Deep Redemption (Hades Hangmen Book 4) (33 page)

My head dropped and I sagged in defeat. But I meant what I had said. I had not come this far to live without him. “He deserves to live,” I whispered. “A man who would risk everything to atone for his sins to such a degree . . . a man who would sacrifice himself so others could live deserves to be saved. How”—my breath hitched—“How can you not see that? How can you be so cold?”

I stepped back until I was at Rider’s legs. I stood my ground. I would not move unless they either freed him . . . or killed me first.

The brothers all stared at me, then looked to one another. Ky eventually inched forward, an unforgiving harshness in his stare. And my stomach plummeted. I could see his answer.

Rider would die.

Then I would die too.

“Bella,” Ky said sternly. “Move the fuck—”

Ky’s words cut off when Lilah moved from his protection, walked forward and joined me at my side. I stared at my sister in astonishment. Lilah cast me a watery smile and threaded her hand through mine.

Lilah looked directly at her husband, who was staring at her, open-mouthed. “Li!” He moved toward her, but she held out her hand and shook her head.

“After what that prick let happen to you?” Ky asked. “After all the shit we’ve been through since you came back from that hell?”

“He tried to save Phebe. She trusted him. Believed in him. And he saved Grace so that our lives could be blessed with a child of our own.”

Ky gripped onto his hair and shouted, “And he let you get gang fuckin’ raped! Burned, lashed and raped!” I flinched as he shouted those words. But Lilah stayed calm.

“It happened to
me
,” she said softly, and my chest bloomed with pride. Lilah met her husband’s tortured gaze. “It
all
happened to me. And I choose to forgive him. I choose to see his life spared. I will not see any more blood spilled in my honor.” Lilah sniffed lightly. “The commune is gone because of him. He killed so that we would have life. He saved Grace from Judah so we could have her as our own.”

Ky turned his head away. I caught a flicker of movement from my left. I braced myself, expecting someone to try to get to Rider amid the distraction. Instead I saw Maddie push out of her husband’s arms. Flame dove forward to pull his wife back. Maddie turned and, with a strength I’d never heard from her before, shouted, “No!” Flame staggered back in shock as he watched Maddie come toward me. She nodded her head at me and took hold of Lilah’s hand.

A wall. We had created a protective wall around my husband.

Maddie straightened her shoulders.

“Maddie,” Flame whispered in a sad, guttural voice.

Maddie met her husband’s eyes. “I love you, Flame, but I will not lose my sister. I will not let Rider be killed. I am sick and tired of all the hurt and pain.”

“He hurt you. He took you from me,” Flame snarled.

Maddie shook her head. “No. He let me go. His brother took me from you. His brother, whom he killed to save us.” She placed her hand over her chest. “Flame. By hurting Rider, you will hurt me. Deep in my heart.”

Flame’s black eyes flared. “No,” he said. “I don’t want you to be fuckin’ hurt. It’s not gonna fuckin’ happen.”

“I know you don’t,” she said and smiled, nothing but love in her eyes.

Flame looked around at his brothers, then threw his blades to the ground. He turned to the redheaded man beside him and took the bar from his hand. The dark-haired man on his other side shook his head, but threw his bloodied blade down too. Flame faced the men and screamed, “Throw down your fuckin’ weapons or I’ll kill you all where you stand! None of you will touch Maddie. Not a single one!”

A flicker of hope built within me as the brothers began looking at one another uncertainly. Then my heart almost burst as Mae stepped out from behind Styx’s shadow. Styx didn’t move as he watched his fiancée walk toward me. “Mae,” I said softly.

Mae stopped in front of me, and looked up at Rider hanging from the chains. “A man who sacrifices everything for the woman he loves deserves to be saved. I wholeheartedly agree. But more than that”—Mae smiled at me and kissed my cheek—“he deserves someone brave to fight for him, to show him he is good when he believes he is not. He deserves you . . . just as much as you deserve him.” Turning to Styx, she said, “To get to Rider, you must go through Bella.” She inhaled, then said firmly, “And to get to Bella, you will have to go through all of us.”

Mae took hold of my hand. As one linked unit, we faced the so-called devil’s men. The Cursed Sisters of Eve, protecting the fallen false prophet of The Order . . . and I had never felt so free.

“Prez?” Someone finally spoke. “Are you just gonna stand here and let this fuckin’ happen? These bitches ain’t got no place here. They got no fuckin’ say.” But Styx did not answer. He stayed fixed on Mae, his arms crossed over his chest and his jaw as rigid as his tense body.

Rider let out a low groan, and I spun my head around. “Help me,” I said to my sisters urgently. I rushed to Rider and tried to reach his chains. Mae moved to the wall and I saw her pull down on a lever. The chains groaned loudly as they began lowering him down. I reached out and caught his broken body in my arms.

“The keys,” Lilah said to Mae. Mae retrieved them from a hook on the wall and brought them to Rider’s wrists. My sisters undid the cuffs as I leaned over his swelling, injured face. His one open eye tracked me deliriously. He groaned when one of his arms fell free from the chain. I rubbed the muscles with my hand, trying to get the blood to flow back to his limbs. “Bella,” Rider said huskily. “You should . . . have let me . . . die . . . ”

I shook my head. “Never, baby . . .
never.
”

A tear seeped from his eye. I wiped it away with my thumb. “Help me move him,” I said to Maddie. She moved to Rider’s other side, and we tried to lift him off the floor. Rider hissed in pain. “He is too heavy,” Maddie said sadly. Lilah and Mae looked on hopelessly. But one was injured and the other pregnant. I would not let them harm themselves.

“It is okay,” I said. I stroked back Rider’s long hair from sticking to the wound on his chest. “I will stay here with him. Bring me water and bandages.” I took hold of his hand. “I will stay here with him until he can walk again . . . until he can walk away from this hell of a place.”

“Bella,” Mae said and I could hear the sadness in her voice. I loved my sisters, but she knew I was not going to live here without Rider. I would not live in a place of hate.

Never again.

I looked up, about to plead my sisters to do as I asked, when someone began pushing through from the back of the crowd of men. Low murmurs came from the brothers. A long-haired man stepped toward us. I crouched over Rider, to shield him from whatever this man was about to do. The man held up his hands.

“Smiler?” Mae said. My head snapped up. Smiler. Rider’s old best friend.

He inched forward. “Can I?” he asked.

Lilah smiled at me and nodded her head. I trusted her completely.

Still holding Rider’s hand, I leaned back and let Smiler in. He crouched down and wrapped his arms around Rider’s back. He pulled him up; I helped hold up Rider’s other side. I looked across at Smiler, and my heart ached. His clothes were clean. He had no weapon. He had no bloodstains on his chest.

He had not taken part in the punishment.

“We need to get him to my room,” Smiler said, taking the brunt of Rider’s weight as we carried him forward. I felt my sisters walking strong behind me, and the feeling that washed over me almost brought me to my knees. As lost as I had felt in this outside world, as distant as I felt from the women they were now, this blew all those worries away.

We left the barn, and Smiler flicked his head at a vehicle close by. “Get him in the truck, I’ll drive him up to the clubhouse.”

Rider’s feet dragged on the muddy ground as we struggled to support his weight. But we got him into the truck, his head cradled in my lap. As Smiler pulled away, I stared down at Rider and stroked his wet hair. His one open eye was once more fixed on me. The white of that eye was red raw. Even in his fractured stare, I could see his love for me shining through . . . but to my sadness, I could also see regret.

He had wanted to die.

Still
wanted to die.

I bent down and kissed his forehead. “I will not let that happen,” I whispered, for his ears only. “I will not let you be alone ever again.”

Rider’s eye closed, and he slipped into a deep sleep. We got him into Smiler’s room in the clubhouse. He slept on the bed as Smiler—apparently a novice medic—stitched his wounds.

My sisters and I, in silence, cleaned my husband’s wounds. As his blood washed away on the white rags, I prayed that the cleansing water would bring with it a rebirth.

I was not sure how much pain Rider felt he needed to endure to finally be redeemed. But I knew—we all knew—he had suffered enough. I just needed him to believe it too.

Because I loved him.

And I would gladly be
his
redemption, if he would finally forgive himself first.

Styx

“What. The. Fuck?” Viking spat as we heard Smiler’s truck speed away from the barn.

I hadn’t moved. I hadn’t fucking moved one step. My chest muscles were about to rip from the tension.

Ky ran his hand down his face. “What the fuck now? The bastard hasn’t paid for turnin’ coat.”

I stared at the blood pooled on the floor beneath the chains. But my vision blurred ‘til all I was seeing was Mae, holding Bella’s hand, her eyes fixed on mine. I ain’t ever seen her so fucking determined about anything as she was in that moment. As pissed as I was, my fucking black heart swelled with pride too.

She’d had Bella’s back. All fucking four of them stood protecting that piece of shit’s life. Like fucking beautiful warriors.

I turned to face the brothers, who were all watching me. Tank flicked his chin. “We can’t let him live, Prez.”

My jaw clenched.

Mae. Fucking Mae. I hadn’t known she would ever rise up against me. But then I hadn’t known what she would do for her sisters. Now I fucking did.

AK ran his hand over the nape of his neck. “Smiler, the little fuck. What the hell was he doin’? The fucker just met all our eyes with zero fuckin’ shame as he carted the rat out of here.” I remembered. But more than that, I remembered how Mae had walked behind them, clutching Lilah and Maddie’s hands . . . never once looking my way.

“Helpin’ his brother,” Cowboy replied from where he rested against the barn’s wall. The laidback Cajun had his arms crossed over his muscled chest and his foot resting against the wood. He looked fucking bored, unlike the rest of the brothers. Cowboy pointed at Hush beside him. “Would never see me cuttin’ this guy up in revenge.” He shook his head. “Don’t fuckin’ care if he shot up a whole fuckin’ town, I wouldn’t fuckin’ do it.” He flicked his chin in the direction of the door. “Smiler never took one strike at Rider. Thinkin’ he still sees him as his family. Thinkin’ he forgives him too.”

Viking laughed. “Think it’s ‘bout time you go change your tampon, Cowboy. You bein’ on the rag this heavy is makin’ you real fuckin’ emotional.”

Cowboy smiled a cold smile at Viking. “Say what you want, brother, but you ain’t gonna be putting a blade through Flame or AK’s head anytime soon. You’d fuckin’ die for them first.”

Viking stuck his finger up at Cowboy; Cowboy tipped the edge of his Stetson in response. The Cajun was dead right.

I looked at Bull, and signed,
“Get the prospects to clean this place up.”

I stormed toward the door, but before I got there, Viking said, “So what, Prez? We’re just gonna let him get away with all the shit he’s done?”

My back tensed as I heard the pissed-off tone in his voice. But I didn’t reply. I walked forward, but Vike spoke again. “You’re the fuckin’ Hangmen prez! You can’t be lettin’ your piece of pussy stop this kill! Tonight was a fuckin’ joke. You shoulda grabbed all y’all bitches by their hair and threw them outside! Pussy don’t interfere with Hangmen business. You just stood there like a dick and let them take him!”

Rage must have made me black out or some shit. Because the next thing I knew I had his huge fucking pale body up against the wall, my hand squeezing the air from his fucking throat. I could hear the brothers’ shouts from behind me, but I didn’t fucking care. All my attention was on this fuck. His eyes locked on mine as his face reddened. The anger searing through me forced words from my fucking defective mouth. “Y-You w-w-wanna be the f-f-fuckin’ p-prez? Y-You wanna t-t-take this sh-shit from m-my h-h-hands?” I slammed my free hand over the “Prez” patch on my cut. “Y-you w-want this? ‘Cause I-I’m sick of all th-this sh-shit!” My fingers piled more pressure onto his throat. Leaning closer, I said, “Y-You e-ever m-m-mention M-Mae again a-a-and I’ll k-k-kill y-y-you!” Viking’s eyes bulged. I dropped my arm and watched the fucker fall.

I whipped around to face my brothers with my arms spread wide. They were silently staring at me in shock. “An-anyone e-e-else wanna f-f-fuckin’ say s-s-somethin’?” I roared, my lips curling in fucking rage.

No fucker said a thing.

Dropping my arms, I fucking hightailed it into the rain, letting the water wash the blood from my skin.

I heard the sound of footsteps chasing me, and it was no surprise to me that it was Ky. My best friend joined me at my side. I turned to the thick wood of trees and began cutting through to my cabin.

“Fuck, Styx!” he said. “You just fuckin’ spoke! The brothers are just stood there like zombies, fuckin’ dumbstruck!” I kept pounding forward. My pulse was slamming in my neck. “SHIT!” he screamed and balled his hands into fists. “Our old men would be rollin’ in their fuckin’ graves at the shit that just happened! We can’t let our bitches do that again; the brothers were right. Hell, our old men would have slapped the fuck outta their women for pullin’ a move like that. That can’t happen. They need to keep their mouths shut.”

I didn’t respond; I just moved faster. “Styx,” Ky called as he followed me up the wet verge. “STYX!”

I spun around and shouted, “Wh-what the f-f-fuck do you ex-expect me t-to d-d-do?!”

The rain poured down my face and I yanked my hand through my hair. Knowing I couldn’t speak for shit right now, I signed,
“You gonna kick the fuck outta Lilah for that shitshow? You think Flame is gonna lock Madds away and beat her for goin’ against him?”
I tensed my jaw.
“No, the fucker would kill any brother who even expected it of him. And don’t for a second think that I wouldn’t kill any prick in this club who wanted to punish Mae in my place.”
A growl rattled in my chest.
“I’d fuckin’ murder them, Ky. Any fucker tries to even speak to her about that fuckin’ interruption and I’ll fuckin’ rip out their tongues.”

I pointed at Ky.
“And we both fuckin’ know you ain’t gonna do shit to Li. So you tell me, brother. What the fuck do we do now? ‘Cause Bella ain’t gonna let us get near that cunt. And Mae, Madds and Li ain’t gonna watch us tear Bella outta the fuckin’ way to get to him either.”

Ky sighed and leaned back against a tree. “It’s the rules, Styx. He needs to be killed. Ain’t no Hangmen rat ever been spared since the club was founded. We gonna be the first to let this shit go?” He huffed a humorless laugh. “We’ll be fuckin’ laughed at.”

“Fuck, I know!”
I signed, managing to calm the fuck down
. “Those brothers in there want blood. Our bitches want us to crush the kill.”

Ky shook his head. “We can’t. The debt needs to be paid.”

I moved to the tree opposite Ky and leaned against it. All I could fucking think of was what Bella had spewed about us forgiving Mae, Li and Madds. About how if it came down to it, if I would kill Ky. If he’d kill me.

“Would you do it?”
Ky watched my hands.
“If you had to kill me, could you do it?”

Ky looked away into the black woods. I didn’t think the brother would answer. Then he shook his head. “No. Not a fuckin’ chance.”

I closed my eyes and thought back to watching Rider as he choked his twin to death on the commune floor. The fucking look on his face as he watched him thrash beneath him . . . the hundreds of bodies surrounding him as he killed his fucking blood.

Jesus fuckin’ Christ.

“These bitches are makin’ seepin’ wet pussies outta us, you know that right?” Ky said, and I opened my eyes. Ky was smirking as he stared at me. My chest fucking lightened as I smirked back.

“We were stronger before,” Ky said, and this time he lost his smile. “Before the women. You and me were unbreakable. A fuckin’ ruthless unit. Now . . . ” He shrugged.

“You tellin’ me you wish you’d never met Li?”
I signed.

Ky’s eyes moved to the direction of his cabin and that fucking smile was back. “No. Fuck, I
should
. After that shit they did tonight, I should . . . but I can’t. That fuckin’ bitch is my kryptonite.” He huffed. “She fuckin’ knows it too. And now I got Grace.” The brother shook his head. “Fuck, Styx. I just got what I thought we would never get. I ain’t gonna fuck up now. You saw the change in Li as much as I did. She’s happy, Prez. She’s fuckin’
happy
.”

I thought of Mae in that damn sonogram room weeks ago, and I fucking knew what he meant. ‘Cause,
Christ
, she was fucking happy too.
“I’m goin’ inside
,” I signed and pushed myself off the tree.

“Yeah,” Ky said and turned toward his cabin.

Just as he was about to disappear from my sight, I said, “Ky!”

He walked back and tipped his head. “I-I’m r-r-really fuckin’ h-happy for y-you, brother. Gr-Grace. You deserve h-her.”

Ky’s lips curled into a smile and nodded his head. “You ain’t goin’ soft on me, are you, man? Like, you ain’t expectin’ me to fuckin’ man-hug you or some shit?”

I shook my head and gave him the finger.

Ky laughed and walked to his cabin.

When I pushed through my front door, the place was silent. I had to take deep breaths to stop myself going up to the clubhouse and tearing Mae away from Rider. If I went near him, I’d kill him.

I took a bottle of beer from the bar and kicked off my boots. I slumped onto the couch and took a swig of my drink. The house was too fucking quiet. I was used to hearing Mae laugh, or her soft voice singing some Dylan somewhere.

I reached for the remote and flicked on the TV. I froze; the first thing that greeted me was a helicopter view of the fucking commune. Cops were swarming all over the land, the dead bodies still scattered around. AK had called in the information to the cops as an anonymous tip. Looked like the fuckers finally found New Zion
.

The ticker along the bottom of the news channel read
“Mass Suicide at Austin-based Doomsday Cult.”
Even from the distant camera angles, I could see the one fucker in a white tunic at the front of all the bodies.

Judah. Motherfucking Judah, who Rider killed with his fucking bare hands.

Fuck!

I tipped my head back, closing my eyes. I heard a gasp from the back of the room. I opened my eyes and saw Mae standing in the doorway, watching the scenes on the TV. She edged forward, taking in the mass of bodies. A close-up of Judah came onscreen, and Mae stilled. “Oh God . . . ” she whispered as she saw the shitshow that was her old life in technicolor. Her fucking wolf eyes shimmered with tears.

Shit.
She looked exhausted. Her long hair was wet from the storm. Mae blinked. “That could have been us. This
would
have been us had we not gotten out.”

Mae seemed to snap herself out of her fuckin’ trance then looked at me. Her cheeks drained of color, but she schooled her fuckin’ features and straightened her spine. I almost smirked as she stood defiantly before me. Just like she had in that fuckin’ barn.

I gripped the bottle tighter in my hand. I had no fuckin’ idea what to say to her. I didn’t know whether to be pissed or proud. But one thing was for sure, she’d just brought a shit-ton of trouble to my door.

The brothers could turn on me over this shit.

Mae moved toward me. I tensed, wondering what the fuck was about to happen, when she shocked me all to hell by straddling my thighs.

I grunted as she sat herself the fuck down and pressed her forehead to mine. I closed my eyes and put my bottle on the side table so I could place my hands on her tiny waist.

Mae began kissing down my cheek and along my neck. I held her tighter as my cock began to harden. Her hands ran down my bare chest, and I lifted my fingers to her hair, fisting the strands tight so I could smash her mouth to mine.

Mae cried out as I sunk my tongue along next to hers and dragged her pussy along my hard cock in my leathers. She broke away, trying to breathe. I never let go of her though. She was staying right fucking here.

“Styx,” Mae said breathlessly, then edged back on my lap. Her wolf eyes met mine and I saw the plea in her face. “You cannot kill him. Please. For me. You cannot.”

I dropped my head back, trying to keep from turning Mae over and fucking her into next year. Her mouth moved back to my neck. I stared up at the ceiling. “Y-You f-fucked u-up.”

Mae broke from my neck. She brought herself higher so her face looked down on mine. “I know,” she said softly. “But . . . but I cannot regret it. I love my sister, Styx. She deserves to be as happy as Lilah and Maddie.” Mae ran her finger down my face. Her eyes filled with that fucking look she only wore when she looked at me, and it just about destroyed me. “She deserves to be as blissfully happy as I am with you.”

Mae took my hand from her waist and moved it over her stomach. “I saw how lost she was when she saw Maddie, Lilah and me, happy in our freedom. Then I saw how she was with Rider . . . and how he was with her.” My nose flared as she mentioned that dick.

“I know he has done wrong. But I also agree with Bella. Rider has done nothing but try to make amends for his role in this mess, ever since he realized it was all false.
More
than his role, his brother’s and uncle’s too. We need to let it be. I will not see Bella hurt by my husband’s hand. I . . . ” Tears built in her eyes. “I could not cope with being the reason for her pain. She has suffered enough. Rider has suffered enough. Just . . . stop.”