BSC08 Boy-Crazy Stacey (5 page)

"Gurber Garden-silly-billy-goo-goo!" exclaimed Claire.

"Burger Garden! What a way to end this bright and sunny day!" said Vanessa, who was sounding more like a greeting card with each poem.

The others cheered.

At six o'clock that evening we waved goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Pike as they backed out of the driveway.

"Well, let's go!" said Jordan.

"I want a double Crazy Burger with the works/' announced Byron.

The kids looked at Mary Anne and me expectantly.

"You're all ready to go?" I asked them.

"Yup."

"You're all wearing shoes?"

"Yup."

"You've all been to the bathroom?"

"Yup."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Wait a sec," said Mary Anne. "Where's Vanessa?"

"In our room. She's still getting dressed, I think," said Mallory.

I ran upstairs to the pink bedroom. Vanessa was slowly getting herself ready. Sometimes I think that if Vanessa ever had to race the tortoise, she'd lose.

"Ready?" I asked her.

"Almost."

"Everyone's waiting."

"I know, I know," she said frantically. "I just can't go. My feet are moving much too slow."

I laughed. "Come on, slowpoke." I tied her shoelaces and hair ribbons and she was ready.

We set off for Burger Garden, Mary Anne and Mallory leading the way; the triplets, Claire, Margo, and Nicky in the middle; and Vanessa and me bringing up the rear.

Considering the appealing places we passed on the way — Candy Heaven, souvenir stands, the Ice-Cream Palace — we reached Burger Garden in pretty good time. The Pikes' excitement had been building with every step we took. As we approached the entrance, an explosion of chatter burst from them.

"We sit at mushrooms to eat!"

"Crazy Burgers have orange sauce on them 'cause the ketchup and mustard's already mixed together!"

"I want to ride the merry-go-round!"

"It's delightful, let's all blab it. The burgers here are served by a rabbit!"

"Last year there was a coloring contest and I won two Crazy Burgers and a Fantasy Fountain Soda!"

Mary Anne and I looked around. Burger Garden consisted of a very informal indoor restaurant where you could sit at either tables or a long counter with high stools, and an outdoor garden. Despite all the kids spinning happily on the stools, the garden was obviously the more fun place to eat.

The Pikes headed for it immediately.

"I wanna sit by the merry-go-round!" cried Claire.

"Shh," I said. "We'll sit wherever we're seated. And we'll probably need three tables."

"There are some empty mushrooms over by the Enchanted Tree," said a large mouse. The mouse was holding menus in her paws. "This way, please."

"Well, this is a first," whispered Mary Anne. "In fact, it's been a week of firsts. My first bikini, my first trip away from home, my first time at the Jersey Shore. And now, my first meal ever served by an animal."

I giggled. "Or eaten on a mushroom."

"By the Enchanted Tree, whatever that is," she added.

The mushrooms were sort of small, so we did need three. Claire and Margo ran to one and Vanessa sat down by herself. Then the triplets bunched up at the third mushroom. Nicky ran over to them.

"Go sit with Vanessa," Adam told Nicky.

"No, I want to sit with you."

"Us triplets are sitting alone," said Jordan.

"No, you're not, because I'm sitting with you," I said.

"No way!" cried Adam.

"Where will I sit?" exclaimed Nicky, downcast. "I'm not sitting with girls."

"Sit with us Nicky-silly-billy-goo-goo," said Claire.

"You're girls," said Nicky disparagingly.

Vanessa was still at a table by herself. "Hey, what's the matter, what's the fuss, sit with me, I'll — "

"NO!" cried every single one of her brothers and sisters.

"We don't want to eat with Elizabeth Barrett Browning," said Mallory.

"Who's Elizabeth Barrett Browning?" asked Nicky.

"A poet."

"A very good one," Mary Anne pointed out.

"Well, anyway, we don't want to — " Nicky began.

"Look," I broke in suddenly, "a six-foot mouse has been waiting about five minutes for us to sit down. If you guys don't find places, we're never going to eat."

Everyone dove for the mushrooms. Against my better judgment, I let the triplets sit alone. Mary Anne sat down with Claire and Margo, and I joined Nicky, Vanessa, and Mallory. Before he allowed us to open our menus, Nicky made Vanessa promise not to rhyme a single word during the meal.

"Are you happy now?" I asked him.

"Yup."

We opened the menus and took a look. It's a good thing I like hamburgers because, except for hotdogs and chili, the only main dishes on the menu were burgers. Twenty different varieties.

After a few moments, a large rabbit stepped up to us. "Hi, I'm Bugs," he said. "Any questions about the menu?"

"Whaf s the Surprise Burger today?" I asked.

"That would be the burger with tofu and avocado."

Vanessa nearly choked.

She and Nicky and Mallory and I ordered Crazy Burgers — burgers with bacon, Swiss cheese, pickles, and the orange sauce.

When Bugs moved on to the triplets, Nicky turned to me and said conversationally, "So one day this matta-baby comes up to me — "

"What's a matta-baby?" I interrupted.

"Nothing," replied Nicky. "Whatsa matta with you?" He pounded the table with glee.

Mallory rolled her eyes.

"Can I go see what the Enchanted Tree is?" asked Vanessa.

"Sure," I told her.

"If s — if s — you won't believe it!" she cried a few minutes later. She was running back to

our mushroom. "It's just like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! That tree is growing chocolate bars!"

"Really?" asked Nicky, amazed.

"No, stupid. They're just hanging all over it. And they cost twenty-five cents apiece and so you buy one and if it has a gold wrapper inside you win a prize just like Charlie Bucket did only it's for Burger Garden food not the chocolate factory and I didn't rhyme a single word, Nicholas. So there."

Bugs came* back and served us our drinks. At the next mushroom, the triplets shot their straw papers at each other.

"Well," I said loudly, turning to Mary Anne, "I guess I'll go sit with the triplets."

"No, no!" said Byron hastily. "We'll stop. Really."

And they did.

All the Pikes behaved themselves. When the food was served, they scarfed it up without messes or squabbles. Later, after Mary Anne and I had seen what the bill came to, we let each kid buy a candy bar from the Enchanted Tree. Nicky got a gold wrapper! It turned out to be worth four free Burger Garden dinners. Suddenly the triplets were his best friends.

Mary Anne and I counted the remaining money and debated how to spend the rest of

the evening. We decided to go to the boardwalk for a while and then back to the Ice-Cream Palace before heading home.

On the boardwalk, we gave each kid a dollar to spend, all we thought we could afford, not knowing how expensive the Palace might be. The kids planned and planned, each wanting to get the best and the most for his or her money. The only thing we said they couldn't do was go on fast rides. I was not about to watch anybody throw up a Crazy Burger.

An hour later, Byron had ridden the Ferris wheel twice; Vanessa had bought a little pink deer from the glass blower; Claire, Nicky, and Margo had tried the bumper cars; Mallory had bought a frog made out of seashells; and Jordan and Adam had been through the haunted house, and were mad at Byron, who had refused to go with them.

We arrived at the Ice-Cream Palace feeling ready to sit down for a while.

"Okay," I said, "I'm not going to have any ice cream, so that means there's about three dollars for each of you." I was eyeing the menu. The Palace looked expensive.

"More than three," spoke up Mary Anne. "I — I don't think I'll have any, either."

"What's wrong?" I asked warily. "You look kind of funny."

"I don't know. I feel sort of hot all over."

"Your face is awfully red," I said.

"My skin feels stiff."

"Your skin feels — Just a second. Hold out your arms."

Mary Anne obliged.

I pressed her skin with my finger. A white spot appeared where my finger had been. It slowly turned bright pink — like the rest of her skin. "You're sunburned!" I exclaimed. "Eat some ice cream. It'll probably cool you off."

We had enough money for everyone to have what he or she wanted, with two dollars and thirty-one cents left over.

We got back to the beach house shortly after nine. Mr. and Mrs. Pike were still out.

"You are so sunburned!" Mallory exclaimed to Mary Anne.

"Oh, I know. Don't remind me."

Mary Anne flopped down on her bed. She lay on her back with her arms stretched out, while I looked on helplessly. "What did I do to deserve this?" she moaned.

She'd been lying there for about ten minutes while the kids were supposed to be getting ready for bed, when a voice said, "Mary Anne? I brought you something."

"We all did," said another voice.

Standing in the doorway were the Pike kids, each in pajamas, each holding something out to Mary Anne.

"It's for your sunburn," said Margo. "I brought you Noxema."

"I brought you Solarcaine," said Byron.

"An ice pack," said Jordan.

"Cold compresses," said Adam.

"Mom's aloe creme," said Vanessa.

"A fan," said Nicky. "To cool off."

"Teabags for your eyelids," said Mallory. "They really work."

"Butter," said Claire, offering Mary Anne a tub of margarine.

"Butter is for real burns, not sunburns!" screeched Nicky. He grabbed for his little sister, but Claire twisted away and fled to Mary Anne. Nicky followed. So did everyone else. They ended up on Mary Anne's bed in a giggly heap — margarine, ice, and all. I joined them.

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life.

Chapter 7.

On Tuesday, the weather was pretty. The beach looked like a postcard. Mary Anne and I took the kids out early, even before Scott was on duty. The air was cool, the sky was crystal clear with one or two fluffy white clouds that looked sort of like sheep, and the sun was all sparkly, but not hazy and blazy the way it would get during the afternoon.

Mary Anne came to the beach that morning wearing a long-sleeved caftan and a Boston Red Sox cap that Adam had lent her. She looked pretty weird — even weirder after she gooped on Noskote and lipcoat, then put on her sunglasses. As an added precaution, she sat under the umbrella. I didn't say anything. I knew she felt hot and uncomfortable.

The second the lifeguards showed up, the kids (except for Byron, of course) dashed into the water. I sauntered after them, supposedly to keep an eye on them, but really as an excuse to say hello to Scott. He greeted me with, "Hey there, princess."

I thought I might pass out.

"Hi," I said. "Was yesterday your day off?"

"Sure was. I used it well, too."

I added that bit of information — Monday is Scott's day off — to my mental list of things I knew about him. I wished the list were longer.

Then I leaned casually against the lifeguard stand, almost as if I was posing. I glanced across the beach to see if Mary Anne was watching. But she was busy. Claire, Margo, and Vanessa, already dripping wet, were crowded around her, asking her to help them with something. And to my surprise, the guy mother's helper was leaning over behind Mary Anne, giving her a hand.

I didn't have time to think about that, though. Right then, things started happening pretty quickly.

First, a couple of the other girls showed up. "Hi, Scott," they said.

"Do you kids know Stacey McGill?" he asked.

Kids! He had called them kids! He must have thought I acted older than they did!

That was all the girls needed to hear. Scowling, they edged around to the other side of the lifeguard stand. "Hi, Bruce," said one, -giggling.

"Hey, beautiful," replied Bruce.

More giggling.

I had Scott to myself again.

I looked back at our towels. Mary Anne was alone.

I was just about to check around for Claire and Margo when it happened.

"SHARK!" yelled a terrified voice from out in the waves.

In one second, Scott and Bruce were on their feet, binoculars to their eyes. Then they put the binoculars down, glanced at each other, nodded, and began whistling people in.

FWEEEET! "Everybody in! Everybody in!"

FWEEEET! "Outta the water!"

Then Scott blew three short fweets and signaled to the guards down the beach, while Bruce signaled to the ones up the beach.

I've never seen people move so fast. Those in the ocean staggered out. Those on the beach ran to the water's edge. Frantically, I tried to round up the Pikes. I gathered Byron, Jordan, Nicky, and Vanessa in a matter of seconds.

"Mary Anne!" I yelled, spotting her caftan and baseball cap. "Where are the rest of the kids? We have to make sure they haven't . . . I mean — "I didn't want to say, Haven't been eaten alive by some relative of Jaws.

"I've got Claire and Adam."

"Oh, no! We're missing Mallory and Margo!"

"No, you're not. Here we are," said Mallory, running up to me, pulling Margo along.

"Oh, thank goodness."

Mary Anne and I counted the Pikes about five times before we were satisfied that they were all safe and sound.

"I want to see the shark!" cried Nicky, jumping up and down.

So did I. "Okay," I said. "Lef s walk down the beach, away from this crowd."

Mary Anne and the other kids followed us. When we had a little space, we held our hands to our eyes, blocking the glare of the sun, and stared out to sea.

"I think I see something!" exclaimed Byron.

"Where?" we all asked.

He pointed. "See? Sort of over to the left?"

I could make out a faraway shape, but it looked like a sea gull bobbing on the waves.

Later, Adam swore he could see five fins circling around, but nobody else saw them. At last we gave up. We walked back to the lifeguard stand.