Deep Green: Color Me Jealous with Bonus Content (16 page)

I nodded. “Of course. I’ll do whatever I can. And maybe I’ll get out of the cast sooner—”

“Don’t be rushing things, Jordan. Just get that foot healed up right.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll be announcing this to the rest of the girls today. Do you know if Shawna’s shown up yet?”

“I haven’t seen her.”

She shook her head. “Unfortunately, it seems that Shawna is skipping school today—another infraction. I’ve already spoken to her mother about her being suspended from the squad, but I can’t seem to reach Shawna on her cell or at home. I really wanted her to hear the news from me first, but we need to get our alternate on board and practicing if we’re going to have the slightest chance at Flair Fair.”

I nodded, but I had to wonder if Flair Fair was becoming a little too important, not just to the cheerleaders but to Ms. Brookes as well. Still, I was the newcomer here, and not exactly an asset when it came to the competition anyway.

We were a somber group as we met in Ms. Brookes’ office after school. At first I wondered why Lucy Farrell was there, but then I figured she must be the alternate. I felt bad for everyone when we were all subjected to a rather lengthy and somewhat boring lecture on (1) propriety, (2) respect, (3) rules, and (4) leadership.

“And this is exactly why Shawna Frye is officially suspended as a cheerleader starting today. I have spent the day trying to reach her, and her mother has been informed. But it’s time to move on, and since Lucy Farrell was the first alternate, we can all welcome her to the squad today.”

“You mean Shawna hasn’t even been told yet?” demanded Betsy Mosler.

“Excuse me, Betsy,” said Ms. Brookes in a firm voice. “We were about to welcome Lucy to the squad.”

Amber started clapping and we all followed suit, but Betsy was scowling. She raised her hand and asked her question again.

“As I said, her mother has been notified.” Ms. Brookes sighed. “There’s little I can do when a cheerleader breaks the rules and then skips school and cannot be reached. I hope this will be a lesson to all of us. You girls are the leaders in this school. We expect more of you.”

By the time she finished her speech, my foot was really throbbing and all I wanted to do was to go home and crash. But then I remembered that I was supposed to stay “for all practices.” I considered pleading my case and then thought better of it. Instead, I tried to make myself comfortable on the bleachers and somehow managed to crank out quite a bit of homework while trying to look somewhat attentive to the practice. I had to feel sorry for Lucy though. It seemed like she was getting the brunt of all the pent-up frustration of the squad. And Betsy, in particular, had really focused her sights on the poor girl.

“Lucy is
never
going to get it,” complained Betsy as they were finishing up. “We’d be better off without her.”

“Sure, a squad with only five girls,” said Ashley sarcastically.

“It’s times like this I wish we still had the guys around,” said Amber as she wiped her face with a towel.

“I don’t see why they quit having guys on the team,” said Jenny.

Ashley glanced over her shoulder first to make sure it was safe before she spoke. “I think it was Ms. Brookes’ suggestion,” she said. “She thought that inappropriate lifting was going on.”

“Lifting?” I called as I hobbled over toward them.

“You know,” said Ashley. “The guys were getting too friendly when they lifted the girls into the air.”

We all laughed—well, everyone but Lucy.

“Don’t worry, Lucy,” I said quietly as we headed toward the locker room. “It’s always hardest at the beginning.”

“I was so excited earlier today,” she told me. “Now I feel like a complete failure. And tomorrow’s the first preseason game.”

“You’ll be fine. Just take a spot on the end and step aside whenever you forget. Believe me, that’s better than standing out there looking stupid.”

“Thanks.” She smiled at me and then looked down at my foot. “Bet that hurt.”

I nodded. “And it’s not feeling too hot right now either.”

“You need a ride home, Jordan?” called Ashley as she headed for the showers.

“That’d be great.”

On the way home, Ashley asked me if I was still interested in working at her mom’s shop.

“I would be,” I told her, “but I’m such a klutz, I’d probably end up knocking everything over.”

“Yeah, better wait. Hey!” Suddenly she was pulling her car to a stop. “That’s Shawna’s car!”

Sure enough, it
was
Shawna’s car. “Are you going to talk to her?”

“Why not?” said Ashley as she pulled into the convenience-store parking lot, parking right next to Shawna’s car. “Someone has to tell her the good news.”

I frowned, unsure this was such a good idea. “Maybe Amber—”

“Come on, Jordan. You should totally enjoy this!”

“Oh, Ashley, my foot is really hurting right now. All I want to do is take a pain pill and go to sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. But I’ll put the windows down so you can hear her reaction.”

I cringed. This was not going to be pretty.

Ashley leaned back on the hood of her own car, waiting for Shawna to come out. Finally, Shawna emerged carrying a large drink and what looked like a hot dog. I couldn’t believe Shawna would actually eat a convenience-store hot dog.

“Hey, Shawna,” called Ashley.

I slunk down in the seat of her car, out of Shawna’s view, wishing I weren’t there at all.

“What’s up?” asked Shawna in a flat tone.

“Have you heard the news?”

Shawna’s brows lifted slightly. She’d been hooked. “No, what news?”

“Well,”
Ashley drawled as if the word had three syllables. “Ms. Brookes put Lucy Farrell on the squad today.”

Now Shawna visibly brightened.
“Really?”
She took a sip of her drink. “So is that backstabbing little tramp history now?”

I saw Ashley glance over to where I was sitting, and Shawna’s gaze quickly followed, but I was already out of the car. Sore foot or not, I wasn’t going to take that kind of abuse sitting down.

“Did you have something to say to
me?”
I hobbled over to stand next to Ashley, hoping she’d protect me if Shawna got out of hand. Not that she would. Shawna may be a lot of things, but she’s not a physical bully.

Shawna just tossed me a look that suggested I wasn’t worthy of her attention. “Too bad, Jordan. But with your messed up foot and all, you shouldn’t have expected to remain on the squad. It’s not like we can afford to have cripples out there leading cheers.”

“Lucy isn’t replacing Jordan,” said Ashley.

Shawna’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“She’s replacing
you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Ms. Brookes has been trying to reach you all day, Shawna. She finally got your mom at work.”

“Are you serious?” Shawna looked stressed now.

Ashley just nodded.

Then Shawna used a word that Ms. Brookes would not have approved of, jumped in her car, and squealed out of the parking lot.

Ashley just shrugged. “Well, at least she knows.”

I rolled my eyes. “Can we go home now?”

If all this had happened a few weeks ago, or even a week ago, I would’ve been ecstatic—over the moon with joy. But today I just felt tired and slightly confused.

After a quiet dinner with my family, I called Kara.

“How are you doing?” she asked in a cheerful voice.

“I’m not sure.”

“I tried to hook up with you at school, but every time I saw you, you were surrounded by friends. It’s like you were some kind of celebrity or something today. What’s up?”

“Didn’t Edgar tell you?”

She laughed. “Well, he told me that Amber had been setting everyone straight about what really happened.”

“Which reminds me,” I said. “How did the truth first start coming to the surface, Kara? When Amber came to my house, she had already heard the rumor.”

“Well, it’s not really like spreading a rumor when you’re telling the truth,” said Kara. “Edgar just happened to tell the truth to the right people, and it took off like any other sort of rumor.”

“I owe him one.”

“Yeah, me too. But what’s going on with you today? You sound kind of bummed.”

“I think I’m a little dazed and confused.”

So I told her about my mixed feelings for Shawna and how I didn’t want to let God down by acting like a jerk.

“That’s because you need to forgive her,” said Kara as if that should make perfect sense.

“Forgive her?” I repeated. “Forgive Shawna?”

“Yeah.”

“After all the crud she’s put me through? Even today. You should’ve heard what she said to me at the store, Kara. It was bad.”

“I’m sure it was. She probably hates your guts, considering all that’s gone down.”

“But it was
her
fault.” I knew I sounded just like my friends now.

“I’m sure it was,” agreed Kara. “That’s not the point.”

“What
is
the point?”

Kara sighed. “I know this is a lot for you to take in, Jordan. I mean, you only gave your heart to God yesterday. But just bear with me, okay?”

“Okay.” I leaned back on my bed, perching my cast-bound foot on a pillow.

“Well, the thing is, Jesus forgives us, right?”

“Right,” I said. “He cleans up our messes like Little Cat Z.”

“Yeah, right. I can see I’m going to have to read that book.”

“I think Tommy’s still got a copy,” I teased. “I’ll bet he’d loan it to you.”

“Thanks. Anyway, in the same way that Jesus forgives us—while we’re total messes—that’s how he wants us to forgive other people too.”

“Oh.” Now, to be honest, this struck a familiar chord, like maybe I’d heard this same thing in church one time, although I usually never paid too much attention in church.

“Yeah. And it’s not easy. Remember what I told you the other day about Bree?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, today she made off with my Doc Marten boots.”

“Are her feet your size now?”

“Apparently.” Kara’s voice sounded a bit strained. “So, even as I’m telling you that you need to forgive Shawna, I’m wanting to strangle my little sister. And she’s my own flesh and blood, for crying out loud.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I guess I’ll have to ask God to help me.”

“Oh.”

“That’s probably what you should do too, Jordan.”

“But what if it doesn’t work? Like, what will you do if Bree keeps taking your clothes?”

“I’m not sure. I keep imagining all of my clothes disappearing from my closet and showing up in Bree’s. I’ll probably end up going to school wearing a sheet someday.”

“Everyone would probably think you’d joined a cult,” I teased.

“Maybe that’s how those kinds of things get started in the first place.”

We both laughed and then said goodbye.

I actually considered getting down on my knees right then, thinking perhaps that was the proper way to pray, but my foot was really throbbing.

“Do you mind if I pray flat on my back, God?” I began. And I didn’t get the impression that he minded, so I continued.

First I asked him to help me become a better person, and then I asked him to help me forgive Shawna. I admitted that I didn’t really feel like forgiving her, but I didn’t want to make any more messes either.

Before I could say “amen,” I had fallen asleep. Somehow I don’t think God minded that either.

twenty-two

“I
SN’T IT GREAT THAT
L
UCY IS ALMOST THE SAME SIZE AS
S
HAWNA
?” asked Jenny as we gathered at the foot of the bleachers before the first basketball game of the season. Lucy had on Shawna’s old uniform along with an enormous smile. I could sense her excitement about being the newest member of the squad. I remembered how I’d once felt like that. Had it only been a few months ago?

Respecting Ms. Brookes’ policy, I was also wearing my uniform, although I felt a little awkward and out of place with my giant “club foot,” as Ashley had taken to calling it. But the girls had wrapped stripes of red and blue crepe paper around my crutches, complete with these funky miniature pom-poms tied to the sides. I didn’t feel too bad about hanging out on the sidelines tonight.

“I’d like to know how Ms. Brookes got Shawna to give up her uniform,” I said, glancing nervously around the gym that was slowly filling up. I wondered if Shawna would show up, or if she did, whether she might pull some kind of revenge stunt. I’d started watching my backside after what she’d said the other day in the parking lot.

“Yeah,” said Ashley. “I can just imagine Shawna saying, ‘Oh, sure, you can have my uniform, but not until you pry it out of my cold dead hands.’”

Everyone laughed.

Lucy wasn’t doing too badly, considering she’d only been to two practices so far. And it seemed she was taking my advice about staying on the end of the line and stepping out and just clapping and smiling when she didn’t quite remember the routine. I felt sorry for her but knew she’d get the hang of it before too long.

In a way, I think I almost enjoyed being slightly incapacitated, since it allowed me to relax a little and actually focus on the basketball game—or, more accurately, on Timothy.

He had finally spoken to me today. It was toward the end of lunch when he came over and asked me if I could use some help putting away my tray. Ashley winked at me, as if to say, “Go girl,” and I accepted his offer.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you, Jordan,” he said as he dumped the tray onto the heap. “Got a minute?”

I nodded and followed his lead to a table on the perimeter of the cafeteria.

“How’s your foot?” he asked with a concerned look.

“It’s not hurting too much right now.”

“That’s good.”

We sat down on either side of a small table, and I just looked at him. He seemed slightly stressed.

“How’re you doing?” I asked.

He shrugged but said nothing, and we both just sat there in silence for a couple of very long seconds.

Finally I couldn’t take it. “Hey, I thought you wanted to talk to me.”