Choosing Happy (Madison Square #2) (16 page)

“Holy shit!”

“My thoughts exactly. He said it was the biggest mistake of his life and would do anything to get me back.”

“What did you say?” Liam asked, pouring me another drink.

I dumped the amber liquid down my throat. It mixed with the scotch from earlier, creating this wonderful numbing sensation all over my body.

“I didn’t say anything. I just got up and tossed my drink in his face.”

Liam burst into a fit of laughter. “That’s my girl!” he shouted. The few people in the bar turned around to look at us, and I felt my cheeks begin to heat. I pushed the glass back at Liam, and he quickly refilled it, handing it back to me. I tossed back the drink, squinting and shaking my head as it burned its way toward my stomach.

“What did his parents think of that?” Liam asked.

“I didn’t stay long enough to really find out, but I did catch a glimpse of pride in Big Jim’s eyes when I did it,” I said with a half-smile. “I can’t believe he thought that after everything he put me through, I would just take him back with open arms.”

“He always was a bit delusional. Besides, Maddie, you don’t need him. You’re doing great.” I rolled my head to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “Well, maybe not right this second, but you have been doing better since the divorce. You got a new look, you’re kicking ass at work. I mean, you told Mama to go to hell!”

I saw where he was going with this, but he didn’t know about Sean or my fight with Margot, so his opinion was a little skewed.

I was feeling a major buzz and I was in no condition to drive tonight, so I slid my keys across the bar to Liam along with some cash for the drinks.

“I’m gonna get a cab home,” I said, getting up from the bar stool, swaying a bit as I made my way to the door.

Liam came out a second later and flagged a cab for me, giving the driver the address and helping me into the back seat. Liam shut the door and thumped the roof of the taxi.

I didn’t want to go home. I was more than a little drunk and feeling like complete hell. I just wanted to feel better, and only one thing came to mind.

I sat up in the seat. “Excuse me,” I said. “Take me to fifty-second and Belvidere instead.”

Chapter 14

Sean

The intercom buzzed, and I set my beer on the coffee table to see who it was. I wasn’t expecting anyone. It was probably a delivery guy hitting the wrong button.

“Yeah,” I said, pushing the button to speak.

“It’s me. Can I come up?”

Even through the static of the intercom, I recognized her voice. “Madison?”

“Yes.” I stepped back from the intercom, staring at the button, trying to decide what to do. It was late, and I knew she hadn’t come to chat. I should have just told her no and gone on trying to get past her, but she was like an addiction. That shy smile and her quiet strength made my heart heavy with want.

I leaned my head against the wall beside the intercom and sighed, leaning on the button to let her in. I knew I was going to end up regretting the decision, but I wanted, no I needed, to see her, even if it was only for the night.

I turned and surveyed my apartment, searching for discarded boxers or socks. I was shirtless and barefoot in a pair of basketball shorts, so I ducked into my room to grab a shirt. I found one at the end of the bed and sniffed it to determine its freshness as a knock sounded on the door.

I pulled the shirt over my head as I went and opened the door. She stood in the doorway, watching as I tugged the shirt the rest of the way down. She trapped her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes roamed over my body, from my messy hair to bare feet.

I looked like shit after days of no sleep and just missing her, but she didn’t seem to notice. The look in her eyes said she was here for one thing and one thing only. Fuck, this was going to be a long night.

She took a step and stumbled forward into the apartment. I reached out to catch her and caught of whiff of alcohol on her breath. Wonderful. She giggled and straightened, pulling at her skirt and smoothing down her hair, a lazy smile spread across her face. Fuck me, I didn’t need this right now.

I released her, my hands hovering at her hips for a moment to be sure she wasn’t going to fall again. I straightened and scratched at the back of my head, stalling until I could come up with something to say besides begging her to give me a real chance.

Her eyes dipped to where my shirt had ridden up a bit then lowered to my crotch. My dick twitched and I flinched, trying my best not to groan. I wanted her, fuck me did I want her, but Madison was already buried so far under my skin that I was in serious danger of losing my mind.

We wanted very different things for each other, and the only way I could get through this without doing more damage was to make a clean break. So no matter how much I wanted her, I needed to resist.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

Her eyes snapped up and locked with mine. “I…I wanted to see you.”

She took a step toward me and placed her hand in the center of my chest, her fingers trailing down my stomach slightly as she smiled that shy smile that completely undid me every single time. God dammit! My jaw tensed, and I fisted my hands at my sides to keep from touching her.

She looked at me, her eyes so soft and sad as they searched mine. It took every ounce of my willpower to keep from just going for the kiss she so obviously wanted. If I gave in and kissed her, it would be all over. She’d end up bent over the arm of my couch in a matter of seconds.

I kept completely still, refusing to move an inch. She continued to watch me for a moment longer before stepping to the side and heading toward the couch. I exhaled a sigh of relief and dropped my head before following her into the living room.

“Do you want something?” I asked, heading to the kitchen. I needed a task, something to do that didn’t involve being close to her.

“I’ll take a glass of wine if you have it,” she said, setting her bag beside the couch and dropping heavily onto the seat.

“I think you’ve had enough,” I said, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and a couple of aspirin from the cabinet. Everything about this woman drove me completely crazy, her touch, the softness of her skin, the sweet floral scent of her perfume that lingered after she’d gone.

Nothing had ever felt as good as seeing a smile on her lips and knowing that I was the one who put it there. She put on a front for the rest of the world, with her polite smile and appropriate laugh, but it’s not real. It’s like she was trained—behave a certain way, make the right kind of decisions—but when she’s with me, all the bullshit melts away. Her eyes sparkle when she laughs, her smile is full, genuine, almost involuntary. The sadness in her eyes fades, even if it only for a moment.

I headed into the living room to join her. “Take this,” I said, handing her the aspirin and the water. “You’ll thank me later.”

She smiled up at me, swallowing the pills with a large gulp of water.

I sat down beside her on the couch, trying to keep a bit of distance between us still. “You want to tell me why you’re here?”

“I told you,” she said, sliding a little closer, her hand moving to my knee and her fingers trailing heat up my thigh. “I wanted to see you,” she cooed, pressing her breast against my arm as she continued to slide her hand up my leg.

My cock was already painfully hard and straining against my shorts, a fact she was already well aware of, since she couldn’t take her eyes off my crotch. “Come on, Madison,” I said. “This is a booty call, admit it.”

“So?” she whispered, pressing her lips against the side of my neck. A groan slipped from my throat as her tongue flicked against the hot skin of my throat.

I swallowed thickly and squeezed my hands together tightly at my sides. If I touched her, it would be all over.

She gripped my chin and turned my head to face her. My eyes locked with hers. Sadness mixed with want and whiskey was all I saw, and my heart clenched inside my chest. I searched her face, trying to make a decision.

“This isn’t a good idea,” I said. Our lips were mere inches apart. I seemed to be having trouble breathing as my eyes dipped to the soft, pink fullness of her bottom lip. I was desperate to taste her again, to feel those soft lips and warm tongue moving against mine, but it was a bad idea, a really, really bad idea.

She leaned forward and brushed her lips softly against mine. I stayed completely still, afraid to move, or breathe, or think. She kissed me again, pulling at my bottom lip and sliding her hands up to my neck.

She ran her tongue along the seam of my lips as a soft whimper escaped her lips, and I broke. I wrapped my arms around her waist and thrust my tongue into her mouth, kissing her hard and dragging her into my lap.

My head was screaming
Danger! Danger!
I didn’t give a shit. I kissed her with everything I had. I wanted to wipe away the sadness and the desperation I saw in her eyes. I knew that there was a good possibility that tomorrow she would rip my heart from my chest, but none of that mattered right now.

She straddled my lap, grinding herself against my throbbing cock as my fingers dug into the delicate skin of her hips.

I broke the kiss, my lips traveling down her neck as she panted and moaned against my ear. I reached for her shirt, doing my best to undo the tiny buttons that were keeping me from her soft smooth skin, but they weren’t cooperating. Frustrated I gripped the thin fabric in my hands and pulled, tearing it from her chest as buttons scattered across the living room.

She cried out as I kissed my way across her breasts, frantically pulling her arms free from her ruined shirt. I flung it somewhere behind her.

My lips traveled up her neck again as her fingers tangled into my hair. “Tell me what you want,” I whispered, pulling her earlobe between my teeth.

She gasped. “You, Sean. I want you.”

“What do you want me to do?” I asked, nipping at her lips and pulling her tight against my chest. “Tell me, baby.”

“Make me happy,” she moaned against my mouth, grinding her hips against mine. “Just make me happy.”

I froze. Her words were like a bucket of ice cold water thrown right in my face. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t. I pulled away, my brows drawn tight together, my eyes locked on hers. She leaned forward, pressing her lips against mine and grinding her hips in search of friction.

I tightened my grip, holding her in place, and pulled away. “We can’t do this,” I said, lifting her from my lap. I got to my feet. I walked to the window and took a few deep breaths, trying to get a hold of myself. Fuck this. This was just…wrong.

“Of course we can,” she said, trying to pull me back down to the couch, but I tugged out of her grip. I wanted nothing more than the chance to make her happy, but the truth was there was nothing I could ever do to
make
her happy. She had to choose it for herself. She had to choose to let me in, to let me get close to her.

I turned back to face her and almost dropped to my knees. She slumped against the couch, hugging herself as tears slid down her cheeks, refusing to look at me. I sat down next to her and wrapped her in my arms. She buried her face in my neck, and I laid my head against the top of hers, letting her sob in my chest as I held her.

We sat like that for a long time, me holding her as she sobbed. After a while, she pulled away slowly and looked up at me. Her eyes were red and swollen, snot dripped from her nose, and her make-up was smudged and streaked from her tears. She was beautiful. A complete mess, but a beautiful mess.

I smiled, and the corner of her lips turned up in response. There was no going back for me. I was falling hard. It didn’t make sense, and I was positive she would completely destroy me. I was totally and completely fucked.

She pulled further away, her eyes locking on the stain her tears had left on my shirt. Her shoulders sank in despair and her bottom lip wobbled slightly as more tears threatened to fall.

“Do you want to tell me the real reason you came over here tonight?” I asked. This was a chance to get her to open up, and I was not going to waste it.

“I told you I…”

I shook my head. “Madison, you’re drunk and you just spent the last twenty minutes literally crying on my shoulder. You came for more than just a quick fuck.” I brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “Talk to me,” I whispered.

She dropped her head in her hands, and the flood gates opened. She told me about the pressures from work, her fight with Margot, dinner with her ex…all of it came out in a jumbled mess of sobs.

When she was done I leaned back against the couch and exhaled a long breath. “Wow,” I said, exhausted from just listening to all that she was going through. I felt a small semblance of victory for getting her to open up, but it was killing me to see her so upset. I didn’t know how to handle all of it, how to help her.

She sat quietly, studying her fingers beside me, refusing to meet my eyes. I did the only thing I could think of at the moment. I got to my feet, her eyes following me as I stood, and I held my hand out to help her up from the couch. I held tight to her hand and led her through my bedroom and into the bathroom. I turned on the faucet, testing the water to be sure it was warm enough.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

I turned and stepped toward her, running my fingers over the smooth skin of her bare arms. Goosebumps rose up on her skin from my touch, and she sucked a quick breath through her teeth. I smiled, enjoying the way she was reacting.

I reached behind her, unhooked her bra, and slid the straps slowly down her shoulders. “You could use a bath,” I said.

Her face crumbled, and she nervously shifted her weight. I gripped her chin and raised her face to meet my eyes. “You need to relax.”

She opened her mouth to object, and I gave her a soft gentle kiss to stop her. “Let me take care of you, beautiful,” I whispered against her mouth. She nodded, and the fight disappeared from her eyes as she gave in and let me undress her.

When I was done, she stood there, naked, just creamy skin, impossibly long legs, and bright blue eyes that watched my every move. I leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her shoulder. She sighed, her body relaxing into my arms from that one little kiss.
She will ruin you
.

I took her hand and helped her step into the tub. As I turned off the faucet, she sank into the warm water. Once she was settled, I kissed her forehead and turned to leave her to soak.

She caught my hand, water sloshing around her from the quick movement. “Stay,” she whispered. Her eyes pleaded with me and I smiled, not really needing to be convinced.

I grabbed a towel from the shelf and dropped it on the cold, tile floor, taking a seat beside the tub. She relaxed, leaning back into the tub with a sigh.

We sat there quietly for a long time, the only sound our breathing and the sloshing of the water as she moved. I rested my arm on the side of the tub, my fingers trailing a lazy path through the water. I focused on the ripples of the water, anything to keep my mind off the fact that she was warm, wet, naked, and within arm’s reach.

My fingers grazed the smooth skin of her knee, and we both tensed. I sat up and looked around, trying to find something, anything, to keep my hands busy. I reached for the soap behind her and grabbed a wash cloth from under the sink. I squeezed the soap into the cloth and softly dragged it across her shoulders and down her back.