Authors: Cindi Madsen
“I bet we got five? Six?” Jax glanced behind them, retracted his blade, and rolled up the window.
“I guess I should feel good about that.” But she didn’t. Her heart was still racing, her palms were sweaty, she had a feeling her hood had a blood streaked dent, and the driver side window was broken. Worse than all that, though, was the feeling she’d done something so incredibly stupid. Put her life in danger and gained nothing. Dad, Mom, Gran, and probably ancestors going back several generations would be ashamed.
Talk about a failure.
“You’ve got to stop beating yourself up,” Jax said as he crawled into bed next to Persephone. “People make mistakes, and we got away.”
“I ignored all I’ve been taught, and for what? So I can feel better about people dying? No matter what I do, it’s not going to change what’s already happened. No, I’ve got to go and do something stupid to prove to myself I’m—” In the nick of time, Persephone stopped herself from saying the words out loud.
Not evil.
Jax’s arm came around her, and his lips brushed her neck as he spoke. “That you’re what?”
“I just feel like a failure. And helpless. And I hate everything.”
“Everything? What about this?” He hugged her tighter and kissed her neck.
“Okay, so maybe not everything.” She rolled to face him. The streetlight outside her window spilled through the blinds, illuminating Jax’s face.
She grabbed a fistful of his shirt, tugged him to her, and pressed her lips against his. Heat ran through her body, and she kissed him deeper, biting lightly at his bottom lip.
He moaned, and then he was pulling her onto him, running his hands up her back, slipping his tongue into her mouth. Thoughts seemed far away and detached; the world around them melted away.
A couple dizzying minutes later, she finally found enough strength to pull free, even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. As much as she cared about him, she was still worried about going too far, too fast. They were already dangerously close to crossing a line she knew she wasn’t ready for.
“I don’t know if sleeping in the same bed is such a good idea,” she said, slightly out of breath. “I didn’t realize it would be so…”
So hard to think clearly. Or to control myself.
Jax sat up, breathing heavy as well. He ran his hands through his hair and his voice came out strained. “Okay. You want me to go sleep on the couch again?”
“No!” She clamped onto his arm. It could be a coincidence the nightmares stayed away when he was next to her, but she didn’t think so. With his arms around her, she felt safe. Without him next to her—well, she was afraid to find out. “We’ve just got to be more careful.”
“Hey, you’re the one who started that one. Not that I’m complaining.” Big smile on his face, he did the double eyebrow raise.
“No more of that either. We’ll just sleep.”
Jax shook his head. “You’re overestimating my willpower. You smell good, and you’re soft, and I…” His gaze ran down her and he gulped. “I better sleep on the floor.”
“But that’ll be so uncomfortable.”
“Trust me, I’ve slept in much worse conditions. There’s carpet, and I’ll have a pillow. I’ll be fine.” He threw his pillow on the floor, and she swore he mumbled something about blocking and stabbing a demon in the heart.
She tossed him an extra blanket and he lay on the floor, folding his hands across his chest. “Goodnight, Jax.”
“Night, babe.”
Persephone smiled, her heart fluttering in her chest. Then, because her self-control was barely hanging on by a thread, she rolled away from him and squeezed her eyes closed, thinking she’d never be able to fall asleep.
The first rays of the day spilled across the meadow, dew clung to the grass and leaves. A breeze floated over Persephone, carrying a crisp earthy scent.
And there he was, leaning against the tree, his form lit by the rising sun. “Hello, my love.”
His voice cut through her, sending goose bumps across her skin. Instead of running to him like she normally did, Persephone forced herself to remain where she was.
Adrastos straightened. His dark eyes bored into her, and her traitorous heart beat faster, apparently not getting the message she was supposed to be unaffected by him now. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
A couple of large strides and he was standing right in front of her, reaching for her.
Persephone took a step back. “I can’t do this anymore.” The air felt thick in her throat as she struggled to get the words out. “I’m…I’m with someone else.”
The muscles along his jaw went rigid. “You’re with me.”
Her pulse pounded through her head, the noise making it hard to think. “He’s here in New Orleans with me, Adrastos. We can really be together. Not just at night or in my dreams, but—” The pain in his expression made her stop. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. “I’ll always care for you, but I need someone who can actually wrap his arms around me.”
In one quick movement, his arms were around her, drawing her to him. “I can do that, too.”
Persephone closed her eyes, trying not to think about how good it felt to be next to him again. Thoughts were getting fuzzy, and her arms longed to be around him, hugging him back. “You’ll be gone in minutes, maybe for days, or weeks. It’s not the same.”
She dared to open her eyes.
It was a mistake.
His eyes locked onto hers, and her heart knotted. It took all her strength to finish her thought. “So I’m…with him…now.”
She tried to step back, but his grip around her tightened. “You’re with me,” he said. “You’ll always be with me.”
“But I’m not. You’re…wherever you are, and I’m somewhere else. I need him. I can’t be with you right now.”
“
See, there you said it. ‘Right now.’ He’s temporary, and you know it. So don’t do this. Not now, when we’re so close to being together.”
Breathing became impossible.
“Does he know you like I do?” Adrastos asked. “Does he know about your family, your dreams and fears, the demon blood that courses through your veins?”
Biting her lip, Persephone dropped her gaze
Adrastos cupped her chin and tilted her face back up to his. “I know you, Persephone. I know you and I love you.”
Tears filled her eyes.
And then he ran his thumb across her bottom lip, completely undoing her. Her emotions tore at her, part of her desperate to believe him, the other part screaming it was too late. She was with Jax now.
Adrastos let go of her chin and ran his fingers along the top of her collarbone. “I’ll be with you soon, and then we’ll never have to be apart again.”
His hand slipped behind her neck and he leaned in, his lips moving toward hers.
Persephone put her hand on his chest, keeping him back. “I can’t. Not while—”
He yanked her to him and captured her mouth. She started to push him away…
Heat filled her, and she started pulling him to her instead. He shoved her against the tree and pressed into her, driving her wild with desire.
Her breath caught as he sucked at the base of her neck.
And then he was kissing her mouth again. She wound her fingers through his hair, wanting to hold him there—to keep him with her forever.
“You belong with me,” he whispered against her lips. “You’ll always belong with me.”
One last kiss that made the world spin, and then he gave her a smile that made her warm all over. “Soon, my love. I’ll see you soon.”
Persephone’s eyes popped open and she glanced around the dark room. Her heart hammered against her ribs and her breath came out in ragged bursts. She rolled to look at Jax, guilt already filling her.
But he wasn’t there.
Persephone stared up at the ceiling. She felt dizzy and warm. Feverish. She got out of bed, glanced down the hall, and hurried into the bathroom, flipping on the light on her way in.
Thirsty. She was so thirsty. She walked to the sink, cupped water in her hands and drank. Then she splashed the cool water on her face.
Taking deep breaths to calm her racing pulse, she glanced up, into the mirror. Her lips were red, still tingling from Adrastos’s kisses. Red caught her eye and she leaned closer. A strawberry mark was on the base of her neck.
Footsteps sounded down the hall and stopped outside the bathroom. “Persephone?” Jax’s voice was filled with concern, and she hated herself.
She pulled her hair forward, flipped off the light, and stepped out of the bathroom.
Jax reached out and ran his hand down her arm. “You have a nightmare?”
The memory of her dream sent heat through her, and her throat went dry. “No. Just…” She swallowed, trying to come up with a good excuse. If only it wasn’t so hard to think clearly right now. “Couldn’t sleep. You?”
“I woke up and was starving, so I grabbed a snack.”
Looking at him made her want to cry. Faking a yawn, she covered her mouth and turned toward the bedroom. “Okay, well, I’m going back to bed.”
“Right behind you.”
The words sent a fresh pang of guilt through her chest. Worried Jax would see the hickey, she dug a high-neck, long sleeved T-shirt out of her drawer and pulled it over her tank top, even though she was already way too warm.
She was about to climb back in bed, when Jax’s arms came around her. He pressed a light kiss on her temple.
Just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse.
Every gesture showed her how much she didn’t deserve him.
It was just a dream. It’s not like—
She stopped that thought short. Hard to argue it was only a dream when she had the proof on the base of her neck.
I don’t have to deal with it right now. Jax is here, and I need him. Everything else can wait.
But when Adrastos did come, and she knew he would, she was going to be totally and utterly screwed.
Persephone was about to enter Mr. Ramsey’s classroom when Jax tugged on her hand, pulling her away from the door. “I tried to hold it back all morning, but I can tell something’s wrong.”
Persephone’s stomach clenched. “Nothing’s wrong.”
His eyebrows shot up, his expression saying he didn’t buy it. Probably because she’d avoided eye contact all morning. Not to mention the kiss she dodged, making the excuse they needed to get to school.
“Every time I think I’m making progress with you, you pull away again.” He put his hand on the wall behind her and leaned closer. “It’s driving me crazy.”
Crazy. That was something she knew way too much about.
“I mean last night you were…” His gaze landed on her lips and desire lit his eyes.
Heat flooded her cheeks, at first because she was embarrassed at how forward she’d been, then because she was remembering how amazing it felt to be pressed against him, kissing him.