“She’s lost a lot of blood,” Jake said, his voice calm as he pulled on his jeans and dragged a shirt over his head. “I’ve put pressure bandages on the wounds on her sides, but she’d already lost so much.”
Catarina’s eyes were closed. Eli bent his head to her. “Look at me, Kitten. I want to see your eyes.” He used his commanding voice, the one that always made her shiver. The one she obeyed without question.
Her lashes fluttered and lifted. His heart tripped. Tight knots formed in his gut. She was fading away from him. Instinctively his hands tightened on her, holding her to him. He bent his head, his eyes drilling into hers.
“You will not leave me. You understand, Catarina. You will not leave me. I need to know you understand.” His tone was implacable. He wouldn’t lose her. He didn’t allow fear into his voice, but it was there, deep inside, eating him up. He could barely breathe with terror edging his mind. “Say it. Say it to me right now.”
Her lashes fluttered, but she didn’t look away from him. Her gaze clung to his as if he was her anchor, and he intended to be. He knew leopards who had shared a past could eventually be so close they were psychically connected. He pressed into her mind. Used his male shamelessly to press into her female’s mind. He had to find a way to keep her with him, keep an unbreakable thread between them.
He heard the helicopter now, the
whop-whop
of the blades as it cruised through the air to get to them. Jake was on the radio giving orders. None of it mattered. She hadn’t answered him.
“Catarina, you fucking promise me right now. You won’t leave me.”
She gave him the faintest of smiles and it broke his heart. Her tongue touched her lips. Clearly just moving hurt, but for him, she reached for her voice. “Can I promise that?”
“You can.” He was adamant. Demanding. Arrogant even. “If you give me your word, I know you’ll keep it.”
The helicopter was down, and Eli cradled her as close as possible to keep from jarring her as he ran with her through the clearing to the open field. Her teeth came together and he could see the pain in her eyes, but she didn’t cry out again. She was limp, a rag doll, not holding herself at all, her arms and legs clearly lead, all strength gone.
He pushed down fear as Jake climbed into the helicopter and held out his arms for her. Eli shook his head and made the leap, landing in a crouch, Catarina against his chest. Eli couldn’t take the chance of losing contact with her.
Almost before he was seated, the helicopter was in the air, turning in a wide circle back toward town and the hospital. Jake was on the radio, calling ahead for an operating room and doctors he trusted.
“I know it hurts like fucking hell, Kitten,” Eli whispered, his head bent to hers, his mouth against her ear. “I know you’re suffering and it feels easier to let go. I’m asking you not to. I’m telling you I need you. For me. You have to live, do you hear me, baby? I need you. I don’t want to do this without you.”
He didn’t give a damn if he was baring his soul to her. Hell, it was the raw truth. He
couldn’t
live without her. He hadn’t been alive until she came into his world. Her laughter had brought him to life. Damn her, she wasn’t going to leave him alone now that she was wrapped so tightly around his heart.
She moistened her lips again.
I
hear
you,
Eli,
she whispered. Or did she whisper it? Did he hear her soft whisper in his mind? Had he managed to find a way to connect them? If so, he wanted to grab hold with both fists and hold her so close there was no way for her to slip away.
The helicopter landed on the pad on the roof of the hospital. The gurney was waiting, just as Jake had instructed. Eli was reluctant to place her body on it, knowing they would take her from him, but he had no choice. He ran with the gurney, his hand hard around hers, his eyes on hers, demanding. Forcing her compliance.
She kept her eyes open, but there was so much pain he felt sick. She was so cold he felt her slipping away. Her pulse beneath his seeking fingers was thready and weak.
Don’t
leave
me,
baby.
Stay
for
me.
I
need
you.
Need
you
so
much.
She was gone. They took her through double doors, forcing him to stay back. He felt her slip away from him. Felt the breath leave her body. Felt the moment her heart stopped beating and the pulse went quiet in her body. He
felt
her leave him. He knew he wasn’t making it up when he heard the voices shouting instructions, all a calm, but frantic fight for her life. He almost lost it, shoving at the two men who stepped in front of him, but Jake was there, one restraining hand on his arm.
“Let them do their job, Eli,” Jake advised. “Both surgeons and their team are well aware of what she is.”
“She’s pregnant. I know she is. I didn’t tell them.” Eli shoved both hands through his hair in agitation. “Maybe a month.”
Jake immediately approached one of the two men who had stopped Eli from entering the surgery rooms. The man turned and rushed through the double doors.
“They’ll take care of it,” Jake assured again.
He’d been there with Emma. The same waiting room. He remembered standing in front of the window, his world bleak and gray. Waiting to know. Waiting to hear if she was alive. He’d prayed for the first time in his life. He knew what Eli was feeling, a gut-wrenching sorrow. An agonizing fear. Terror that the one person who made up his world could be taken from him.
Eli was grateful Jake was there, but he couldn’t talk. He needed quiet. He needed to find the invisible thread that he’d made psychically with Catarina. No one had come to tell him she was dead, so they had to have got her breathing again. He would know if she tried to fade away again, and he would do everything in his power to stop her. She had to love him that much. Enough to endure whatever was necessary in order to stay with him.
He wouldn’t survive her loss. Not intact. It was impossible. She’d made her way into his heart. Snuck in when he wasn’t looking. It was impossible to be with her and not fall deeply, madly in love with her. But that hadn’t been enough. She’d taken his soul.
His throat felt shredded. Raw. Aching. He didn’t even know why. His eyes burned and his body ached, especially his chest. He glanced at his reflection. A man stood there. A stranger. His thick chest was streaked with blood. He wore no shoes, only a pair of soft blue jeans that set low on his hips. His hair was wild. His face was swollen from multiple cuts and bruises and his chest had rake marks down the heavy muscles. His eyes… his eyes had gone a dark gold, all sorrow. All fear.
He’d all but forgotten Cordeau and his lieutenants had tortured him before he’d gotten free. It didn’t matter now. The nurses and the one doctor who approached him fell back when he swept his cold gaze over them. He knew he scared others there in the small waiting room, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything but keeping Catarina alive.
He was in a cold sweat at the thought of losing her, his guts twisted with fear. He knew Jake hovered close, probably out of fear that if anything went wrong, the male leopard would take over in an effort to protect Eli. He couldn’t imagine what damage a grieving male leopard would do in the small hospital waiting room.
He felt his leopard close and it should have been a comfort, but all it did was make him feel more desolate, more alone. When had it happened? How? From the first moment he’d walked into the dojo and saw her working out, something inside of him, something that had always been closed off, shut down,
broken
, had suddenly come to life. She was that life. Her warmth. Her laughter. Her intelligence. The way she took care of him. The way she delighted in caring for him.
His hand gripped the window ledge until his knuckles turned white.
Don’t
fucking
take
her
from
me.
He didn’t even know who he was without her. He’d walked through his life, feeling no joy. No happiness. How could he ever go back?
There was a small commotion at the entrance to the waiting room and he turned his head. Emma entered. Jake’s face immediately became a mask of fury. Surrounding her in a solid shield were Joshua, Trey and Elijah. They had the look of bodyguards and the two people who had remained in the room fled.
Emma ignored Jake and went straight to Eli. He couldn’t swallow the sudden lump that rose in his throat. The sight of her pregnant body choked him. Maybe it was the compassion on her face. He gave her the death stare, the one that always kept everyone away from him, but she kept coming, ignoring his silent warning, just as she ignored Jake’s anger that she wasn’t at home where he expected her to be. Eli’s eyes burned and he turned his head back to stare into the window. He could still see her reflection in the glass, that beautiful face, reminding him exactly what he could lose.
“Eli, she’ll fight. That’s who she is.”
He shook his head, pressing his fingers to his burning eyes. “You didn’t see her, Emma. She was torn up. He’d beat her before the leopard got ahold of her. She’s so small. Vulnerable. I should have gotten to her faster.”
“Don’t.” She pressed her head against his side, heedless of the blood. Her fingers gently circled his forearm. “You don’t understand women. I do. She loves you with every breath in her body. She’ll fight for you. She isn’t weak and fragile. She’s strong. I listened to her when she told me about living in that house with him. No child should have survived such a nightmare, but she not only survived, she educated herself and she found a way to escape. That took courage, especially after the things Jake told me were done, killing a friend in front of her and convincing a young girl the blood was on her hands. Catarina is courageous. She’s a fighter. She doesn’t stop. You have to believe in her and trust her right now.”
He knew she was trying to help. And maybe it did help. He was grateful they had friends that would take the time to come and see how Catarina was doing. He forced himself to look down into Emma’s face, knowing she would see his anguish. His pain. The looming gut-wrenching sorrow. He was totally vulnerable in that moment – absolutely naked and he didn’t give a damn.
“I’m certain she’s pregnant. Not very far along, but…” He shoved his hand through his hair in agitation. “I don’t care so much for myself. Right now what matters is that she lives, but she’ll tear herself up thinking she should have done something more to protect our child.”
“Eli.” Emma’s voice was soft. “You know better than to do this. You can’t control what’s happening in that operating room, and you’re making yourself crazy. You and Jake think you can control every aspect of your environment, and you just can’t. Don’t think about things you don’t know will or won’t happen. Just send her strength. Send her your love.”
He didn’t answer her. She was right of course. He did want control of everything in his environment, especially Catarina. His parents had kissed him good-bye and left the house laughing. He’d stood at the window waving. They never came home and his life changed completely. It wasn’t that he’d been in bad homes. He just had been moved from home to home, and no one cared about him after that. He hadn’t cared after that. He wouldn’t allow himself to care. Until Catarina. She found her way into his heart, into his soul, and now he stood in a fucking waiting room because he hadn’t kept her safe enough.
The waiting seemed endless. Jake stalked across the room and tugged Emma away from him, putting her in a chair, and sliding a second one close so she could put her feet up. Joshua handed him a wet towel without saying a word. Eli used it, wincing as he wiped at the rake marks on his chest. The slashes were deep and yet he hadn’t noticed he was injured.
It was useless to put on the T-shirt they’d brought, not with blood seeping from the various wounds on his body. It didn’t matter to him. Nothing did. He kept his gaze on the double doors where they’d taken her. Waiting. His heart in his throat.
He heard the measured footfalls coming toward them from the hallway leading to the surgery rooms. His pulse thundered in his ears. He felt bile churning in his gut. Still, he didn’t move, every muscle locked in place. His leopard pushed close, too close to the surface. Beneath his skin the wave of fur sent an itch rushing through him. His eyes went cat, heat waves banding.
Every scent came to him, pouring off the doctor as he stepped through the doors. Her blood. Her scent. He didn’t go to the doctor. He couldn’t take a step, not without his cat forcing a shift to protect him.
“Mr. Perez?”
Eli nodded. That was all he could manage. The rest of his body was locked in place. Frozen with fear. Coiled and ready to strike.
“I’m Dr. Mulligan. Jake called me in to help with Catarina. She’s alive and she’s doing very well. The woman is a fighter.” There was satisfaction in his voice.
Eli’s entire body seemed to shut down. He was afraid he might actually collapse. The thunder in his ears roared louder and little jackhammers tripped against his skull. He forced his body under control because the doctor continued to speak and he needed to listen.
“There was a severe loss of blood. Broken ribs. She was battered, but she protected the baby. There wasn’t so much as a bruise on her stomach or abdomen. Her ribs, hips and back took the brunt of the attacks. We had no shortage of blood. Jake called it in fast, and Dr. Mason and I were set up for her. She’ll be sore and weak for a while, but she’s going to be fine.”
Eli glanced around the room. There were only shifters. “Her leopard?”
“I’m certain the leopard is okay as well. There were no signs that there was any damage, but of course we had no way of examining her cat.”
“Thank you.” He could barely get the words out. He glanced at Jake, who was holding Emma close to him. “Thank you both.” Dr. Mason had done the surgery on Drake, and Eli remembered him from that operation. He was grateful Jake had called both shifter doctors in to try to save Catarina.