ClownFellas (14 page)

They regrouped with Jimmy and François along the way. The two of them were huddled behind a dumpster a block from where Vinnie left them. Bernie and Little Bozo didn't look each other in the eyes when they met. It seemed as if the freak didn't even recognize the clown. Most memories were lost or distorted once a person transformed into a Sideshow Freak. It was possible Bernie didn't remember how Jimmy had given him the Happy Juice, or even who Jimmy was.

“I know where there's a car nearby,” Bernie said.

“Does it run?”

“Yes, I've tried it. There should be enough gas. But you'll have to go quickly. There are others who live in the garage where it's parked.”

They followed him for five blocks until they reached the garage, only having to hide once when a mutant patrol crossed the railroad tracks.

“It's in there,” Bernie said, pointing at the garage with his spear. “Go quickly.”

“You're not coming?” Vinnie asked.

“If they see me helping you they'll kill me. Just open the garage door and the car will be there. The others are on the other side of the building. If you're fast they won't see you.”

Vinnie looked up at Bernie. His old friend had a drooping frown on his clown face. He was the most miserable-looking creature Blue Nose had ever seen.

“How have you been, Bernie?” Vinnie asked in a soft voice.

Bernie broke eye contact. “Just go.”

Vinnie wasn't ready to leave. “I never would have guessed that you'd have held on to your sanity like this. I figured your mind would have been gone, turning you into a wild animal, like the others. If I'd have known…”

Bernie put his lumpy white hand on his old friend's shoulder. “Don't, Vinnie. It's okay.”

“What has it been like for you living out here?”

“It's been a living hell. What do you think? Just get out of here while you still can.”

Bernie turned away.

“Thanks for helping us,” Vinnie said. “I'll never be able to repay you.”

When Vinnie turned to head toward the garage, he let his guard down. Just for a second. But it was long enough so that he didn't see it coming. Bernie spun around and plunged that jagged metal rod of his right into Jimmy Bozo's stomach.

“You already have repaid me, Vinnie,” Bernie said, laughing maniacally as Jimmy puked blood into the air. “You let me finally get my revenge on that worthless bastard.”

Jimmy fell to the street, grabbing at the pole sticking out of his guts.

“You son of a bitch, Bernie,” Vinnie said. “I trusted you.”

“I wasn't lying about the car,” Bernie said as he backed away. “Even though you let Jimmy do what he did to me I'll always consider you my friend.” Before he turned and ran away he said, “I'll see you in Hell, Jimmy!”

The cackling filled the streets as the freak with the clover in his hat fled the scene.

“Come on.” Vinnie pulled the metal rod out of Jimmy's belly and put pressure on the wound as he lifted him off the ground. “We need to get to a doctor fast.”

They went into the garage, hopped into the old Buick, and hauled ass out of The Sideshow. Once back in the civilized area of Little Bigtop, Vinnie sped through morning traffic, running red lights, and forcing pedestrians to jump out of the way.

“Where are you going?” Jean cried. “The hospital isn't in this direction.”

“We don't have time to make it to the hospital.”

“Then where the hell are we going?”

“I know a doctor who doesn't live far from here. Well, he's not exactly a doctor. He's a veterinarian.”

“A veterinarian?” Jean cried.

“Don't worry,” Vinnie said. “He's one of the best. And he's on the Bozo Family payroll, so we won't have to deal with the cops.”

“Are you insane? I won't put my brother's life in the hands of a vet.”

“Then find your own way to the hospital.”

Vinnie wouldn't be persuaded otherwise. The boss's son was bleeding out fast. There wasn't enough time to second-guess his actions.

Earl Berryman almost had a heart attack when the group of blood-drenched clowns burst through the front door of his apartment. He was standing there in his pajamas, eating a bowl of cornflakes that dropped from his hands and shattered on the kitchen floor when he saw the son of Don Bozo being carried inside.

“Mr. Blue Nose?” Earl asked. “What are you doing here?”

“You have to help him,” Vinnie said.

Jean and Vinnie carried the bleeding clown to the vet's dining room table. Jean cleared the table with one sweep of his arm, knocking the children's breakfast onto the floor.

“Why didn't you take him to the hospital?” Earl asked.

“There's no time. You have to save him. Do you have your medical equipment here?”

“Yeah, but my kids are getting ready for school,” Earl said. “They can't see this.”

“Forget about them,” Vinnie said. “Tell them to stay in their rooms. You have to concentrate. This is the boss's son that's dying over here. You don't want to be responsible for his death.”

Earl looked over at the hallway to see his three daughters were already peeking in on the commotion. Their clown mother was standing behind them, blowing bubbles into the air.

“Take them to your room,” Earl told his wife. “Then get me my bag.”

The woman nodded and giggled. Her bright-red lips pursed as she blew bubbles at her concerned daughters.

“Get to work,” Vinnie said. “He's not the only patient we have for you.”

The vet examined Jimmy Bozo and said, “We're going to need a blood donor.”

“I'm type O,” Vinnie said. “You can take mine.”

Then Vinnie and Jean went to the car to get the other patient.

When there was nothing left that Vinnie could do to help, Earl Berryman told him to wait outside.

“I've done all I can,” Earl said. “It's up to them now.”

Vinnie looked down at the clown prince. He'd never seen Jimmy in such a sorry state. The young Bozo had gotten closer to death than he'd ever gone before. Blue Nose hoped the guy learned something from the ordeal. He wasn't indestructible. He had to use caution or the next time would be his last.

Outside, Vinnie lit up a blue raspberry cigarette and walked over to the Frenchman, who was waiting with the same impatient look that Vinnie'd had all morning.

“The doctor said your brother will likely pull through,” Vinnie said, offering him a cigarette. “He's one tough bastard.”

Vinnie lit the cigarette for him.

“You're damn right he is,” Jean said. “When he was four years old, his nose was bitten off by a stray dog. He didn't cry or complain after it happened. Instead, he quietly chased the dog down and bashed its head in with a brick. Can you believe that? When our father asked him what had happened, he just said, ‘My nose fell off.' Like it was a shoe or something. Just a little thing that he didn't even need.”

Vinnie nodded. “He's quite a character.”

He could tell that François was the stronger of the two brothers. Without him, Jean would've been lost. Just looking at how shaken up the juggler was, Vinnie knew that had François died, half of Jean would've died with him.

“So what do we do now?” Vinnie asked. “Are we going to go back to killing each other two weeks from now or can we resolve this peacefully?”

Jean thought about it for a minute before speaking. He said, “You might have nearly killed my brother, but you also saved his life. We have no quarrel with you.”

“And what about Jimmy?”

Jean inhaled his cigarette so loud Vinnie could hear the sucking sound. Then he exhaled in an annoyed moan. “I'm sorry, but Jimmy Bozo must die. He killed my dear cousin Pierre. This cannot be forgiven.”

“If you kill Jimmy it will be all-out war between the two families. Little Bigtop will become a war zone. Is that what you really want?”

“It's blood for blood. It is only fair.”

“But how many others will have to die? Don Bozo will not rest until you and your brother pay for the murder of his son.”

“Then so be it,” Jean said, tossing his cigarette in the street. “If it must come to war, my people are ready.”

Vinnie shook his head. He didn't understand why everyone had to be so stubborn all the time. “Then I guess the next time we meet, I'm going to have to kill you.”

As Jean walked up the steps to return to his brother's bedside, he turned to Vinnie and said, “Tell me, Blue Nose. Why do you risk your own life to protect that worthless son of a bitch? I see it in your eyes. You want him dead just as much as I do.”

“That's where you're wrong,” Vinnie said. “I owe that man everything.”

“Everything?”

“No matter how much trouble that idiot causes, I'll always back him up.”

It was the night Jimmy Bozo was promoted to capo. All of the Bozo Family was gathered together at Uncle Jojo's estate, and the party was hopping. Vinnie arrived in his nicest blue suit with his wife on his arm. Samantha, as always, felt uncomfortable being the only vanilla in a crowd of clowns.

“I only have to make an appearance and then I can leave, right?” Samantha asked as they traversed the crowd of drunken clowns.

“Yeah,” Vinnie said. “Just get a strong drink, say hi to the other wives, make a little small talk, then come up with some excuse to leave early. It'll take ninety minutes tops.”

Samantha sighed with relief. “Are you sure you're okay with me leaving you here by yourself?”

“I'll be fine,” Vinnie said. “If it was any other event I would leave with you, but it'll look disrespectful if I don't stay. I'm one of the few supporters of Jimmy's promotion.”

Samantha nodded. She'd been with him enough to know his job came first. She'd learned to live with that.

“Vinnie!” Jimmy Bozo yelled from across the party. He charged through the crowd to get to him, a goblet of whiskey in his hand. The clown was already clearly drunk, staggering over his giant feet. “Vinnie, you stuck-up blue bastard. Where you been?”

“I was picking up my wife,” Vinnie said. “Have you met Samantha?”

Jimmy grabbed her by the hand and squished his red nose into her knuckles to kiss her fingers like she was some kind of princess. “How did such a boring prick like you win yourself a gorgeous dame like her?”

“A pleasure to meet you,” Samantha said, wiggling her hand away from the drunken clown.

Jimmy leaned into Vinnie's chest. “I'm finally rid of you, you son of a bitch. No more of your bullshit orders. No more managing who I keep on my crew. I'm my own man now, Blue Nose. I'm a capo, same as you.”

Then the clown prince wandered away to attack the busty clown waitress carrying a platter of drinks.

“So
that's
what you had to deal with these past few years?” Samantha asked.

They watched Jimmy grab the waitress around the hip as he snatched someone else's drink from the platter. Then he mumbled into the woman's ear; it was probably some kind of obscene proposal judging by her facial expression.

“Yeah,” Vinnie said. “Good riddance.”

Then they moved as far away from Jimmy as they could. Who knew what the clown would do if he got any drunker.

When Don Bozo saw Vinnie, he had a large smile on his fat clown face. It was as if somebody had told him he was becoming a grandfather or something. Vinnie had never seen the big guy in such a merry mood. When he reached them, he went straight for Vinnie's wife.

“Samantha, how have you been, doll?” The boss hugged her against his belly and kissed her on the cheek.

“I'm doing great, Mr. Bozo,” she said with a nervous smile. “It's a lovely party.”

“Mr. Bozo?” the boss chuckled. “Please, we're family. No formalities.”

She just nodded and smiled.

“Mind if I borrow your husband for a moment?” he asked Samantha.

“Sure,” she said. Then she turned to Vinnie and kissed his neck. “I'll be at the bar.”

When Vinnie was alone with the boss, they embraced each other.

“You did a good job with my boy,” Bozo said. “I can't believe how far he's come in such a short time. I thought he'd never grow up.”

They looked at Jimmy stumbling over himself on the other side of the party. Bozo clearly wondered if he'd spoken too soon.

“He still has a long way to go,” Vinnie said. “But the extra responsibility will be good for him.”

“Not a lot of people were in favor of promoting him so young. Thanks for helping with that.”

“He's become a hard worker and surprisingly reliable when it counts. The main thing I'm still worried about is that temper of his. And the fact that he gets out of control when he drinks.”

Don Bozo nodded. “I know. That's why I want you to still be responsible for him.”

“How so?” Vinnie asked.

“I'm promoting you again,” Bozo said.

“What do you mean? I'm already capo. Are you making me your underboss? Is your brother retiring or something?”

“No,” Bozo said. “I'm making you street boss.”

“The Bozo Family's never had a street boss before.”

“Well, there's a first for everything. You'll be the top capo, the third in command. That doesn't mean you'll have extra responsibilities. It just means you outrank the other captains. It means Jimmy still has to listen to you.”

Vinnie was happy to be promoted, but he'd thought he was finally done with taking care of that unruly clown.

“You don't have to order Jimmy around or involve yourself with his affairs,” Bozo continued. “Just give him advice from time to time. And put him in his place when he needs to be put in his place. Capisce?”

“Okay,” Vinnie said, nodding. “I'll keep him out of trouble.”

“Good boy,” Bozo said, patting him on the back. “Now go have a good time. It's a party.”

Vinnie made his rounds and then met back up with Samantha. She was with the other clown wives, standing in the back of the group, faux-smiling at their jokes. She looked over at Vinnie with a please-get-me-out-of-here face.

“Don't you have a doctor's appointment tomorrow?” Vinnie asked his wife with a wink.

She looked down at her watch. “Oh yeah! I completely forgot. I need to get some sleep.”

She was a terrible actress, but the other wives didn't seem to care.

“Here,” Vinnie said, holding out his keys. “Why don't you take the car? I'll get a ride home with Spotty later.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I can take a cab?”

Taffy, the boss's bitchy niece, rolled her eyes as she heard Sam's phony performance.

“Yeah, it'll be fine.”

Jimmy Bozo burst between them holding up a pair of keys. “Take my car.”

“What?” Samantha said, stepping away from the slobbering drunk.

“The boss won't let me drive home in my condition, so I'm staying here tonight,” Jimmy said. “Just take my car.”

Sam shook her head. “No, thank you. It'll be okay.”

“I insist,” Jimmy said, pulling the woman through the crowd.

Vinnie followed. He didn't like the way the clown was getting so touchy-feely with his wife.

“I'll escort you out,” Jimmy said, wrapping his arm around her waist.

Outside, Jimmy gave Samantha his keys and kissed her on the neck. Vinnie pulled him away.

“That's enough, Jimmy,” he told the man, holding him by the arm.

Samantha walked away from the boss's son as fast as she could. She unlocked the door of the clown car and hopped inside.

“I'll call you when I get home,” she told her husband from the car window. “Try not to be out too late.”

“You know me,” Vinnie said.

As Vinnie turned away to head back to the party, Samantha put the key in the ignition and turned it, but the engine wouldn't start. It made a strange grinding sound. She tried it again.

“Get out of there!” Jimmy cried.

Vinnie looked at the clown prince, wondering why he was racing for his wife at top speed. Then he saw the look of panic on Samantha's face. Something was wrong.

“It's a bomb!” Jimmy yelled.

Vinnie Blue Nose knew there were a lot of people in the Bozo Family who were against Jimmy's promotion, but he had no idea they'd actually try to stop it by planting a bomb in his car.

Time slowed almost to a stop. There was nothing Vinnie could do but watch. His eyes met his wife's. He read her lips as she mouthed the words
I love you.
Vinnie realized that was the end. He'd lost his wife. He got the love of his life killed because he insisted on taking her to a Bozo Family party, which she didn't even want to attend.

But before the bomb went off, Jimmy Bozo pulled Samantha out of the car and threw her to the ground, dropping himself on top of her to protect her from the blast. The explosion could be seen down the street and Jimmy had to be rushed to the hospital with third-degree burns on his back.

But Samantha walked away unharmed. That asshole brat of a clown saved her life.

Nobody ever found out who exactly put the bomb in Jimmy's car, but most suspected it to be the underboss—Jimmy's own uncle. There was no way to prove it, though. The boss had a sit-down with his top men, made a few threats, and there was never another attempt on his son's life.

After that night, Vinnie had a newfound respect for the clown prince. The prick hated Vinnie and he hated humans, yet he put his own life at risk to save Vinnie's human wife. Maybe it was just because he was drunk, but Vinnie saw a side to Little Bozo that not many had ever seen before. There was actual heart buried in that clown's rotten white flesh. And Vinnie would never forget what he did for him. If he'd lost Samantha that night, Vinnie wouldn't have been able to live with himself.