“
So prom
’
s next week,
”
he says.
“
I know. I may have glanced at the invitation a few times over the past couple of weeks.
”
“
I want you to come with me. Is that enough time for you to get a dress? And whatever else a girl needs for prom?
”
“
I think so,
”
I laugh.
“
What do you think your parents will say about the after party?
”
“
I
’
m not sure. But I
’
ll ask them again. I
’
m sure they
’
ll let me stay out later than normal, though.
”
“
I
’
d love to have all night with you.
”
My stomach tightens in a knot as the back of his hand brushes against my cheek. I study his expression to see if he
’
s suggesting what I think he is.
“
I got a room at the hotel.
”
I inhale a small gulp of air, my breath shaky. He angles his body toward mine, and I shift my posture to mirror his. I hold his hand across the center console.
“
That might require a few more promises.
”
He turns down the radio and looks at me curiously.
“
Anything, Olivia.
”
I speak timidly, looking down at our hands.
“
Promise me this isn
’
t the same as what happened with those other girls.
”
“
Not even close.
”
He strokes my ring with his thumb. I watch this soothing motion, hopeful; my fears lessen by the second.
“
That summer was awful, Liv. Unbearable. My dad was my lifeline, and he was gone. I struggled to stay on track, and I kept people I trusted close–too close, in a few instances, but it was what I had to do to survive. I didn
’
t love them. I was desperate for affection, that
’
s all.
”
“
I
’
m sorry,
”
I whisper, running my hand through his soft hair.
“
It
’
s okay.
”
He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses it.
“
You said
promises
.
”
He urges me to continue.
“
Promise me that we can take it slow.
”
“
Hey,
”
he whispers, tipping my chin up and looking at me with assurance and self-confidence.
“
I wouldn
’
t have it any other way. I won
’
t hurt you.
”
He kisses me softly, his finger lingering around my neck, tickling the hollow beneath my ear. I tremor suddenly at his touch.
I accept his answer with a quiet nod and a shy smile.
“
Is that all?
”
he asks. I shake my head.
“
What else?
”
“
Promise me this won
’
t change how you feel about me.
”
“
Olivia,
”
he begins, pulling my lips to his again. I can feel my pulse pounding in every inch of my body. Wanting to be closer to him, I rearrange myself on the seat, kneeling and putting my arms around his neck. He moans softly, his hands skimming up the sides of my body and his thumbs barely brushing my breasts. He stops me briefly.
“
I can
’
t make you that promise,
”
he says before returning to our embrace. I kiss him for another few seconds before I realize what he said. I pull my arms back and kneel up straight, feeling his fingers travel down my arms and back to my hands.
“
You can
’
t?
”
“
No.
”
He weaves his fingers through mine, on both of my hands.
“
This will change me. It will change you, too. I can
’
t pretend like it won
’
t. But tell me something.
”
“
What?
”
Soft rain starts to fall on the car.
“
Think about how you feel about me right this second.
”
I do as he asks, and can
’
t help but smile.
“
Okay.
”
“
Now try to imagine how you
’
ll feel about me after you lie beside me, naked and vulnerable and unsure, but safe in my arms.
”
My body blushes crimson; warmth spreads over me at the thought of
truly
being with him. I inch closer to him once more, upright on my knees, my hands resting on his strong arms. He scrapes his nails lightly up my leg until his hand is grasping the back of my thigh.
“
Think about what it will feel like, being touched, and kissed and
loved...
by someone who thinks the world of you. Someone who chose you over all others.
”
The desire in his eyes is too much for me to stand, or ignore, so I don
’
t. He welcomes me, full in his arms, and I wish we were anywhere but in my car, where I start to wonder if there was strategy behind my parent
’
s choice in center consoles because there
’
s no maneuvering around it. I hit my knee on the parking break, and Jon starts to chuckle a little, making me laugh.
“
Now, see? Do you think you
’
ll feel the same about me?
”
He nuzzles his nose against mine.
“
I already feel differently.
”
CHAPTER 1
9
“
How is Jon
’
s tie going to match this dress when you just got it yesterday?
”
“
He
’
s wearing a black tie,
”
I tell them, admiring the beautiful
wine
color of my floor-length gown.
“
Just a classic tux.
”
“
Well, that
’
s no fun,
”
Clara says.
“
Well, Anna made his boutonniere, and it matches the colors perfectly. He
’
s going to look handsome. You
’
ll see.
”
“
I
’
m sure he will, Livvy,
”
Lexi says.
“
And he will be floored when he sees you.
”
“
You think?
”
I ask, straightening out the delicate crystal belt around my waist.
“
I know.
”
“
Are you sure I shouldn
’
t wear my hair down?
”
“
No, you want to show off your neckline,
”
Clara says.
“
Stop messing with it. And close your eyes.
”
I do as she says, feeling her heavy hand brush on eye shadow.
“
Don
’
t make me look like a prostitute,
”
I tell her.
“
Are you saying I normally do?
”
“
No, I just don
’
t want to look like one.
”
I feel my bangs, trying to better secure them into place. Clara pulls my hand away and sets it in my lap.
“
I just wish I had a clip or something! It feels like it
’
s going to fall out.
”
“
It
’
s going to be fine, Livvy. Trust us? Please?
”
“
Alright, Lex. You, I trust.
”
“
Careful, I
’
m doing the makeup. You didn
’
t say anything about not wanting to look like a clown.
”
“
I will kill you, Clara.
”
“
Sit still.
”
I sit motionless while she applies mascara to the false lashes she had insisted I wear.
“
Okay, now open your eyes.
”
Cautiously, I look at myself in the mirror.
“
You look so pretty,
”
Lexi says.
“
It looks great, Clara. I
’
m sorry for doubting you.
”
“
You said you wanted sexy and smoldering. Did I deliver?
”
“
Absolutely.
”
“
Good. Now where
’
s the necklace?
”
“
In the red box in my top drawer. You
’
re sure I should wear that instead of the one he gave me?
”
“
You never have an opportunity to wear this.
”
She hands the box to Lexi and starts rummaging through my underwear drawer.
“
Clara, shut that.
”
“
No, way,
”
she says, pulling out a soft pink lace bra.
“
This is fancy.
”
“
It is not.
”
Honestly, it is, but I try to brush her off, not wanting her handling all of my delicates.
Lexi unclasps the diamond necklace that my dad had given to me when my brother was born. I was only ten when I received it, and until now, I
’
d only worn it to one wedding, two funerals, and a formal sweet-sixteen party for a girl at school.
“
So, is what you
’
re wearing underneath that dress better or worse than this?
”
Clara says, waving the bra around.
“
Clara, seriously.
”
“
Better or worse?
”
“
Better!
”
I tell her, helping Lexi straighten the necklace. Clara puts the garment back, but instead of shutting the drawer, she pulls out a delicate pair of silk panties.
“
Sexy,
”
she teases me.
“
Better or worse?
”
“
Better!
”
“
Where
’
d you get all of this?
”
“
I got a gift card from Anna for my birthday. But no one knows, so put them back before my mom walks in!
”
“
Alright,
”
she says. Before I know it, she has pulled out a matching blue set of underwear.
“
Come on, Clara,
”
Lexi says.
“
Better or worse?
”
“
Just trust that you
’
ll find nothing better in that drawer than what I have on, alright?
”
She finally gives up and puts the clothing back, but she continues to poke around the drawer.
“
I can
’
t believe that your dad is letting you stay out all night. My mom never would have allowed it.
”
“
He is?
”
Lexi asks. I smile and nod, blushing a little.
“
Clara, didn
’
t you go to some place in Jersey after yours? You did! I remember, you did!
”
“
I did, but I wasn
’
t allowed to. I was grounded until the end of the school year.
”