Ed took his seat and grinned at Heather and Catherine without welcoming them.
“Ed, you remember Heather, and this is Catherine, our newest co-worker.”
“Hello.” He smiled, tipped his beer at them and glanced at Victoria. “Why’d they make me sit? I was in the middle of one of Ralph’s hilarious stories.”
Ralph worked in the same supermarket since high school. Same people, same jokes, which he told repeatedly. She knew them so well she could relay them herself.
Stephan pointed to Victoria, clinked on his glass with a knife and then announced the couple’s toast. Heather and Catherine retreated to their tables. The room hushed with an immediate blanket of silence.
Victoria stared at Ed. If he spoke first, she could change her speech last minute, but he continued to stare. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, she stood and raised her champagne glass.
“I would like to thank all of you for attending our huge celebration. Thirty years I’ve spent with Ed and we’ve survived longer than most marriages.” This already sounded horrible. She needed to shift gears.
“Most of you may know, Ed and I met in high school and married after he patiently waited for me to finished college, the internship and land my first job. We bought a humble house and Ed renovated it to the grand home we have now.” Why was she speaking about the house? This was supposed to be about them.
“We raised two beautiful children whom I couldn’t be more proud of.” Now she was talking about her kids. This was awful.
“Ed and I have crisscrossed through many obstacles but have come through it smiling and content.” Great, now she reverted to lying. “There are so many wonderful memories.” None that she can remember. “From working on the house together…” That was fun? “…to raising our children…” Which she mostly did. “…to all the glorious vacations…” The ones where he sat at the bar talking to the bartenders instead of spending time with her or their children.
Victoria’s stomach constricted. If it wasn’t for the wine, words would elude her. She rubbed the back of her neck and glanced down at the champagne. She took a gulp and surveyed the room with its guests.
A man in a chef’s uniform pointed to a server and then turned back to face Victoria. He leaned against the wall, hands clasped in front of him. His salt and pepper hair twinkled from the chandelier above, like icy frost on morning dew. He smiled at her and it melted her heart.
“Marriage is mutual understanding, teamwork, and communication. It’s about supporting each other, even when you’re down. Encouraging each other to be the best you can be, even if life’s not going so great for you. Long conversations on the sofa, laughing at the silliest of things, little tokens of love, surprises just because, and sentiments whispered in your ear. Wrapping an arm around you when you sleep, calling to say I love you, telling you how wonderful you are, all because you want to. You can’t help not to. You never want to be apart and can see it will be this way forever.” An enormous lump formed in Victoria’s throat. She wished she could blame the meatball.
Heather stood, then held her glass up high. Eyes focused on Heather, directing away from Victoria and her certain collapse.
She sacked the rest of her speech, downed the champagne and took her seat beside Ed before she said too much. The chair legs scraped the wood floor beneath her, she adjusted her dress and smiled at Ed. Hopefully he would salvage her abrupt conclusion.
“Cheers,” he said. His beer mug banged her delicate glass, threatening to shatter it. “When’s dinner coming? We’ve been here almost two hours. I can’t eat those tiny quiche things.”
Victoria squeezed her champagne glass so hard she expected to see blood coating her fingers. Her ears pounded as boiling liquid pulsed through them.
Ed wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “Can I remove this tie now? It’s killing me.”
Their meals arrived and she ate her beef tenderloin remembering the last occasion she had it. The company far better then, the conversation, existent.
Ed scarfed down his meal, rose and sat in a vacant seat next to Kenny and Ralph. Victoria finished her meal alone, in front of forty guests that examined her like an animal behind a cage.
Rori strutted over to her wearing a black and hot pink sweater dress. She donned a black sequin cap and a pair of pink Converse high tops. Rori handed her a card and Victoria bent down and kissed her on the forehead. “You’re so much like your mommy, you know that?”
Rori tilted her head, eyes squinted. “Nope. I’m Rori. I’m gonna be five in December.”
“I know, I remember when you were born. You’re mommy was so happy. You were a blessing.”
“No, I was a girl.” Rori skipped off back to her table.
The guests bolted for the door after the cake. Victoria gave her hugs and kisses and handed the departing children goodie bags filled with toys. Heather, Catherine and their six, stayed behind.
She thanked Stephan for the remarkable job, then congratulated the chef and waiters on the fabulous food and service. She snatched the last of the goodie-bags and headed toward her co-worker’s table.
A harsh tapping struck her shoulder. “Hey, I’m splitting,” Ed said. “Gonna hit the bar up the road with Ralph and the boys and have a few beers. Andrew said he would take you home.”
For the first time all night, all week, all month, Victoria heave a sigh of relief. A slow smile emerged, a giggle and then she smacked Ed on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. Not at all. Go out with your friends, have fun, tell Andrew I’ll catch a ride with Heather.”
“All right, see you back at home.” He hiked his denim jacket over the dress shirt, the tie scrunched into a ball in his hand, and strolled out with the boys. No kiss, no gift, no card, and not even a thank you.
Victoria froze amid a room of empty tables. The music switched off. Silent, but for the first time, not alone. After thanking Andrew and Sara for all their help and support, she joined her friends at the table.
“Hey guys, I have goodie-bags for all of you. Age appropriate.” She winked at Laurel and Bentley. The six of them ran off with their entertainment and Victoria sat with her friends for the first time all night.
“How are you?” Catherine asked.
“I think I’m really quite well. Going to be alright.” Victoria’s hands trembled around the cloth napkin she clutched. “I don’t want to spoil the evening though, we’ll talk next week. Plus I’m sure the kids want to leave.”
“Don’t be silly. Those activities will keep them busy for at least a half hour.” Heather waved her away. “I’m sorry, I hope you didn’t have to pay for Lance. We had a huge fight yesterday and I told him not to come.” Heather filled her in on the past twenty-four hours.
“Now I’m the one that’s sorry. What will you do?”
“I’ve been a coward for too long, always with an excuse why the time isn’t right. There’s never going to be a good time.”
Catherine placed a hand on Heather’s shoulder. “You’re the bravest person I know, you don’t even falter when Jean flips out.”
“Jean’s easy, this isn’t”
“Why?”
“I’m a different person now. Jean came into my life after raising three daughters, nothing frightens me anymore. Lance entered my life when I was seventeen. Too many demons holding me back.”
“But you’re sarcastic and stand up to him.”
“Making rude remarks is not the same as dealing with a situation. Plus the two of you were in love with your husbands when you walked down that aisle. I knew it was wrong the day he proposed.”
Emily and Rori held hands and danced in a circle. The two girls blew their fake bugles and dragged themselves around the room in clumsy figure eights.
“What happened with Peter? Still not talking since Halloween?” Victoria asked.
“No, I refuse to speak to him. He tried to talk to me today when I got home from work but I ignored him. He said he didn’t want to go to the party if I wouldn’t speak to him.”
“What are you going to do? Victoria asked.
Catherine turned toward Heather with a crumpled smile and rubbed her forehead.
“Tell her,” Heather said.
Catherine told Victoria the full story of the night in Mangle’s kitchen, the morning before Jean’s Monday meeting, how Mangle avoided her for over a week and the finale with Dr. Feldman.
Victoria wrinkled her nose and recoiled as if she just ate another Asian meatball. “Mangle makes me sick, but Feldman? That man’s been there since before I started and he wasn’t much to look at fifteen years ago. He’s a dinosaur. Luckily he’s half retired and doesn’t come to the hospital that often.”
“I actually believed Mangle would be better for me than Peter. So brainwashed. You guys were right, I should have listened, I’m so sorry. Not sure how I even got into this mess.”
“That would be my fault.” Heather raised her hand.
Catherine chuckled. “I’m a big girl, Heather. I made a mistake, you even warned me so please don’t blame yourself. I’m actually grateful that Feldman approached me. If he didn’t I hate to think what nightmare would have occurred tomorrow.”
“Too bad you can’t get revenge,” Heather said.
“Oh, I will.” The other two tilted their heads to try to understand. “It’s called karma. Tomorrow at noon, when the two of them sit there staring at each other in Mangle’s home, with their toys and strategies and hard-ons, I won’t be there. Mangle will look like a fool, Feldman will go back home to jerk off, and in the end, I’ll win. I’m even going to say I planned the whole thing. Tell him he didn’t deserve me.”
Victoria laughed. “Can’t you report him?”
“And say what? I cheated on my husband, fulfilled a high prestige doctor’s fantasies for three months and then when he wanted to invite a friend and some toys, I got upset? Please they’ll laugh at me and then find a way to fire me.” She took a sip of water and then choked on it. “Imagine if human resources told Jean, oh Lord, what would she do to me?”
The three of them burst into hysterics.
“Ugh,” Heather gagged. “I just pictured Jean having a threesome with Mangle and Feldman. There’s something seriously wrong with me.”
“Yes, there is,” Victoria said. “You’re imaginative, fun, creative and the best friend anyone could ever have.” She held up a glass of water. “Here’s to a great group of gals, a better coming year, and one filled with more laughs than tears. An auspicious one.”
“Word of the day?” Heather grinned.
“Yup.”
Chapter 49
Heather
Heather spent her Friday off opening a new bank account at a nearby bank. She removed half their savings and placed it into the new account. She would have her direct deposit check forwarded there as well.
She obtained a free consultation from a lawyer and used a dozen or more tissues while disclosing her story. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she said. “You’re told you’ll meet the perfect man, buy that beautiful home, raise your children together and then retire out east in a tiny home with a huge front porch.”
Her lawyer grinned but evidentially heard this same pathetic story a thousand times. He exhaled, a thoughtful expression filled his face. He nodded throughout her story, leaned in and listened intently.
“Heather, this will be difficult, perhaps the most taxing decision in your life. It will test your strength and be demanding on your resolve. The only way to get through this is to become mechanical, robotic. If you still have feelings then maybe this is not the right decision.”
“But I’m a compassionate person, of course I have feelings.”
“If you let yourself.” He fell back into his chair and folded his arms in his chest. “Are you only staying with him because you feel bad? And bad for whom? Yourself? Him? The children? You need to decide if you’ll come out a better person in the end. Have you only kept the marriage together to benefit him? Are you afraid to be classified as divorced? Are the children suffering in any way from the two of you staying together? There are many questions you need to ask yourself.”
Hollowness filled her chest. Her pulse slowed as did the spinning world around her. “I can’t picture my future anymore, only escaping fills my thoughts. I cringe when he’s home, happy when he works late. I used to be upset when he didn’t spend the weekend with the girls and me, but now I enjoy it. I’m nasty to others at times, negative, wanting only the pain to end.”
“Then what makes you so upset?”
“I think only that…” she paused. Her unfocused gaze relaxed her body. She lowered her voice. “That, for the first time in my life I’m facing it. I’m finally speaking up and doing something about it. I’m fearful but at least the pain will go away. It won’t be like the eternal Hell I’m in now, only temporary pain, right?”
He chuckled. “That, Heather, will be entirely up to you. Figure out what you want, picture your future with and without him, what will make you happy and what will be best for your girls. I can’t answer that, I can only guide you.”
Heather spent her last few hours before the kids arrived home from school at the gym. She took her favorite turbo kick-boxing class, tuned out the techno music and the high-energy chants of the instructor, and concentrated on her future.
The bass beat pumped heavy on her chest, blood pulsed. Sweat dripped down her brow and covered her chest. She swiped the coating of moisture from her abs and flung it behind her. She pictured the girls and her on a Disney vacation, splashing in the pool, the bright sun above them.
She sucked in air through her gaping mouth and huffed as sweat trickled onto her lips. With each overhead strike, she clawed at her Hell. Freedom. She wanted out. Her knees kicked high, higher. With each kick, she toppled the walls in front of her. Sweat covered her arms and dispersed with each grasp for the ceiling.
Visions of Lance cooking and doing his own laundry fueled her. Images of his mother doing the laundry at her house incensed her to the point her grunts resounded throughout the room. Louder she roared. A man in his thirties, his grey tank top now dark with perspiration, studied her. She smiled at him while pounding her feet on the hardwood floor.
Heather’s hair escaped her ponytail, beads of water on the tips sprayed and misted sweaty-guy. Heather panted, then chuckled. Thoughts of Lance trying to pick up the girls for the weekend in his Corvette caused her to miss the beat, punch instead of kick, and she had to stop. She bounced over to her water bottle on the far corner and sweaty-guy watched her in the mirror. Didn’t he realize she could see him? Heather smiled again, held up her water bottle to him and then chugged the contents.