Conservative Affairs (26 page)

Yes, she was involved with a woman—but it still felt so unfair. What did that have to do with her ability to govern, to foster important, necessary changes in a city she loved? If the attention were to focus solely on the fact that she had engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a staff member, she could have dealt with that. She knew, though, that her being with a woman would be the focal point of the news stories—more so than the woman in question having been a staff member. The news of her “lesbian tendencies” were likely to create a much greater stir, as they had with her staff. And that was unfair.

It was how things went in politics, she guessed, but it still did not prevent the sting of the rejection she was feeling from each of her most trusted staff members. These were the people she was supposed to rely on most, and, as Ian said, the ones who often took the fall. But most importantly, they had always been the people who were fighting for her, not against her.

It felt as though they had given up, resigning themselves to either watch her be voted out of office next year or tender her resignation at some point in the near future.

After moments of painful silence, Jacquelyn finally spoke.

“I will draft a statement for the media tonight, so we can hit the ground running when this breaks. It isn’t really a matter of if anymore. I think it is safe to say that given everything we have heard, the media will catch wind of this very soon. If they haven’t already.”

Gabe, who had avoided eye contact with everyone since Jo walked out, now looked at Madeline. “What will you say?”

“We will say that the allegations are true—that I did sleep with a woman in college. But we will leave Jo out of it, if possible. We will address the situation, but we will affirm that this does not interfere with my ability to perform as mayor and that I still have the best interests of the citizens of Oklahoma City at heart.”

“We will not,” Ian interjected.

Madeline cleared her throat. She had always had the final say about the statements she put out to the public. After all, she was the one saying them.

“And what do you propose we say, Ian?” she asked.

“You will say that all the allegations are false,” Ian said pointedly. “That there is no relationship whatsoever with Jo, who in any case, resigned recently to pursue other opportunities. That this so-called news story is something cooked up by a source looking to earn another fifteen minutes of fame and a little cash from the news stations and some expiation for having been discovered stepping out with your husband in the first place.

“As for your relationship with Natalie, you will minimize it. You will dismiss it. Lie if you have to. You could say, for instance, that, once, at a party you were dared to kiss each other, and you did. That way if some other
witness
to your actions comes forward, it’s out in the open already as some sort of stupid college stunt. Case closed. Nothing else is open for discussion.

“Then you will say that you are sorry for all the turmoil this has caused for your constituents and that even though you are facing a very difficult time in your life, they come first. You hope that they will understand the burden of stress you have been under and that you are committed to serving them no matter what.”

Madeline shook her head. Could he be any further off the mark?

“It will likely not be enough to save us in the election, but it will get us out of hot water for at least a little bit,” Ian continued. “Jacquelyn, you work up the statement. Gabe, you work on scheduling a public press conference for tomorrow morning, where we will release these statements.”

“And you,” he said, turning to Madeline, “you will have nothing further to do with Jo Carson. You are not to see her or be seen with her.”

Madeline laughed. “Just who the hell do you think you are, Ian?”

“The only one making rational decisions at a time when you are off sleeping with inappropriate people and making a mockery of this office,” he shot back.

“I will not stop seeing Jo, and I will not issue a statement full of lies,” she said defiantly. It was true. She would no longer lie about who she was or what she was doing. Life was too short to be spent cowering in a corner hoping no one saw through the fabrications.

“Oh, now you are suddenly an upstanding citizen, focused on telling the truth and spreading morality? That’s really rich coming from someone pursuing a sinful and disgusting lifestyle,” Ian yelled, losing control once again.

“You will lower your voice, and you WILL show respect for me,” Madeline demanded in a cold, quiet voice. “I am still the mayor—if only for this very minute. I have apologized for what I have done wrong, and I fully accept what is coming, Ian.”

“I will not,” he said. “You forfeited all authority in this room the minute you put your desires above the careers of everyone here. You selfishly and foolishly placed us all on the line to fulfill a depraved fantasy. And now you will listen to what we have to say, and you will follow our lead.”

“I will not,” Madeline echoed. “Sit your high and mighty ass back down on that chair and listen up. My actions were reprehensible, and I have addressed that. You can oppose homosexuality until you are blue in the face, but it does not change the fact that I prefer to sleep with women. Nor does it change the fact that you are a bigot and an asshole.”

Ian opened his mouth to speak, but Madeline cut him off. “You want to talk about actions that are sinful and disgusting? Let’s think this one over for a minute. Now, you, as I recall, are the one who’s always telling me to quote the Bible, so let me quote some scripture for you. How about ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness’? Is that anything like filling a press release full of lies?

“Or how about, ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone’? Do you remember that one?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, clearly not amused.

“Well,” she continued, “if memory serves, two years ago one of our staff members knocked up the girl he was dating. Did the media ask about this? Yes, they did, because it happened at the very time when we were advancing our family values campaign. Did I fire this staffer?”

Madeline looked around the room to add to the dramatic effect. “No, I did not. He is now my chief of staff and is married to the woman with whom he had a child.”

“Correct me if I am wrong,” Madeline continued, looking Ian in the eye. “But wouldn’t some church folks call that precious baby boy of yours an abomination, just like you are calling my relationship an abomination?”

His anger, which had dropped down a notch, was quickly replaced by sheer hatred. No one liked being called out on their own issues. It was easy to make a fuss about someone else’s supposed wrongdoings, but when the tables were turned, it was harder to digest.

Gabe and Jacquelyn both looked terrified, she saw. And they should be. She had enough on each of them to bury them. As she was about to remind them. She wasn’t done, not by a long shot.

“Gabriel,” she said. “You had a DWI a year ago, didn’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said.

“The press inquired about that too. Yet here you are at this table,” Madeline said.

He nodded his head. There were other issues that she could have brought to the forefront of everyone’s minds regarding Gabe, but he had been the least hostile, so she decided to let them slide for now.

“Jacquelyn,” she said, turning in her chair. “Have you ever been caught red-handed by the press sleeping with inappropriate people and getting fall-down, pass-out drunk in public?”

Jacquelyn’s eyes widened in horror. Madeline had been keeping that gem of information pretty much to herself. She had shared with Ian what she had heard. He had cautioned Jacquelyn, but basically it had been swept under the rug. She was never told that Madeline had been informed.

When Jacquelyn did not answer, Madeline decided to dig a little bit deeper.

“You see, an old friend of mine who works for the
Oklahoman
called one night to tell me that he had seen you shooting doubles for an entire evening, to the point that you were about to pass out. Apparently, though, that was not enough to make you go home. Instead, you proceeded to have sex with a stranger in his car outside of the bar. Does this incident sound familiar at all?”

Jacquelyn cast her eyes downward.

“Luckily, my friend the reporter told me he was not going to say anything—he just thought I should know,” Madeline said. She swept her gaze around the room.

“As you see, I am not the only one to have tarnished the reputation of this office. Each of you have too. So, having said that, I will write my own damn statement and each of you can go fuck yourselves.”

She stood up and pushed in her chair.

“You can expect my statement by email tomorrow morning,” she said to Jacquelyn. “Between now and then, I’ll be making decisions based on how I want to proceed and on what type of staff I want to surround myself with, should I choose to remain in office or seek another term.”

* * *

Jacquelyn felt her heart settle into a normal rhythm, a strange phenomenon, considering everything that had transpired tonight.

It was highly likely that she would be out of a job as of tomorrow morning, and even if she wasn’t, there was a shitstorm headed their way that could not be avoided. Nonetheless, she felt free.

Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.
Jacquelyn suddenly understood the words of the old Janis Joplin song, and she sang them to herself for comfort.

Glancing down in her lap, she clicked on the message notification that had been blinking there for the last twenty minutes.
We need to talk. Call me when you have a minute.
The message was from Isaac. She tried to care about whatever he might say, but all of her energy was gone. Had the news already come out? Was it coming out tomorrow? She hung her head, realizing she didn’t care. It was as if the
Titanic
had already hit the iceberg and she was content to go down with the ship.

She had heard colleagues talk about being burnt out, but she had always thought she was better than that. If you stayed dedicated to your job, you wouldn’t burn out, she had said. She had been wrong.

She tried to figure out exactly when she had stopped caring. Was it the moment when Madeline chose to lean on Jo rather than her? Was it earlier when Madeline announced she would not hide the truth and she would not apologize, thereby sinking her political career? Or was it a moment ago when she realized Madeline was right in stating that she had nothing to apologize for—not to the public, not to anyone?

Madeline Stratton was a giver of second and third chances. She always had been and, as a result, over the past few years she had built somewhat of a family in this office. Everyone had their share of baggage and dysfunctional relationships, but when times were tough, they stood together as one.

Usually, that is. This time, they had turned their backs on Madeline, leaving her and Jo out in the cold alone.

She fought the urge to chase after Madeline and apologize. It would do no good now, just as Madeline’s confession to the public tomorrow would do no good.

Looking across the table at Ian, she wanted to slap him. What right did he have—what right did any of them have—to judge so harshly? Sure, it had been inappropriate for a mayor to sleep with a staff member—but it happened all the time. The truth of the matter was, had it been a man and a woman, everything would have been swept under the rug.

And what did it matter in the end? Political careers were tumultuous and unstable at best. She and the other staffers would hit the campaign circuit, or they would find another official position. They would be fine.

She took a deep breath and decided that she had to call Isaac back. If only for tonight, she was still communications director for Mayor Madeline Stratton. She fought the urge to laugh. Which one of their titles would vanish first? Would she become the former communications director before Madeline became the former mayor?

“I have a call to make,” she announced, making Gabe and Ian jump. Everyone had been lost in their own thoughts.

She stood and walked to the hallway. It didn’t really make a difference since she knew pretty much what Isaac was going to say, but at least she would find out when everything was going to all come to light.

She dialed his number. After only one ring, he answered, out of breath. “Hello?”

“Hey, Isaac. It’s Jacquelyn. You told me to call,” she said.

“Oh, right,” he answered, clearly both intoxicated and happy. “I got a bonus today.”

“You called to tell me you got a bonus?” she asked. “I mean, congratulations,” she added, unsure of why he had bothered to call if that was all he had to say.

“Well, you may not be congratulating me for very long.”

“Why is that?” Jacquelyn asked, already suspecting the answer. Of course he had received a bonus at work. He was about to help break the story of the year, possibly the decade.

“We got a tip on your boss today, and man, it was a big one. We’ve got a story—and an eyewitness who will blow the minds of our viewers,” he said, not even trying to disguise his celebration.

“That’s what I thought,” she said, unable to feel anything about the fact that everything was crashing down around her. “When will it run?”

“So you knew about this?” he asked.

“It’s my job to know,” Jacquelyn replied.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“I didn’t think we were at the point of full disclosure yet, okay, Isaac?” She let out a sigh. “Anyway, when is it going to run?”

“Well, I thought we had a deal. Maybe I shouldn’t even tell you when it’s running,” he slurred.

“Cut the crap, Isaac. We slept together a few times. Don’t act so hurt. When is it running?” She didn’t have the patience to deal with this tonight.

“First thing tomorrow morning,” he said, and she heard the phone click dead.

She guessed that settled the question of how long their little fling was going to last. Stretching to the side, she let the stiffness in her neck crack.

Tomorrow morning was the beginning of the end. She knew she should feel something—anything. It took a while, but finally she thought she did. When she tried to define it, though, only one word came to mind—
jaded.