms close around him. It felt good to push him against my body.

The bike jerked as he drove of into the street. Friday night traffic in London could be a challenge, but Christopher seemed skilled. He followed the flow and went between the cars when the jam was tight. I tried to follow his movement as he bent his body, not sure if it was the right thing to do, or if it even mattered. We didn’t get much speed, which was good considering my outfit. The jacket and boots kept me warm, but I could feel a biting gust on my exposed thighs. It didn’t take long to reach my neighbourhood, and as we got to the apartment building, I let go of my tight grip and pointed to the incline to the parking basement. My key card opened the gate, and I managed to get it from my pocket and swiping it without stepping of the bike. I think it was the first time I had used it, I didn’t own a car or have a drivers license. The basement was large, but held few cars. All the spaces were assigned to an apartment, and I pointed towards my number. I had trouble getting of the bike, my legs felt stiff even though the ride was short. I removed my helmet and put it on the bike, but Christopher didn’t do the same. He kept his on. It looked kind of stupid, walking into the elevator with the helmet on. He seemed a bit paranoid. I could see a strange couple in the mirror, and smiled at our refection. It was impossible to know if he was smiling to, but he took my hand and squeezed it. Reaching the seventh floor, we exited together, still hand in hand. I used the same card to open my door, and held the door for him to enter. It was the second time he was here, but the circumstances were completely changed. We didn’t have Anna to hold us in check. I didn’t have my morals in check. As soon as he removed his helmet, I wanted to throw myself at him. Somehow I managed to control myself.

The living room was dark, and I closed the curtains before hitting the lights. There were still beer bottles on the table, Alice and I had a few while getting ready. The apartment had been spotless the last time Christopher was here. Now, not so much! It was clean of course, but I hadn’t been bothered with tidying before leaving. A small part of me was worried that he would be angry because of that, but I knew it was stupid to think it. He was nothing like Erik. And I hadn’t been expecting company. Still, I quickly removed the clutter and carried the empty bottles to the kitchen. In the meantime, Christopher had removed his jacket and boots, carefully stacking them in a corner.